TRAITOR'S DRAFT ONE (BELATED)

No theft of Humanity Advanced for that nifty option package down in Gainesville?

Arkansas would love to poach a QB from USC. They have a kid, formerly #1 rated HS QB named Mitch something. He’d be a great fit for the Hogs.

Honestly, I don’t have a particular player, so much as a position that I’d like to draft, and that’s a QB…any QB.

Currently, Brent Schaeffer is getting beat out by a former walk on transfer from Delta State. Yes, a former Fighting Okra QB is leading for the starting QB job over a former Volunteer QB. We’re in a world of hurt right now. I’d be ecstatic to have Casey Dick at this point.

There’s a part two coming. McFadden is in that.

I’ll take a quarterback. Any QB, really. Except that kid from Miss State. Shit, I’ll probably take him, too.

Um, that Darren McFadden guy seems pretty good in a Herschel Walker kind of way. My #1 pick fo sho.

Traitor draft, huh? We could use a receiver at Minnesota for our new EXCITING! spread offense. Mario Manningham would be a nice fit.

ya know rebel84, if you take Casey Dick away, we’re left with a transfer from Missouri Southern and another Dick. I totally emphasize with the shitty QB situation.

However, this Mitch youngster at USC sounds interesting…does he have an overbearing mother? We LOVE those!

Rutgers could use an upgrade at QB. Sorry Mike Teel, but if I can grab, say, Brian Brohm from Louisville – I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Defense for Rutgers was solid, but graduation leaves them a little thin at linebacker. Brandon Renkart and Manny Abreu could use a strong middle linebacker to help them out. Ben Moffitt and his 112 tackles last year for USF would be a great fit. I’d take him.

Receivers were a problem for Rutgers last year too. As much as I like Kenny Britt’s upside; I’d be happy if Rutgers could swing Darius Reynaud of West Fucking Virginia or Mario Urrutia of Louisville. Actually, Urrutia is taller and could reach for those “misfires” that come from Teel from time to time. Screw it, I’m raiding Louisville. Urrutia to Rutgers!

So it’s Brohm, Moffitt, and Urrutia to the Block R. Yep. Now I’m off to See Ray Run (type it in one of those URLs).

er…empathize. damn combination Southern/Midwestern educashun.

Pikachu, I choose you!

Coming from an Ole Miss family I’d say that until Colonel Rebel is traded or given a proper burial the team is perenially fucked. Karma’s a bitch in a sundress and heels.

Good God I miss football season.

spiller or slaton would be nice at UF. mcfadden too, of course, but the other two are perfectly fit for some crazy option fun.

I’d like a somewhat proven qb at tOSU. Does Jamarcus Russell have the super power where he can clone himself? Also, in Round 2 I’d take Percy Harvin or maybe Mario Manningham. How white of a name is Brian Robiskie? That can’t be good, right?

the thought of the pain that could be inflicted with a combination Tebow/McFadden offense is giving me a priapism

The scary thing about the Hogs’ backfield is, if you told me I couldn’t have McFadden but left me Felix Jones, I’d still be pretty happy.

So is this simply a steal a player or is it I’d trade this player for that?

Will anyone be able to steal Jerrell Powe? Maybe he could go to USC. I think his mom and Beck Campbell would get along well.

It’s too bad Baylor’s Bearmeat hasn’t gotten in on this. My guess is they would take John David Crow and Tony Nobis (as they are in present day) and put them at their old offensive positions.

Would suiting up a pair of 70 year olds help them on the field? no. But when you are Baylor, the glee of watching Texas and TAMU players forcibly crush their own school’s icons might warm a cockle or two.

ya know Billy – Peyton Hillis and Mike Smith aren’t bad #3 and #4 options either. If only we had a QB who could complete, say, 55% of his passes?

Henig Rebels? Really?

Re: Andre Smith video – reminds me of Richard Pryor talking about George Foreman – “Which one the referee? ‘Cause I’m gonna kill the other motherfucker.”

For the Longhorns, I’d draft that walking eclipse of an Aggie fullback (Javorski Lane?) – pains me to say it, but we could use that guy.

To No. 12, we have many other things besides Colonel Reb that are mucking up our karma. He’s the least of our karma worries.

Don’t get me wrong. We’re a sorry ass athletic program, but other sorry ass athletic programs have Cinderella years where it all falls into place (see Northwestern’s Rose Bowl, Wake Forest 2006, Mississippi State’s Final Four, etc.). Whenever we do have a team capable of making a Cinderella run, we end up with Bryce Drew or the Lou Groza winner missing 2 FGs in a 3 point loss to eventual national champion LSU. Karma not only hates us, but Karma has sex with our wives in front of us and laughs about it.

Saban says ALL YOUR DEFENSIVE LINEMEN ARE BELONG TO US

Jerkwheat, I’ve always wondered whether the Wildcat package was a reflection of Houston Nutt just liking his running backs so much that he decided to cut out the middle man on handoffs, or his complete lack of confidence in Casey Dick to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Oh and folks a note on my esteemed Mr. Dorsey — he played most of last season with a stress fracture in his leg (actually thats really why he didn’t come out in the draft). Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It’s gone under-reported, but UofL, after yrs of very balanced offense, was forced to be pass-heavy last yr, and I fear we’re no better this yr. So I’ll take me some Ray Rice, since Slaton will shirley be gone by the time I pick.

My first thought was Trindon Holliday.

Holliday + James + Harvin = Death By Speed!

