RANDY SHANNON KNOWS HIS BUTT BUDDIES
by Orson on Aug 7, 2007 7:58 AM EDT
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PrintFamiliar with the term square grouper? It's a term for the plastic-wrapped bales of weed or if you're very lucky/cursed cocaine found floating in the water or washed up on the beach in South Florida. Some people pay for their weddings with them, or put a down payment on a house, or end up begging for their life in a miserable corner of the Everglades to some man named "Rattlesnake."
If you're a reporter waiting for a square grouper of a quote, you need to catch a first-year coach at his most candid. Before he stops cursing during press conferences, or crying, or calling out opponents he can't possibly beat (um hrrghh cough cough Harbaugh.) You need, well...this quote from Randy Shannon.
When asked about Cooper in the spring, Shannon said: "I think Coop did a great job. He brought some some excitement to the team. And he's a calm guy. He's not an arrogant or flamboyant guy." It was going well, then coach goofed. "Believe it or not, he and Javarris James are kind of like butt buddies."
We only hope that in a fair and awesome world, Shannon would have gone on to clarify. "Both have excellent taste in clothing, and possess deep ties with the local arts scene. Both are fond of going to the gym, and are always home in time for Dr. 90210, which they watch with an equal mix of derision and ironic affection. Both have a firm grasp on the concept of camp. And most importantly, both are extremely fond of sodomy. That is, in fact, what I mean when I say they're kind of like butt buddies."
Actually, being members of the 7th Floor Crew, this should strike no one as surprising. After years of the beige from Larry Coker, the fact that we're getting square grouper quotes in year one may mean that greatness is back at Miami in force. Canes fans! It's your birthday!
(HT: Hotlanta Bill.)
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How do you indicate ‘speechless’ on a comment?
Randy “Insert Foot In [Orifice Redacted]” Shannon
Gotta love da U!
by PSUrob on Aug 7, 2007 8:08 AM EDT reply actions
i think the best way to be speechless is, well, just maybe, to not submit a comment? I’m pretty sure you weren’t speechless, seeing as, you know, you said/wrote something.
And I’m not sure which orifice it is that was redacted, but it must be the mouth. They are apparently using their asses for other extra-curricular activities in Miami.
by sean on Aug 7, 2007 8:31 AM EDT reply actions
Chalk one up for Randy Shannon.
Its football, not doily making….although, that seems like it might change with Miami U’s ….emerging alternative lifestyle playmakers.
Does this mean he expects Cooper to catch a lot in his backfield?
by Will on Aug 7, 2007 8:45 AM EDT reply actions
Now is the time on Sprockets when we throw out any and all double entendres we can possibly think of. Fish in a barrel, peoples.
by RedDevilEA on Aug 7, 2007 8:58 AM EDT reply actions
“IS IT ARIES??”
“YEAAAHHH!!!”
“IS IT LEO??”
“YEAAAHHH!!!”
“IS IT SCORPIO??”
“YEAAAHHH!!!”
“IS IT CANCER??”
“Uh… yeah, I’m afraid it is.”
“Oh. Oh god, how awful.”
“Yeah. we’re really lucky we caught it early.”
by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 7, 2007 9:01 AM EDT reply actions
Well, my day is done. No way to continue work with those mental images (I include the linked video in that statement).
by HFS on Aug 7, 2007 9:22 AM EDT reply actions
This post is dedicated to the Miami Hurricanes. Keep reaching for that rainbow!
by Orangeblood on Aug 7, 2007 9:33 AM EDT reply actions
What’s the over/under on the first Backfield in Motion joke?
by Will on Aug 7, 2007 9:41 AM EDT reply actions
Lamar Thomas was quoted as saying, “I say, why don’t they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? . . . I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing.”
by Doug on Aug 7, 2007 9:47 AM EDT reply actions
Shannon may never safely rollerblade South Beach again.
by Allahver Fist on Aug 7, 2007 9:53 AM EDT reply actions
“the playmaker” heard about this and was brought to tears.
by gerry dorsey on Aug 7, 2007 9:55 AM EDT reply actions
Do you think the offensive line is going feel a little apprehensive about those tailbacks hitting the hole?
by Unhappy Monkey on Aug 7, 2007 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
Maybe the Canes really are like the Spartan Army?
by Max Fischer on Aug 7, 2007 10:07 AM EDT reply actions
[Threadjack]
In other news coming out of “America’s Penis”, a UF Grad and practicing lawyer is busted for theft of multiple championship trophies from FSU.
I’d believe this guy could be our Lawya Orson, but the story made no reference to kick ass blogging, and for that whole “I live in Georgia and not Florida” thing.
[/Threadjack]
by Aerobab on Aug 7, 2007 10:08 AM EDT reply actions
is it still a ‘square grouper’ if it’s packed in a giant squid?
by kleph on Aug 7, 2007 10:22 AM EDT reply actions
“Stay in the Ghetto, or off to Auschwitz? ISH don think so!”
- Bruno would eat this shit up
by Hook'em Tide on Aug 7, 2007 10:22 AM EDT reply actions
This has absolutely, without question, made my morning. I must resist the urge to photoshop up some safe for work “U”-’lovin.
by Okie on Aug 7, 2007 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
To be fair, they both have really nice asses.
YOU try and resist.
by The Great Barstoolio on Aug 7, 2007 10:53 AM EDT reply actions
Barstoolio, Luther Campbell has five hundred dollars for you after that fine comment.
by Orson Swindle on Aug 7, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions
I think the preferred theme song for this is another 2 Live Crew classic – Let Me Ride That Donkey.
Also, there should be an * after “butt buddies”
- Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
by Palouse on Aug 7, 2007 11:01 AM EDT reply actions
Rick James calls that “having a little sugar in the tank”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-r0D6Ypzbk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdeadon%2Ewordpress%2Ecom%2F
The whole thing is solid gold, but that is at the 3:55 mark.
by chilltown on Aug 7, 2007 11:38 AM EDT reply actions
Didn’t know we could redo the links sorry. testing if this is the same as on Deadspin .
by chilltown on Aug 7, 2007 11:41 AM EDT reply actions
I can’t wait to hear Coach Shannon after a tough loss when he’s all pissy and unguarded. September can’t get here soon enough.
by jebushchrist on Aug 7, 2007 11:57 AM EDT reply actions
O – Thank god he’s back. Momma needs booze money.
Jeebs – loss?
by The Great Barstoolio on Aug 7, 2007 12:40 PM EDT reply actions
No, my favorite quote from the preseason comes from The Orgeron. Speaking about his new defensive coordinator, John Thompson: “His expertise is on the backside, and mine is on the frontside, so this should be a great marriage.” Excellent.
by gatortater on Aug 7, 2007 4:30 PM EDT reply actions
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