WILDCAT TOO FANCY—BRING BACK SINGLE WING!!!
Marcus Monk, the lone offensive threat not wearing a running back’s number on the Arkansas Razorbacks’ roster, suffered a knee injury in practice yesterday. The injury is most likely some torn cartilage, according to Dr. Houston Nutt, who diagnosed the injury on sight after practice.
With the injury to Monk, the Razorbacks lose their last excuse to not run that most glorious of sledgehammer offenses the whole season: the single wing. Did you think your day was complete without the single wing? You were fucking wrong, sir/ma’am. Revel in its cromag glory, and eat a caribou leg cooked over open flame in honor of it. (Where no caribou is available, a Baconnator will do. You must eat if off the tip of a broadsword, though, to make the whole thing work.)
Its similarity to the Te-bone or the West Virgnia spread is, at times, frightening. The Wildcat looks downright sophisticated in comparison, what with all that “passing” done from it.* Your last excuse is gone, Don Porkrind. Embrace the single wing. You know you crave it.
*Four passes a year= a lot. Love, Houston Nutt.
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The best part is when the guy scores at about the 6:40 mark, the ref shoots off a pistol. Much better than that lame hand-raising thing.
Comment by J.D. — August 11, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
47
I often have to resort to getting coke (lower case … definitely an important distinction) here in Charlottesville because there is a vast shortage of tea here. And those of you from SC know what I mean when I use the word ‘tea’. I thought Virginia was in the South!
Comment by EarthyTechnoPop — August 10, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
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There is NO, absolutely NONE, Diet Sun Drop in Columbia. There is very limited Sun Drop in Columbia, actually.
As those who are from the Carolinas know, Sun Drop and Cheerwine go together like peanut butter and jelly. If a restaurant, BBQ joint, grocery store, etc, has one, they damn sure better have the other.
Luckily, the Teeters in Charlotte and the Triangle all carry both SD and Diet SD.
And, yes, nabs are good. I, too, vaguely remember the “toastchee” Lance speak, sans peanut butter, packets.
I, myself, am partial to the Nekots, but I digress. They are all, “nabs.”
And, as OOC stated, any soft drink is a coke, lower case “c.” Every time I have been the one to grab a coke on a road trip I ask, “do you want a coke?” If they say yes, I then ask, what do you want?
Dirty Gamecock using synonamous nomenclature. It is like we all grew up together in the state of SC and basically see eye to eye on every subject but one.
Bollocks…
Comment by Coop — August 10, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
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Check out 6:40, I guess that has to be an actual starter’s pistol being used by the zebra?
Comment by LloydCarrIsAChildMolester — August 10, 2007 @ 4:44 pm
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VandyJ – the ‘Dores had to have run something else. The earliest reported founding of the single wing, by Pop Warner, is 1906. Vandy had to be running something else.
Comment by Newspaper Hack — August 10, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
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I really hope the doo doo ice does not rear its ugly head at the Brice again this year.
I was mangle faced the first time I caught a waft of the doo doo ice in my jack and coke and I was positive I shit myself.
Comment by Tommy Boy — August 10, 2007 @ 3:22 pm
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“The injury is most likely some torn cartilage, according to Dr. Houston Nutt, who diagnosed the injury on sight after practice. ”
Do you have the phone records to prove that?
Want ‘em?
Comment by #1 Hog — August 10, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
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YMB - You could also link the music to Rocky working out in a cold Siberian cabin.
Comment by Rome — August 10, 2007 @ 2:39 pm