Not bad work Swindle. Not bad work at all

Thank you for the kind words.

This sort of piss-shit article demeans college football and writing as we know it. Burnt Orange Nation has some quality articles. You look at mgoblog, there’s about 3 or 4 really good ones there. This shithole place really brings down football. In particular, the commenters are lackluster, and they give each one of the posts a huge number on the side, like that matters. I can’t see why anyone would like this place. The way I see it, you ought to just head down to athlonsports.com, a real powerhouse of journalism.

Sincerely,
Coach Les

“…endlessly farting ass of a mythic, methane-farting bull-god…”, I had no idea Les had such verbal acuity…obviously that is what he’s hiding in the enormous space encompassed by the top of his cap, an overly developed cerebrum dedicated to the verbal brutalizing of pre-pubescent girls. Bra-fucking-vo, Orson.

In Miles’ defense…Hayley does suck.

That was awesome.

Miles is dead-right about the Pac-10, btw.

“Plus, she looks like a dood.”

- Bo Pelini

Hayley’s dance moves are even mediocre to quite mediocre.
-Blake Mitchell

This is the line that got me.

“gave a flying dog turd-shaped airplane made of dog turds about her anymore”

That line about the crocs was gold, Jerry. Gold!

I second the nod, Odell 51.

Fine piece of writing, Orson. I was just thinking last week how funny the Les – JoePa bit was a few months ago. I even laughed aloud in my office just thinking of it- and to reward my memory – you give me this! Fan-100cocktailstoyou-stic, sir.

Bra-vo. That was a fantastic piece; I really liked the build up of vitriol from the schedule/conference smack to the verbal breakdown of poor Hayley Lafontaine.

Regarding this line: “Hayley’s clothes look like somebody redesigned Zayles’ kids line on PCP and then let it pass through the digestive system of an irritated Llama”

It’s gold, just gold.

can’t.breathe.

 my face hurts from laughing so hard.

 Orson, that is just pure descriptive poetry.
 You put a broken keyboard under your fingers, and it’d crap flowers.

 "Her birthday parties always turn up the dregs of the sixth grade, including Darwin the fat nerd from down the street who always wears Earth Shoes and smells like bad cheese."

 Gold, Jerry, gold.

Let’er Rip Les! I love that guy. At least the embarrasing stuff he does is macho, unlike some coaches that cry after press conferences.

I would love to see a cagefight between Miles and Dan Hawkins.

Dan: It’s Division I Football! It’s the Big 12!
Les: You suck — you went 2-10 last year. The big 12 sucks. The only way you could suck even more is if you had Haley Lafontaine at QB.

"She keeps going on about how excited she is about the Bratz movie coming up–Omigod bratz bratz bratz weeeEEEEEEE–that I’m thinking of burning down the Regal 5 the night before just to watch her cry."

I am picturing Les setting fire to the theatre right now. Well done.

Perplexity Dept:

I am not sure whether I hate or like Miles’ recent anti-USC commentary:

I like that he went beyond the standard head coach company line diatribe and spoke his mind (what little he has). I like that he gave USC bulletin board material, not that they need it. Sort of like giving Matt Leinart another bimbo to go out with.

Though, I hate that he attacked the Pac 10. The SEC may have stronger defenses, but the Pac 10 is way ahead on the offensive side of the ball.

Actually, even though I am a USC fan, it was funny to hear some smack from a bonehead coach.

What’s Urban think about Les copping the point / stare ?

Fuck Hayley.

Holy craptastic, Batman!!! This is far and away my favorite source for up-to-the-minute CFB news no matter how controversial. Is Miles aware of how hairy that 11 year old he/she is? She’s a beast, i tell you!

In a duel her hairy beastiness wins over Miles’ extended wrecking ball cranium of death.

SC has a harder schedule than LSU this year

At least Jeff Tedford doesn’t wear his hat like the stick up his ass has a stick up its ass.

I think I babysat Hayley LaFontaine.

This just in… Les was just quoted as calling Bo Schembechler a “bitch” for dying because “champions find a way to live.” Pretty harsh for a Michigan man.

Too soon???

Kids today would be much more magniloquent if they were all subjected to such eloquent tirades from Les Miles.

I’m waiting for Les to make a comment about Urban & the Gators…it’s easy for him to talk smack about SC and the Pac 10 when there’s only a chance he’ll be playing them at the end of the year. I just want him to run his mouth off about someone we know he’ll have to face…

Where does Les find time for this shit?

It sounds to me like Les is feeling the pressure of high expectations.

I think they lost too many players to the NFL to be on track for the BCS title game this year. As a USC fan an LSU matchup at the end of the year would be great fun, but I don’t think it will happen.

Saban always wanted to call out Hayley Lafontaine too, but he didn’t have time for that shit

damn 26 beat me to it, I lack that southern speed I guess

Seriously, this post is hysterical, but it’s even better knowing the individuals and personal peeves that inspired it.

Although Orson can go fuck himself for hating crocs. They’re comfy. As a joke, I told my parents he loved them, so they got him a perfectly nice pair. In revenge, he got a sharpie and wrote “Left” and “Right” on them so he looks retarded when he wears them.

A dream within a dream…

This might be the funniest EDSBS post I’ve read. Bravo, O., you sick, sick man. I mean that in the best way possible.

who the heck is hayley lafontaine?!

We’ll see how the strength of schedule plays out, but USC has a 3 game season at this point:
 - Nebraska
 - Cal
 - UCLA (but only because they lost to them last year)

Games that USC should dominate:
 - Idaho, Notre Dame, teams from Washington, teams from Oregon, teams from Arizona, and Stanford.

LSU has a 6 game season this year:
 - Virginia Tech
 - South Carolina
 - Florida
 - Kentucky
 - Auburn
 - Arkansas

LSU should dominate the following teams:
 - Miss State, Middle Tenn, Tulane, Bama, LaTech, Ole Miss

How can you argue that USC has a tougher schedule right now?