Watchoo Takin’ Bout’ Dept:

1. - Allahver Fist – Very interesting comment about trading Colonel Rebel to another team.

How about sending Col Rebel on permanent loan to Grambling Univ, and getting a new mascot, perhaps the first Black one in college football.

Yeah, how about Gary Coleman. The “Ole Miss Fighting Gary Colemans”. He is still working (union scale), kind of entertaining and is so little, like Notre Dame’s Leperchaun, that he would not strike that much fear into the fans of Ole Miss, especially those that still dress like Potsie, Joanie and Ralph Mouph at their games.

Gimme Marcus Monk, would love for Matty Flynn to have another proven WR…also, one who leaps over buildings and very well may be the man inside the chicken costume on Family Guy.

Quentin Groves is entering his eleventh year for auburn. The au AD has been forced to change his jersey to read “Groves Jr.” because Quentin’s son will be joining the squad. That is how long that fucker has been at auburn.

“With the first selection in the the 2007 SEC draft, Mississippi State selects Andre Woodson, quarterback, the University of Kentucky. The University of Mississippi is now on the clock.”

Dear Andre Woodson,

Forgot your school, break the handcuffs, move sumthin’, and if they ask you what you doin’, say “oooh, nuthin!”

Signed,

Your friends at LSU

Since we are TB heavy, I will pass on McFadden. However, I would love to have Tebow, paired with Davis and Spiller. Korn can watch in awe and start hitting the “supplements.”

So…

1. Tebow
2. Andre Smith
3. Texas WR named Limas or Maningham
4. Dorsey
5. Jasper Brinkley – would fit nicely

I’ll take virtually any DT or LB currently starting for most any SEC team. Yes, we are that thin at Alabama. Saban’s going to have to arm them to stop the run.

#23
I’m still rootin’ for the [MASCOT REDACTED] every game except when my broke-from-family-tradition-and-went-to-Florida Gators appear on the other side of the wormhole to play their Bizarro WTFootball in Oxford.

#28
I feel the Ole Miss alumni could be persuaded for a Fighting Gary Coleman, but his kidneys are only so-so and thus his shelf life is weak. If cloning technology could allow the Fighting Colemans to keep a lineage it could happen. Who wouldn’t want to take their grandkids by the habitat to see the ferocious Gary Coleman IV? Probably a sweatshirt promo deal in there too.

Gamecocks select the entire Gator starting o-line.

For those that don’t know, in the wake of losing Colonel Reb from the sidelines, we have unofficially replaced him with a former drummer from our band named Marcus.

Marcus is about 6’5, 200 (meaning skinny), with an afro that puts him somewhere close to the 6’10 range. He was in our band for 5 or 6 years I think (don’t tell the NCAA or we’ll get the death penalty), and now he roams the sideline with a microphone in front of the student section. There is just a little bit of irony in all of this somewhere.

The florida gators select Felix Jones with the last pick of the first round.

Marcus is a pretty cool guy. I was in band for 3 years with him – he played one of the larger bass drums. He definitely belongs in front of the student section. Crazy.

Speaking for Trojan fans, the first draft pick would be painful, but easy: DeSean Jackson…

Robert – 37 – I think we’d just as easily grab a few of the second stringers as well. I wish we were even half as well stacked at O-line as we are on defense.

Is this limited to players? If not, I’d like to steal the song girl squad and put a real SC on their chests!

USC FAN Drafts from Pac 10 Team:

…envelope please…….Ms. Sara Jean Underwood from Oregon State.

She would fit right in with the Song Girls!!!!

http://www.answers.com/topic/sara-jean-underwood

For the Sun Devils, it’s been eons since we’ve had a really hellacious defense, so I’d put all my attention on that side of the ball. Antone Cason, Laurence Jackson, Brian Cushing, Ray Mauluga, Sedrick Ellis…come on down!

Thanks Stacy Keibler Luvs Me, I’m getting an idea for a future cheesecake from that. Maybe Orson and the gang could come up with a conference cheesecake. Every week there would be a different conference featured. Unless there were a surplus of Sara Jean Underwood pics and then I would settle for that for a few Fridays at least. W00t!!

#38

I think the Gamecocks would just about take anyone. Is there anyone from Vanderbilt they can steal from?

Me-Sean Jackson? Why would Trojan fans want Me-Sean Jackson when he brings us so more joy getting shut down by our CBs, and killed by our linebackers and tackles. My favorite moment of the season was watching MeSean lying on the ground helmet-less and crying for his mommy (see here: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/stewart_mandel/06/21/10.games/index.html)

On the other hand, are we allowed to draft coaches? I’d love to have Boise St’s Chris Petersen as an O-Coordinator.

Hmm, the formatting for that post came out a little weird.

I’d take any of the first three WR starters from USC.

Added Bonus – you get their “Invisible-to-the-NCAA” bankroll.

Second Round – Mike Leach. Gotta have a pirate if you’re stealing Booty’s booty.

New AZ- That seems a strange pick to me. WR is the only unit on the team not made up of mostly (or all) veteran players at USC this year. They have great potential but Turner is the only one who has played much so far.

Sorry there is no payroll.

oc phil, AU has a tendency to find sick RBs, USC finds sick WRs. And I didn’t say there was a payroll, only the bankroll. There is a difference.

Mike Leach is mine

The Fighting Illini select a monkey who makes his playcalls by flinging his poop at the playcall screen in Tecmo Bowl to replace [Name Redacted]