We continue our futile effort to put together a coherent top 25. Enjoy parts 1-3 here, and parts 4-6 here.
Our guest columnist assisting us today will be your neighborhood pharmacist.
7. Florida. A fair rating for our Most Favored Nation, we think, since by placing them at seven we avoid the hacky default #2 pick for the returning national champion replacing a quarterback and nine starters on defense.
Wait…let that bleed for a bit there Nine starters on defense. But that’s the same situation Ohio State had coming into this season!, you say, clutching certainty to your chest. Discard reason, and the fact that Ohio State’s defense faced a tightassed Texas offense in their game in Austin and a Michigan team that burned up substantial yardage on them as their only substantial offensive challenges. Case dismissed there, and no, Mr. Waterston, you may not appeal.
But I had a really, really good point!
So the defense will be not only porous throughout the secondary and along the defensive line, but it will look different in terms of scheme, as well. Last season the Gator D could roll Reggie Nelson up top and creep the strong safety down toward the line in what we’ll call a Cover 1 and a Half–that’s how much ground Nelson covered on his own and how good the corners were last year at evaporating potential deep threats.
This year will see more of a straight Cover 2 because incoming starter Kyle Jackson is, at his worst, is an accelerant for getting burned deep. You may remember his work from the 2005 Alabama and LSU games, where at times he resembled Manny Ramirezy trying in vain to track down a wandering pop fly caught in the wind. His presence in the starting lineup alone is screaming-fantod-worthy.
The offense? Tebow, Caldwell, Murphy, Ingram, Harvin, incoming freshmen of astonishing speed like Dionte Thompson, a veteran and increasingly deep offensive line…this may, in the end, resemble Meyer’s Utah teams more than either of his Florida models, because we’ll be playing WAC-ball this year.
Your local pharmacist says: Don’t hyperventilate a bit too much there on the defense, unless you’re fond of terbutaline inhalers! Ha, that a pharmacist’s joke, there. Jackson’s had two years of study, the linebacking corps may be better, and Tony Joiner’s ready to dish out injuries from the safety spot you couldn’t treat with just a standard round of anti-inflammatories! It’s not as bad back there as you expect.
And I noticed that new Valtrex prescription you brought in. You may think I don’t judge…but I do, you whore you. Unclean! UNCLEAN!!!
I don’t judge. I just point and laugh, and then judge, Herp-boy.
8. Oklahoma. WHEEEEE! Who needs a quarterback? (more…)
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