WE OBJECT: AL GROH MERELY SUCKS

Sly Croom turns all of your radios to the Steve Harvey show

He who Croomed Coach Redacted and Coach Shula earned his keep in my book.

Was the Miss. State loss the the university of Maine under the Sly Croom watch? I could look it up but it’s more fun to remind everyone how an SEC school lost to Maine. Go Black Bears!

Croom did indeed preside over the loss to the Black Bears of Maine

and Maine is not a particularly good I-AA team, for what that’s worth

If Al Groh doesn’t make it, tell his wife he said… “Hello.”

Live Free or Don’t!

Bears will always maul Bulldogs. Bears are much larger.

somewhere the orgeron is flipping over cars with joy.

#8

The Orgeron has never experienced joy. He’s flipping those cars over because they had secrets about him.

Tommy Bowden is in church right now thanking baby Jesus for not making the top two.

Pointed this out to Ian from Sexy Results a while back, feel like it bears repeating here:

Sky-high expectations at the start of his reign? Check.

The grueling five-win first season that still contained one or two nice upsets, followed immediately by a rise to near-greatness, followed by a slow but steady decline?

Players who are terrific on National Signing Day and terrific on Draft Day, yet never manage to distinguish themselves in between? Check.

Oscar the Grouch attitude toward fans and media alike? Check.

Congratulations, Virginia, you’ve hired . . . Jim Donnan!

Who Cares? Dept:

When ranking the WORST coach in college football America, it seems to me, that coaches of Mickey Mouse teams, like Ole Miss, Miss State, Temple, etc., should not even be included. Those teams are bad and like the poor, will always be with us.

The WORST coach label should be reserved for coaches who are at universities that should be thriving because of competitive advantages, such as local talent pool, university resources, fan base, blah, blah, blah, but under-perform big time, such as our favorite “Name Redacted” coach when he was a Gator.

I guess it’s not directly on topic, but it’s a good story anyway…

One of Groh’s sons is currently in law school at UVA. He has a reputation for carrying on like he’s kind of a big deal, and people know him. Because being the coach’s kid is a really big deal, I guess.

Anyway, one night near the end of last semester, he got in an argument with a girl at the bar where all the law students hang out. It got pretty loud, and eventually, you could hear them reasonably clearly. I have no idea how it came up, but he said, “Oh, yeah? Well people care about my dad.” She looked at him and shot back, “People only care about your dad because he doesn’t know how to do his goddamn job.” Then she turned around and walked away, leaving him there, mouth agape.

“Ole Miss….Those teams are bad and like the poor, will always be with us.”

Sir! We prefer ‘runts’. Thank you.

Wahoo-Law,

I know Matt Groh (from law school), and you could not be more wrong in your description of him. I’ve never met a more humble and unassuming guy. It’s a damn shame you can go on a national website and anonymously post this kind of baseless garbage about a guy who has done nothing to insert himself into the public eye and nothing to deserve this kind of criticism. Damn shame, and not exactly in the “Wahoo Law” spirit I remember from my days there.

Al Groh looks like the kind of guy that sets his coffee thermos on top of his Buick in the morning, gets in, and happily drives away, only to stop a block away and go back and pick it up. I bet he does that a lot.

i’m not sure i get it…..but i’m laughing my ass off.

@ Wahoo-Law:
1. I don’t know Matt Groh personally – so I don’t have any way of refuting your story – but as you admit, there’s a lot of context missing here. RIP Logan Young is right: the guy is pretty unassuming day-to-day on grounds. Even if it’s true and was as bad as it sounds, it’s an isolated incident.

2. Not entirely your fault, but “the bar where all the law students hang out” nearly made my eyes bleed. It makes our school sound even more like a sad nerdy frat than it actually is. That a few dozen people hang out there does not speak for the other 1000 of us (I prefer the Virginian and Coupe’s, myself).

UVa has the worst fight song. Set to that New Years song, it’s just about coma inducing. Orson, if what you said about him is true, then he’s a perfect fit.

Wahoo Law,

I don’t know where you get your info, but you need to get a damn clue.

As RIP Logan Young indicated, you couldn’t be more wrong about Matt Groh (I also know him from law school). He’s the furthest thing from arrogant, and I’ve never once heard him drop names or otherwise “carry on like he’s kind of a big deal.” In fact, I’ve personally witnessed several situations in which it would’ve been in Matt’s self-interest to tell someone who he is and yet he has invariably refrained from doing so.

While I’m fully confident that your “story” is an utter fabrication—or, at best, a gross misrepresentation—I remain confused as to what it is you find remarkable about an individual feeling compelled to defend his own father when someone is bashing him.

I realize that you’re simply the prototypical douchebag who resents the hell out of those individuals who have other shit on the ball in addition to being intelligent, but you really should think twice before you come on a public forum and take shots at someone who’s never asked to be a public figure in any way.

You’re a piss-poor representative of an outstanding institution.

