YET ANOTHER SIGN OF IMPENDING FOOTBALL

by Orson on Aug 15, 2007 10:03 AM EDT

We were stumbling around the room at 6:15 this a.m. when another sign of impending and awesome football stumbled across the CNN crawl as Sanjay Gupta told us all the bad things lead poisoning can do to you. (Why no one talks about all the upside of lead poisoning is yet another cheat the liberal MSM sells you on every day, slave!)

The crawl read:

PERCY HARVIN SAT OUT FLORIDA PRACTICE WITH ANKLE TENDONITIS, COACH URBAN MEYER SAYS ...

When CNN's giving you crawl on Harvin's wonky ankle, you know a rough beast is rising. Harvin's ankle seems to be a chronic inflammation thingy, meaning that it's tweaky, will continue to be tweaky, and may disappear overnight/haunt him the rest of his life. It must be the side effects of being so fast your foot actually adheres to the earth from the heat of it abrading the turf.

He suffered from it last season, too, so diving headfirst into the ditch of fan despair might not be the most logical thing for Florida fans. He did decently enough. We hear. You know, from, people. Football types.

Even if Harvin's ankle continues its codgery ways, Florida's got speed to burn--nay, incinerate. Andre Caldwell's a no-bullshit-wind-aided-Florida-State-clocked 4.3 runner, freshman Chris Rainey and Deonte Thompson both change weather patterns with sub 4.4. speed, and Brandon James, the discount Barry Sanders type caught purchasing local produce illicitly earlier this year, can run very, very quickly. Even if Harvin's not 100% for the year, there's a mess of mess for defensive coordinators to handle.

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Comments

What’s it like to have depth at receiver?

by Jerkwheat on Aug 15, 2007 10:10 AM EDT reply actions

It sucks, actually. Until we find that mathematically impossible way to get seven wideouts on the field at once, we can’t use them all.

by Orson Swindle on Aug 15, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Trindon Holliday thinks Harvin is amusing offshoot of the sloth family or a mutant slug. He’s not sure because the world is a blur to him.

by LSUJoshua on Aug 15, 2007 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

However if you see a scroll at the bottom about Ronnie Wilson hyperextending his trigger finger…oh wait.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2549540

Typhoid Percy is contagious!

by Bully Van De Graaf on Aug 15, 2007 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

Orson,
You want seven wideouts?
Two words:
Master Blaster

by RedDevilEA on Aug 15, 2007 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

It’s good to be Chris Rainey’s ankles.

by Allahver Fist on Aug 15, 2007 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

Boy, Harvin’s running style reminds me a lot of Steve Slaton.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 15, 2007 10:22 AM EDT reply actions

Almost as fast as CJ Spiller.

by yoyofutbawl on Aug 15, 2007 10:26 AM EDT reply actions

Trindon Holliday is fast. At 4’ 3" and 86 lbs, you had damn well better be.

by Bully Van De Graaff on Aug 15, 2007 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

Orson – if you aren’t going to use all those guys, we’d be happy to take them off your hands

by Jerkwheat on Aug 15, 2007 10:34 AM EDT reply actions

The next Reggie Bush? $750k can buy a house of epic proportions in G-Ville.

I’m glad that Walter Dix doesn’t play football because I have a feeling the UF secondary would experience some level of toastiness on Nov. 24.

by BDoc on Aug 15, 2007 10:40 AM EDT reply actions

I love that Arkansas ‘meep-meep’ play.

And Percy’s supposed to be stronger and faster than last year? And we have a QB who may actually get a little respect on that option pitch?

Crap, now I’m awake. Was going to get another 2 hours of shut-eye but this was like a triple hazelnut cortadito latte with an extra shot.

by dogtown gator on Aug 15, 2007 10:42 AM EDT reply actions

Love the “red-shift fast” tag, and I look forward to future appearances.

by Boy Howdy on Aug 15, 2007 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Damn, Harvin’s pretty good. Did he not play against LSU?

by Unhappy Monkey on Aug 15, 2007 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

I love YouTube.

by jebushchrist on Aug 15, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions

“[Harvin’s ankle injury] must be the side effects of being so fast your foot actually adheres to the earth from the heat of it abrading the turf.”

