Our belated daily affirmation will be our last post for this week, which has been a very, very fun one. Bid adieu to the twenties, since as of next week, we’re into teens–just like half of our filthy, depraved readership (male and female, of course.)
On that note, we give you the lewd and lascivious reminder that with the return of Luther Campbell and the phrase “butt buddies” working itself into their coaches’ lexicon, Da U looks primed for a return to being Da U. To celebrate, we remind you that if they do return to the days of five-minute choreographed touchdown dances, then we’re all getting a ride on the trunk from the 7th Floor Crew. On the trunk? On the trunk.
Play the song to get you in the mood.
(HT: Anonymous brillant poster who wouldn’t want us to use his name–Beano.
It’s inconceivable that you would root for a college football team for a university you didn’t attend, but still, it happens. And if you do happen to root for a team you have little to no connection to–like our textbook example, Clay Travis of CBS Sportsline–then hell, we can’t piss on that with too much bladder power. It’s college football. Who wouldn’t want in on a sport where animal totem worship is still openly championed in the year 2007?
But remember: you’re still a daywalker.
Daywalker, n. [DEY-waw-ker]. A fan of a college football team who never attended the primary college they root for in real life.
Ex: Clay Travis, though he attended George Washington University and Vanderbilt Law School, is a daywalker who roots for the University of Tennessee. .
We’ll prebut Clay here and just let you know that he thinks Florida girls have fat arms. Despite being a daywalker, he’s written a giggle-inducing book about a season on the road in the SEC, Dixieland Delight. Which goes to show that the distinction is, while amusing, mostly academic. Except when it comes to parking spaces on gameday, you bastards.
The Gainesville Sun may be another bot of the New York Times’ domestic publishing empire, but their sports section–in print and online–is not, especially when it comes to Holy Mother Football. They have beautifully edited practice videos of Florida practices, one of which we’ve embedded below. Watch for freshman Major Wright loosening up a few of Chris Rainey’s teeth and making it definitely ungood to be Chris Rainey for a moment.
Check out the vid after the jump to see Phil Trautwein’s epic piece of flesh art, as well.
Marcus Monk, the lone offensive threat not wearing a running back’s number on the Arkansas Razorbacks’ roster, suffered a knee injury in practice yesterday. The injury is most likely some torn cartilage, according to Dr. Houston Nutt, who diagnosed the injury on sight after practice.
With the injury to Monk, the Razorbacks lose their last excuse to not run that most glorious of sledgehammer offenses the whole season: the single wing. Did you think your day was complete without the single wing? You were fucking wrong, sir/ma’am. Revel in its cromag glory, and eat a caribou leg cooked over open flame in honor of it. (Where no caribou is available, a Baconnator will do. You must eat if off the tip of a broadsword, though, to make the whole thing work.)
Its similarity to the Te-bone or the West Virgnia spread is, at times, frightening. The Wildcat looks downright sophisticated in comparison, what with all that “passing” done from it.* Your last excuse is gone, Don Porkrind. Embrace the single wing. You know you crave it.
Today’s a bit of an academic exercise in cheesecake, but we’re sure it’s a class where your attention won’t wander too much. In order to flesh out (hah) the EDSBS Cheesecake map, we now stick a virtual pin in Uruguay, who according to the CIA Factbook exports “meat, rice, leather products, wool, fish, dairy products”…a type of which could be cheesecake, we suppose.
We present: Barbara Mori, Uruguay. (Found by cheesecake majordomo Kleph, who as a single guy in Peru is a certified expert.)
First our dream shot of any woman, really:
Tight clothing! Hot! Tits! Making coffee!!! PERFECTO!!!
EDSBS Store Live it. Love it. Wear it until it's ripped from your body by envious hordes of tailgaters.
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About us
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
Lake The Posts Northwestern football, which is purple and smarter than you and no thank you would NOT like a ten win season at the cost of academic integrity, thank you very much.
Maize ‘n Brew And still yet another strong, funny, and literate Michigan blogger. Embarrassment of riches over there, really.
MGoBlog The horribly, admirably partisan Kodiak Bear of UM Blogs
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