FULMER CUPDATE 7/31/07:THE HOME STRETCH

This is the stuff every cop dreams about arriving on the scene of: “a roller-rink fracas.” Doesn’t get any sweeter than that.

did Michigan lose points for Butler’s case being dismissed ?

By racking up points through numerous small, stupid, nitpicky misdemeanor offenses rather than going for the long bombs of drug distribution or grand larceny, I like to think that Georgia is employing the Fulmer Cup version of the West Coast offense. Here’s to you, Bill!

a friend of mine was pulled over in Georgia a few years ago for the heinous infraction of “lightbulb over his license plate had burnt out.” Then they accused him of harboring an illegal immigrant because the fucktards thought our friend riding shotgun (of Italian descent, born in Kentucky) was Cuban.

has anyone who drives GA’s interstates with mild regularity NOT been pulled over at least once?

They allow Italians in this country? The Know-Nothings must be alerted! Fetch us our quill, Stanley!

Does this mean that the Big Ten=SEC since they are both fielding 3 teams in the top ten? Or is it just a showcase of the SEC speed that them midwestern, cornfed, white farm boys are slow enough to get caught by belt abusing Krispie Kream faithful.

In my small town in NW ohio, where drinking and driving is the norm (our town drive through sells more beer than the Meijer’s and all other drive through’s Lima. Our town has 800, Lima has appr. 80,000. Thank you) State Dicks will often come through and pull us over for “light bulb out over license plate”, “turn signal on to early/late”, or the always fun "over-the-center line on a 9 foot wide country backroad.

O-

Have all of the Univ. of Minnesota items around the rape indictment been included in the FC standings?

not to mention the Ohio cops who wait on the northern side of the ohio river to arrest people who -gasp- buy beer in kentucky instead of paying Ohio’s fixed state prices.

#4

I had a crew race on the GA / SC border in college. The guys team drove their cars to the race. Here I am in Jasper County, only black guy on the team, 4 white guys in my car and the cop pulls me over for speeding, while I was drving on cruise control BETWEEN two 18 wheelers. The cop asks me out of the car and to search my trunk, which just happened to still have my haloween costume in it ( I was a black clansman before Chappelle even had his show. I dressed one of my teammates like a black panther) While this is happening, his partner is asking my teammates if I’m holding them against their will. 4 college age, 6’2" 240 lbs. rowers who are passengers in my car. The cops were so disgusted by all this progress, they ordered me to appear in court to explain it. Got a lawyer and never went through there again.

I would look for Jim Delany to pay a visit to Moscow, ID (I had to look it up) to begin negotiations for the 12th team in the Big _ immediately. If Michigan would pick up the slack, we’ll rule next year’s Cup.

halloween

Ha…the Vandals..

Other note: Notice that the log jam at the 6th spot is full of very strong national powers.

#5
Orson, 1000 cocktails for having me practically in tears. good thing my officemate isn’t around.

Ah yes, I was pulled over in ATL at a three-way stop for failing to stop at the sign. (behind Willy’s on Howell Mill Rd) The cop was in front of me making a left turn up hill when he was able to spot my alleged crime. At which point he came to a dead stop in the intersection, nearly causing an accident. Then he waved me on by and pulled me over. Took 3 trips to court but he never showed up so I got off OK in the end. At the time, I was 75 feet from my destination—fucking fucker.

Orson, to be fair, the Italian-American gentleman in question was indeed an Anarchist. He threatened to blow up Stone Mountain to get the US out of war with Spain.

Last month, I was stopped by Dekalb County’s finest for having a brake light out, a crime requiring a mandatory court appearance. They gave me a warning, but I lost 4 hours of work time during one of the busiest times of the year for my company.

#8, we’ve only gotten 4 points so far, but I’m hoping Orson will offer us some backdated points when the inevitable accessory/accomplice charges get filed against the cameraman. I’d really like Minnesota to see show up in the Top 10 of any poll.

jon @ #4, you are correct. When I lived just north of Atlanta, I was pulled over often, on the 400 no less and I am not one of those idiots “slip screening” (a la Fletch) through traffic.
The UGA road rage epidemic could be looked at as a positive. How many players or just regular dudes for that matter, do you see get pulled over for “a routine violation” and all hell breaks lose. You people have seen Real Police Videos bla bla bla, over 2/3 of that footage is shot in Georgia somewhere.

NC State entry – http://www.newsobserver.com/sports/college/ncsu/story/651187.html

OK, GA residents, is there any explanation to all these shenanigans beyond the presumed reasons (racism, cronyism, Yankee-baiting)? I never encountered this kind of traffic dismay in Miss or Alabama. maybe Boss Hog just moved to Atanta.

Jmuthaf’nT-

That makes me sick to my stomach. I hope your lawyer scared the living shit out of those hayseed dingleberries.

Questions, Orson, questions… does Georgia get a point for that piddly traffic violation? If so, they would move up from that logjam at 6th.

Is UCLA getting points for the assistant coach?

Also, not so much a question, but there’s Oklahoma State’s Alex Odiari (http://newsok.com/article/3093520) to give Fulmer Cup points to.

Georgia resident here (and former local government employee…no, a good one)…

Answer: Revenue!

Answer 2: When you’re on traffic patrol, you patrol traffic and get to create your own violation thresholds!

Answer 3: What are you going to do about it? We’re the police muthafucka!

I vote that only double digit point gathers belong on the big board.

Okie State LB scores with a fake ID

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2952558

restraining order violation was alleged but he wasn’t arrested for that.

