FULMER CUPDATE: INDIANA PLAYERS LACK EXIT PLAN
by Orson on Jul 20, 2007 8:26 AM EDT
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PrintTwo Indiana football players and one University of Indianapolis footballer didn't have the exact fare ready for a cab driver who took them home from the nightclub district of Indianapolis early Sunday morning. Fortunately, they had an exit plan: give the driver an address close to their actual house, run out of the cab claiming "they needed some rest," have one of them leave $8.00, and then skip out on the tab completely. (HT: Tomek.)
Sad for you, fare-allergics: the suburban Greenwood police department has very little to do on a Saturday night. Were this Atlanta, the responding officer would tell you he had a squad car full of trannie hookers stabbing themselves with their high heels to take in, and that like Nick Saban, he didn't have time for this shit. The Greenwood police called in backup, and after search of the neighborhood saw two men "running through the woods" near a golf course.
Somewhere in all of this the police found the football players at an aunt's house, got them to come out of the house, and get us all to the best part of the story, where offensive lineman Sean Edmundson fails a late-night math test.
The officer told the three men to come outside and they complied. Edmundson told the officer he had paid his share and the officer adviced (sic) him that $8.00 did not add up to 1/3 of the $39.00 fare.
Math-tastic! All three wre arrested and taken to jail for the night on charges of theft, which get Indiana three Fulmer Cup points: two for the pair of theft charges, and one for sucking at math even we can do, a truly damnable crime.
No, you may not wear this shirt.
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Maybe dude was in the middle, ya know, riding the hump, $8 of $39 could be construed as his 1/3.
University of Indianapolis has a football team? Huh.
by drogue on Jul 20, 2007 8:59 AM EDT reply actions
Heh, they didn’t even intend to pay because most cabs have a credit card scanner now, and/or they coulda hit up an ATM. Gee if they were going to wake up the Aunt, they might as well have just asked her to pick them up.
by Brian on Jul 20, 2007 9:29 AM EDT reply actions
The officer called for BACKUP!!!! Some real police work he can be proud of. I mean beat your chest in the krispe kreme proud. The kids didnt even try to pay in weed or anything.
by tzubear on Jul 20, 2007 9:38 AM EDT reply actions
There might be song that can come out of that story. A song that rocks but is smooth. And maybe it has sort of populist tinge to it like the sound of a fiddle.
by blazin on Jul 20, 2007 9:41 AM EDT reply actions
This is an outrage! The only equally egregious act in recent memory was Dorian Munroe’s removal of a boot from his car.
by JoesDeliGatorTail on Jul 20, 2007 9:46 AM EDT reply actions
#7
skiiing??? that’s called “riding bitch.”
by gerry dorsey on Jul 20, 2007 9:54 AM EDT reply actions
Nick Saban not having time for shit has become this blog’s “DY-NO-MITE.” It has appeared in roughly 95% of the threads since Saban uttered those immortal words. Oftentimes it comes out of nowhere, like when Orson honors a Civil War general on Mustache Wednesday and someone says “Nick Saban doesn’t have time for secession” or “Did you know the Battle of Gettysburg lasted 3 days? Nick Saban wouldn’t have had time for that shit.”
by PW on Jul 20, 2007 10:15 AM EDT reply actions
FYI…University of Indianapolis is a division 2 school on the south side of the city (I lived up the street from it for about a year after I graduated college and moved to Indy). Their nickname is the Greyhounds. Nice campus in a rapidly decaying part of town.
by KrilDog on Jul 20, 2007 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
Sir —
Since only two of the three cab-fare skaters were IU players, I believe only two FC points are in order.
More generally, if this is all the better IU can do in keeping up with the Big Ten, it’s no wonder they’re a second division team.
by DevilGrad on Jul 20, 2007 10:23 AM EDT reply actions
DG—
It’s one point a piece for each player, plus the bad math bonus point for a total of three.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 20, 2007 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
How amusing that in talking about bad math, DevilGrad does a little bad math of his own. You, sir, have been pwnx0r3d.
by PeteJayhawk on Jul 20, 2007 10:34 AM EDT reply actions
Nice one psugirl! They probably missed the red light challenge.
by BobTyDavieham on Jul 20, 2007 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
I don’t know what’s funnier here, the bad math, or the fact that they thought they could get from downtown to frickin’ Greenwood for eight bucks in the first place.
Like most cities where cabs are scarce, a taxi in Indy is ridiculously expensive, and certainly three locals would know it. (I once spent something like 15 bucks on a less-than-two-mile cab ride there ten years ago and learned my lesson evermore).
As for the U. of Indianapolis, they actually have a pretty good baseball team and have sent a few players on to MLB. They changed the school’s name back in the late 80s, because the college’s former name, Indiana Central, sounded too much like a high school.
by Papa Lou BSU on Jul 20, 2007 10:41 AM EDT reply actions
“Their nickname is the Greyhounds.”
I guess the Greyhound should have taken the bus.
by Daniel on Jul 20, 2007 11:35 AM EDT reply actions
20- No point, really. I guess I’m just upset that references to purple drank are woefully lacking.
by PW on Jul 20, 2007 1:35 PM EDT reply actions
You can never have enough references to purple drank. Same with midgets in suitcases and the phrase, “shooting guns in the air like an Iraqi wedding.”
by Out of Conference on Jul 20, 2007 1:48 PM EDT reply actions
Re #15: I’ll now retreat to polish the trophy that goes with my own bad math bonus point. Carry on, sir.
by DevilGrad on Jul 20, 2007 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
Re #16: And I hereby resolve to pay relatively less attention to my conference calls and more attention to EDSBS when ahem “multi-tasking.”
by DevilGrad on Jul 20, 2007 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
- 7: It’s “skiing” because you are in the position to hold 2 poles…
by Meega on Jul 20, 2007 2:27 PM EDT reply actions
Also, is there anywhere I can see the updated Fulmer Cup scoreboard?
by Meega on Jul 20, 2007 2:30 PM EDT reply actions
Greyhounds? Once again, I’ll say this: if your team’s mascot has a chance at winning Westminster, it probably sucks.
by MCab on Jul 20, 2007 7:07 PM EDT reply actions
Clearly, the BigTen’s lack of speed hurts them again.
by Expat Ohioan on Jul 20, 2007 9:19 PM EDT reply actions
As a former Bus Town hack, I can say that the lack of fares-and cabs- in Columbus or Indy- coupled with the abundance of folks eager not to pay for they ride (dawg) provide myriad reasons for people like me to get that ass back to school.
And maybe take s’mo writing courses. Sorry, everyone.
by Jorgé the Bass Player on Jul 20, 2007 11:30 PM EDT reply actions
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