UCLA WR COACH ARRESTED FOR BURGLARY

Burning twistgut shits. Wonder if some fried coke is in order here.

I make more than most Americans, yet, I think Ill go try to steal some shit, yea that’s a good move, I think.

The poor fuck didn’t even make it to fall practice, only getting hired in March.

As far as I’m concerned, the best part of this is that there is a rumour that a player was arrested as well. Now that’s how you build up team morale!

James -

If a player was involved, this could all be innocent. Maybe they were just getting ready for the season with some Plasma-TV Power Lifts. In that case it would only be a secondary violation, not a felony.

OK .. is now too early to request Bunda on Friday ?
I think the “Bunda-liga” is a stellar idea, FWIW.

Dumbass will probably hire Larry Drake for a lawya.

Sam -

Nah, they’re actually trying to max out. – rear projection and CRT TV’s. Norwalk isn’t the type of area where there’s a lot of plasma TV’s. Of course, you’re right about it being a violation. Regardless of the type of “lift,” coaches aren’t supposed to be supervising this time of year.

“Karl Dorrell should just claim a case of the burning twistgut shits and stay home. "

a la phat phil a few years back???

• gets popcorn **

How the hell do you score it for Fulmer Cup purposes? Do coaches get bonus points?

Perhaps he wants to coach at the U and needed to improve his resume.

How much is a burglary worth in the Fulmer Cup if it’s committed by a coach?

I guess Haley was right and Les was wrong … there are some quality things they can do in the PAC-10.

Now let’s just imagine your favorite SEC coach doing this … I pick Orgeron, for no other reason than someone here should transcribe his police interrogation statement for our amusement.

a coach. a FUCKING COACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is like Christmas. I can’t imagine a better story or a better program for it to happen to.

Coaches should get a x10 Fulmer Cup bonus.

The Orgeron would just pick up the house and shake the shit out of it until the booty he wanted fell out onto the ground.
As if you could arrest him anyway. We don’t have the technology to confine such a man.

Because it hasn’t been said:

Fire Karl Dorrell

What in the hell?

The Orgeron would revolutionize prison rape.

Damn, just when I was coming to self-report in hopes of Fulmer Cup Leniancy…

With media day coming up tomorrow, some west coast reporters just got an early christmas present. Fuck!!!

Yes, #18, I’d pity the guards.

Oh PW, how you make me cringe at the thought of Orgeron at Parchman Farm.

Just proof that the words “revolutionize” and “prison” are always fun when used in concert.

I don’t really know where to start… maybe just with some quiet chuckling during the “presumption of innocence” stage, followed by howls (howls!) of derisive laughter (Bruce) should this be the real deal…

Nick Saban saw that shit….still no time for it, though.

Honestly,

I can’t think of any scandal that could be more embarrassing. Point shaving? Stupid kids. Booster payments? Egomaniacal rich people, but its been done? Academic scandals? Please.

A drunken coach who hadn’t signed his contract yet frolicking with a stripper as his and her sexual banter is a play on a school cheer?

OK, so there is at lease one more embarrassing incident.

It’s funny that the retards at Bruins Nation compile the lists of USC’s supposed misbehavior, but it is consistantly UCLA that pulls ahead in Fullmer Cup points. And the lack of character at UCLA goes back well before Dorell. From the football players using handicapped parking, to the player leaving the girl in the wrecked SUV when he was drunk, to this, there is a long-term pattern.

Karma’s a bitch, aint it?

I immediately thought of this Butters line:

Ohhh, I don’t know about this, fellas. It says right here on the Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering Playset: “Not for actual breaking and entering. B-breaking and entering is a cr-riime.”

But then again, I always figured Pete to have his lawn embedded with Claymores. Or have at least one hidden panel with a giant boulder behind it, or punji sticks under a rug on a suspiciously easy escape path.

I guess I’m going to have to see ROTLA again, and soon. Have they replaced all the guns with walkie-talkies yet?

