DAILY AFFIRMATION: DAY 26

by Orson on Aug 6, 2007 8:39 AM EDT

Today's daily affirmation reminds us that while Florida fans are the alleged deans of Jort University, the pant-ing choice of Sex Panthers everywhere isn't just for Gator fans. Because...

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I saw a guy put on a UGA T-shirt up at my Apt pool in MD yesterday, it made my skin crawl. T-Minus 3 weekends without football. Wooooooo!!!

by Brian on Aug 6, 2007 8:44 AM EDT reply actions

Remember, Orson. Hope and jorts are good things, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this comment finds you, and finds you well.

by PeteJayhawk on Aug 6, 2007 8:59 AM EDT reply actions

That’s right, playa. Tuck that shit in. Now set your panties laser to “soak.”

by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 6, 2007 9:05 AM EDT reply actions

Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jort_(apparel)

by PeteJayhawk on Aug 6, 2007 9:05 AM EDT reply actions

Loving the Starter apparel. Is that a weaved belt? Oh mercy, Dawg’s been done outfitted by the Wal-Mart!

by Allahver Fist on Aug 6, 2007 9:05 AM EDT reply actions

A kiss might not be a contract, but Jorts are a denim-prepared assignation of one’s soul to the home team (provided of course, that the home team is in the SEC)

by jon on Aug 6, 2007 9:10 AM EDT reply actions

the whole assignation/home team thing reminds of that scene, waint who was it, that scene in Top Gun where …

by omfdg on Aug 6, 2007 9:16 AM EDT reply actions

Nice on the Shawshank there Pete.

Gators, I’m told, only wear jorts because they’re innocent. But in Jacksonville in October everybody’s innocent!

World’s Largest Jort Chaffing Party!

(If that is made into a shirt I demand royalties, sir.)

by Kenny on Aug 6, 2007 9:17 AM EDT reply actions

That pic was obviously taken in Jax where we (considering our record of late) make special attempts to blend in with the natives.

by godawg on Aug 6, 2007 9:23 AM EDT reply actions

I’ve never even seen Top Gun. Why do you always compare life to that film?

by jon on Aug 6, 2007 9:24 AM EDT reply actions

Camo hat and a beeper. They’re the new burberry scarf and blackberry.

by PSUrob on Aug 6, 2007 9:33 AM EDT reply actions

Like that guy’s panties laser has any other setting….

by PW on Aug 6, 2007 9:37 AM EDT reply actions

c’mon guys, this guy gets at least a few redeeming points for the ray-ban aviators.

by adolf oliver bush on Aug 6, 2007 9:40 AM EDT reply actions

Because every short, freaky guy with a boyish smile lands the attractive lead woman of vaguely indeterminant accent.

And we all also fly jets.

Duh.

by Kenny on Aug 6, 2007 9:47 AM EDT reply actions

Obviously a PhotoShop job by a Gator…

Probably a Georgia resident near the Florida border.
Customs can cross cultural and jurisdictional boundaries even without the knowledge or consent of the disparate tribes.

Then before you know it, you’re looking down and “God damn it, I’m wearing jorts!”

by Rival on Aug 6, 2007 9:52 AM EDT reply actions

Jort-Sporting at the Coke Orgy is like a four-G inverted dive into a sea of poontang, with soaklasers barking fire.

by Allahver Fist on Aug 6, 2007 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

I see no red pants in this picture. Does not compute.

by Holly on Aug 6, 2007 10:05 AM EDT reply actions

The jorts were “inverted”.

by Scalz1 on Aug 6, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Dammit – I now have less than four weeks to get the satellite with GamePlan package set-up…

by Jerkwheat on Aug 6, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Methinks he should not have gone with the flat front jorts. Hi, sailor!

by jebushchrist on Aug 6, 2007 10:37 AM EDT reply actions

Methinks he should not have gone with the flat front jorts. Hi, sailor!

True. Those could put him in a flat spin. Of course, being a Dawgs fan, he hasn’t lost the edge and would be able to correct.

