DAILY AFFIRMATION: DAY 32

Does that get you ass at Ohio State to be that guy? Not just band girl ass, but legit bunda.

Tuba playas get the Piccolo poonanny…It’s been that way for years.

Little known fact: Maurice Clarett, in addition to everything else, had a tuba in his trunk.

What’s wrong with band girl ass?

By the way, dotting the i is the most OVERRATED tradition in sports. Just stupid…..

Skinny white boy with a tuba? That don’t seem fittin’.

why are the bandsmen in the foreground all grabbing their ankles?

#1, perhaps such is the origin of the porn practice of ‘dotting the eyes’— first you dot the ‘I’ in script Ohio, then you start ‘dotting the eyes’ of coeds.

Last Dragon,
Your just jealous you can’t be marching around in 90 degree heat in heavy black band unis.

#5-

  And what exactly do you think is a great tradition, Last Dragon? I have no allegiance to OSU, since they usually steal our in-state talent or provide us with crappy coaches, but I love Script Ohio. It’s one of the coolest things to see in person in all of college football.

Hey, watch it. First of all, those tubas weigh more like 40-45 pounds, depending on how old they are. The older the heavier.

Second of all, it is possible to get glory as a Gator tuba player by winning Luke Winn’s basketball tournament blog pool and finishing #8 overall on SI.com: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_blogs/ncaa_tourney/2007/2007/04/blog-pool-update-this-is-end.html

#2: You know, I marched for 9 years (4 in high school, 5 at GT) and I never noticed it, but you’re right. The tubas always doinked the piccolos.

And there’s nothing wrong with band girls. Hell, I’m marrying one (in 11 days!).

1. YTD— not to mention in kicking the OSU Tuba player’s ass, 42-17 in NCAA 08.

All the band “traditions” suck.

Except for MY school, that is.

I dare you to keep your composure while a lone trumpeter sounds out the first few notes to “Glory” on Sanford Bridge.

T’aint possible.

41-14, rather.

Stupid keyboard.

I’m not certain, but I think it’s a sousaphone, not a tuba. I’m mildly surprised that an Ohio State fan hasn’t already reamed you good for such a mistake.

Dude, sousaphone.

And they can’t get piccolo ass. There isn’t any.

#14:
Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the stomping of the dogs
We should teach those poor dumb farm boys
They should stick to slopping hogs
When the Gators are triumphant
We will raise a mighty cheer
And we’ll do the same next year!

Any tradition that involves the band is queer. The tradition needs to be created by the athletes – 12th man, Howard’s Rock, etc. Not the dorks running around at halftime when no one is watching.

Wouldn’t say love, but it’s a pretty cool tradition. This being said by a Michigan fan. And, oh, by the way, the UM band did the script Ohio first, when tOSU visited the Big House.

Yes, it is a sousaphone, but most people in the band still call them tubas because it’s easier to say and no one confuses it with “saxophone” when you say it.

Jerry Hinnen is a jackass and a douchebag.

my band’s cooler than your band…..i bet your band can’t do what our band can do…..where the fuck am i??? halftime is for peeing and trying to find more booze so that my hangover doesn’t start to set in prematurely in the fucking third quarter.

I remember this guy from last years OSU-Michigan game. They interviewed him afterwards and you would think he just won the lottery or fot the chance to fuck Gisele. Overrated tradition. End of third quarter + Swamp + “We are the Boys” + Drunken Swaying = Tradition

#14
I always found it ironic that a school that prides itself on its Southern tradition (UGA) would choose a Yankee song (Battle Hymn of the Republic) for one of tis traditional songs.

1. No need to blow a gasket— most of these ‘Band is better than your band’ people pee sitting down anyway, so stadium pissing isn’t in their vocabulary.

Dont do it Chris (#12 ), seriously….

I’ll bet you could fit a midget in that sousaphone – then every day COULD be suck my dick.

1. Given that you were in the band at GT, who caught more of Reggie Ball’s passes— you or Calvin Johnson?

bunch a gawddamn band nerds in this place…

Band Geeks. I mean, if your team makes it to the Sugar Bowl, they get a all expenses paid trip to New Orleans, and unlike the players, they don’t have a curfew. Suckers.