#32: A worthless no-good sack of shit.

2007 Oregon >>>>>>>>>>>>> 2007 Kentucky

Trust me.

With such knowledge of fashion sense, I’d think this was one of Saban’s rants.

He is spot on about USC, the Pac 10 and the Big 12. Glad he has the bullgod-sized huevos to say it. The bullgod is pleased.

Fuck you, Mr. Miles. My daddy says you don’t know shit from shinola and my mommy said your house looked like a fucking Applebees last Christmas. I dare you to find someone who wants you in Baton Rouge! Go! Even your dog thinks about Saban when you rub his nuts you mean old bastard. And those tagalongs? Only the queers order those, well, the queers and you. You don’t know shit about fasion either. Jim Tressel called and said you dress like a bitch.
Fucker.

“I’m waiting for Les to make a comment about Urban & the Gators…it’s easy for him to talk smack about SC and the Pac 10 when there’s only a chance he’ll be playing them at the end of the year. I just want him to run his mouth off about someone we know he’ll have to face…

Comment by Scott M — July 2, 2007 @ 3:34 pm"

If I remember incorrectly he already had something to say about Alabama and Saban. That will be a good match-up. Les has the social graces of an inbred chimp that suffers from dementia and Saban who speaks with a forked tongue that Voldemort would be proud to call his own.

PurpleHeart —

Isn’t it mighty disingenuous to count Kentucky and OBCU as games, but not Oregon or Notre Dame (whose coach is obese)?

#33…are you serious about Kentucky? WTF?

Is this the same USC team that beat Arkansas 70-17 and 50-14 the last two years, while LSU only beat Arkansas 19-17 and 38-28? The same team that is 59-6 over the last 5 years, and those 6 losses only coming to Pac-10 or Big 12 teams. The same team that manhandled Auburn in 02 and 03, while LSU was losing to Auburn in 02.

I know we don’t know how to count up here in the Big 11, but those figures don’t add up in my book.

Honestly though, all I care about is that LSU beats Bama…the rest is gravy.

1. that is funny shit

For #20…

LSU can play half their schedule, including four conference games, and still have a tougher overall schedule than USC.

Thank you, come again.

You’ve made my day 3-5% better Orson. Thanks.

Also, do you wear socks with your Crocs?

USC is super talented — nobody is arguing that pre-season they are the best team in the nation, and Pete Carroll is a fantastic coach.

The argument is over SOS. I purposely left out Notre Dame because why pick on them, but seriously, you have ND going into the season without their top running back from last year, their top receivers, and their heisman runner-up quarterback.

 Kentucky would tear up an easier schedule with their offense. Andre Woodson and Rafael Little are two guys that would absolutely light it up in easier conferences — they would take all the fat bitches in West Virginia’s haystacks.

What the eff is OBCU?

Ol’ Ball Coach University, we’re guessing, a.k.a. South Carolina.

Being an SEC man, and loathing those hippies on the west coast, it pains me to ask, but didn’t USC beat the shit out of the SEC West champion Arkansas Razorbacks last year?

Just sayin’………..

Looks like someone is still mad their mom made them play with ghetto-ass gobots.

Sent from my iPhone

Yeah, in that case all I have to say about the OBCU is “click clack” I’m gonna go pee on a tree OBC style.

Again, yes, USC did beat the piss out of the Razorbacks (with an unhealthy Run-DMC and new OC in the first game etc;). Nobody’s arguing USC’s talent — I think ol’ les was arguing the talent level of California vs. Tennessee etc; etc; etc;

Again, Click Clack.

Judging by her smile, is Hayley a relative of Dick Cheney?

As a Gamecock fan, I’d drool for Notre Dame and Oregon on the schedule this year instead of pick two (@UGA, @Vols, Gators, @LSU, @Hawgs, Clemson). Ok so we have SC State, LA-Laf (RCR – you coming for it?) – but damn, we’d gladly trade with SoCal for Oregon and ND for any two of our tough 6.

Les Miles, like the whole SEC, is a stupid fucking hick.

#35: Wanting 2007 Oregon to be >>>>>>>>2007 Kentucky doesn’t make it so. Trust me.

Blake Mitchell: I wonder if I could sneak Hayley into a bar without getting roughed up

It pains me to see parochialism is still the name of the game in SEC country. When it comes to football you all are as bad as the northeast. Trashing conferences that are fare away and not understood only shows that you are only fans of YOUR team, instaed of fans of the game.

Jealousy is never pretty, Les, just let go and buy a pair of Crocs already, loosen the hat, and everything else will just flow into place.

Remember the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where say Porky Pig is hungry and he sees someone else as a chicken leg? I think old Les is looking at Hayley and seeing Ryan Perriloux. Sad, really.

1. I love the sorry ass excuse for having 50 dropped on your defense…RUN DMC plays corner too? Last I checked the “new” OC was running the offense…and last I checked he lit up some SEC defenses…but it was only because Arky didn’t get into their groove until later in the season….

So what if Ohio State fell out of their groove late in the season…could I argue that the ass whipping put on us by the Gators didn’t count?

See that is the problem with the vast majority of you SEC fans…you want your cake (and midgits) and eat it (them) too.

USC has thrashed 4 straight SEC teams….get over it. And they would’ve thrashed LSU had they played in 2003, no doubt.

I’m glad to see that rule about limiting ad hominem attacks didn’t hold.

SKLM,

I’m sure Les is praying that the BCS 2003’s SC again this year.

Fucking Haley LaFontaine…

Not only is 2007 Oregon>>>>>>than Kentucky but so is ASU and Oregon St. Don’t sleep on those teams. Anyway every single pre-season (for whatever that’s worth) mag has USC’s SOS>>>than LSU’s. Phil Steele has USC with the #2SOS and LSU #52. Anyway once the Kommies beat Tennessee in the opener people won’t be able to talk chit at all.

