ALABAMA, YOU’VE BEEN DEADSPUN
Yes, Deadspin hopped on the Alabama luxury condo/Katrina relief story before we did. Somehow Tuscaloosa was included in the Katrina Gulf Opportunity Zone (or GO! Zone, as in “GO build yousself a luxurrreee condo, joon-yah!) despite being 200 miles from the coast and decidedly unaffected by Hurricane Katrina. The tax breaks have gone toward, among other even more scurrilous things, we’re sure, the construction of gameday condos in Tuscaloosa, complete with “$1 million for units with granite countertops, king-size bathtubs and ‘Bama decor, including crimson couches and Bear Bryant wall art.”
The real fallout will come from explaining to Alabama fans that writing all of this off is not already tax-deductible, even under Alabama law. Hey, until you cave in on the Shug Jordan memorabilia exemption in State Bill 1389, it’s off the table, Bammer legislators. (Love, Auburn alums, Alabama Legislature chapter.) In the meantime, the IRS has some sweet audit steak just waiting for them in the form of all those $15,000 write-offs under “home churches” to Bear Bryant shrines.
When asked what he thought, Nick Saban responded with a statement involving the words “time”, “not having any,” and “shit.” The best quote from the article:
“It is a joke,” said Tuscaloosa developer Stan Pate, who has nevertheless used GO Zone tax breaks on projects that include a new hotel and a restaurant.
Fiasco, sir. Abomination! Um, I’m totally taking advantage anyway. He’s quick he’s strong he’s legislatively shady!!! ALABAMA MAAAYYYUN!
90 Replies »
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“And where does one get a lap dance in Tuscaloosa?”
I always preferred the KD house.
Comment by JohnInHuntsville — August 16, 2007 @ 6:24 pm
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Kecalf:
That’s all well and good.
For the sake of accuracy, however, I’m compelled to correct the record.
It was not I who made the first reference to John M. Stallings when discussing the portrait of the midget retard. That was one of your own, mp.
Carry on, daywalker.
Comment by Gurn — August 15, 2007 @ 9:34 am
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A second tier program is one that can go undefeated but fails to be crowned National Champion.
Examples: Tulane, Marshall, Boise State, and what was that other one…thinking….thinking….. thinking… oh yeah, Auburn.
Comment by Sabanite — August 15, 2007 @ 8:35 am
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Furthermore, these comments regarding midget worship at alabama really don’t mean a whole lot coming from a school with a mural of Terry Bowden on the side of their stadium.
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — August 15, 2007 @ 12:16 am
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Alabama.
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — August 14, 2007 @ 10:44 pm
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Gurn:
Fuck you.
Comment by Tyrone Theisman — August 14, 2007 @ 8:25 pm
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Kecalf:
Like i said, I’m sure prints of midget retards are popular. Y’all could have a goat fucking one of those slut twins in the houndstooth hats at the 50, and Daniel Moore could sell millions.
And I thought Prothro did a great Joe Theisman impression.
Kecalf, where’d you go to college?
Comment by Gurn — August 14, 2007 @ 7:22 pm
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Kecalf,
If you can’t make fun of midgets, then, sir, I dare say that it is you who is the retard.
Comment by Bobby — August 14, 2007 @ 7:21 pm
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typo - “an assistant”
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — August 14, 2007 @ 6:31 pm
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Just to clear something up, Alabama fans are not benefitting from the tax breaks, the builders are. The notion that Bama fans are low class because they buy condos built in a “go zone” and Auburn fans aren’t because their condos were not built in a “go zone” is retarded. It is probably the same people building the condos in both places.
Also, that wasn’t a picture of John Mark Stallings, it was Big C, and assistand atheltic trainer and damn nice guy. Fuck you for making fun of him Gurn. I hope you get cancer.
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — August 14, 2007 @ 6:30 pm