ONE MORE THING: BUY STOCK IN STEELE.
EDSBS Live. Tuesday. 7:30 p.m.
Phil. Steele.
Note: buy Phil new t-shirt.
You are not ready.
July 13, 2007
FRIDAY ROPA VIEJA: ODDS ARE NOT GOOD
The last spittlings of things we should have used this week, but instead turn into tasty old clothes for Friday afternoon:
So…smooth… We can’t stop watching Yacht Rock. We’re just addicted to the smooth and can’t stop keeping the fire.
Fuck you Loggins! Your shitty music makes me puke. Must buy white shorts and boat shoes ASAP…
Sylvester Croom reads to a room full of schoolchildren. The children, frighteningly enough, wear no ear protection in the video, proving that Mississippi does not care about its children’s future or hearing.
Vegas can’t set a college football line to save its life, according to, um…Vegas.
UF mega-recruit John Brantley has no idea what EDSBS is. We’re actually glad to see him focusing on football, and not reading our site. If we found out a potential starter at Florida was a big fan, we’d become very, very concerned.
Now the punter? Hop on this digital bandwagon, pardner. That’s an EDSBS reader.
Eastern Washington’s Mascot gets his feathery posterior kicked in a bar in what a local paper dubbed “a man-on-eagle fracas.” Like the sight of a wrecking ball careening down a street full of parked cars, seeing this would be the sine-wave peak of my existence.
We’re cordially inviting anyone and everyone who can to participate in the EDSBS Marathon at Disney World January 14th with us. They don’t know we’re sponsoring it, actually, since the site still says “Disney World Marathon” and all, but they’re change that shortly, we imagine. You’ve got five months to help us represent Football Sparta, and help us kick non-finishers in the group down Tom Sawyer’s Wishing Well in Frontierland.
Take care, and enjoy your weekend.
,
THE NIGHT THE ORANGE BOWL CAUGHT FIRE
The Orange Bowl’s been rotting at the seams for years, so much so that a leak in the roof caused a short circuit in 1991 that then caused a small fire in the broadcast booth during the Miami/Nebraska Orange Bowl.
The NBC team had to switch to the Japanese feed, which luckily was not turned to teacher/student bondage porn at the time. You can hear the Japanese announcers for a second:
“And the smells-like-butter rapist gives the ball to smells-like-butter rapist number two…Miami, Japanese listeners, is full of cocaine! Cheap and affordable cocaine! I have consumed piles of it in between using my crazily overvalued yen to pay for fat-buttocked prostitutes! Invest now!”
Then Gayle Gardner and Paul Maguire gamely attempt to keep up with the grainy footage from the studio, with Gayle asking if Paul could help out with translating the Japanese. The only shame is that Dick Enberg is not shown running from the booth in flames, since we agree with Quentin Tarentino that every film needs a man on fire running through the background of at least one shot. Director’s commentary tracks for Kill Bill represent! That’s something a Miami crowd would definitely clap like mad trained seals for, dear reader.
FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: RETURN OF THE BUNDA
We’ve deviated from what made Friday Cheesecake great: bunda. You like the bunda, we like the bunda…the whole world loves the bunda.
We return in force with a fresh crop this week, especially necessary for Stranko since he did attend a Morissey concert last night, and likely needs a dose of raw heterosexuality to counterbalance the bi/curious vibe from the show.
First, Ms. Reef, whoever that is:
And second, bunda that’s work-safe, but likely not work advisable after the jump.
DAILY AFFIRMATION: DAY 50
Survival is a matter of ingenuity, preparation, and psychology. Remember, you may have to drink your own urine, or eat maggots off a dead deer, or even dirty up your new iPhone to survive, you sad, pathetic iDork.
But if you do this…you will survive. And that’s the name of the game. And if you don’t like it…GO PLAY INTRAMURALS, BROTHER!!! Go play intramurals.
Picture corrected courtesy of Red Devil EA, who gets 100 COCKTAILS for his effort.
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