The best part of being in the band is the university paying you to attend road games and bowl games.

That is all.

Well, if “American Pie” is true…I’d hang out with Band Geek Chicks….I liked to be ridden hard and slapped around a bit and called “bitch”

1. You dress up like a Bammer during Iron Bowl week, is what yer saying?

1. hits the nail right on the head.

Band “geek” got me quite a few memorable nights. Daily stipend of cash, no curfew, city full of like-minded football (and in the spring, basketball) fans? Sold.

1. First your school needs to get a real fight song.

Currently you have changed 10 words to the chorus to an already famous song… a chorus which other schools even play at points throughout a game.

Very bush league my friend.

#12: Congrats, but it’s not too late to flee!

I have no dog in that fight, you’re welcome for the set-up….

I do notice that there is little fight in the “dawg”, though….

It’s probably just me, but these daily affirmations are starting to make the season seem so far away. It reminds me of the first time I drove all the way across Texas. After you cross over from La. on I-20, there’s a sign that says: EL PASO 858 MILES. A couple minutes later: EL PASO 856 MILES. Then: EL PASO 850 MILES. I guess they like to remind you just how freaking big the state is, but it really gets on your nerves. I want to just zone out, and suddenly, “Hey! Almost to Dallas! Only 600 miles left!”

Just me? Ok, I’ll just shut up and look at the cows.

The best there is. Period.

…nor do I, Judge. I just enjoy pissing of Bammers :)

And Techies, and Buckeyes. I’ve covered 3 of the 6 BCS conferences in this thread. All that’s left is questioning if Pat White catches or pitches to Slaton, wondering where Pete Carol gets his blow, and if Mangino is going to eat Dan Hawkins whole if the Buffalos beat his Jayhawks.

There. 6 BCS conferences, 6 references.

Georgia fans do understand that “Glory” is to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, don’t they?

Let’s play the SAT game:

Dixie was to the Confederate army what the Battle Hymn of the Republic was to -— army.

First, allow me to say that I respect band people for performing a task that I am neither capable, no musical talent whatsoever, nor interested in performing. Kudos to you guys for putting on what appears to be oppressively hot uniforms and entertaining the crowds during the game and at halftime, even though I head out during halftime at every home (Clemson) game.

As for the “all expenses paid trip with no curfews” to a bowl game, you have to perform during the season. As in, instead of waking up at your discretion after a late Friday night, tailgating, going to the game with “spirits” etc etc etc, you are peforming. Matter of fact, you have to perform in the bowl game, too.

Skinny white boy with a sousaphone makes much more sense – don’t want to be too sore to throw a 20-sided die.

32 days until we get to see a sweaty, fat guy trot out and take a bow after a mind-numbing 8-minute follow-the-leader drill? Culminating in a formation created by the University of Michigan? Yawn.

(oh, I jest. I think Script Ohio is one of the greatest traditions in all of college football, but I also think it’s incredibly boring.)

And I want my MILF Tuesday!

Like others, I just wanted to mention that it is a sousaphone.

Also, Ann Arbor is a whore.

#24

Took a Yankee song and made it better.

To UGA fans, it’s called Glory, Glory.

Ask Elvis and he’ll call it “An American Trilogy”.

Tomato, tomahto.

#35

Please pick a mascot. One mascot. And if you’re a Clemson fan, well, just shut yer trap.

The fun part of college marching band isn’t the marching or the parades – that’s what you do because you have to.

The fun part is leading 90,000+ people in “Jaws,” “Go Gators,” “Orange and Blue,” or any other of the school songs. Back in 2003, the linebackers coach (I forget his name at the moment) ran up to us in the band at the LSU game in the third quarter to tell us to keep it up and that we were inspiring the team. Result? LSU’s only loss during Saban’s national title year.

That’s the kind of stuff that kept me in the band long after marching got old.

#41

What is the “Union” Army? Did I win?

Can my prize be to stop the influx of northern transplants to my fair City of Atlanta?

For all the people in the north who dislike the South, they sure do move down here in droves.