Either that, or he’s just a plain, ole’, pussy.

by Aerobab on Aug 15, 2007 11:06 AM EDT reply actions

"[Harvin’s ankle injury] must be the side effects of being so fast your foot actually adheres to the earth from the heat of it abrading the turf."

is that why neon deion had turf toe for like 6 years straight???

by gerry dorsey on Aug 15, 2007 11:12 AM EDT reply actions

You can get 7 WRs on the field at a time. You just need to run an offensive version of the swinging gate.

And you need to pick 2 to be ineligible receivers for the play.

by Brewster Crew on Aug 15, 2007 11:17 AM EDT reply actions

Yeah, but do you have a 200Lb linebacker with 4.9 speed and a black belt in Tae Kwon Do?
I didn’t think so.

by Derrick in SD on Aug 15, 2007 11:25 AM EDT reply actions

Re: Comment 13: “Damn, Harvin’s pretty good. Did he not play against LSU?”

Harvin had one rush against Kentucky for two yards, did not play against Alabama and three touches against LSU- one rush (9 yards) and two receptions (18 yards combined) in the game total

He had an ankle issue after the UCF game last season that severely curtailed his deployment in the middle of last season’s schedule. When he’s healthy- watch out (see: UCF, Arkansas and OSU games last season)

by rjsplow on Aug 15, 2007 11:27 AM EDT reply actions

And with that mention of the Swinging Gate, I know football is near b/c I’m having a slight seizure as I recall Brian Kelly outthinking himself with that formation last year.

by Jerkwheat on Aug 15, 2007 11:36 AM EDT reply actions

Florida’s fast, blah blah blah. They’ll still lose three games, none of those to Georgia.

by Biggus Rickus on Aug 15, 2007 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

nothing like being in atlanta for the SEC championship with my best friend and running into a couple hooter’s girls (Jax Landing) up for the game. That an seeing my lawyuh’s hang one on Dakota Fanning or whatever that guys name is

by Jmuthaf'nT on Aug 15, 2007 11:51 AM EDT reply actions

ditch of fan despair = Starkville?

by PW on Aug 15, 2007 11:59 AM EDT reply actions

I love how Harvin hits the hole. He always looks like he knows exactly where to go and what he’s going to do next against defenders. No indecision.

Alot of credit goes to Meyer too, devising perfect plays to get him the ball and get separation.

If he stays healthy, and Meyer can get him the ball 15+ times per game, look out. And oh yeah, that guy Caldwell on the other side is not bad either.

by Palouse on Aug 15, 2007 12:48 PM EDT reply actions

I love how at the end of that Arkansas run he veers inexplicably, and then you realize that he’s chasing the ref, who begins that panicky “cheesburgers just went on sale at Circle K” sprint.

by Benmillion on Aug 15, 2007 2:10 PM EDT reply actions

Don’t forget about Fayson…

by dmay on Aug 15, 2007 2:42 PM EDT reply actions

I’m still waiting for one of these to be sepia filtered with a honky tonk piano soundtrack.

by Holly on Aug 15, 2007 2:44 PM EDT reply actions

another sign of impending football?…

SEC coaches hangover remedies…

http://gump4heisman.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/07/sunday-sec-coac.html#more

by Ness on Aug 15, 2007 2:49 PM EDT reply actions

Jesus F. Christ that hurts to watch. Y’all sure did kick the shit out of us.

Real tOSU fans want to trade home games ASAP.

Or maybe we’ll just hang out at the Citrus Bowl Jan 1.

by Jorgé the Bass Player on Aug 15, 2007 6:41 PM EDT reply actions

I liked the reverse at 2:10 to go: the blocker is thinking about how to protect Harvin’s flank when he’s already 3 steps gone.

by Tim on Aug 16, 2007 12:16 AM EDT reply actions

…and that deafening roar you hear in Florida Field at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium this fall won’t be the stray B-25 flying across the arena, but the collective sonic boom produced by the Minions of Urban, and known to the rest of the NCAA cfb world as “The Fastest Team in America”…or so I was told…

Can’t. Hold. On. Much. Longer.

by sb on Aug 16, 2007 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

Reggie is just shiftier… if thats a word. It seems like harvin just keeps running trying to get the edge while reggie would have made some of those defenders miss and gotten TD’s.

by The Dude on Aug 19, 2007 1:43 PM EDT reply actions