NYAN BOATENG, SENSITIVE LOVER
by Orson on Aug 1, 2007 10:43 AM EDT
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Mr Stabby feels love, too.
Nyan Boateng was a VHT who flamed out of the Florida program after accomplishing the following things:
1. Causing reporters to guffaw when he claimed he ran a 4.1 40 yard dash.
2. Not outplaying Kenneth Tookes for the fifth spot on the Gators '05 roster.
3. Getting stabbed in the leg by his girlfriend during a lovers' quarrel.
With that esteemed resume, Boateng transferred to Cal, but still made a cameo appearance back in Gainesville for one final hurrah--and what a hurrah it was:
According to Gainesville police Sgt. Chuck Reddick, Boateng attempted to enter the home of his former girlfriend early Thursday. When she refused to let him in, Boateng kicked in the door and entered anyway.
No one will ever love you like I will! NO ONE! A FELONY WILL WIN YOU BACK FOR SURE!!! Boateng has been suspended by Jeff Tedford pending the outcome of the case. If this is the same girlfriend that stabbed him in the leg, then Boateng has been put under the spell of a truly wondrous magic vagina. That's the only possible explanation for this, since if we got stabbed by a woman, we'd...well, we proposed, actually. Call this glass house shattered if you please.
Three points for the burglary, two points for the battery, and one point for the criminal mischief gets Cal six points that mercifully did not end up on Florida's tab.
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Tedford teaches his player not to let anything stand in their way: Interstate travel, dead bolt locks, or restraining orders. This is a marvel in intestinal fortitude, to return to the place you were ran out of, and get back in the headlines.
by Scalz1 on Aug 1, 2007 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
If you dig deeper, Boateng was in the fair city of Gainesville to clear up some civil action…. according to Andy Staples at the Tribune, it was to finalize a divorce filed in June, and a search of the Alachua public records confirms this:
http://www.alachuaclerk.org/pa/pa.urd/pamw2000*o_case_sum?2028001
by rjsplow on Aug 1, 2007 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
sorry about the crappy link- if you cut and paste the whole thing (including the “_case_sum” stuff) then you can check it out~
by rjsplow on Aug 1, 2007 11:19 AM EDT reply actions
“…under the spell of a truly wonderous magic vagina…” can make one do some really odd things, the least of which is property damage and felony assault. My own reaction was …never mind…they might still be looking for me.
by sb on Aug 1, 2007 11:28 AM EDT reply actions
I’m impressed at the tag for stabbing=passion.
Hey, did he kick down the door with the leg that had been stabbed? If so, that’s impressive – and probably quite painful.
by John F on Aug 1, 2007 11:31 AM EDT reply actions
Thank Jeebus you guys won that recruiting battle.
Signed,
JoePa
by immikfefazz on Aug 1, 2007 11:32 AM EDT reply actions
Nyan just wants to be loved…Is that so wrong?
by lanceharbor on Aug 1, 2007 11:40 AM EDT reply actions
“If you’ve never contemplated murder, you’ve never really been in love”
by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 1, 2007 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
I think he’s putting the pussy on a pedestal.
by mlmintampa on Aug 1, 2007 12:09 PM EDT reply actions
#13, that is so true. Also if you knock off more than one person the state can still only take one life away. So in the end you win!
by Anonymous IV on Aug 1, 2007 12:12 PM EDT reply actions
Call this glass house shattered if you please.
Great!
by winstongator on Aug 1, 2007 12:30 PM EDT reply actions
For all that, she better have a wondrous magic bunda too!
by TIGERinATL on Aug 1, 2007 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
Illinois breathes a sigh of relief.
Time is running out in the FC race. Only 4 weekends of mischief left, (and in reality only a week and a half until practice starts). Althought a true champion could find a way to win this one during the week. Who’s it going to be?
This 6-pointer coupled with a few inevitabe late-scoring weed charges would have put Florida in the drivers seat of the FC race.
by Cincy on Aug 1, 2007 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
“Kick in the door, wavin’ the four four,
All you heard was Poppa don’t hit me no more.”
-Christopher Wallace
by Kanu on Aug 1, 2007 1:06 PM EDT reply actions
“…Boateng has been put under the spell of a truly wondrous magic vagina.”
Is this not the story of all heterosexual relationships?
by Aerobab on Aug 1, 2007 1:09 PM EDT reply actions
“Is this not the story of all heterosexual relationships?”
I don’t know, Aerobab, there are some pretty un-magical vaginas out there.
by AllWhoYonder on Aug 1, 2007 1:11 PM EDT reply actions
Ah. I actually haven’t picked up the Phil Steele magazine yet…
[awaiting threats of violence and thrown debris]
by Rival on Aug 1, 2007 1:11 PM EDT reply actions
Trouble about vaginas is…you want them more the farther away you get from them. This would explain the poor choice made by Mr. Boateng.
by Brian on Aug 1, 2007 1:39 PM EDT reply actions
Two points:
Cal ad at the bottom of this thread = classic.
#20, don’t forget that when fall practice starts, that means young, foolish freshmen head to college for the first time, and might get into all sorts of delightful trouble. Possible FC points abound! Abound, I say!
by Rusty on Aug 1, 2007 1:49 PM EDT reply actions
I’m really digging the Mr. Stabby reference. Weird as hell, but his gleefully murderous attitude has a certain charm not seen since Frankenfurter offed Eddie in Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Anyone?
by USCLink on Aug 1, 2007 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
AllWhoYonder…I would posit that all vaginas are magical, some simply have less desireable life support systems…
by sb on Aug 1, 2007 2:22 PM EDT reply actions
Is it wrong that my girlfriend has learned that a woman can get away with justifiable homicide in the 1st and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy in Minnesota? Would anyone else be frightened by this?
by Brewster Crew on Aug 1, 2007 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
That’s the true definition of voodoo punani
by The Last Dragon on Aug 1, 2007 3:55 PM EDT reply actions
Leave it to a fucking SEC transfer to go and mess up Cal’s perfect record!
by Bay Area Bear on Aug 1, 2007 3:55 PM EDT reply actions
Was he a [Name Redacted] recruit? Might explain a few things…..
by MAB on Aug 1, 2007 5:48 PM EDT reply actions
- Would scare the crap out of me.
On a different note. The comments on this site are just as classic as the posts. 1,000 cocktails for all.
by cbs5090 on Aug 1, 2007 10:42 PM EDT reply actions
I saw nyan play high school basketball and can confirm he has the leaping ability of some of the most athletic nba players
For whatever that’s worth
by nba basketball on Aug 2, 2007 9:09 PM EDT reply actions
Everyone of us makes mistakes that we regret later… and anyway we only know half the story… You grow up and move on…. leave the Brotha be…
by Bfriendly on Jul 12, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
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