FULMER CUP: ARKANSAS PLAYER REALLY LIKES HIS SPACE
by Orson on Jul 2, 2007 8:07 AM EDT
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When we hear "misdemeanor charges of public intoxication, disorderly conduct and third-degree assault," we usually think of one word: Dad. We remain confounded that Arkansas defensive end Donnell Sanders managed to pull off the Papa Swindle trifecta in such convincing fashion this weekend in Fayetteville, but we done seen it on the internet, so it must have happened.
Likes his space.
The details from the Pakistan of the United States
According to a preliminary police report, Sanders was seen leaning out of a car on Dickson Street and yelling at pedestrians. He then approached a man and shoved him down, the report said. The man was not injured.
According to the report, Sanders said he pushed the man because the man had "been in his space."
We're sure this all seemed logical at the time. Keep in mind that the arrest was made at four in the morning, a time when the only real positive steps being taken by mankind are either opting to vomit up excess liquor, the purchasing of additional condoms for the night's festivities, or deciding NOT to approach a slizzrd Pac Man Jones and his crew for an autograph at the Waffle House.
The charges yield one point a piece, totalling a score of three points for the Arkansas Razorbacks. Houston Nutt texted us in response to inquiries with "CNT W8 2 SEX U HOG-EE STILE!!!", but we think that was meant for someone else.
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I’m wondering if the transgression of “being in one’s space” is comparable in nature to “being all up in one’s business”.
by PeteJayhawk on Jul 2, 2007 8:15 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“Houston Nutt texted us in response to inquiries with "CNT W8 2 SEX U HOG-EE STILE!!!", but we think that was meant for someone else.”
It’s Arkansas. You sure about that?
by DevilGrad on Jul 2, 2007 8:28 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
It’s been far too quiet up in Fayettenam. Long overdue for some activity.
by drogue on Jul 2, 2007 8:53 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Shit! Born and raised in Mexico, lived in Belarus, and now I live in Pakistan? WTF?
by drogue on Jul 2, 2007 8:55 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I think I could have told you that Minnesota is Norway without looking, but I found the Alabama = Iran analogy to be strangely apt. As long as the Bammers don’t get nukes, we should be able to cope with the theocracy down there.
by DevilGrad on Jul 2, 2007 9:22 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Don’t hate the player, hate the space.
If UGA is in Switzerland, why do they keep bitching about the neutral site game in Jacksonville?
by Allahver Fist on Jul 2, 2007 9:27 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
California being France seems oddly appropriate too.
by sean on Jul 2, 2007 9:36 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You know who else got overly aggressive when it came to declaring and controlling his own space? Hitler.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 2, 2007 10:00 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Sanders was just teaching this guy proper myspace etiquette.
by PW on Jul 2, 2007 10:08 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I request that West Fuckin’ Virginia will now be referred to as Fuckin’ Algeria…you don’t have to worry about confusing it with the real Algeria since they probably aren’t Fuckin’.
by Matt on Jul 2, 2007 10:19 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Welcome to the Phillipines, bitches… we love you long time!
by cowboycane on Jul 2, 2007 10:20 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
side note, but it looks like Urban has decided to go all disciplinarian on some asses… Thought I should note it, since I commented on the lack before.
by Jonathan on Jul 2, 2007 10:33 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#2:
Georgians make you squeal like a pig.
by Raskolnikov on Jul 2, 2007 10:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
DevilGrad, we may not have the Nukes yet, but we definitely have the long-range missle systems.