Define “Lighting it up” against SEC defenses — Malzahn didn’t score more than 30 against Florida, LSU, TOBCU, Alabama, or Auburn.

I think LSU would have won or at least be close against USC in 2003, but who cares? LSU has the trophy for ’03 just like Florida won it all last year.

We could talk shit all day about hypothetical what-if scenarios but it’s all bullshit because none of it happened in the past. “What if USC had to play in the SEC”, “What if Kentucky played Oregon’s Schedule”, “What if Kenny Irons wasn’t thinking about oral pleasure with a midget”

These arguments could easily be solved by a playoff — someone get myles brand on the phone.

Click-clack.

The AP is reporting that a spokesperson for Robert E. Lee High School in Baton Rouge has issued a statement on behalf of incoming freshman Hayley LaFontaine. The school official called Miles’ comments “scurrilous, scandalous and indicorus,” and referred to Miles personally as a “no account carpetbagger in dire need of a milliner.”

I just got home from teaching a summer school class of mean spirited 15 year old neanderthals who demand extra credit for knowing how to breathe air. Its been a hard day and I am considering drinking myself into a coma when I read about Les and his amazing rant. Bless you sir! Bless you! It’s been a long time since I laughed so hard I blew iced tea out my nose!
Mjak

#52

I can promise you Oregon 2007 will be far better than Kentucky 2007. It’s not a wish.

Geez, who actually gives a shit about Oregon or Kentucky Football in any year?

I hope Michigan hires Les Miles some day.

Amen to that, doubtingthomas.

“Geez, who actually gives a shit about Oregon or Kentucky Football in any year?”

a couple of UO alums and even fewer UK alums. UK is a basketball school, thought you knew.

SC is basically a NFL caliber (in both talent and payroll) team, everyone looks lesser compared to them.

it will be interesting to see who they play in the BCS this year.

Re #64:

Um…Rich Brooks?

When someone in the Pac-10 other than USC can manage to win a MNC, then come talk. In my lifetime, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, and LSU have won one, and Auburn’s been shafted two good times (‘83, ’04) with another undefeated season (’93).

No one in the Pac-10 has won an undisputed MNC outside of USC. For cryin’ out loud, BYU has more undisputed MNCs than the rest of the Pac-10.

Les Miles hides brains of the hateful truth under that hat.

Les Miles is turning into a JuCo Jim Harbaugh, except with a real football team to back him up.

#64

College football fans

That is a keeper. Well done. And thank you.

I’m reading this for, let’s see, about the 49th time. My side is killing me.

And then I read comment # 59…

That fucking whore…

when big Les was at Meechigan what was their record against the Pac 10. ahh i thought so…

Dont remember Washington’s title #68

Fine writing Swindle ..just came by after Wizard of Odds and this was much funnier …..

To quote Shakespeare " Thou dust protest too much Less"

Orson, that post was already the funniest thing I’ve seen all week, but the comments that followed it were just incredible.

Anyway, freaking LSU is always looking for excuses already, our conference is too hard, wha wha wha…….. If you want to settle who’s better, there’s only one way, on the FREAKING FIELD. I don’t want to hear whining about how your conference is better. We shared a common opponent, Arkansas, and last time I checked, it wasn’t LSU that dropped 70 and 50 on the Hawgs. So, let’s both cross our fingers that both our teams make it to the MNC game and we’ll see which team brings it.

For now, the only thing we do know is that the best LSU HS players/running backs would rather play for Southern Cal than LSU.

#40

Thanks for pointing out that you idiots can’t count and then proving it. No, this USC team is NOT the “same team” that beat Auburn in 2002 (a squeaker headed to overtime if our TE hadn’t dropped a 4th quarter sure-TD pass) and 2003. Every player on both teams is gone from the 2002 game and only redshirts from 2003 are still around for this year and those guys didn’t play.

When are idiots like you and the media going to comprehend that what happened between USC and Auburn in 2002 and 2003 doesn’t have shit to do with what would happen between AU and USC in 2004 or USC and LSU in 2007. They are DIFFERENT TEAMS, dipshit.

Oh, and thank you for two decades of being the bitch of the SEC.

I think that everybody is reacting to ESPN’s hype on the BIg East, the Big 10, and USC; to the point where it was beyond annoying.

Does anyone remember two years ago when ESPN spent 10 days comparing USC to the “greatest teams of all-time” only to have them lose to Texas? How about Kirk Herbstreit stating several times that “the gators are too weak to be on the same field with ohio state”, and then Florida whupped some Ohio State ass, a couple of days after USC, who lost two games, whupped Michigan’s ass.

By the way, I hope Gator fans shit in paper bags, light them on fire, and throw them at herbie when gameday comes to town.

I think USC, Cal, Ohio State, Michigan, Florida, LSU, Texas, and Nebraska are all good teams. The problem is the way we decide our national championship, which has to do with strength of schedule. Strength of schedule is still subjective, and different people lobby all the time (ESPN for the teams that play on their network, Mack Brown, Urban Meyer, Pete Carroll) to get their interests in. Until we get a playoff this is the way it’s going to be.

I sure don’t want to plaly to USC, at least not until they get hit by crippling sanctions for flagrant NCAA violations.

I think FLorida State in the ACC of the 90’s is a good analogy for USC of today.

They are way more talented than their conference opponents, don’t get too beat up throughout the course of the season and usually end up in a good position to win it all.

As far as beating Arkansas by 50 and 70, it’s no secret that Boss Hawg is not a super coach. Fortunately for him he’s had Matt Jones and now McFadden who can manage to win games single handedly.

I’m not USC, Pac-10, Big-12, or Nick Saban; but either LSU can walk the walk or they can’t. I thought they lost about three players that they aren’t going to replace with the same caliber players.
Personally, I drop LSU out of the top ten simply because HE is their coach AND he appears to be an idiot.
His players HAVE to be pulling him aside and telling him to please shut up.
He was responsible for the Tennessee loss in ’05. No one else.

