New Mexico State wide receiver A.J. Harris penalized for an alleged illegal hands to the face infraction in Las Cruces on Sunday night–the hands being his, and the face belonging to that of his ex-girlfriend. We don’t know what kind of a commie state they’re living in over in New Mexico, but here in Georgia exes are allowed to slap each other ’til they’re the color of cooked shrimp. It’s a matter of constitutional law here, and by constitution we mean the three objects that make up Georgia’s actual code of laws: Lewis Grizzard’s Shoot Low Boys - They’re Riding Shetland Ponies, a copy of Drivin’ and Cryin’s Mystery Road, and a magic eight ball.


Seriously. It helps make the laws here.

In the less civilized state of New Mexico, slapping your ex gets you battery charges, which means three Fulmer Cup points for the Aggies. Fortunately, A.J. Harris is not Muslim, which means there will be no problems for him with Mumme when and if he returns to the Aggies locker room.