This is something completely off topic but I thought I should share it. My girlfriend was in San Francisco on business this week and as she was walking around, there was a plane up above pulling a banner. On the banner… all of the spoilers for the new Harry Potter book. Bravo to the man who invested his well earned money to crush the dreams of kids and nerds alike…

That’s fantastic. 100 Cocktails to Mr. Banner

25. At least BN is not writing this act off as “boys being boys” or “dude had a bad week”. Embarassing as it is, both our programs have a recent history of bad acts (admittedly, a coach charged with a felony takes things to a whole another, fucked up level).

Hey the guy was trying to offset the high cost of living in Cali.

Plasma TVs? bah! In the olden days, when football players were real men, they used to lift stereo equipment – a much better test of balance, strength and endurance.

LA Geography Lesson Dept:

The Idiot ucla coach was caught burglarizing a home in Norwalk…..NORWALK, NORWALK?

For those of you from other parts of the US, including those from “Parts Unknown”, Norwalk is a poor city in LA County consisting mostly of working class immigrants.

With Bel-Air located spitting distance from ucla, what are these idiots doing robbing a home from a poor city, about 15 miles or so away? They should have been at that home giving those poor working class types some stuff instead of taking their hard earned measly stuff.

Just goes to show you…..there is no class at ucla….whereas USC has angels and humanitarians and babes with legs as long as Ms. Keibler’s.

Jebus-

Confining Coach Zero would be like chaining Mongo in Blazing Saddles. Utterly futile.

Grand Larceny Part 2 – USC Style Dept, or

Reverse Fulmer Cup Points Deps:

USC’s Matt Leinart is currently trying to be ripped of by his ex-girlfriend. She wants more than $30,000 per month for “child support”. The TMZ link is below. Amazing.

Are there “Reverse Fulmer Cup Points” when someone is in the process of being ripped off?

http://www.tmz.com/2007/07/24/baby-mama-forcing-qb-out-of-the-pocket/#continuedcontents

dude was a coach at Crenshaw HS before coming to UCLA. Coming from there, Norwalk may be Bel Air in comparison… or Encino at least.

1. .. it’s Dump Dorrell … but thanks for drawing the obvious conclusion.

@12

The Orgeron is awaiting Mr. Scott’s resume’.

With Bel-Air located spitting distance from ucla, what are these idiots doing robbing a home from a poor city, about 15 miles or so away?

Because someone would call the cops in Bel-Air 10 seconds after seeing more than one black man near their house. You don’t go commit crimes where you’ve got a better chance of being picked off by the po-po prior to getting your hands on the loot. (Yarr.)

I heard this was a standard training session for the coach and some UCLA players. It is actually a speed, strength, and endurance drill. It goes like this. Break in, grab a handful of someone else’s shit. Split the scene quickly (Speed Drill) lugging the loot (Strength) and when the cops begin their pursuit the trainee’s need to find a suitable pace that will allow them to outrun any pesky officers of the law (Endurance.)

Being the first we’ve ever heard about this, it shows that UCLA’s wide outs will be a bit slow footed this year. Press coverage at the line of scrimage should bring the Bruins’ passing game to a halt this season.

I don’t think the article said what was “being lifted”, but one would think that Norwalk would have a different type of product in the home that might be more valuable than a tv. Would that up it to x20 Fulmer points?

#33, 36 AND 39:

He’s a coach at “westwood high”. ’nuf said

University of Coaches Looting Apartments

SKLM, he’s the father, and he can plan on writing that check. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but the law in California is pretty cut-and-dried when it comes to child support.

He’s “only” guaranteed $14 million of a six-year deal, so let’s start there. Break that down monthly, and you get to just south of $200,000 a month. I can see how a judge would have little choice but to look at the tables and come up with $30,000 for the kid’s support. And that’s just from the base. The actual figure will factor in endorsement income and everything else.

After all, this is a place where you can get tagged for extra child support because your ex-wife — who has since remarried — is about to have a kid, can’t work for a stretch, and will have another mouth to feed.