Purpleheart, I concur.

#37, you’re killin’ me…“Jim Tressel called and said you dress like a bitch”…oh, I’m wiping away tears!

Reading between the lines, albeit probably incorrectly, it appears the Swindles have a neighbor, and/or a neighbor’s kid they don’t like, or a relative who does.

Conversely, or not, you can’t beat those Scandanavians when it comes to the furniture.

Bravo to the “house poor” folks for improving their abode.

1. Needs to remember that while SC got Joe McKnight, with a little help from Reggie (wait? whats that Pete and J.T.? There was no conference call? Well thats not what Joe said), LSU kept Keiland Williams in state the year before. Don’t get too chesty yet.

I was referring to USC as a program, not as a team in terms of who’s on the roster and who’s gone.

Speaking of the last 20 years, how many times has Auburn been banned from Bowl games, television, the SEC championship game, etc. WTF has Alabama or Auburn done in the last 20 years besides cheat???? The two schools from the state of Alabama have probably combined for more NCAA violations than any other state.

Here’s the last 10 years of Alabama vs. Auburn in comparison to Ohio State vs. Michigan:

National Championships: 2-0
Heisman Trophies: 2-0
Top 5 finishes: 8-1
10 Win Seasons: 12-6

Do we really want to take a closer look at the number of first team all-americans, first round draft picks, and the total number of players drafted into the NFL?

And as far as being anyone’s bitch, sadly can’t disagree with regards to Ohio State. However, despite Ohio State’s piss poor performance against SEC teams in the post season, the Big Ten has held its own against the SEC. 13-13 in bowl games in the last 10 years…and just about every Big Ten team has a quality win over an SEC team in a bowl game…Ohio State is the exception. In fact, if Ohio State would have halfway held up its end of the bargain there would be no arguing conferences.

Whoever wrote the post from Hailey in #37 deserves 100 cocktails. I’m so glad I’m on vacation this week because I probably would have been fired for laughing too hard during a meeting after reading that.

Funny shit fellas.

…follow up…

I meant to include this little gem that put me in a chuckling fetal position mess on the floor:

Even your dog thinks about Saban when you rub his nuts you mean old bastard.

What’s with the Big 10 and Pac 10 homers sounding like Alabama fans by living in the past – “Oh, USC beat Auburn 7 years ago, so the SEC sucks.”

Smell scoreboard from last year, punks.

Shut up until you have more than 2 competitive schools in your conferences.

So, is everyone else annoyed that tOSUBuckeyes is trumpted Michigan and USC’s success whilst talking smack about the SEC, or just highly amused that he doesn’t can’t bring himself to think about Oh. St. yet, and thus relieve the horrid, horrid beatdown received. (Ask Orson about those Nebraska flashbacks from ’96 – that shit stays with you like ’Nam.)

Herb, we’ve long since gotten over that AAHFHFHHHGGDISVLKCNKLVN:LKVNOIENGHBNKJDFN:LSDVODJKNVCKVXCVCVLCIO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn’t Matt Mauk a dentist? USC would’ve crushed LSU going away. Everyone knows this but the Corndogs.

“Smell scoreboard from last year, punks. "

I thought USC kinda showed up against the SEC West Champion last year, but perhaps my eyes deceived. Scoreboard bitches!

Sorry Orson, just a part of my neverending quest to single-handedly bring back the option.

1. How does USC beating Auburn in 2003 = 7 years ago? Just wondering.

#89
I think I mentioned our piss poor performance in the National Championship game and against SEC teams in general…I’m not hiding anything there.

However, this was an LSU vs. USC argument and I am taking the USC side, naturally because regardless of all the excuses you want to make, such as SOS or USC doesn’t play anyone, etc., USC still only has 6 losses in the last 5 years and the combined total of those losses is 22 f’king points. And yet USC gets ZERO credit from SEC fans, despite 4 straight wins over SEC teams, heisman’s out the ass, hotter chicks, more tradition, and Petey.

And see it’s really not about USC, to me it’s more about the SEC fans that have to beat their chest about how tough their conference is and how no one else in the country plays anyone…This rant from Miles is just another example.

The reason I haven’t really mentioned Ohio State (other than the comparison between tOSU vs. Mich and Bama vs. Auburn – that was just for shits and giggles) is because this is not about Ohio State…this is about LSU and USC.

Does anyone have Hayley’s phone number?

First, Orson WOW… you keep blowing away the expectations!

Second, #85 interesting comparison, but you did just compare the top 2 teams from the big ten over the last 10 years to 2 teams from the SEC that are clearly not the top 2 teams of the last 10 years. I guess if you want to make a point, statistics can be used however you want them to be used.

1. 93 the SEC gives USC credit, just not so much the rest of the PAC 10. No one has said USC is a bad team by any means.

1. I was responding to a post from an Auburn fan so I compared the Iron Bowl to the Ohio State Michigan game.

buckeye,

whats up with using using tricky shit like numbers and comparative facts…..can’t we just keep this debate to hyperbole and fuck yous as god intended?

thanks

And what IS it with these SEC whiners? Urban “THE SEC is so Tough” Cryer and Please Less “THE SEC is so Tough” Piles should form a support group.

1. 93 tOSUBuckeyes:

On the one hand, many thanks for the kind words.

On the other hand, let’s not throw the babes out with the bathwater with the comparisons… the photographic evidence suggests that there is much pulchritude in the SEC fan base.

1. I can attest that arguing with auburn fans proves pointless :) and the whole strength of conference discussion is impossible to win for anybody. All fans think that their conference is not respected enough, and that other conferences get too much credit. Everybody will believe what they want anyway. Plus didn’t we all agree not to argue about it this season in an earlier post?

Matt Mauck is a QB on the titans, but why are we talking about 2003?

I thought there was a statute of limitations on this stuff non? Welll……as long as we’re talking about it, maybe USC would have won the BCS national championship if they had a tougher schedule.

