BRIAN HOYER WILL EAT THAT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Steny Hoyer? He’s gettin’ awfully bulked up for a sixty-something Congressman.

Tebow had to employ the help of a paper clip and rubber band? Wuss.

By lean bear meat… do you mean penis?

Send him a couple of cases of MRE’s. They’re about 3,000 cal/meal. He won’t crap until November, but he’ll have plenty of calories.

Odell — I guess that hinges entirely on what sort of “bear” he’s been chasing.

Corrected, DG. Damn you, pre-coffee blogging.

People like Brian absolutely disgust me… and when I say “like Brian” I mean people with metabolisms that could turn hydrogen into helium. Bastards.

PeterPumpkinhead: Metabolism is mostly a function of amount of muscle (more muscle requires more food for maintenance) and physical activity. He doesn’t have freakish genetics, he probably has a decent amount of muscle tone combined with the insane amount of physical activity required of a D1 football player. It’s called a workout. :-)

Someone with his level of activity could easily be burning 3500 calories a day, if not more.

If Tebow walks past a turkey sandwich, he’ll gain 15 pounds. If he walks past a sorority house, we’ll have several mini-Tebows.

See, what you do there is you take the buttery pastry and you dunk it in the heavy cream. That’s how the Fightin’ Manginos roll.

So he killed the Bear with his Bare hands. You sir are a literary genus.

It doesn’t inspire confidence in my program when the QB is bulking up to “take big hits”…as if he’s expecting his left tackle to come up with a couple of ‘look out’ blocks every game.

Peter Pumpkinhead, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m a mean bastard.

Iostcause – I hate those people as well. Fuck it, I want the freakish genetics to be able to eat hog ass and rice whenever I want, drink like a SoCar QB, and have sex with little or no effort and not worry about gaining weight. Plus, turning H2 into He sounds pretty cool as well although I suspect the money making side of that would be the reverse reaction.

When the Great Hunger comes, they will pay.

He’s hunting Man V Wild Bear. It is packed full of elephant poo water and scorpions.

I just found out that a person that I work with met Steve Spurrier in 1995 at a function that the OBC had at his home. I told him that this was important news and must be posted for the rest of the college football world. Makes me wonder what other things are being hidden from me.

True. But until then, Hoyer should continue eating sickening amounts of food while bizarrely keeping a balanced (in terms of types of food, not a proper balanced diet) diet.

Actually, spartymike (#12) is right. Perhaps it is his left tackle who should be consuming over 6,000 calories a day. More heavy cream and buttery pastry for the O-line!

Tim Tebow’s mighty bare hands = Friday Cheesecake, Ladies’ Edition, Text Version.

Also, gator tacos are the new fried grouper nuggets. Fact!

Re #6: Sir —

That you know of Steny Hoyer at all, much less that you have him sufficiently in mind to confuse with a corn-fed Midwestern quarterback, explains plenty about how this site differs from the run-of-the-mill sports blowfest.

Cheers,
DG

Fucker took all the bacon at shoneys on me

re: #17, as long as you stay Anonymous IV, you shall forever remain in the dark.

re: #14, OoC, I share your desire, I just don’t want to drink like Steve Tanneyhill…I have it on good authority that he was a projectile barfer of the first order which rendered his trademark mullet a skanky mess . I’d rather turn my intoxication into a Mitchell-esque first rate dancing mojo which might facilitate the effortless sex portion. Here’s to hopin’…

#22, this is going to sound uber geeky, but the reason that I use “Anonymous IV” is because Anonymous IV is the name that has been given to a author of a medieval music treatise of which nothing is known about his life, not even his name, hence Anonymous IV. The importance of the text lies in the fact that it mentions Léonin and Pérotin, two composers of the Notre Dame School of polyphony from the 13th century, that otherwise would themselves be anonymous. Musicology meet college football.

So, Anon IV, did you have an epiphany about polyphony?

#24, I would have expected the first reponse to be something with the Notre Dame school, but the epiphany about polyphony made me laugh.

So, Anon IV disclosed the names of the other two composers to prevent them from being Anons V and VI in his treatise of 13th century Notre Damese polyphony? Not so much uber-geeky…more a level of education I have yet to achieve in a field I cannot comprehend.

Well, Anon IV was writing at least fifty years after both Léonin and Pérotin were no longer alive. So that would have made those two composers just anonymous. I forgot to mention that the IV at the end of Anonymous IV is that it was the fourth anonymous treatise in the collection of Charles-Edmond-Henri de Coussemaker work titled “Scriptorum de musica medii aevi nova series.” There are 26 different anonymous treatises in Coussemaker’s works. Anonymous IV is just the most famous one.

It must be an MSU curse, for the Hebrew Howitzer Michael Henig at Mississippi State is bulking up as well. After two broken collarbones last year, he’s using ice cream to add weight. That’s how we do it in the Dirty South.

What is up with Michigan State and food? Like this one:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A21821-2005Apr2.html

Ok, I kid, I kid, I know she’s got an (enviable) condition.

Anon IV, did you poison Anon III to acquire the throne?

Multiple Cliff Claven sightings.

This is actually very dangerous for the kid.

Jared Lorentzen started out as a 6’6", 160lbs freshman at Kentucky a few years ago, and look what happened to him.

Having part of your digestive system removed and having to consume that many calories. I thought only Navy SEALs during Hell Week and shrews consumed that many calories? That must hit the pocket book pretty hard.

OOC – If you could turn H2 into He you’d be set for life, because the Southern Company would pay you major mulah to keep your mouth shut so they can keep raping Mother Earth.

Orson – when the hunger comes, I will be king… who else do you know that can eat 1200 calories a day, work out, and still gain weight? I’ll be the hedonism-bot of the Great Wasteland

re: #27, would you classify your work on this topic as history or music, as instructor or student, as interest or obligation? At least it involves latin which earns style points, and from a musical standpoint, I can play a stereo. 100 cocktails, should they be mine to grant, to you for expertise in the most obscure line of inquiry I have yet encountered on EDSBS.

I agree with the above sentiment in that he found out his OL was bulimic so he need to strap on some extra pounds.

Man, the Spartans are going to have a rough year. For any of those that saw Hoyer play last season, I don’t think he’s much to get excited about.

Dantonio is going to work out eventually, just not this season.