This week’s big board includes the mysterious and possibly large score made by UTEP this week, represented by question marks. As with the question mark boxes in Super Mario 3, hit it with your head and see what happens! You may turn into a flying raccoon, grow to twice your normal size, or get the special Gallon of PCP bonus.

The addenda, errata, and apologies follow below:

Notes:

Arkansas State falls from the big board due to the dismissal of all charges against players following a ROOOOOOOOOOLLLL BOUNCE! roller skating fracas. We can’t find a link, presumably because the Arkansas court system is clogged solid with cases involving FOIA requests for Houston Nutt’s cell phone records. Should someone find one, please send it or way hyah?

UTEP’s got serious points coming based on the involvement of several players in a bar brawl so big it could have come straight out of a John Ford Western. (Haymakers for everyone!) Police arrived at the scene early Sunday morning to what they described as “a large fight,” and began arresting anything that hadn’t already been thrown into a wagon wheel chandelier, tossed down the length of the bar, or punched into the watering trough by a burly cowpoke. The impressive list of charges follows:

Isaiah Carter, 17, a freshman linebacker from Converse, Texas, was charged with public intoxication; Damon Cromartie, 20, a sophomore defensive back from Riverside, Calif., was charged with disorderly conduct; Tufick Shadrawy, 20, a sophomore wide receiver from Arlington, was charged with assault on a public servant, attempt to take weapon from peace officer and interference with public duties; Brandon Thigpen, 17, a freshman defensive back from Moreno Valley, Calif., was charged with public intoxication; and Brian Wilkins, 20, a sophomore linebacker from Tustin, Calif., was charged with assault on public servant, resisting arrest, search or transport and interference with public duties.

That’s looking to be somewhere in the neighborhood of a powerful 12-14 point surge, proving once again that Mike Price’s teams know how to score points in a hurry. Points pending difficult differential equations needed to calculate properly.

USF RB Mike Ford keeps USF’s ever-growing profile on the swell in the Fulmer Cup, as well, earning himself a contempt of court arrest for ignoring three outstanding warrants, which sounds pretty contemptuous to us. One warrant? That’s mere disdain. Two warrants constitutes snootiness. Three? Contempt, sirrah. One point for USF, who earns it but can’t make it onto this year’s diversified and competitive board.