I remember a lot of people saying that Oklahoma would blow LSU away before the Sugar Bowl after the ‘03 season too. So excuse me if I don’t tremble in my shrimping boots at the sound of ’03 USC.

Hey! ACC Represent!

looks around

Anybody?

Damn. This is what happens when Wake FUCKING Forest wins the conference. Thanks Reggie Ball, you worthless sack of shit. You’re almost as bad as Hayley.

Did anyone else notice that if you stick his name in instead of Hayley’s, the rant still holds?

Just hard for me to not give the Pac 10 some credit, of those 6 losses in the last 5 years for USC, 4 of them came from Pac 10 schools. Seems like I remember UCLA going to back to back Rose bowls around the same time they beat Bama back to back years. Arizona State had a shot at the National Championship in 1996, but we all know what happened then, you’re welcome gator fans.

Since 1990 the Pac 10 has had the fewest Undefeated conference champions with 5. The SEC has had 6 and the Big Ten has had 7.

Also, since 1990, all of the Pac 10 teams have won at least 1 conference championship (all 10 teams); only 6 different teams have won an SEC title since 1990; 8 for the Big Ten.

My point being, you guys don’t give any credit to the other conferences, yet the other conferences have fewer undefeated conference champions, and more teams winning the conference titles.

WOW. Reggie Ball jokes never get old.

tOSUBuckeyes: your point is well taken — however, could it be the reason why some conferences do have more undefeated conference champions is because there is an unfair balance of power in said conference, hence the schedule is easier?

It’s not like there is one team that dominates the SEC by the way.

Purple heart-

re-read post 105. He is saying the PAC-10 has the FEWEST undefeated conference champions. The example points to parity within the conference, over recent history.

Yeah I was hoping nobody would pick up on that.

• urinates on self, walks away in shame *

So are we ready for the season to start or what?

#85,

No one respects the USC program as much as Auburn fans. We’ve said so since visiting them 5 years ago. However, my post wasn’t really about them and you dodged the point of my post. The point of my post was that Columbus U. has been THE BITCH, The insolent whore who has been getting backhanded by the Pimp that is the SEC for TWO DECADES.

By the way, did you really just say something about cheating? An OSU fan talking about cheating? How many big-time scandals have you guys had in the last 10 years? Auburn hasn’t been on football probation in the last decade. We’ve had a minor, self-reported one in basketball. You guys have had the Maurice Clarett fiasco and I seem to remember the basketball team cheating so much that I thought O’Brien was going to get hanged for treason. Oh, that was for buying up that team that beat our basketball team in 1999. That team of pros went to the Final Four and then Clarett took you to another (tainted) title.

Do you guys do anything BUT cheat up there and instinctively grab your ankles every time you see an SEC school? My personal fave was the whippings Granny Holtz put on you in consecutive years at SOUTH CAROLINA?:!?!?!?!?!

totally uncalled for

Hey, if they let him do it, Pete Carroll would totally play an all-SEC (well, except for ND) out-of-conference schedule.

He’s getting so pumped up just thinking about the idea.

Everyone here is familiar with the ACC/Big Televen challenge in basketball, right?

Why don’t we have Tom Hansen and Mike Slive get together and pick a year for the Pac-10 and SEC to do the same in Football. Match up the 10 SEC teams that aren’t Vandy and Miss St. against Pac-10 teams making the most compelling matchups (for instance, you could do the USC/LSU thing, or you could do USC/Bama recalling the big games from the 70s… maybe it depends on what year they decide to do it).

Do it all on one weekend, early in the season… say the second week.

Who’s in?

Damn, tOSUBuckeyes. Got some issues?

Boy Howdy,

     Yeah I bet ol’ Pete would be up for that. USC is awesome. No doubt there. But not good enough to play good teams week in and week out. And yes, the SEC has some shitty, shitty teams (see Ole Miss and Miss. St.), but other than those two (really only Miss. St.), every team in the conference demands preparation and actual play-calling. The only true breaks most SEC teams take are Miss. St. (if it’s on the schedule) and usually one crappy out-of-conference for homecoming. USC can completely take off at least 7 weeks out if the year. That makes a huge difference when the national championship game rolls around. And no conference championship either.

Let’s face it; any given year Florida, UT, UGA, LSU, Aub and Bama are capable to compete for a national title. I say capable because certain things have to go their way of course but the talent base is surely there. The talent base in available in California for teams like UCLA and Cal to compete on a national level but I have not seen anything in the last 10 years that says they could jump up and win one any given year. It’s really hard for me to argue against the SEC being the deepest conference right now. However, the potential is there for conferences to pass them in the near future (i.e. ACC)

I think that Les Miles underestimates USC’s schedule. I’m not going to dispute that the SEC has more quality teams than the Pac-10, but you have to consider that the SEC is a 12 team conference and the Pac-10, obviously, only has 10 teams.

The Pac-10 only gets 3 OOC dates (one of them is Nebraska for USC) and then they play the entire Pac-10. It’s not a cakewalk like Miles appears to think it is.

you could do USC/Bama recalling the big games from the 70s…

HELL YES.

And no conference championship either.

Unnecessary now that all Pac 10 teams play one another in the season, thanks.

it is ridiculous that the big 10 can have a system where not all the teams play each other and not have a conference championship. Wisconsin and OSU should have played each other last year.

I am not as down on the PAC 10 as some people on here. I tend to think they are one of the stronger conferences. I do agree that the big 12 is a joke and I also think that the drop off from the top teams to the middle of the pack/bottom teams in big 10 is a joke

Well, tOSUBuckeyes has already done an excellent job of informing everyone here of how things stand when it comes to the actual records and final scores. But I think I should add an important stat that SEC fans are in constant denial of…

Since 2000, the Pac-10 has a winning record vs. the SEC. Go ahead and read that again.