I love the UVA smack. All of the arrogance of Bammers with the tradition of FCCJ.

Just shut up UVA fan this is the most anyone has talked about you in ten years.

@ Willet: “All the arrogance of Bammers…”

Seriously?

There’s arrogance in spades around here, but it never wears jorts. We don’t think we’ve won a dozen MNCs, we just throw flaming piles of cash at the prospect of a division title and a top-five Director’s Cup finish. Then we get drunk.

Charlottesville is a nice place, for what it’s worth. And if it weren’t for UVa, I wouldn’t have had the experience of watching the Gamecocks fumble away a game (the sexy six butterfingers moments) in ’02.

Willett, that doesn’t even make sense.

Where the hell was the mustache of the day?

At Mississippi State, Croom is now referred to as “Punts from Thirty” referencing the UGA game where Sly chose to punt from the Dawg’s own 30 yd line in the 4th quarter of a close game. Of course we only netted 10 yards.

Other Croom inventions:
The timeout followed by a delay of game penalty.
The play action sack.
The reverse to a “possession receiver.”

Sylvester,
If you want to be the man, you gotta cheat the man.

RE: # 15 “It’s a damn shame you can go on a national website and anonymously post this kind of baseless garbage about a guy who has done nothing to insert himself into the public eye and nothing to deserve this kind of criticism.”

now just hold it right there, buster! i’ll have you know this is an INTER-national website and damned proud of it.

Is it not possible that Matt Groh is a pretty good guy, but once said something arrogant and stupid in a drunken bar argument? I think we’ve all been there to some degree or another.

Perhaps, Pete. It’s even more possible that a dipshit that willingly identifies himself as “Wahoo Law” (because being in law student is a really big deal, I guess) has passed on some story he heard fourth-hand, ripped it completely from its context, and posted it anonymously on the internet because he still struggles with acne.

Perhaps, Pete. It’s even more possible that a dipshit that willingly identifies himself as “Wahoo Law” (because being in law school is a really big deal, I guess) has passed on some story he heard fourth-hand, ripped it completely from its context, and posted it anonymously on the internet because he still struggles with acne.

Re #19, UVA’s official fight song might suck, but they have an alternative fight song of sorts that starts off “From Rugby Road to Vinegar Hill, we’re gonna get drunk tonight,” and from what I understand from my dad (Col 1972, Med ‘76), it’s sort of a student tradition that progressively raunchier versions of the song are passed down through the ages. Apparently there’s one version that even begins “There once was a twat from Agnes Scott,” and that’s as much as I care to remember about that one.

In 2 years, when Illinois gets a good head coach, they’ll be awesome thanks to Mr. Redacted’s recruiting.

1. - Since it mentions Rugby, that sounds like a winna.

Sly Croom will always be okay in my book.

I hope to enjoy having him around the way the rest of the SEC enjoyed having Shula around.

Maybe Bama can hire Croom to be team chaplain when State shitcans him next year.

I was away from the intertubes for a few days, so I didn’t get a chance to make an entry in the tear-inducing thread…and if I do it now in that place, noone will ever read it, and, by god, it needs to be read: The Iron Giant. I watched it with my kids, 2 and 3 at the time, and my 3-year-old daughter said: “Are you ok, daddy?” Which, of course, made me bawl even harder. You’re a hard-hearted son of a bitch if the end of that movie doesn’t get you. And if a football game’s ever made you cry; well, you’re fucked in the head – but in a GOOD way.

Excepting, of course, football games you actually played in.

The one thing I’ve learned from this discussion is not to fuck with Matt Groh.

As a MSU grad, I’m amazed that we actually won three games a year, considering the train wreck Sly was left with.

If he does not win 5-6 this year, then I’m in agreement with the board’s consensus. We have decent to good receivers, one of the best RBs in the SEC and improvement across the board. A healthy QB wouldn’t hurt, too. But it’s hard to throw when you’re on your aiss within 2 seconds of the snap.

But worse than da coachO? No way, Jose.

Matt Groh had sex with my wife on our wedding night.

Dear Orson and Stranko- Please do not combine Cheesecake Friday and Moustache Wednesday into a single entry.

We can debate the best/worst coaches for eternity on here…but there’s one thing that can’t be debated…

Four. More. Days.

FYI word went out last night on the Pappy O’Daniel Flower Hour that this year Croom will be recruiting more cowbell.

Matt Groh kicks puppies and hates America.

SKLM #12 With all due respect you usually have well thought out, knowledgeable posts. #12 was not one of them. I grant that you likely know a lot about football in Southern California and in the Pac-10, and you previously demonstrated some semblance of knowledge and great humor about the SEC, but to say that MIss St and Ole Miss should be in the same category as Temple in terms of "local talent pool, university resources, fan base, blah, blah, blah, " misses the mark. That’s just it- Ole Miss and MSU have lots of resources, a large rabid fan base, and have access to the one of the rishest talent pools in the coutnry within their own state and within a 2-3 state radius. Croom and The Orgeron should be called out for failing to achieve given the facilities, fan base, and recruiting grounds they have access to as part of their programs. That being said, you comparison to Temple is on the mark with regards to recent accomplishments.

