Whatever it takes, ‘Canes.

Lieutenant Winslow on the Randy Shannon “butt buddies” quote:

If thats what it takes to win football games, thats what it fucking takes.

LW also points us to Randy Shannon audio of the quote. It’s around the 18 minute mark.

Notre Dame is not NOT rebuilding. Charlie Weis said “may God strike me dead if I use that word,” and then immediately died. HA! No, he didn’t die. That would have been on the news. But he did say that, just like ESPN did everything they could to shoehorn a Notre Dame storyline into College Football Live yesterday, leading off the announcement that Jimmy Clausen was good to start throwing in camp. Even in a year when, as the South Bend Tribune put it, Ty Willingham’s final recruiting class “is slowly working its way through the system, like a kidney stone,” ESPN is still stroking it at the window with the binoculars for Notre Dame.

I also plan on sleeping with Gisele Bundchen and disproving superstring theory this year, too. Jim Moore of the Seattle P.I. gets Louis Rankin to talk some extremely tossed salad when asked what the Huskies’ expectations are this year:

I rephrased the question. “How about realistically speaking?”

“Realistically, undefeated,” Rankin said.

“Realistically, 13-0,” Reece said. “We’re not looking to lose. That’s realistically speaking.”

The Huskies play what is undeniably the toughest schedule in Division One Football this season, including bouts with Ohio State, Hawaii, Boise State, a transcontinental trip to Syracuse, and their regularly scheduled proctology exams in the Pac-10. Rankin also plans on punching a hole through the Olympia Cascade Mountains just to give the people on the other side some fresh air.

Boise State is reloading in grand fashion at running back, according to The Idaho Statesman.

Owen Schmitt, EDSBS man crush and superhuman fullback for the West Virginia Mountaineers, has a new coiffure for the season: a mohawk.


Schmitt’s iron skull: now with even less padding.

The logjam in the backfield for West Virginia–Slaton, White, incoming freshman Noel Devine, and the sprinting cinderblock that is Schmitt–has Rich Rodriguez considering running the ‘bone.

“I don’t know how many people sent me letters about going to the wishbone,” Rodriguez said Saturday, shortly after his team’s season-opening practice at Mountaineer Field. “So I said, ‘The hell with it, I’m gonna do it.’”

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE my god PLEASE let this happen. For the children, Rod.

SMQ has a hilarious and not entirely factual roundup of the first day of practice around the country, including the news that Mark Mangino will be down to a fightin’ 385 by the time he sweats off a few of those fried tapir nuggets.

Urban Meyer sees both Major Wright and Deonte Thompson on the field when the Gators open against Western Kentucky next month. Wright is the skull-fracturing safety brought in to replace Reggie “Motherfuckin’” Nelson at safety, meaning that Meyer is likely not pleased at what he’s seen out of frequently torched senior Kyle Jackson at safety.

The appearance of Thompson would mean Meyer has finally found a way to work in six receivers in a single formation, most likely with the help of mathematics graduate students at the University of Florida.

And finally, Clay Travis has a dream, and it involves the third rail of college football discussion, conference comparisons.