Matt-Matt might as well suck up now, because he is SOL. Shoulda worn a Durex, dude…

Bel-Air isn’t literally within spitting distance of UCLA. If you had decent arm strength you could probably throw a football from one to the other.

I think Kanye West said it best:

I know somebody payin’ child support for one of his kids
His baby momma’s car & crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai…

Shoulda plan B’ed it Matt.

Some teachers try to learn from students as well as teach them. It seems Mr Scott learned the wrong things while working at Crenshaw.

Not a Legal Begal Me-Self But….Dept:

PJ (#44): The worst part of all this is that Matt’s “kid” looks nothing like him. The picture from the local newspaper shows a cute baby that looks nothing like Leinart. I think the article says that he is trying to establish paternity. That would be something if he is paying “P-Diddy” money for a kid that is not his, since she got knocked up soon after the breakup.

I am not an attorney, nor play one on TV, but it seems that $30,000+ per month is ridicuruss. If it were his wife, maybe, but a floozy, dingbat girlfriend that at best was his ballroom dance partner his senior year? Looks like it is going to cost Leinart a lot of dough for hanging out one more year macking it up at USC, with the Hollywood slime balls (Paris, Tara, Lindsey, Will Wonderbrarrama….) such as loss of 1st pick money, loss of endorsements no where near Reggie Bush, and a big monthly vagi-mony expense.

http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2007/jul/22/no-headline—-scfccameron22clgfc/

#43—-One hundred cocktails to you, sir.

(U)nable to ©arry (L)arge (A)ppliances

(U)nable to ©onceal (L)arge (A)ppliances

If the coach is truly in on it, I say the Cup resides in Westwood !

This is just another example of UCLA trying to pull any stunt they can to grab a share of the LA/national media spotlight. I have to applaud them though, this is pretty much the only thing they could have done to get national coverage for their football program.

Plus, I agree with Orson, +100 to number 43. I’m going to be using that one as much as I can.

oc phil,

Don’t forget Billy Don Jackson; three or four year letterman despite being illiterate.

Humanitarian,

Didn’t think anyone could make my smile wider. I was wrong.

As an alum, I am not sure what pisses me off more: A UCLA coach possibly having committed a felony, or that less than 6 weeks before the season opener, a coach would take the afternoon off (he was arrested at 12:30PM – fucking broad daylight) to drive 29 miles in order to break into a house with a couple of buddies.

If this is the sort of work ethic that assistant coaches have under Dorrell, can you blame us for wanting him gone?

Jeez, this link makes me miss all those hot, local, SoCal reporters. Stacey Butler, Leslie Miller, Wendy Burch (who is more of a sassy vixen as opposed to a hottie), Vera Jimenez, Jackie Johnson, et. al.

Linda Al-vuhh-rezz. Just kidding SKLM and oc phil.

Double Fulmer Cup points for coaches, please!

U! (clap clap clap)
C! (clap clap clap)
L! (clap clap clap)
A! (clap clap clap)

U-C-L-A! Heist! Heist! Heist!

IM IN YOUR HOUS, ROBBIN YOUR TVS

Yeah, I’m with #33 on this one — Carroll would be nowhere near Norwalk, and I wonder why Scott couldn’t at least find a third-or-fourth string RB or WR to pull it off for him.

From lifting recruits to lifting electronics. Small steps.

1. FOR YOU

http://img264.imageshack.us/img264/1605/scottstealan2.jpg

+100 cocktails to #58 and #60…nicely done.

#43, #57, #58 combined to make me laugh more than I remember ever doing on the ebays and internets.

Somebody needs to whip up some shirts of #43 quick. I had a student the other day wear a shirt that I hadn’t seen before (Don’t ’ruin your life) but #43 blows that away.

1. & #46 I learned the hard way how fucked up California’s child support laws are. Even though I have my kids 50% of the time and the ex got the house that doubled in value during the course of the divorce, I still have to write out a check every month to the adulterous bitch. And even though her boyfriend moved in a couple of weeks after I was out of there his income never entered the calculations at all.

1. was invented by Washington fans

(U)niversity that (S)ucks ©ock