Yet every SEC homer who like to point out their teams tough games will list a team like Arkansas who got crushed by USC, but USC doesn’t get to list Pac-10 teams to whom they lost.

Sorry, but if you think LSU has a tougher schedule than USC, then the rest of the world outside SEC-country does not agree with you.

“It’s not like there is one team that dominates the SEC by the way.”

Untrue.

Since 1992 (Hogs first year):

Team Record win %
Florida 103-25 80.47
 (this despite [NAME REDACTED]
Tennessee 91-32-1 73.79
Auburn 77-44-2 63.41
Georgia 75-47-1 61.38
LSU 69-53-1 56.50
Alabama 62-50-1 55.31
Arkansas 56-65-2 46.34
Ole Miss 50-70 41.67
South Car 45-74-1 37.92
MSU 41-79-1 34.30
Kentucky 33-87 27.50
Vanderbilt 16-104 13.33

For comparison’s sake, here is the Big 10 since 1993 (PSU’s first year):

Overall standings since 1993:

TEAM Wins Win %
Ohio State 85-26-1 76.34
Michigan 85-27-0 75.89
Penn State 69-43-0 61.61
Wisconsin 66-43-3 60.27
Iowa 56-55-1 50.45
Purdue 54-55-3 49.55
Michigan State 51-60-1 45.98
Northwestern 46-66-0 41.07
Minnesota 38-74-0 33.93
Illinois 34-77-1 30.80
Indiana 27-85-0 24.11

And for comparison’s sake, here is the Big 10 since 1993 (when PSU joined):

TEAM Wins Losses Ties Win %
Ohio State 85-26-1 76.34
Michigan 85-27-0 75.89
Penn State 69-43-0 61.61
Wisconsin 66-43-3 60.27
Iowa 56-55-1 50.45
Purdue 54-55-3 49.55
Michigan State 51-60-1 45.98
Northwestern 46-66-0 41.07
Minnesota 38-74-0 33.93
Illinois 34-77-1 30.80
Indiana 27-85-0 24.11

So when you cut through all the huffing and puffing you have the SEC with a losing record against the Pac 10 since 2000, 13-13 against the Big 10 in the last 10 years, 5-8 in the 5. And not to take anything away from the Gators, they whipped our ass, but honestly, and I know this is a big if, but had Ohio State won instead of Florida, it would’ve been a clean sweep over the SEC by the Big Ten and back to back losses for the SEC champion in bowl games. When was the last time the Big Ten champion lost to a Big East team? Or the last time a Pac 10 champion lost to a Big East champion?

And for the record, I’m not saying the SEC sucks or that the SEC is not tough; I’m just saying the SEC does not dominate the world the way SEC fans wish it did.

Actually, I think tOSUBuckeyes has convinced us, through his endless cracks on the SEC and Bama in general, that his wee-wee is smaller than ours.

Don’t feel bad, I’m sure South Carolina cheated when they went back to back on you.

Continuing with the Big 10/SEC data dump, here are the bowl records since 1993 (the first time both conferences had their present lineups):

And here are the bowl results of SEC/Big 10 contests since 1993:

1993 season
Citrus: Penn State 31 Tennessee 13

1994 season
Citrus: Alabama 24 Ohio State 17

1995 season
Independence: LSU 45 Michigan State 26
Outback: Penn State 41 Auburn 14
Citrus: Tennessee 20 Ohio State 14

1996 season
Outback: Alabama 17 Michigan 14
Citrus: Tennessee 48 Northwestern 28

1997 season
Outback: Georgia 33 Wisconsin 6
Citrus: Florida 21 Penn State 6

1998 season
Outback: Penn State 26 Kentucky 14
Citrus: Michigan 45 Arkansas 31

1999 season
Outback: Georgia 28 Purdue 25
Citrus: Michigan State 37 Florida 34
Orange: Michigan 35 Alabama 34

2000 season
Outback: South Carolina 24 Ohio State 7
Citrus: Michigan 31 Auburn 28

2001 season
Outback: South Carolina 31 Ohio State 28
Citrus: Tennessee 45 Michigan 17 (OUCH)
Sugar: LSU 47 Illinois 34

2002 season
Music City: Minnesota 29 Arkansas 14
Outback: Michigan 38 Florida 30
Capital One (Citrus): Auburn 13 Penn State 9

2003 season
Music City: Auburn 28 Wisconsin 14
Outback: Iowa 34 Florida 17
Capital One (Citrus): Georgia 34 Purdue 27

2004 season
Music City: Minnesota 20 Alabama 16
Outback: Georgia 24 Wisconsin 21
Capital One (Citrus): Iowa 30 LSU 25

2005 season
Outback: Florida 31 Iowa 24
Capital One (Citrus): Wisconsin 24 Auburn 10

2006 season
Outback: Penn State 20 Tennessee 10
Capital One (Citrus): Wisconsin 17 Arkansas 14
BCS Championship: Florida 41 Ohio State 14

So, since 1993, the Big Ten is 15-18 (45.45%) versus the SEC in bowls and 1-2 in BCS bowls. Dominated? You decide.

And for my encore on this topic I point to the Fulmer Cup’s all time standing.

SEC 88 points to the Pac 10’s 11.

Sorry for the redundancy with the last message, I forgot I had cut and past a lead in already.

tOSUBuckeyes-

If you don’t stop posting rationally, you’re going to totally ruin my sterotype of Buckeyes as cooler-pooping, toothless shoplifters.

In all seriousness, I feel that a win is only truly an ass-whipping when all the losing team’s fans have been reduced to incoherence. You’re taking some of the shine off the paddle, friend.

and to think the hurricanes were invited to join the SEC….

I have to side with TCOAN, tOSUBuckeyes, you’re singlehandedly working to change my whole viewpoint of Buckeye fans.

Also, +5 for the Fulmer Cup reference.

Some Auburn fans on the other hand, have been impressing me with their math, i.e. 2007-2003 = a loss 7 years ago. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with the education that you would get at a top notch university like Auburn…….