My understanding is that David Bronner is in talks with Kim-Jong Il’s people to see about an exchange… appearantly Kim-Jong really likes peanuts.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 2, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“…been in his space…”, a physical impossibility as only one body can occupy a space at any one time…or is he speaking of ownership of a specific space, the title of which is somewhat clouded…or maybe he is defending the “final frontier”…what the fuck…
by sb on Jul 2, 2007 10:54 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
O-
Thanks for the link to the Map blog. My geography major self is loving it.
by Odell 51 on Jul 2, 2007 10:55 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Oh, and I’ve seen the bunda in Michigan… you sir are no Argentina
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 2, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Re #16: I’m glad to hear that y’all and Kim are still on speaking terms after he didn’t get the coaching job. (See Orson’s prior coverage.)
by DevilGrad on Jul 2, 2007 10:58 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Oh, Brother Dept:
So, if Arky is Pakistan or Paki, then, according to that map:
California is France? No way. France is full of a bunch of weenies.
by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Jul 2, 2007 11:10 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
DG, that whole thing (just like the rumors about Spurrior) was a ploy by Jimmy Sexton to distract everyone from Saban until the season was over. Illy (that’s what Jimmy calls him) and Jimmy were actually at Augusta with the OBC that day he pissed in the woods.
Jimmy is expecting 10% of whatever Kim-Jong gets for the Nukes.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 2, 2007 11:11 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I don’t want to live in a world where shoving a man down is third-degree assault. I find this to be a much more effective tactic than shouting a man down. If you’re shouting someone down, it’s been my experience that you will get punched in the face, which cannot happen if you’ve shoved a man down.
In conclusion, to avoid a fight, you should always shove someone to the ground. If you can get a member of your posse to kneel down behind them, even better. It looks really funny when a grown man gets pushed to the ground. Everyone will laugh.
Problem solved!
by jebushchrist on Jul 2, 2007 11:21 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Finally, my fears that I am surrounded by cheese eatin surrender monkeys are validated!
by Trojan Chica on Jul 2, 2007 11:26 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Sorry SKLM (#21), but my analysis also reveals that France is full of a bunch of weenies. Therefore, I conclude that Cali = France is a fair argument.
by Aerobab on Jul 2, 2007 11:29 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#24, Trojan Chica: Maybe Northern Cal is France and Southern Cal is Australia? Break up California if it means being compared to France!!! Calif is too big anyway, since it has double the GDP than the next biggest State in the US of A, which I think is TX.
by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Jul 2, 2007 11:33 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- - At first glance, it looked like you wrote “Orson has decided to go all disciplinarian on some asses,” which would have been even more mindblowing than if Urban did.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 2, 2007 11:35 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Im sure he was just looking for parking. Finding “space” on Dickson is a bitch.
by Port City Gangsta on Jul 2, 2007 12:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
And people scoffed the first time I mixed bourbon with port (and proceeded to bore people with stories of my Chilean upbringing).
by jakldawg on Jul 2, 2007 12:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Re #23: And North Korean state media reported that Illy shot a 47 — for eighteen.
by DevilGrad on Jul 2, 2007 1:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Malaysia? I can live with that. But I was born in South Africa, which makes me cool.
by PeteJayhawk on Jul 2, 2007 2:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You have to believe that the Pakistan squad is a sleeper for the Fulmer Cup.
As quiet as the offseason has been here, you know things are about to explode.
Really, Nutt is probably college football’s Kim Jong-Il. Acting like a complete fucktard, scaring the bejeezus out of everybody by putting D-Mc at QB and shit, but then imminently backing down and shitting the bed to finish off last season.
by Stephen Colboar on Jul 2, 2007 4:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Orson, and where’s the hat tip? Harumph harumph, indeed.
I’ve heard Michigan “bunda” is quite the flatness.
Israel and Oregon. Well, I guess communal living works for everyone.
by MCab on Jul 2, 2007 5:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- I am on blackberry patrol, then guarding the family wildflower patch for the week. I will be releasing the pit bulls on your sorry ass soon. LSU, Auburn we have a cupcake schedule and are coming so be ready!
by dixiehog on Jul 2, 2007 6:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
BTW, Massachusetts = Belgium is sheer fucking brilliance.
by DevilGrad on Jul 2, 2007 6:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
dixiehog, I have no idea what the fuck you are trying to say.
blackberry patrol
wildflowers
pitbulls
corndogs
cupcakes
WTF?
by Stephen Colboar on Jul 3, 2007 3:21 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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