We should probably stop with the Top Gun now…

by Rival on Aug 6, 2007 10:46 AM EDT reply actions

Oh, and sick beeper, “Slim.” How’d they get a picture of these guys without gorgeous, love-starved women draped all over them?!

by Oops Pow Surprise on Aug 6, 2007 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

I’d also like to point out how responsible the jorts-wearing Dawg fan is:

He is holding a plastic Miller Lite, so that when the beer inevitably slips from his barely-conscious fingers, there will be no need to clean up broken glass.

by Rival on Aug 6, 2007 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

is jorts drinking a pony? or does he just have really big mitts

by gerry dorsey on Aug 6, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions

He’s obviously too close for missles. JortMan needs to lose the sleeves and switch to GUNS.

by lanceharbor on Aug 6, 2007 11:04 AM EDT reply actions

Jorts are not rolled…

clearly not getting the full fashion points that were available if he had just tried…

had the shirt sleaves been rolled, perhaps they could have met Brandon at Dylan at the Peach Pit for root beers.

by Turk182 on Aug 6, 2007 11:17 AM EDT reply actions

turk…if you roll the sleeves you can’t see the starter logo. c’mon bro.

by gerry dorsey on Aug 6, 2007 11:21 AM EDT reply actions

Are the headphones he’s wearing connected to the pager ? Is it an iPAGE ?

by Scalz1 on Aug 6, 2007 11:22 AM EDT reply actions

The fat guy knows that, after yet another loss to UF, when you see your jorts-wearing buddy drowning in a sea of sadness, you don’t just toss him a life vest, you swim one over to him.

by PW on Aug 6, 2007 11:22 AM EDT reply actions

Jorts rock! They’re just as comfortable as jeans, only with the occasional breeze to keep the boys cool. AND they’re like $12 at the Wal-Mart.

Besides, would I have to wear Chorts if I doffed the Jorts?

by War Eagle on Aug 6, 2007 11:25 AM EDT reply actions

The guy is clearly from Brunswick, Thomasville or some other such outpost on the fringes of civilization. Like Britons of the 18th century, we Dawgs do what we can to blend in with the tropical natives. Then we give them smallpox and STD’s.

by MaconDawg on Aug 6, 2007 11:51 AM EDT reply actions

You screw up this much, just this much, and I’ll have you on a cargo plane flying jean ‘dog’ jorts out of Athens

by Hook'em Tide on Aug 6, 2007 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

I’m surprised the team color jorts market hasn’t been cornered yet. There’s no doubt in my mind that Walmarts in the state of Georgia could be moving tons of red jorts.

by Mosby on Aug 6, 2007 12:08 PM EDT reply actions

Jorts, raybans, tucked-in t-shirt and braided belt…I bet if we pan down, we’ll find Timberland hiking boots. He must shop at EverydayShouldBe1989.

by hailstate on Aug 6, 2007 12:16 PM EDT reply actions

You laugh at the beeper…but when it goes off….he heads straight away to the ER to do some life-savin’…..

by Judge on Aug 6, 2007 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

+1 to the jorts wearer for including the braided belt.

by JoesDeliGatorTail on Aug 6, 2007 12:49 PM EDT reply actions

For the 06 Cocktail Party, we took a count throughout the day – it was actually 6 to 6.

by BC97 on Aug 6, 2007 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

The “beeper” is probably a little AM/FM radio with headphones. Lots of folks use them to listen to the radio calls.

by Chris on Aug 6, 2007 1:37 PM EDT reply actions

6 to 6?!!!

You only saw 12 pairs of jorts at the effing cocktail party? Did you give up counting after 30 seconds?

by PW on Aug 6, 2007 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

I saw 6 pairs of jorts earlier this summer in line at Subway in Gainesville.

by PW on Aug 6, 2007 1:45 PM EDT reply actions

“Hey Jorts ya big STUD!! Take me to bed or lose me ferever!”

by Native on Aug 6, 2007 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

One thousand Cocktails for Native!

I am not leaving my Jortman!

by Kenny on Aug 6, 2007 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

That pager/beeper thing tells him when to change out out realtree camo overalls and get into jorts.

by Scalz1 on Aug 6, 2007 2:11 PM EDT reply actions

My jorts went that way, his jorts went that way, and I said, where’d he go???

by Ltrain on Aug 6, 2007 8:02 PM EDT reply actions

For a more complete history of the Jort please see the following:

http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Jorts

by IronMike on Aug 7, 2007 1:19 AM EDT reply actions

Sad.

by Jorgé the Bass Player on Aug 7, 2007 3:31 AM EDT reply actions

Good morning gentlemen, the temperature is 100 degrees….

by tigercpa on Aug 7, 2007 4:31 PM EDT reply actions

Good morning gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees….

by tigercpa on Aug 7, 2007 4:32 PM EDT reply actions

Even as a Dog fan, I have to admit this is pretty funny stuff (especially the “pony” comment). Nonetheless, we have a hit out for him (provided his buddy doesn’t dunk him in BBQ sauce and eat him first).

by fotodog on Aug 7, 2007 5:23 PM EDT reply actions