LCIACM-

Columbus is a diseased rapist.

Rival, you digress…

But I am just fine with having two mascots as long as neither one is a lazy, drooling lump of fat like Uga.

@38

The El Paso mileage sign has never ceased to make me laugh. Right before Beaumont, TX. The mileage is so daunting that it makes you want to stop in Houston…..almost.

1. Strippers carrying beer and free money wouldn’t make me want to stop in Houston, and stay.

Visit, maybe. Stay? No.

What I find truly hilarious are the people ripping on the band folks, even though this is an anonymous community.

Hey, I have to make sure my “handle” or whatever they are called, looks “cool and tough,” anyone recall that forward that basically mocked myself and everyone I know, to a bunch of people I have never met. “Band guys are dorks!”

Yes, you folks have sustained your “rep” in mythical EDSBS land.

Dotting the “I” isn’t as stupid as “Hang on Snoopy”

TRADITION FIGHT!!! TRADITION FIGHT!!!!

no hair pulling or scratching each other’s eyes out.

i can’t believe my eyes….people publicly trying to convince me how awesome being in band is.

Tiger,

You’re still mad at Uga taking a swipe at Robert Baker, aren’t you?

#48

If we get the Yankees to leave, will they take the gays with them?

42. +1 for the D&D plug.

This article and its corresponding comments are proof that we are still over a month away from something of interest.

However I would like to see the inaugural edition of MILF Tuesday…

Rival, you don’t have to worry about me showing up. I made a trip to Atlanta once. That was enough. There’s plenty of other areas in the south that I’ll show up and carpetbag before I move to Atlanta, including Houston.

Actually, that’s one good point for Uga. He knows a perp when he sees one.

#57

NO! They bring in money and clean up the bad neighborhoods.

I can tell that the season is getting close; I feel the incessant need to comment, and the urge to talk smack about anyone and everyone under the sun. Heck, I’m almost ready to put on some pads and go hit someone. Real Football can’t get here fast enough— this CFL stuff I’m having to watch now just isn’t doing the trick

#60

Great. Come back and visit our strip clubs when you can.

They are heartily endorsed by Pacman Jones.

Houston over Atlanta? You must not have left in Fulton County during your visit.

#55. Exactly correct. This thread should have stopped with one post saying something to the effect of band’s not being part of the game, not affecting the score, and not even mattering to a real “sports” fan.

1. I was actually starting to pay attention to the Georgia Force. That’s one hell of a football jones.

I’m still trying to figure out how the Rutgers band gets away with calling themselves “The Pride of New Jersey”. I mean, I know NJ doesn’t have much to be proud off, but even we can do better than that. (We had Howard in as a I-AA opponent last year. The football and band competitions were both brutal, and everyone won something.)

Actually,
Im pretty sure U-M spelled out Ohio, but did not perform the first SCRIPT Ohio, the difference being the U-M band (in 1934 or 36) walked from different points to spell out Ohio, and tOSU plays follow the leader throughout the spelling, obviously harder, and running the risk of catching some tuba in the side of the head or some other brass instrument in the ass. Once again, I am pretty sure of this, not 100%.

#64,

I plan on it. I need to make some more southern football trips.

I’d offer you an invite to the fine Minneapolis strip clubs, but they are not endorsed by Nebraska OL Lydon Murtha.

1. - it’s better than Miami’s “Band of the Hour” name.

#66

Tell that to Stanford.

Was it a tuba or sousaphone player who got flattened on that play? Apparently it’s an important distinction.

#28: If coaches on the sidelines were eligible receivers, Reggie would have had a completion pct. way over 70%.

#41: Trust me, the band got PLENTY of “spirits” before, during, and after the game. We just had to make an effort to be at least a little sneaky about it, especially during the game. Marching while non-verbal hammered = not a fun experience. Directors generally frown on puking while on the field.

#69

You’re correct.

#73

Are you thinking of the trombone player from the end of that Cal – Stanford game?

1. and #57,

This has been widely discussed before on here, but those northerners we’re sending you down south are just our cast-offs.

Trombone it is. Call me fucktard.

