DAILY AFFIRMATION: DAY 26
Today’s daily affirmation reminds us that while Florida fans are the alleged deans of Jort University, the pant-ing choice of Sex Panthers everywhere isn’t just for Gator fans. Because…
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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1
Brian says:
I saw a guy put on a UGA T-shirt up at my Apt pool in MD yesterday, it made my skin crawl. T-Minus 3 weekends without football. Wooooooo!!!
August 6th, 2007 at 7:44 am
2
PeteJayhawk says:
Remember, Orson. Hope and jorts are good things, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this comment finds you, and finds you well.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:59 am
3
Oops Pow Surprise says:
That’s right, playa. Tuck that shit in. Now set your panties laser to “soak.”
August 6th, 2007 at 8:05 am
4
PeteJayhawk says:
Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jort_(apparel)
August 6th, 2007 at 8:05 am
5
Allahver Fist says:
Loving the Starter apparel. Is that a weaved belt? Oh mercy, Dawg’s been done outfitted by the Wal-Mart!
August 6th, 2007 at 8:05 am
6
jon says:
A kiss might not be a contract, but Jorts are a denim-prepared assignation of one’s soul to the home team (provided of course, that the home team is in the SEC)
August 6th, 2007 at 8:10 am
7
omfdg says:
the whole assignation/home team thing reminds of that scene, waint who was it, that scene in Top Gun where …
August 6th, 2007 at 8:16 am
8
Kenny says:
Nice on the Shawshank there Pete.
Gators, I’m told, only wear jorts because they’re innocent. But in Jacksonville in October everybody’s innocent!
World’s Largest Jort Chaffing Party!
(If that is made into a shirt I demand royalties, sir.)
August 6th, 2007 at 8:17 am
9
godawg says:
That pic was obviously taken in Jax where we (considering our record of late) make special attempts to blend in with the natives.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:23 am
10
jon says:
I’ve never even seen Top Gun. Why do you always compare life to that film?
August 6th, 2007 at 8:24 am
11
PSUrob says:
Camo hat and a beeper. They’re the new burberry scarf and blackberry.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:33 am
12
PW says:
#3
Like that guy’s panties laser has any other setting….
August 6th, 2007 at 8:37 am
13
adolf oliver bush says:
c’mon guys, this guy gets at least a few redeeming points for the ray-ban aviators.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:40 am
14
Kenny says:
#10
Because every short, freaky guy with a boyish smile lands the attractive lead woman of vaguely indeterminant accent.
And we all also fly jets.
Duh.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:47 am
15
Rival says:
Obviously a PhotoShop job by a Gator…
Probably a Georgia resident near the Florida border.
Customs can cross cultural and jurisdictional boundaries even without the knowledge or consent of the disparate tribes.
Then before you know it, you’re looking down and “God damn it, I’m wearing jorts!”
August 6th, 2007 at 8:52 am
16
Allahver Fist says:
Jort-Sporting at the Coke Orgy is like a four-G inverted dive into a sea of poontang, with soaklasers barking fire.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:04 am
17
Holly says:
I see no red pants in this picture. Does not compute.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:05 am
18
Scalz1 says:
The jorts were “inverted”.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:14 am
19
Jerkwheat says:
Dammit – I now have less than four weeks to get the satellite with GamePlan package set-up…
August 6th, 2007 at 9:14 am
20
jebushchrist says:
Methinks he should not have gone with the flat front jorts. Hi, sailor!
August 6th, 2007 at 9:37 am
21
Rival says:
Methinks he should not have gone with the flat front jorts. Hi, sailor!
True. Those could put him in a flat spin. Of course, being a Dawgs fan, he hasn’t lost the edge and would be able to correct.
We should probably stop with the Top Gun now…
August 6th, 2007 at 9:46 am
22
Oops Pow Surprise says:
Oh, and sick beeper, “Slim.” How’d they get a picture of these guys without gorgeous, love-starved women draped all over them?!
August 6th, 2007 at 9:47 am
23
Rival says:
I’d also like to point out how responsible the jorts-wearing Dawg fan is:
He is holding a plastic Miller Lite, so that when the beer inevitably slips from his barely-conscious fingers, there will be no need to clean up broken glass.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:53 am
24
gerry dorsey says:
is jorts drinking a pony??? or does he just have really big mitts??
