Here we were, all ready to tack Oklahoma State up as this year’s pip of a Big 12 team, the one that goes 9-3 and beats a few luminaries along the way, when a potential starting receiver slips while lifting a ridiculous amount of weight and sends a few lumbar vertebrae shooting across the gym.


Back injury: an interactive feature starring you, a lot of weight, and pills whose names end in -done.

We noticed the story in passing this weekend, but were perhaps to distracted by the awesomeness of going to a Mastodon concert to really take in just how nasty Woods’ injury truly was. From NewsOK.com:

It’s uncertain whether Woods will play football again after a freak accident in the weight room. But it’s encouraging the sophomore wide receiver has had feeling in his legs and was released from intensive care on Sunday.

Great Tamurlane’s nutsack! What the hell was he lifting? A Coke machine made of Govermentium? Chunks of solid granite, or their human equivalent in weight if not consistency, conference rival coach Mark Mangino? Woods went from “freak weight room injury” to “may never play again” over the weekend, spending the weekend in intensive care before undergoing three and a half hours of back surgery to repair the blasted bones in his back. He’s still in the hospital, but is expected to be released in the next couple of days.

The Cowboys still have plenty of talent left at wideout, including the large and very difficult to defend Adarius Bowman (1181 yards, 60 rec, 12 tds, and an amazing natural origami practitioner.) One thing they may not have is the clean and jerk as part of their workout routine any more–we’d be a few slipped discs that this is the exercise that got Woods into the hospital.

He wouldn’t be the only one to get injured doing the clean and jerk:

Petrificus totalus! Like all Youtube videos showing grave injury, we have to assume he’s fine. Or completely paralyzed. One of the two, actually.