BLOGTOBERFEST: THE [NAME REDACTED] HOOK EDITION

Wait, Orson, you are implying you AREN’T this guy?

Sadly, no. But we are one of these guys.

That’s a beautiful cover pic, though the yellow arrow on the crotch had to feel uncomfortable throughout the shoot.

A sock full of nickles will not cause a skull fracture. But put a cue ball in that sock and you’ll get a nice depressed fracture.

Holtz has definitely been bashing Tennessee this week. Lack of skill position talent or not, you can count me among those who will be slightly concerned when they come to Gainesville.

i always thought phil “steele” sounded like a porn name…turns out it’s less porn than his real name.

were that miami fan’s gold fronts fused together??? even during the uncomfortable silence of the bad fade out he didn’t utter a sound.

lieutenant winslow?

Towel rack? Still trying to fit those Single Wing articles in?

I’m happy to trade in “Gator’s Wear Jean Shorts” for “You’re Girlfriend Has Fat Arms.” Would that satisfy Mr. Travis?

The sad thing about the U video, those aren’t daywalkers. That’s all it takes to actually go to the school.

I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t know Da U had a film school.

Unfortunately for my wife, the trick I play is less towel rack, and more washrag-ish.

This is the Vick joke…

Call up your buddy and say “Hey, did you hear they fired Croom today?”

Buddy: “WHAT!?! How could they do that this close to the start of the season”

You: “Well, Larry Templeton was quoted as saying ‘Once our target became available, we just couldn’t wait any longer… we figure if Mike Vick can’t get these Dawgs to fight, nobody can’.”

Buddy: “You are such an ass, man… don’t ever call me again.”

I think the fans from Da U are the worst in the ACC.

13

That joke assumes there are functioning telephones in Starkville.

No, You and your buddy can be anywhere outside of Starkville… it only assumes that a Larry Templeton quote could have gotten out of Starkville in the 3 weeks since Vick was arrested.

Wait, Steele/Seaman drinks Mountain Dew…and has to (I assume) pay for it? Why hasn’t Mountain Dew given this man a sponsorship? If anything in anything is X-TREME~!, it’s motherfucking Phil Steele.

Pretty sure Foxworthy was EE. They didn’t really have CS back in the 70’s.

Jean shorts-Only two types of people should be allowed to wear them.
1. Old men (over 40) because they don’t know any better.
2. Black men because they wear them so low they look like jeans anyway.

Any white male aged 16-35 can not rep the jorts and be getting laid. This is not an opinion, merely fact.

Re: #19

I disagree.

Tobias Fünke: I booked a wonderful spot for the party – the Queen Mary. Perhaps I should call the hot cops and tell them to come up with a more nautical theme. Hot sailors. Better yet… Hot seam…

Michael: I like hot sailors.

Tobias Fünke: Me too.

Wait a sec, WHO is it that writes EDSBS? And that link at least explains why Warren St. John hasn’t written anything that I could find in the last 6 months.

#19

1. People that don’t know any better
a) old men
b) dudes from Australia

I knew an Aussie exchange student when I was at uf who only brought jorts with him from australia and he still slayed like nobody’s business when he was there.

#23.
Maybe that is the key. I need to work on my accent. Goo day mate!

Smithers: “I think women and seamen don’t mix.”
Burns: “We know what you think.”

#23: This was at UF, right? Well, there’s your answer.

The coaches hot seat is sketchy past the first 20 or so. I dont understand how Oregons Mike Bellotti, Toledos Tom Amstutz or Fresno States Pat Hill could be ‘near the hot seat’.

1st off… Phil “Seman” drinks tons of mountain dew…remember the urban myth that mountain dew lowered your “Seman” count…

2nd…During a year I spent working in Whor-lando surrounding myself with Gators who swore they didn’t own jean shorts, we had a company picnic. Needless to say, Gator shirts and jean shirts were prevalent attire.

3rd…stop fighting it Gator fans. embrace the denim. just say fuck it, and wear you jean shorts proudly. I would certainly respect this move. Next thing you know, Gamecock fans would be standing in line at the Levi outlet to catch on with the trend.

Saying that there are just as many jorts in any given place in Gainesville as in your average Wal-Mart doesn’t exactly blow the lid off the jorts myth.

For what it’s worth, my observation is that LSU fans wear far more jorts than Gator faithful.

The jean shorts insult never should’ve replaced “Gators eat boogers” in the first place.

If the DawgNation returns to our roots and re-embraces the booger insult—the wins will once again pile up at the Coke Orgy.

The best part is the genteel tone of most UGA jibes. As in:

UGA fan: “Gators eat boogers!”

UF fan: “I ate out your mom. And that’s why I use antibiotic toothpaste now.”

UGA fan: “Gators eat boogers!”

Ad infinitum…

That douchebag with the fake gold grill has a wedding ring on—- I’m curious to see what 300 pound sweaty trailer dragging bird he’s married to.

Hmmmm….lets see, 32-6, 53-34, 38-31, throw in 3 losses & it looks like us’ns in Starksville are batting .500 against the swamp denizens over the last 15 years, which is far better than the other SEC dawgs.

Yes! There are working phones in Starksville too…we just thought LT didn’t know which end to speak into.

A better response to the Gator Mom-eating jab:

Munching puss—how Gators have been making up for limp dicks for 50 years.

i hate you all.

bro.

Continue eating your sweet denial meringue pie, but we know the truth.

http://tinyurl.com/ywspez