Whoops – please ignore the first post Orson.

As opposed to tOSU, some Auburn fans on the other hand, have been impressing me with their math, i.e. 2007-2003 = a loss 7 years ago. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with the education that you would get at a top notch university like Auburn…….

I have to side with TCOAN, tOSUBuckeyes, you’re singlehandedly working to change my whole viewpoint of Buckeye fans.

Also, +5 for the Fulmer Cup reference.

Comment by tOSUBuckeyes — July 3, 2007 @ 12:35 pm

135

Some Auburn fans on the other hand, have been impressing me with their math, i.e. 2007-2003 = a loss 7 years ago. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with the education that you would get at a top notch university like Auburn…….

Comment by tOSUBuckeyes — July 3, 2007 @ 12:39 pm

136

Whoops – please ignore the first post Orson.

As opposed to tOSU, some Auburn fans on the other hand, have been impressing me with their math, i.e. 2007-2003 = a loss 7 years ago. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with the education that you would get at a top notch university like Auburn…….

Comment by Jeff from LA — July 3, 2007 @ 12:42 pm

Oops…

In all the SEC/Big10/Pac10 huffing and puffing, the brilliance of #95 got completely missed. Bravo, Mr. Chmura, bravo!

Orson – I’ll be a man and admit I broke your #1 rule (and BON’s) a few weeks ago about not getting into the conference wars. I just can’t help it. Perhaps I need some Chrissy Moltisanti intervention- or some cheesecake. It is kind of like Friday as in we all have tomorrow off.

purple heart #110-

of course somebody would pick up on that here. Would you be a member of this blog if we didn’t?

#129,

I was speaking to the dominance of the SEC over the Ohio State U. professional cheaters. Thanks for the numbers to back up my assertion.

#137: Looks like “Jeff from LA” and “tOSU Buckeyes” agree with each other pretty closely, eh?

#116: SEC teams have ONE soft OOC game a year? Try most of them. And your dismissal of the Pac 10 has no basis in reality.

The idea that USC coasts through the season without injuries is flat out wrong. Last year the loss of the top 4 fullbacks was a huge factor in the problems in the running game. Also the defensive back field was decimated and there were some key injuries on the OL.. Of course since last years USC team was so young most of the injured players are now back having to compete with the guys who replaced them. That depth is why I think USC is going to have a really good year.

I rescind my comment.

Dammit, I knew tOSUBusckeyes was too good to be true.

And everyone jumped my ass for calling him a bitch….tOSUBuckeyes/Jeff from LA = Guy whose girl got the train ran on her by the ‘05 D from BAMA….I’d be pissed too

you guys are owned. by tOSUBuckeyes. he seriously just owned the sec with his comments. the sec sucks. if you can’t accept that then you’re stupid. i dont even need to give reasons. its just so obvious.

but i can understand the sec pride and you gotta root for your school. if you went to a sorry ass sec school then i definitely feel bad for you. where did you go for undergrad? to have to answer that question with “auburn” or “alabama”…that’d be sad. id cry. those schools are ass. hate to be mean and generalize but if you are honest with yourself you know those schools are ass.

funniest thing ever was when arkansas visited the coliseum and their players chanted as they came down the tunnel “we own…sc”, mocking the fans chant of we ARE sc. then after the first quarter when the score was 28-0 and sc scored 4 TD’s on 9 plays…they focused on the arkansas players on the sideline and they had that “i just got neutered” look. classic…yeah okay, i guess you really own sc. just like the sec owns the pac 10, right?

get a life sec fans.

Do you honestly expect your low opinion of SEC graduates to be taken seriously when you can’t capitalize letters, use correct punctuation, or even bother to include both subjects and objects in sentences?

Give it up, calvin. We all know your punk bitch ass had to go look up “neutered” on dictionary.com.

Orson, hang on to TCOAN….you had me @ “punk bitch ass”.

CarpstoneAlum-

Why the trash talk on Jeff from LA. He just played the entire blog(including myself). Brilliant reposte sir!

The MEAC smokes all your bitch asses, SEC or Pac-10.

And Jeff/tOSU, you take as many monikers as you need, man.

Back the truck up here folks….my last post was #130…not sure who is posting under my moniker….Jeff from LA…but I can assure you that my posts are from a legit Ohio State fan.

I have to admit though, hatred for the SEC creates some strange bedmates….not that I hate the entire SEC…just Bama/Auburn fans (the worst in the SEC), Les Miles, and sort of kind of don’t like Meyer (probably just because of the ass raping he put on my sweatervest).

Hmm.

I guess Orson’s computer majick can reveal the truth. Either way, I like the tOSU Buckeyes persona.

Orson, please sled the light needed on this…if I’m going to be hated I want to be hated for my own comments…

We’ll check and verify here, as soon as we get through looking for videos of people hurling during competitive eating contests.

The drama increases.

I want to emphatically state that even though I’m a USC fan in SoCal (like Jeff from LA) as well as being a tOSU grad, I’m not that same person (or persons) as Jeff/tOSU.

DC Trojan….err I mean

Yup, it looks like Jeff in LA was pretending to be tOSU Buckeyes. They are different IP addresses (from the first “I agree with TCOAN” post up to post 150 was the Jeff from LA IP, while the tOSU Buckeyes IP is on the posts before and after that section.

shrug Seems to me like Jeff from LA was up to some mischief.

Self Esteem Conference

If I somehow get caught up in the “Jeffgate” investigation, my stock response to every question will be “I can’t recall”.

I think Jeff from LA WAS up to some mischief. And so was tOSU. And probably maskedavenger. And also DC Trojan. And the guy who tried to make himself stand apart from the others by typing in all lower-case. Man, tOSU, et al, you are a loser. I mean, cheating is accepted in most college sports, but blog posting. C’mon!