#24-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACUjnJBHIZc

arg #23… beat me to it

Is possession of a pellet gun illegal?

#27

The TASER is a particular favorite of the Fulton County Sherriff Dept, not your average metro cop.

Mo Purify — the sole earner of Nebraska’s tally — had an assault charge dismissed as part of his plea agreement.

http://www.klkntv.com/Global/story.asp?S=6809178

So what’s a DUI and two assault counts worth?

I was in Athens and just inebriated enough for my then girlfriend to pull me out of the Globe and across the street to her car where she commenced to actively establish a romantic liaison in the reclined passenger seat with me providing a supporting role as an upright male citizen. A cop, with flashlight shining directly into my eyes, opened the door and started trying to pull me out while asking the young lady if she desired to be there. She replied in wonderfully loud and colorful language that she did indeed want to remain in my presence because she wasn’t fckin’ finished, dammit. Although I couldn’t see with the light in my eyes, I could smile and the cop walked off with the comment “You’d better smile you son of a bitch.”

Just one of the reasons this Gator loves dawgs…

rival #24, do the fulton county police double as Underwear Gnomes? I expected you to have answer 4: Profit!!!

I’ve been driving from South Florida to the Atlanta area using I-75 for the past 30 years or so and have never been stopped. Of course, I-75 has been under repair (cautions, detours) for that entire time …

Not sure if this has already been tallied at some point, but WSU had an Olineman dismissed for getting a DUI:

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/college_football/20070727-0653-fbc-washingtonstate-roof.html

Aw crap, I broke the comments!

I think that Trey Blackmon (Da Barn) got his eleventy-billionth DUI this past weekend.

I think one should get bonus points for having a coach arrested. I mean, if you are grooming boys into men, this sort of leadership should merit extra points.

has Tray Blackmon of Auburn had even one DUI? Link?

JT, while I’m sorry to see it happen as a South Carolinian, it unfortunately doesn’t completely surprise me. Cops are like all people – some are good, but some are terrible. I’m sorry you had to meet one in the latter column.

As for the Fulmer Cup, I assume everyone at this point is playing for second place and that Northern Colorado has been awarded the championship. If not, those boys should be doing everything they can to move up to Div. I-A (I’m a traditionalist and refuse to call it by any other name) so they can grab themselves a trophy.

Um…. there’s a trophy presentation for this, right? If not, my favorite part of this event is not going to happen, and that saddens me.

Missed two not already mentioned in comments (NC State, Ok. St.,), :

Wisconsin http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=638822

Robert Joseph, nominating for Ellis T. Jones award http://www.dailytexanonline.com/home/news/2007/07/30/TopStories/Linebacker.Charged.With.Driving.While.Intoxicated-2928106.shtml

#41

both of those cases have already been logged and awarded points.

No fair trying to trick Orson into having double-coupon days in the FC race.

#9—-Washington state badges (state patrol, county mounties) sometimes hassle drivers who bought cigarettes at Indian reservations in northern Idaho.

#35—-It’s only a suspension and Roof could return to the school/team in the spring semester. A Wazzu student getting the three-strikes hat trick in regard to alcohol (MIPs/DUIs) is rare.

My bad. I’m only the backup updating guy. Pretty sure this isn’t there though: http://www.contracostatimes.com/colleges/ci_6506525?nclick_check=1

Are points assessed to Florida or Cal?

has anyone who drives GA’s interstates with mild regularity NOT been pulled over at least once?

I did recently on the way to the Variety Playhouse to see Page McConnell. Thankfully, I had just watched the “How to keep a cop from searching your car” video on Youtube- definitely some Mario Kart going on in the 9-3.

Besides, I knew the cop was full of shit when he tried to claim that because I was speeding, that I must be drunk, and therefore he could search my car.

(I tried blockquote html, but it didn’t work)

More Water Balloon fun… this time at Indiana

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2956729

Okla. St. works so hard to get your attention and you clearly are not paying attention. If you keep this ‘head in the sand’ mentality…they are going to have to commit genocide to get some respect ’round here.

-Linebacker, Alex Odiari was in a bar while underage, possessing a fake ID and violated an emergency protection order.

-Linebacker, Chris Colling, high school rape charges pending after 2 attorneys have left D.A.’s office last week.

Jealous that the football program might get all the attention, the basketball program has recently been working hard to keep up.

-Junior Terrel Harris was arrested for trying to use a fake ID in May.
-Sophomore Obi Muonelo was arrested for being underage in a Stillwater bar on June.
-Senior Marcus Dove has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested and charged with driving under the influence.

I guess Eddy left a bigger impression with the basketball program than many expected.

IU’s Blake Powers has to get a nod for throwing a water ballon into the car of an off-duty bloomington police officer

Looks like a ’Horn decided to step up.

Freshman DE Andre Jones has been charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon. That’s pretty damn solid.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/080307dnspoutfblede.d72e5719.html

http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/longhorns/entries/2007/08/02/arrest_warrant_issued_for_longhorn_freshman.html

more horn trouble…

Aside from Jones,
The incident is the fifth involving a Longhorn football player this summer. Two of those arrests involved Joseph, a 19-year-old from Port Arthur.

Joseph was first arrested in June on two counts of burglarizing a vehicle. He was suspended by coach Mack Brown and then announced he was transferring.

Joseph’s second arrest came Friday night on the aggravated robbery charge.

Early the next morning, Longhorn linebacker Sergio Kindle was arrested on a drunken-driving charge.

On June 1, Longhorn defensive end Henry Melton was also arrested on a DWI charge.