#30
heh… been there, done that… as good as advertised

Blazin, it’s “Hang On, Sloopy.” Which isn’t necessarily better but at least it’s accurate.

Second, I guess we’re leaving the HBCUs out of this band discussion. Skinny white kids marching in formation? Eh. Ass-shaking color guard + plus hyperkinetic drum major leading 500 musicians in the Humpty Dance? That’s a fucking band.

Also, I’d like to voice my support for MILF Tuesdays.

Cincy, #30—Ditto. Nothing like taking UF money and converting it into brightly colored vomit.

My band is better than your band
We’ve got more songs than a song convention
Sing it

I miss mclusky.

1. .. That could be true, after a little research, there’s no mention of the marching, just the script. And, I stand corrected, UM did the script Ohio in C-bus, not the Big House, circa 1932.
   http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2005/11/best-damn-copycats-in-land.html

1. - Are you bitter because when you “played” football in high school, the band spent more time on the field than you did?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in a decade of helping run a fan site, it’s that a disproportionate number of your school’s hardcore sports fans/message board posters are likely to be current or former band members. Remember, those folks volunteer for the job, always stay ‘til the end of the game no matter how crappy the weather or the product on the field, and travel to more road games than most of us. If they were in it only for the music, they’d probably stick to some orchestral ensemble.

Boys who play brass in marching bands tend to have strong cheek and jaw muscles, firm, flexible lips that are used to getting a workout, enormous lung capacity and phenomenal stamina. Plus they are used to following directions and crave applause.

Yeah, it was really tough being the girlfriend of a band geek. When I think of all the sleep I’ve missed out on over the years…

#66. Well – we were speaking from a fan’s point of view. But if you have to go there….you must have been one of the uncoordinated, marshmallow soft band geeks that I speak of. I’m quite comfortable with the sucess I had in football throughout my life. And I no doubt would skull drag you on the field then or now.

I lost some respect for the band when I found out from someone that they don’t make cuts, as long as you can play.

I think TCOAN just ended this argument pretty decisively.

Re #85 – You forgot to mention that trumpet players are taught to “double tongue” or “flutter tongue.” That can prove useful from time to time.

sigh

True! Though we see no need for an oppositional argument. Band members are there in college by and large for one reason: football. If fandom isn’t wearing a clunky, hell-hot uniform and cheering even when you’re down by 40, then nothing is.

TCOAN just owned this particular niche of EDSBS.

The Historically Black College bands whup ass. And I mean WHUP. There are people out there who think that their script ohio or award winning band from Norman or whatever are awesome. These people are fools.

Out of the rest, the Golden Band from Tigerland and Pregame make Ohio State and any other band tradition look like cat pooh, runny, smelly and no substance.

The band is indeed halftime filler though. My Dad and I go for a walk, discussing the band. My Mom sits there and watches the band. But the band, at least in the case of LSU, certainly has a place in the pre and post game festivities. If you don’t believe that, come check out the aforementioned Pregame.

That’s the upside of being a Tiger fan in Baton Rouge. Plenty of LSU stuff with a heaping side of the Often Imitated, Never Duplicated, Human Jukebox of Southern University at games or parades.

My Dad and I go for a walk, discussing the GAME. Not band. Jeez. Preview would be nice feature Orson. Maybe you can pare down the siren budget or something.

1. - skull drag? Dude, how badass is that? I bet you’ve got sticker in the rear window of your Camaro that reads “The Last Dragon”.

1. YTD -
   Did y’all steal that cheer from Tech, or am I just unaware of the history?

And RE #53, everyone be sure to consult the Cool and Tough Man’s Guide to Life.

#87:

Many marching bands do, in fact, cut members. I know for a fact Texas does. I think Georgia Tech is in the minority in that they don’t cut members. The more serious programs (read: schools with real music departments) have high standards of musicianship to hold themselves to.

Georgia Tech has no such high standard. There’s no music major at the school, and very few (like 4 or 5 marching) music minors. All of the GT band members are there because without a creative outlet in band, we’d probably hang ourselves. The school puts enough pressure on us, so we don’t tolerate pressure from the directors. We actively try to keep from getting too technical or too serious about the whole thing.

