LOLFUTBAWL: KENNY IRONS
Since it is Friday (and the only interesting thing we can see going on is one piddly arrest for FSU for a dude with an ancient warrant), we’ll resort to LOLFutbawl to keep us amused.
The subject this week is Kenny Irons, who if you’ll recall from earlier this week, keeps a midget in his suitcase for erotic purposes.
Midgets. Oral sex. The Irons Brothers. Life writes its own jokes. We just put them on a tin platter and present them to you, because with ingredients like these, the chef can only stand in the way of such succulent flavors.
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1
PeterPumpkinhead says:
I assume you’ll be selling 24″ poster versions of this in the EDSBS store, right? There needs to be a midget/suitcase tee as well, I just haven’t quite figured out exactly how to word it.
June 29th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
2
Bollocks says:
I don’t get it?
What was Nick Saban doing in Kenny Iron’s suitcase?
June 29th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
3
Tommy Boy says:
And the truth shall set you free!!
The real reason Kenny left South Carolina to go to Auburn is Holtz wouldn’t let the midget travel with the team.
June 29th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
4
Oops Pow Surprise says:
Guys, the Dat Nguyen jokes just aren’t funny. Give it up, Swindle.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
5
Out of Conference says:
Tommy Boy – actually I think it’s because Holtz refused to be Kenny’s midget.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
6
LSUJoshua says:
I’m not surprised by Irons fetish for manhadling small males the way he molested LSU players last year. That or the sootkase has something that incriminates referees along with the traveling midget. May the Loveliest Village on the Plains (plains? what plains? pine trees, hills and trailers is all I saw) burn down this October after LSU is done with the War Eagles.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
7
DC Trojan says:
actually I think it’s because Holtz refused to be Kenny’s midget.
Holtz could have removed his false teeth and really rocked Kenny’s world, but no.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
8
Cincy says:
[Cleaveland] “That’s jus wrong…” [/Cleaveland]
June 29th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
9
RaginCajunRebel says:
Oh no, Cincy. That’s juuuust right.
June 29th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
10
LemmeHearYaSayWarEagle says:
I don’t know why I’m pointing attention to this — it embarrassing but it must be shared. Dan Steinberg’s Sports Bog video clip last week features Jason Campbell behind the scenes at an Eastern Motors shoot here in DC saying that he isn’t “country” but is “Mediterranean, you know, all metro.” Auburn student-athletes raise your goblet of knowledge in respect!
June 29th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
11
oc phil says:
#4 Ooops Pow- You are 100% right about the Dat Nguyen jokes not being funny. So why do you keep making them? DN played at 5′11′, 238 pounds and was a very solid NFL linebacker. Are you really of such great stature to go around repeatedly calling someone that size a midget? Do you just assmue he is smaller because you hear an Asian name?
Holtz jokes are funny though.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
12
War Eagle says:
Dang it. I hate when this stuff is funny and it’s an Auburn Tiger as the butt of the joke.
But I take heart because ridicule is respect. I learned that from my UA,T friends.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
13
King Harvest says:
Keny Irons looks as if he is unhinging his jaw to bite the head off of that midget, not at all unlike what a fat person would do to an ice cream cone.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
14
Phil K. says:
im in ur hotel, commitin lude acts
June 29th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
15
Oops Pow Surprise says:
#11 – Settle down, Mrs. Nguyen, your son isn’t actually affected by any comments on here.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
16
PeterPumpkinhead says:
King, I think he’s just correcting the midget’s technique
June 29th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
17
Texas Gal says:
I’m thankful Mr. Irons continued the brilliant tradition of writing numbers on his eyeblack. With Reggie Bush, it helped when I forgot which area code he lived in. With Kenny, it helps when I forget which number he wears, despite it appearing in 4 places on the jersey he wears.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
18
War Eagle says:
Texas – it’s so he knows he’s Kenny and not David.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
19
Herb says:
“Fuck you doughboy, I can read! You see that shoe? It says Adidas.”
“I taught him that.”
June 29th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
20
Red Andrews says:
Damn, near shat my pants when I saw that photo. I can has adult diaper? Thank you so much that.
Sincerely,
The BearMeats
June 29th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
21
Texas Gal says:
War Eagle: Except- he can’t see the numbers on his own eyeblack. I think it’s more for David- so he knows he’s not Kenny.
June 29th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
22
jakldawg says:
Re: 4, 11, 15. There’s something in common with jokes about Dat Nguyen and jokes by Dat Phan: Neither one’s all that funny.
June 29th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
23
NewAZTiger says:
I swear, if you cover a midget in Swiffer and then give him some PCP, your house will never ever have a dust ball in it again.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
24
NewAZTiger says:
Laugh, Butches, Laugh.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
25
John in Hsv says:
Oz is a more happening place than I thought.
War yellow brick road.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
26
Newspaper Hack says:
At Alabama, players win national championships, not Heismans. But, hey, when you’re Auburn, you have to hold on to what you can.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
27
NewAZTiger says:
Yes, that’s why we hugged Brodie Croyle so much.
June 30th, 2007 at 8:17 am
28
King Harvest says:
Texas Girl – Outstanding point of view!
New AZ – You are absolutely correct. I have two myself (one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs) The key is to keep them leashed so that control is never lost, especially when all of the cleaning is done and the PCP high is still going at mach 2. You know what they say, “idle hands….
June 30th, 2007 at 9:12 am
29
oc phil says:
#25 At some schools they win both Heismans and national championships.
June 30th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
30
NewAZTiger says:
oc phil – you still have a lot to learn about Bammers.
Rule #1 – Don’t confuse them with “facts”. If you use facts on a Bammer, they immediately shut down the last two firing neurons (conveniently held together by a spirochete) and return to the comfortable home of “We got 12 National Champeenships” and “Tradishuuuunnnn”.
July 1st, 2007 at 4:23 pm
31
oc phil says:
I’m in awe of the ferocity on both sides of the Auburn/Alabama fights.
The Arkansas and UCLA fans take the cake for self-destrutive frenzy, but the Iron Bowl rivalry is the most intense case of mutual hatred out there.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:29 am
32
HFS says:
Guys, the numbers are on his eye black so he knows which ones are his in the locker room before the game. Duh.
Instead of posters for the EDSBS store, this has luggage tag written all over it. On the flip side, put lines for name, address, phone number and name/ethnicity of midget.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:51 am