CHIZIK-NICKELS FLOOD IOWA CURRENCY MARKET

by Orson on Jul 10, 2007 12:35 PM EDT

Without coaching a game yet, Gene Chizik has caused a frenzy in global currency markets unseen since the advent of Chiang Kai-Shek's Golden Yuan: the Chizik-Nickel, or as speculators are already calling it, the "Chickel." (HT: Keosahawkeye.)

Yours for only $15, the Chickel commemorates the upcoming 2007 season by putting Chizik in profile on antique gold. Looking at the picture, we've never noticed what a striking similarity there is between Coach Chizik and Chief Sitting Bull, were one to cut his hair and place him in a three-piece suit.

As compared to other coach-emblazoned swag, it's impressive. For example, this completely kicks the ass of the [NAME REDACTED] seat cushions they handed out two years ago at Illinois. They were unpopular with reason, however, as they tended to get soft and give out somewhere around the early fourth quarter.

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i think that you should reevaluate those [NAME REDACTED] cushions, because as you know, they constantly improve, and are getting better and better…

by rjsplow on Jul 10, 2007 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

As pointed out, this new coin is going to cause a lot of confusion. Heads, tails, either way it’s a loser.

by keosahawkeye on Jul 10, 2007 12:58 PM EDT reply actions

I dont know if the Chickel’s performance will be any better than the seat cushion.

At the moment of truth it will land face-down half the time.

by Cincy on Jul 10, 2007 1:02 PM EDT reply actions

This begs the question:

How long will Hellen Keller remain on Alabama’s quarter?

by Allahver Fist on Jul 10, 2007 1:08 PM EDT reply actions

This slippery slope is going to take us to “JoePa memorial MedicAlert bracelets” sooner than you think.

by irishoutsider on Jul 10, 2007 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

Allahver, I can’t see her coming off that quarter anytime soon. And I haven’t heard any proposals for a replacement, either.

by rusty on Jul 10, 2007 1:21 PM EDT reply actions

I hear the [NAME REDACTED] cushions are attracting high-quality asses. I mean asses that no one would ever have imagined. Asses usually reserved for fur and velvet.

And no one knows why.

by random.post.boi on Jul 10, 2007 1:35 PM EDT reply actions

What’s the ratio of Chizik nickels to Schrutebucks?

by PeteJayhawk on Jul 10, 2007 1:43 PM EDT reply actions

#8: Or to Stanley-nickels?

by chickensupernova on Jul 10, 2007 1:54 PM EDT reply actions

Screw the Chickel, I want that Cal Bears basketball goal below this post.

by PW on Jul 10, 2007 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

But those [NAME REDACTED] are perfect for throwing at drink machines!

This coin reminds me of all the cheap Soviet-era swag that was available after the wall fell. And it will probably be of a similiar fate.

by MCab on Jul 10, 2007 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

#5, I think it just did. And, I heard recently they were coming out with a Joe Pa Special edition Depends box this fall.

by SlobberKnocker on Jul 10, 2007 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

Bike Protective is releasing a special “Irons” edition jock strap with a picture of Kenny’s face… on the inside.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 10, 2007 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

But only in size -XS

by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 10, 2007 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

What’s the point of commemorating a 3-win season?

by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 10, 2007 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

What, no EDSBS Live preview?

by Wooderson on Jul 10, 2007 3:09 PM EDT reply actions

I guess this is a must-have item for the people who buy those collector’s edition plates out of Ladies Home Journal. Seriously though, who’s purchasing this thing?

If I was Mr. Chizik, I would make sure I had my own helmet come November, lest he start catching these things off the side of his head when the losses are piling up.

by Brian on Jul 10, 2007 3:11 PM EDT reply actions

Remember, not all commemorative nickels go up in value.

by HFS on Jul 10, 2007 3:12 PM EDT reply actions

Or Harry Caray hot dog currency?

by CFB Authority on Jul 10, 2007 3:31 PM EDT reply actions

Helmet? You assume Iowa State fans will actually care that they are losing. They just wanted to give off the illusion that their team was respectable by hiring someone away from a traditional power. In the end, it’s the equivalent of adding the Corvette body kit to a Fiero. If they actually cared about winning games, they’d have kept McCarney, who could eek out six or seven wins a season, which is likely the most that program will ever be capable of.

by Kipp on Jul 10, 2007 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

Golden Yuan reference? really Orson? You are a strange little man

by baba oje on Jul 10, 2007 3:47 PM EDT reply actions

Has this guy been kicked in the head by a mustang? He’s been in Ames for 6 months and all he’s done is humiliate a program that can’t afford it.
Good thing no one pays attention to them.

by jebushchrist on Jul 10, 2007 5:45 PM EDT reply actions