Sweet 7lb, 13oz baby Jesus in a basket, y’all are worse than fucking Girl Scout Troop #559 (Holla!!!). I get 10 minutes a day on Daddy’s dial-up and I have to read 100 comments about tOSU and some fruit basket from LA? This site sucks worse than Mr Miles’ Halloween Party last year. He dressed up as Frankenstein, but didn’t paint his face or anything, so he just looked like Bobby Boudreaux (the town mongoloid), and worse, he smelled like Grabby Uncle Lou who hugs a little too long. Which reminds me why I came back here.
Mr Chmura – I think I’m a little old for you, Short Eyes.

I gotta go watch Kim Possible now.
Fuckers!!!1

Cardiac Kids: shenanigans, never! Attempting to have multiple blog personas would require that I have one to start with.

I am Spartacus!

to # 33. USC plays at Cal, at Nebraska, at ND, and has UCLA. That might be easier or harder than LSU schedule. Only time will tell. #127 is spot on correct and has finally exposed the truth that SEC coaches and fans cant take. I cant wait until the Trojans hand the the Tigers their heasd in the National Championship Game.

As if my personal opinion wasn’t enough to convince you people that USC’s schedule is just as tough if not tougher than LSU’s schedule, our good friend Mark Schlabach has weighed in on the subject.

He’s got USC with the 4th hardest schedule in the country; LSU didn’t make the top 10.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/columns/story?columnist=schlabach_mark&id=2923693

This is the most real and horrific story I’ve ever relayed. It’s sooooooooooo hurting!

Ha ha, the Junkies are stoopid.

Touche, Orson. The Sports Junkies totally bought it. You are a master of your craft.

bah! bah! Dude look like a Hayley!

Sorry guys, no mischief was intended.

I was intending to praise tOSUBuckeyes in my post but without thinking, I accidentally typed that part in the name required section instead of in my actual post, that’s why I immediately put please ignore the first post, as soon as I realized my mistake. I was hoping Orson would notice the mistake and not post it.

Sorry tOSU for the mistake, there was no intent to misappropriate your identity. I blame it on the fact I was watching tv while typing out the post.

No problem Jeff, we’re all good…that is until next september when you guys come to the Shoe. Now that is going to be an epic series, in season as it should be, just like when we played Texas, with the winner being in the drivers seat for the National Championship game.

Yeah, LSU gets to play toughies like Kentucky, Vandy, Miss St., Ole Miss

LSU should just leave the SEC. They are enough of a power to make it on their own without the conference affiliation, right? As an independent, they could play USC and OSU every year and then wouldn’t have to complain about any type of bias. Of course then they would have to listen to Urban Meyer whine about how “LSU doesn’t play the caliber of oponents that the SEC schools do…”

USC fan is still banging the Arkansas drum? Bloody hell, they played a WR at QB, McFadden attempted to play with a broken foot, and they turned the football over 5 times in what the first game of the year? “We beat the SEC West Champs!”

Give me a fucking break.

Just about every saturday SEC teams have to worry about their SEC opponents. There is always the chance that a slip up could lose the game, therefore cost them a run at the National Championship. When in the past 4 years has anyone thought that USC wouldn’t dominate their opponent. This is because the rest of their schedule is on a slightly lower playing field, not because they are that much better than everyone in the country. That’s where the strength of schedule arguement comes into play. USC is just as good as any SEC team, but when you don’t really get that many chances to mess up you probably won’t. Without a doubt the SEC has multiple National Championship contenders every year. When USC went for their “3-peat ???” they only won 1-1/2 out of 3 games. This only a 50% winning record playing this caliber of team. That would not make you a “dynasty” in the SEC. As far as Les goes, I was indifferent about his coaching abilities. But since he was the person who finally stood up and said something about that whore of a 6th grader (it needed to be done), I think he’s got the balls to lead a team.

While at Okla state he was 16-16 in conference. thats perfection isn’t it. I mean who could ever forget that great COME FROM BEHIND victory over Southern Miss. in the Houston Bowl. ( only victory in a bowl game while at okla st.) This is like Nick Saban bagging on the Big Ten while getting dumped 12 times by 21 points or more and going 19-14 in Big Ten play. By the way Carpet bagger NICK missed out on Wisc or ohio state 4/5 years. Hats off to Nick in at least recognizing OSU, Mich and penn state. Of course he forgot to mention Wisconsin and purdue Ironically he was 2-5-1 against those two. Dont forget 10/19 wins were against Indiana and Illinios. Not soooo impressive HUH. These two clowns should just shut up.

Let me set the record straight here…SEC is the best conference in football. If USC did have the balls to play such powerhouses throughout the year, they would not even be thinking about a BCS or even much CBS. And of course USC and the Pac-10 puts up alot of offensive numbers, only because your opponents defense is equal to a bunch of rice-paddy warriors…If LSU does manage to make it through this tough schedule, then USC will get manhandled not only on offense but on defense. USC has beat Arkansas and Auburn a few years back. Arkansas got hot at the end of the season, not on the first game of the season without McFadden (there whole team). And for the Notre Damned guy, please….LSU showed up drunk to the Sugar Bowl and molested Brady Quinn and his g/f…Go SEC, Go LSU, Fuck ya’ll

Cal just spanked bitch ass Tennesee. One of the mighty SEC titans of Les Miles fantasy world. So much for girly pants SEC defense.

SEC people of the Les Miles variety think they’ve got it tough, because they’re too busy in-breeding inorder to preserve family trees that look like recycling symbols, to be bothered to stay up and actually watch any Pac-10 football. Plus, we all know they’re too stupid to actually be able to read any critical analysis of same.

The only good team in the SEC is Florida. The rest are trash talking nothings that can only produce rankings by beating down on football teams from basketball schools, or schools where the most popular degree programs are Moonshinin’ and Homophobia for Homosexual Conservatives.

Roll on you Bears!

Oregon 2007 >>>>>> Michigan 2007

i just though i would say that whoever wrote this article is my new best friend.