FULMER CUP: NEW MEXICO STATE
by Orson on Jul 10, 2007 9:53 AM EDT
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PrintNew Mexico State wide receiver A.J. Harris penalized for an alleged illegal hands to the face infraction in Las Cruces on Sunday night--the hands being his, and the face belonging to that of his ex-girlfriend. We don't know what kind of a commie state they're living in over in New Mexico, but here in Georgia exes are allowed to slap each other 'til they're the color of cooked shrimp. It's a matter of constitutional law here, and by constitution we mean the three objects that make up Georgia's actual code of laws: Lewis Grizzard's Shoot Low Boys - They're Riding Shetland Ponies, a copy of Drivin' and Cryin's Mystery Road, and a magic eight ball.
Seriously. It helps make the laws here.
In the less civilized state of New Mexico, slapping your ex gets you battery charges, which means three Fulmer Cup points for the Aggies. Fortunately, A.J. Harris is not Muslim, which means there will be no problems for him with Mumme when and if he returns to the Aggies locker room.
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Ripping on Lewis Grizzard, the late, great, Lewis Grizzard?
EDSBS is dead to me. DEAD!
by Coop on Jul 10, 2007 10:00 AM EDT reply actions
What was Grizzard’s dog name? I seem to remember he chased squirrels alot…Grizzard was funny as hell, and some of the stuff he wrote on NOW made me laugh so hard my nose bled..
by CapstoneAlum on Jul 10, 2007 10:03 AM EDT reply actions
We would never rip on Lewis. We’re saying his writings are the legal basis of many of the laws here, actually.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 10, 2007 10:04 AM EDT reply actions
While I can certainly live with the insult/s to the great state of Georgia, I smell a backhanded compliment.
Regardless, carry on…
by Coop on Jul 10, 2007 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
Catfish, seen 
here in an editorial cartoon greeting Lewis at the Pearly Gates.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 10, 2007 10:09 AM EDT reply actions
I’m going straight to hell, just like my mamma said.
by Unhappy Monkey on Jul 10, 2007 10:13 AM EDT reply actions
My little league baseball coach was Grizzard’s roommate at UGA – had some good stories.
If I knew that buying Mystery Road years ago would afford Kevin Kinney to play “Rockin’ In The Free World” everywhere he goes, I would have made a different choice.
by Allahver Fist on Jul 10, 2007 10:15 AM EDT reply actions
dammit, I came to make a Straight To Hell reference and find myself beaten to it already. Well played Unhappy Monkey (whom clearly grew up just west of the tracks)
by Jerkwheat on Jul 10, 2007 10:25 AM EDT reply actions
As one of the roughly 4 gajillion frat boys turned lawyer in the state, I can vouch for Orson on this one. The Department of Tourism headquarters even has the lyrics to “Honeysuckle Blue” etched over the door like something from Dante’s Inferno.
by MaconDawg on Jul 10, 2007 10:26 AM EDT reply actions
Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
by lanceharbor on Jul 10, 2007 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
Holding me to hold me back, as my spelling of mama clearly evidnces
by Unhappy Monkey on Jul 10, 2007 10:41 AM EDT reply actions
So could we say that AJ’s Ex is “Scarred but Smarter”?
by Dave(not that one, the other one) on Jul 10, 2007 10:44 AM EDT reply actions
I went ‘round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
EDSBSMD
by drogue on Jul 10, 2007 10:48 AM EDT reply actions
Lanceharbor, you are a bloody peasant. Shut up and give tribute.
by rusty on Jul 10, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions
I guess you’re going to have to park your Volvo somewhere else.
by Ltrain on Jul 10, 2007 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
I would comment, but I’m late for work again, my boss is waiting for me, and today she’s wearing pink to slip it in my paycheck for me.
(God almighty do I feel old. Is that album really almost 20 years old?)
by Donk In A Box on Jul 10, 2007 12:00 PM EDT reply actions
Man, it is moments like this that I love living in Atlanta on the weekends… Best basis for a set of laws I have heard so far
by Jonathan on Jul 10, 2007 1:28 PM EDT reply actions
Well don’t the fucking whisper tame the lion.
Donk – we’re all fucking old, dude. You didn’t have to say that album was 20 years old, though, you’re no good ‘cause you’re running without love.
by Out of Conference on Jul 10, 2007 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
“50 bucks and a suitcase steered me clear.”
No, seriously. My girl just kicked me to the curb.
by DirkDawggler on Jul 10, 2007 7:47 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah, the Yankees are absent in this thread.
They’re looking on their map for Mystery Road and wonderin’ who is supposed to be drivin’ and cryin’ at the same time.
Smoke!
by NewAZTiger on Jul 10, 2007 8:56 PM EDT reply actions
#22
A yankee here. Some of us know enough about Drivin’ and Cryin’ to know it’s Kevn Kinney, not Kevin. Thanks. Great band, great album.
by mhentz on Jul 11, 2007 9:00 AM EDT reply actions
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