August 6th, 2007 at 9:56 am
25
lanceharbor says:
He’s obviously too close for missles. JortMan needs to lose the sleeves and switch to GUNS.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:04 am
26
Turk182 says:
Jorts are not rolled…
clearly not getting the full fashion points that were available if he had just tried…
had the shirt sleaves been rolled, perhaps they could have met Brandon at Dylan at the Peach Pit for root beers.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:17 am
27
gerry dorsey says:
turk…if you roll the sleeves you can’t see the starter logo. c’mon bro.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:21 am
28
Scalz1 says:
Are the headphones he’s wearing connected to the pager ? Is it an iPAGE ?
August 6th, 2007 at 10:22 am
29
PW says:
The fat guy knows that, after yet another loss to UF, when you see your jorts-wearing buddy drowning in a sea of sadness, you don’t just toss him a life vest, you swim one over to him.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:22 am
30
War Eagle says:
Jorts rock! They’re just as comfortable as jeans, only with the occasional breeze to keep the boys cool. AND they’re like $12 at the Wal-Mart.
Besides, would I have to wear Chorts if I doffed the Jorts?
August 6th, 2007 at 10:25 am
31
MaconDawg says:
The guy is clearly from Brunswick, Thomasville or some other such outpost on the fringes of civilization. Like Britons of the 18th century, we Dawgs do what we can to blend in with the tropical natives. Then we give them smallpox and STD’s.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:51 am
32
Hook'em Tide says:
You screw up this much, just this much, and I’ll have you on a cargo plane flying jean ‘dog’ jorts out of Athens
August 6th, 2007 at 11:04 am
33
Mosby says:
I’m surprised the team color jorts market hasn’t been cornered yet. There’s no doubt in my mind that Walmarts in the state of Georgia could be moving tons of red jorts.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:08 am
34
hailstate says:
Jorts, raybans, tucked-in t-shirt and braided belt…I bet if we pan down, we’ll find Timberland hiking boots. He must shop at EverydayShouldBe1989.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:16 am
35
Judge says:
You laugh at the beeper…but when it goes off….he heads straight away to the ER to do some life-savin’…..
August 6th, 2007 at 11:41 am
36
JoesDeliGatorTail says:
+1 to the jorts wearer for including the braided belt.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:49 am
37
BC97 says:
For the 06 Cocktail Party, we took a count throughout the day – it was actually 6 to 6.
August 6th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
38
Chris says:
The “beeper” is probably a little AM/FM radio with headphones. Lots of folks use them to listen to the radio calls.
August 6th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
39
PW says:
37
6 to 6?!!!
You only saw 12 pairs of jorts at the effing cocktail party? Did you give up counting after 30 seconds?
August 6th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
40
PW says:
I saw 6 pairs of jorts earlier this summer in line at Subway in Gainesville.
August 6th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
41
Native says:
“Hey Jorts ya big STUD!! Take me to bed or lose me ferever!”
August 6th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
42
Kenny says:
One thousand Cocktails for Native!
I am not leaving my Jortman!
August 6th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
43
Scalz1 says:
That pager/beeper thing tells him when to change out out realtree camo overalls and get into jorts.
August 6th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
44
Ltrain says:
My jorts went that way, his jorts went that way, and I said, where’d he go???
August 6th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
45
IronMike says:
For a more complete history of the Jort please see the following:
http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Jorts
August 7th, 2007 at 12:19 am
46
Jorgé the Bass Player says:
Sad.
August 7th, 2007 at 2:31 am
47
tigercpa says:
Good morning gentlemen, the temperature is 100 degrees….
August 7th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
48
tigercpa says:
Good morning gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees….
August 7th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
49
fotodog says:
Even as a Dog fan, I have to admit this is pretty funny stuff (especially the “pony” comment). Nonetheless, we have a hit out for him (provided his buddy doesn’t dunk him in BBQ sauce and eat him first).
August 7th, 2007 at 4:23 pm