Didn’t mean to bash you by any means.

I do however mean to bash you. Go To Hell SKLM, Go To Hell.

Who would of thought that both of Matt Groh’s friends would view the site? Unless of course, it is actually Matt Groh…

2 things

1) Virginia people have to lamest mascot around. The Wahoo? Sweet, a fish that can drink its own weight. I lost all respect for any UVa grad who refers to that mascot in a positive light. Childish

2) Auburn, who wanted to claim themselves national champs, paid off FSU to cancel the game between them that was to be the first Bowden Bowl when Terry was the head coach. That, and the lack of any sort of academic virute, make me lose respect for that school.

Nick Saban and I do not have time for this crap.

1. - That’s phenomenal that the ‘cool’ UVA alternate fight song is ripping off Georgia Tech Band inside joke songs. Well played indeed. Why would UVA even be discussing a school 400 miles away?

“A twiddly twat from Agnes Scott went out with a guy from Tech
He brought her to the Varsity, and taught her how to neck
He filled her full of whiskey, he filled her full of beer
And now she is the mother of a bastard engineer.”

Rugby Road apparently began as a parody of Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech (hence the same tune) but took on a whole life of its own.

I once saw a page online with dozens of verses each making fun of different schools, typically as raunchily as possible and often talking about plowing whatever school’s women. I can’t find it now, which is pissing me off.

Wooderson

You can always go down the road to Blacksburg and play with the castrated turkey

@ Wahoo_Law:

1) Probably not true (at least given my own admittedly limited interaction with the guy—he seems like a good person).

2) Even if it is true, not cool.

Wooderson — the official UVa mascot is the Cavalier. It is lamer than the Wahoo, though.

#26,

Not to nitpick, but “the delay of game penalty following a timeout” gambit was invented by Bob Davie, and creamed and buffed with a fine chamois by his successor. Variations on this move include “the false start by your left guard following a timeout” and “the unsuccessful trick play following a timeout that the entire stadium and TV audience saw coming because you just called a fucking timeout.”

Not that I’m bitter.

Check That, Dept:

1. & 47: OOC and Eric:

I wrote my comment quickly, and should have edited it before submitting it that day.

The intent was not to beat up on Miss State and Ole Miss. Ole Miss’ The Orgeron is a former USC coach and a great character. And, Miss State should be given some sort of credit for giving the “Black Man” a chance, especially in the Deep South.

The intent was to point out that to be a great coach you need great players. In football, you can’t teach height nor speed. Miss State and Ole Miss have a very hard time getting a significant number of great players. (I think Lester the Molester Miles has first crack at top local talent, and even LSU cannot keep all great talent home.) So, no matter what coach you put in there, they will always have a hard time winning, especially in the SEC.

I just do not remember the last time Miss State or Ole Miss ended the year in the top 10, or won a significant bowl game.

I was going to put in place of Ole Miss and Miss State other teams, but thought they already get enough abuse each year.

Next time, I will try to temper my comments, and, Eric, the bashing is somewhat deserved.

Miss State has played in the SECCG a couple of times.

One of the biggest problems for MSU and OM is that so much of the local talent can’t gain eligibility.

Ole Miss, Miss State Football History Dept.

Here are some Ole Miss and Miss State football history facts, from Wikipedia, so you know it must be TRUE:

Miss State:

1998/1999: MSU won the SEC Western Division Championship and lost to Tenn. They played in the Cotton Bowl against Texas and lost the game 38-11. It was the school’s first New Year’s bowl appearance since the 1940 Orange Bowl. 1999 MSU finished 10-2 with a #12 final ranking. That is the best record and highest final ranking of any Division 1 team in Mississippi in the past 30 years.

Ole Miss:

In its 114-year history, the Ole Miss football program has claimed three national championships (1959, 1960 and 1962), six Southeastern Conference titles (1947, 1954, 1955, 1960, 1962, and 1963), and one SEC Western Division title (2003).

So, both schools have had little to crow about during the last 30 to 50 years or so, which I think, makes my point about how difficult it is to win in these schools against current SEC top dog competition.

Wahoo_Law:

I have to echo what your other critics have said. In my limited interaction with Matt Groh, he seems to be a fine guy. And even if this is true, why spread it around here?

SKLM – point taken- Plus, you emphasize that the Cocks are/were even shittier – they don’t even have the kind of highlights your pal wiki gave you about the crooked letter- crooked letter-i schools.

I am a UVA grad, class of 85. Watched George Welsh build a football program out of thin air…..

I now have watched an arrogant man with a distorted view of college football tear apart what we labored to build in 19 years…..

I have the second printing of Groh MUST Go!! tee-shirts in the works!

@#32: She was probably a lesbian anyway.