What you can do while KSU’s Josh Freeman offers to eat your dinner for you…

What: EDSBS Live! online radio, presenting the Fall Practice edition. Hydrate. Stretch. Prepare for the fall and work off that Velveeta belt you’re carrying around with our own 90 minute fall practice. Bring our own bucket.

When: 7:30 Eastern, 4:30 Pacific.

Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum. Or just call (310) 984-7600, since we’re taking any and all callers tonight.

Who: You! A fancy way of saying that we have no guests and are going to crank through all the callers we can possibly get to tonight. The People’s Show! Si se puede!

How excited are we? We’re excited like a lover’s voice cross the mountainside, man.

Our four questions for the show:

1. What’s your fall question marks for your team? For Florida, we have a baby at one corner and a converted running back at another. Fortunately, our first major test involves facing a team with no wide receivers, thus continuing the pattern in the Florida/Tennessee matchup that whatever one team lacks, the other will be unable to take severe advantage of in the game because they lack the tools to take advantage.

2. Who is the player your team CANNOT lose this fall? Tim Tebow. The rest of the roster behind him has exactly zero games of experience. As green as our jolly giant is, the rest of the roster are greener still.

3. Your preseason shopping list?

a. Plane ticket to Baton Rouge.
b. One case Zybrowka vodka
c. New laptop
d. Last minute transfer cornerback from Mountain West.
e. New jorts, of course.

4. What’s something that gets you almost as excited as football? Oh, the answers we’ll get here. For our money, it’s videos of people injuring themselves on different forms of transportation.

See you tonight.

Holy hell…despite the increased RAM, we’re swamped with a bit of traffic at the moment. So we’ll just step away for a moment and wait ’till the weather calms down a bit around here. Will hunker down and be back around 3:00 with the EDSBS Live! questions for the day.

Whatever it takes, ‘Canes.

Lieutenant Winslow on the Randy Shannon “butt buddies” quote:

If thats what it takes to win football games, thats what it fucking takes.

LW also points us to Randy Shannon audio of the quote. It’s around the 18 minute mark.

Notre Dame is not NOT rebuilding. Charlie Weis said “may God strike me dead if I use that word,” and then immediately died. HA! No, he didn’t die. That would have been on the news. But he did say that, just like ESPN did everything they could to shoehorn a Notre Dame storyline into College Football Live yesterday, leading off the announcement that Jimmy Clausen was good to start throwing in camp. Even in a year when, as the South Bend Tribune put it, Ty Willingham’s final recruiting class “is slowly working its way through the system, like a kidney stone,” ESPN is still stroking it at the window with the binoculars for Notre Dame.

I also plan on sleeping with Gisele Bundchen and disproving superstring theory this year, too. Jim Moore of the Seattle P.I. gets Louis Rankin to talk some extremely tossed salad when asked what the Huskies’ expectations are this year:

I rephrased the question. “How about realistically speaking?”

“Realistically, 13-0,” Reece said. “We’re not looking to lose. That’s realistically speaking.”

The Huskies play what is undeniably the toughest schedule in Division One Football this season, including bouts with Ohio State, Hawaii, Boise State, a transcontinental trip to Syracuse, and their regularly scheduled proctology exams in the Pac-10. Rankin also plans on punching a hole through the Olympia Cascade Mountains just to give the people on the other side some fresh air.

Boise State is reloading in grand fashion at running back, according to The Idaho Statesman.

Owen Schmitt, EDSBS man crush and superhuman fullback for the West Virginia Mountaineers, has a new coiffure for the season: a mohawk.

Schmitt’s iron skull: now with even less padding.

The logjam in the backfield for West Virginia–Slaton, White, incoming freshman Noel Devine, and the sprinting cinderblock that is Schmitt–has Rich Rodriguez considering running the ‘bone.

“I don’t know how many people sent me letters about going to the wishbone,” Rodriguez said Saturday, shortly after his team’s season-opening practice at Mountaineer Field. “So I said, ‘The hell with it, I’m gonna do it.’”

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE my god PLEASE let this happen. For the children, Rod.

SMQ has a hilarious and not entirely factual roundup of the first day of practice around the country, including the news that Mark Mangino will be down to a fightin’ 385 by the time he sweats off a few of those fried tapir nuggets.

Urban Meyer sees both Major Wright and Deonte Thompson on the field when the Gators open against Western Kentucky next month. Wright is the skull-fracturing safety brought in to replace Reggie “Motherfuckin’” Nelson at safety, meaning that Meyer is likely not pleased at what he’s seen out of frequently torched senior Kyle Jackson at safety.

The appearance of Thompson would mean Meyer has finally found a way to work in six receivers in a single formation, most likely with the help of mathematics graduate students at the University of Florida.

And finally, Clay Travis has a dream, and it involves the third rail of college football discussion, conference comparisons.

Familiar with the term square grouper? It’s a term for the plastic-wrapped bales of weed or if you’re very lucky/cursed cocaine found floating in the water or washed up on the beach in South Florida. Some people pay for their weddings with them, or put a down payment on a house, or end up begging for their life in a miserable corner of the Everglades to some man named “Rattlesnake.”

If you’re a reporter waiting for a square grouper of a quote, you need to catch a first-year coach at his most candid. Before he stops cursing during press conferences, or crying, or calling out opponents he can’t possibly beat (um hrrghh cough cough Harbaugh.) You need, well…this quote from Randy Shannon.

When asked about Cooper in the spring, Shannon said: “I think Coop did a great job. He brought some some excitement to the team. And he’s a calm guy. He’s not an arrogant or flamboyant guy.” It was going well, then coach goofed. “Believe it or not, he and Javarris James are kind of like butt buddies.”

We only hope that in a fair and awesome world, Shannon would have gone on to clarify. “Both have excellent taste in clothing, and possess deep ties with the local arts scene. Both are fond of going to the gym, and are always home in time for Dr. 90210, which they watch with an equal mix of derision and ironic affection. Both have a firm grasp on the concept of camp. And most importantly, both are extremely fond of sodomy. That is, in fact, what I mean when I say they’re kind of like butt buddies.”

Actually, being members of the 7th Floor Crew, this should strike no one as surprising. After years of the beige from Larry Coker, the fact that we’re getting square grouper quotes in year one may mean that greatness is back at Miami in force. Canes fans! It’s your birthday!

(HT: Hotlanta Bill.)