FRIDAY ROPA VIEJA: ODDS ARE NOT GOOD
The last spittlings of things we should have used this week, but instead turn into tasty old clothes for Friday afternoon:
So…smooth… We can’t stop watching Yacht Rock. We’re just addicted to the smooth and can’t stop keeping the fire.
Fuck you Loggins! Your shitty music makes me puke. Must buy white shorts and boat shoes ASAP…
Sylvester Croom reads to a room full of schoolchildren. The children, frighteningly enough, wear no ear protection in the video, proving that Mississippi does not care about its children’s future or hearing.
Vegas can’t set a college football line to save its life, according to, um…Vegas.
UF mega-recruit John Brantley has no idea what EDSBS is. We’re actually glad to see him focusing on football, and not reading our site. If we found out a potential starter at Florida was a big fan, we’d become very, very concerned.
Now the punter? Hop on this digital bandwagon, pardner. That’s an EDSBS reader.
Eastern Washington’s Mascot gets his feathery posterior kicked in a bar in what a local paper dubbed “a man-on-eagle fracas.” Like the sight of a wrecking ball careening down a street full of parked cars, seeing this would be the sine-wave peak of my existence.
We’re cordially inviting anyone and everyone who can to participate in the EDSBS Marathon at Disney World January 14th with us. They don’t know we’re sponsoring it, actually, since the site still says “Disney World Marathon” and all, but they’re change that shortly, we imagine. You’ve got five months to help us represent Football Sparta, and help us kick non-finishers in the group down Tom Sawyer’s Wishing Well in Frontierland.
Take care, and enjoy your weekend.
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1
Allahver Fist says:
Croom’s boom gives Pete Townshend diarrhea.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
2
Whitey says:
Ooh…. the finishers medal is TOP SECRET….
C’mon, if EDSBS is involved it clearly has SOS on the front and a fine, fine South American Bunda… where else… on the back.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
3
Halleck T. says:
Orson- Get your dick out of your heart. Do you even know when the kids in the street are listening to? Disco motherfucker! Turn up the power!
Thanks for killing what little remained of my afternoon productivity.
July 13th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
4
rjsplow says:
“In news that is surely not unrelated, the Washington State University police announced today that they will begin carrying stun guns while on patrol, which may well be an attempt to protect themselves from Butch the Cougar”
::rjsplow spewing diet cherry vanilla cream dr pepper all over his firm’s brand-spanking new computer::
July 13th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
5
Out of Conference says:
Damn, better soften the bass before clicking on the Croom link. I think I heard two ladies down the hall just have volcanic orgasms when I listened to it.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
6
Holly says:
Get your dick out of your heart.
That’s a line from EDSBS Live’s closing song, right?
July 13th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
7
BDoc says:
More like Chris Leak? Uh oh.
And the Disney Marathon? First, $105 can buy a lot of vodka. Second, the only way I’m going to be at Epcot at 4:00 a.m. is if I drank around the world the day before, and passed out in the backseat of that uber-ghey Electric Car of The Future ride. But yeah I’ll think about it, though I haven’t done much competitive running since high school.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
8
kleph says:
i said it before and i’ll say it again. RESPECT THE DISTANCE!. remember, phidippides died.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
9
Wilbur says:
More like Chris Leak? Uh oh.
I feel sorry for Florida fans.
Don’t worry too much about Croom’s voice…when A-weighted, the decibel levels approach zero.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
10
MCab says:
Disney Marathon? Sure, let me pack my dwarf in my sootcase.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
11
Brewster Crew says:
26.2 miles is a long way to run. Could I get the UF defensive line to volunteer to give me some incentive to run faster and further? Maybe they could turn it into a relay.
I’ve come to realize that outside of inept waitresses, Houston isn’t that bad in the right areas.
July 13th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
12
MCab says:
The UF defensive line could only help you in the first mile or so. That would be fine enough for me.
July 13th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
13
Jack says:
You’re a sentimental fool, Orson.
July 13th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
14
Anonymous IV says:
Coach Croom is already working on recruiting the classes of 2017 through 2022.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
15
Anonymous IV says:
Kleph, as distance runner I respect you and the distance. By the way congratulations on surviving. But Orson if we really want to honor Sparta we should run the Spartathlon which is 152 miles from Athens to Sparta. Now if we are really badass, or just plain crazy, the race to survive is the Badwater ultramarathon which is 135 miles through Death Valley during the month of July.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
16
John F says:
Yacht Rock is amazing. Thank you for making me aware of it.
Episode 5 with Michael Jackson was glorious. Go! Go! Toto! Go!
July 13th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
17
jakldawg says:
I was going to post some smarmy, self-detrimental comment about Croom’s storytime, but the Yacht Rock thing totally derailed my train of thought. Yikes.
July 13th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
18
Harris says:
Now this “marathon” does this actually involve, ya know, running? Cause I’ll be happy to eat barbecue and drink bourbon with you cats. I’ll even throw on a pair of jorts, but I have one rock-solid, non-negotiable rule about running, “Only when fucking chased.”
July 13th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
19
white-boned demon says:
Fuck yeah. I ran Disney last year and I’ll be looking for you this year. Its one of the only times you can piss in the woods on Disney property without threat of being taken to the underground drunk tank. And it was amazing to see the reduction in Ohio State garb from race day to post-BCS the next night.
July 14th, 2007 at 9:00 am
20
bama_buck says:
Good Lord!
Yacht Rock is hilarous!
Thanks for the link.
July 14th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
21
kleph says:
dude, those death valley runners are flat out insane. and not in a good way. that race is so brutal that hallucinating during the run is common. i think being that one in 1,000 that finishing a marathon is sufficent.
of course, those wishing to run the “goofy” – both the marathon and the half marathon on the next day – are out of luck since the half marathon is now full. but there are still openings for the full 26.2 miler. details aqui.
i’m doing the bridge marathon in sydney, australia in september. given my injuries suffered in last january’s effort, i don’t think three months is sufficent to prepare for another 26.2 miler. i’m set for the P.F. Chang’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona Half-Marathon on the same day as the disney race so i’ll be feeling your pain.
July 15th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
22
jebushchrist says:
Is that at a photo studio? Because if it is, that’s fucking awesome. I need to see the rest of the roll where he’s casting a glance over his shoulder all coquettish or when he’s posing with his typewriter.
July 15th, 2007 at 5:44 pm