LOLFUTBAWL: KENNY IRONS
by Orson on Jun 29, 2007 2:47 PM EDT
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PrintSince it is Friday (and the only interesting thing we can see going on is one piddly arrest for FSU for a dude with an ancient warrant), we'll resort to LOLFutbawl to keep us amused.
The subject this week is Kenny Irons, who if you'll recall from earlier this week, keeps a midget in his suitcase for erotic purposes.
Midgets. Oral sex. The Irons Brothers. Life writes its own jokes. We just put them on a tin platter and present them to you, because with ingredients like these, the chef can only stand in the way of such succulent flavors.
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I assume you’ll be selling 24" poster versions of this in the EDSBS store, right? There needs to be a midget/suitcase tee as well, I just haven’t quite figured out exactly how to word it.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jun 29, 2007 2:50 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t get it?
What was Nick Saban doing in Kenny Iron’s suitcase?
by Bollocks on Jun 29, 2007 2:58 PM EDT reply actions
And the truth shall set you free!!
The real reason Kenny left South Carolina to go to Auburn is Holtz wouldn’t let the midget travel with the team.
by Tommy Boy on Jun 29, 2007 2:58 PM EDT reply actions
Guys, the Dat Nguyen jokes just aren’t funny. Give it up, Swindle.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jun 29, 2007 3:15 PM EDT reply actions
Tommy Boy – actually I think it’s because Holtz refused to be Kenny’s midget.
by Out of Conference on Jun 29, 2007 3:15 PM EDT reply actions
I’m not surprised by Irons fetish for manhadling small males the way he molested LSU players last year. That or the sootkase has something that incriminates referees along with the traveling midget. May the Loveliest Village on the Plains (plains? what plains? pine trees, hills and trailers is all I saw) burn down this October after LSU is done with the War Eagles.
by LSUJoshua on Jun 29, 2007 3:26 PM EDT reply actions
actually I think it’s because Holtz refused to be Kenny’s midget.
Holtz could have removed his false teeth and really rocked Kenny’s world, but no.
by DC Trojan on Jun 29, 2007 3:28 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t know why I’m pointing attention to this — it embarrassing but it must be shared. Dan Steinberg’s Sports Bog video clip last week features Jason Campbell behind the scenes at an Eastern Motors shoot here in DC saying that he isn’t “country” but is “Mediterranean, you know, all metro.” Auburn student-athletes raise your goblet of knowledge in respect!
by LemmeHearYaSayWarEagle on Jun 29, 2007 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
- Ooops Pow- You are 100% right about the Dat Nguyen jokes not being funny. So why do you keep making them? DN played at 5’11’, 238 pounds and was a very solid NFL linebacker. Are you really of such great stature to go around repeatedly calling someone that size a midget? Do you just assmue he is smaller because you hear an Asian name?
Holtz jokes are funny though.
by oc phil on Jun 29, 2007 4:04 PM EDT reply actions
Dang it. I hate when this stuff is funny and it’s an Auburn Tiger as the butt of the joke.
But I take heart because ridicule is respect. I learned that from my UA,T friends.
by War Eagle on Jun 29, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
Keny Irons looks as if he is unhinging his jaw to bite the head off of that midget, not at all unlike what a fat person would do to an ice cream cone.
by King Harvest on Jun 29, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions
- - Settle down, Mrs. Nguyen, your son isn’t actually affected by any comments on here.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jun 29, 2007 4:14 PM EDT reply actions
King, I think he’s just correcting the midget’s technique
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jun 29, 2007 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
I’m thankful Mr. Irons continued the brilliant tradition of writing numbers on his eyeblack. With Reggie Bush, it helped when I forgot which area code he lived in. With Kenny, it helps when I forget which number he wears, despite it appearing in 4 places on the jersey he wears.
by Texas Gal on Jun 29, 2007 4:19 PM EDT reply actions
Texas – it’s so he knows he’s Kenny and not David.
by War Eagle on Jun 29, 2007 4:31 PM EDT reply actions
“Fuck you doughboy, I can read! You see that shoe? It says Adidas.”
“I taught him that.”
by Herb on Jun 29, 2007 4:40 PM EDT reply actions
Damn, near shat my pants when I saw that photo. I can has adult diaper? Thank you so much that.
Sincerely,
The BearMeats
by Red Andrews on Jun 29, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions
War Eagle: Except- he can’t see the numbers on his own eyeblack. I think it’s more for David- so he knows he’s not Kenny.
by Texas Gal on Jun 29, 2007 6:23 PM EDT reply actions
Re: 4, 11, 15. There’s something in common with jokes about Dat Nguyen and jokes by Dat Phan: Neither one’s all that funny.
by jakldawg on Jun 29, 2007 6:44 PM EDT reply actions
I swear, if you cover a midget in Swiffer and then give him some PCP, your house will never ever have a dust ball in it again.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 29, 2007 10:43 PM EDT reply actions
Oz is a more happening place than I thought.
War yellow brick road.
by John in Hsv on Jun 29, 2007 10:56 PM EDT reply actions
At Alabama, players win national championships, not Heismans. But, hey, when you’re Auburn, you have to hold on to what you can.
by Newspaper Hack on Jun 29, 2007 11:58 PM EDT reply actions
Yes, that’s why we hugged Brodie Croyle so much.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 30, 2007 9:17 AM EDT reply actions
Texas Girl – Outstanding point of view!
New AZ – You are absolutely correct. I have two myself (one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs) The key is to keep them leashed so that control is never lost, especially when all of the cleaning is done and the PCP high is still going at mach 2. You know what they say, "idle hands….
by King Harvest on Jun 30, 2007 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
- At some schools they win both Heismans and national championships.
by oc phil on Jun 30, 2007 4:34 PM EDT reply actions
oc phil – you still have a lot to learn about Bammers.
Rule #1 – Don’t confuse them with “facts”. If you use facts on a Bammer, they immediately shut down the last two firing neurons (conveniently held together by a spirochete) and return to the comfortable home of “We got 12 National Champeenships” and “Tradishuuuunnnn”.
by NewAZTiger on Jul 1, 2007 5:23 PM EDT reply actions
I’m in awe of the ferocity on both sides of the Auburn/Alabama fights.
The Arkansas and UCLA fans take the cake for self-destrutive frenzy, but the Iron Bowl rivalry is the most intense case of mutual hatred out there.
by oc phil on Jul 2, 2007 3:29 AM EDT reply actions
Guys, the numbers are on his eye black so he knows which ones are his in the locker room before the game. Duh.
Instead of posters for the EDSBS store, this has luggage tag written all over it. On the flip side, put lines for name, address, phone number and name/ethnicity of midget.
by HFS on Jul 2, 2007 9:51 AM EDT reply actions
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