Case in point: We were doing spirit band (run around and play for tailgaters) before a home game last year, and someone asked one of the saxophones to play “Happy Birthday” for a friend. He butchered it and everyone at the tailgate was like, “Dude, what happened?”. His response: “Hey, I’m an engineer, not a musician.” Everyone laughed and then gave the guy a beer.

My favorite black college band moment was watching Tuskegee spell out the word “pimp” on the field to the tune of 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P”. Surreal.

Actually, all woodwind and brass players can perform both multiple and flutter tonguing it is not exclusive to just trumpet players. Also for some band members it is required that you be in marching band because of the music scholarship you are awarded.

TBDBITL is the largest all brass marching band in the entire free world.

Also the only band smart enough to play the theme song from Titanic during half-time of ass-whipping.

1. ..
   Did they play it at halftime of the National Championship game last year ?

#94. I bet you don’t have your green card Paco!

People get cut from marching bands, but it’s a marching band, not the philharmonic. You’re not going to get cut because you can’t play the Carnival Of Venice.

Wow #94, never has a douche bag been so eloquent…

100 cocktails to you, Rob, for mentioning those evil black dots.

Carnival of Venice was a more difficult challenge than anything I saw over a very long football career. I would have preferred trying to tackle Thomas Tapeh again over playing that.

I dunno…band chicks have been treating me just fine. And the added perk of getting to know the amazingly gorgeous song girls really well sure as hell doesn’t hurt. Or playing with Earth Wind and Fire. Or seeing 4th and 9 live. Or not remembering the entire first half of 66-19 because i was so trashed from the night before.

All yall who rip on the band are missing out. You tell me another way a 5’ 5" nerd like me gets to hang out with SI supermodels and song girls.

1. - Earlier you said….
   “you must have been one of the uncoordinated, marshmallow soft band geeks that I speak of.”
   followed by….
   “I bet you don’t have your green card”

Are you suggesting that I illegally marched in the band? Truth be told, they don’t check for green cards. I suppose that could be a security risk considering all the skull dragging going on. So tell me, Last Dragon, do you have a poster of Jean-Claude Van Damme on your wall?

One question, though. If they are the so-called “Best Damn Band in the Land,” how come they’re only the fourth-best band in the Big Ten?

#105,

well, you COULD start dealing cocaine.

1. — brass playing band chicks also have powerful chops and excellent lung capacity, or at least so I’ve been told.

DevilGrad is right, few fans are more loyal, rowdy, or committed to their team than current and former members of the marching band.

Plus, they are generally the ones who pull off the best pranks against their rivals, like when the SMU Mustang Band planted winter rye in the shape of its trademark Diamond M during a half time performance at TCU, a plan which didn’t “sprout” until months later: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3842/3484/1600/smugrass.jpg

That’s awesome.

108

Good call…I mean, I am in South Central, Los Angeles, right?

#111,

That you are. And no matter what you and your fellow Trojans may say about the Indiana cornfield where I go to school, at least I can walk 200 yards from campus without encountering a junkyard protected by razor wire, in addition to all the other delightful treasures of urban life associated with such a place. Also, you gonna be in the band coming to South Bend on the 20th?

“at least I can walk 200 yards from campus without encountering a junkyard protected by razor wire,”

Yeah, but 300 yards is a different story…

(Unless the neighborhood south of ND’s campus has come up dramatically in the past decade, I’m not sure you have much ground to talk trash here… that said, I’ve never seen so many door-to-door stereo and blue jeans salesmen in my life… and working on the weekends, too!)

South Bend — Still conveniently located halfway between Gary and Elkhart.

#106. I’ve already paid too much attention to you band dorks today to continue this. Have fun….

112

Hell yes! As an aside, north of campus its fine. Going south becomse a great place to pick up chicks…er, prostitutes…so we’ve got that going for us.

I knew somebody who faked his way onto the USC marching band without being able to play his instrument at all. His future wife was both a very good musician and hot, so I’m guessing she got it done somehow.

I’m pumped