MALCOLM KELLY, FREESTYLE GENIUS

by Orson on Jun 26, 2007 1:37 PM EDT

As a breather from accusing the New York Yankees of being marginal partners in genocide, we bring you Malcolm Kelly, Oklahoma wide receiver, goin' freestyle after the Sooners' Big 12 Championship win over Nebraska.

We'd talk some more, but we gotta sip some codeine 'cause we gotta kill a cough. (Purple Drank, lawya. Nothin' less.) Take the mic, Malcolm.

Let us say that Kelly's not bad--he's got that rubber-mouthed Dirty South, UGK thing going for him in the rhymes department. And it's hard not to like the "'Coz I'm a playa, from the Himalaya" line, especially because he might be insinuating that his true identity is that of the Yeti, which is VHT, indeed.

Too bad dope rhymez don't get you past Boise State. BURRRRRRRN SSSSSS!!! He could blame too much purple drank, however; it worked for DJ Screw, after all.

Tweet Comment 19 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I just think it’s very dangerous, all of these athletes driving in cars sideways.

by Y2K on Jun 26, 2007 1:40 PM EDT reply actions

He’s right— they totally diminished the Nebraska Hornhuskers.

by PW on Jun 26, 2007 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

Sip the sizzurp harder, boys, it can only result in more funny for the rest of us.

by Signal to Noise on Jun 26, 2007 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

yeah,

but could he take Saban with that weak ass shit?

by ness on Jun 26, 2007 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

link..

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=3461

by ness on Jun 26, 2007 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

This isn’t going to turn into a thread of people posting rhymes, is it?

by jebushchrist on Jun 26, 2007 2:26 PM EDT reply actions

No more rhymes, I mean it!

by Floyd on Jun 26, 2007 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

You want a peanut?

by oc phil on Jun 26, 2007 2:42 PM EDT reply actions

As long as the university doesn’t undercharge for Purple Drank.

by Orangeblood on Jun 26, 2007 2:44 PM EDT reply actions

If this were Rick Ross, we could just rhyme the same thing nine times in a row.

I really like that purple drank
Yeah, you know, that purple drank
My favorite ho named Purple Drank
If I was drinkin’ Purple Drank
On a boat called Purple Drank
I would drink some Purple Drank
With that ho named Purple Drank.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 26, 2007 3:00 PM EDT reply actions

And it’s hard not to like the "‘Coz I’m a playa, from the Himalaya" line, especially because he might be insinuating that his true identity is that of the Yeti, which is VHT, indeed.

Phil Steele’s shorthand is spreading.

by The New Math: 86=1 on Jun 26, 2007 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

Let us know how your new contract with Def Jam works out, O.

by Jerkwheat on Jun 26, 2007 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

I guess there’s not too many words that rhyme with Zabransky, are there?

by Scalz1 on Jun 26, 2007 4:26 PM EDT reply actions

So does OU need a QB who can rhyme, or will they just take anyone at this point?

by SlickBomb on Jun 26, 2007 4:30 PM EDT reply actions

You can call him the cough medicine curmudgeon.

by Trojan Chica on Jun 26, 2007 4:56 PM EDT reply actions

Re: yankee genocide, it took 14 hours and 13 minutes for a libber to flip out. And he lives in China, which is even better. Perhaps I’ve grown used to the salty sarcasm here at EDSBS, but can’t anyone take a freakin’ joke?

It was pretty much a joke, right?

by Jon hates Russian spammers and UofA on Jun 27, 2007 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

To #16…that’s the great thing about capitalism! We’re all partners in our own demise!

I’m gonna go back to sucking on my Pizza Hut pizza and jamming to Billy Joel. Nothing like a good pissed off Asian with a confused understanding of English.

by peterpancomplex on Jun 27, 2007 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

Man, it’s a good thing that no kids ever had a good time in the heat of the moment, hanging out with all of their friends, ‘cause I’d hate to think of all the ammo that it could give a bunch of dorky motherf*ckers on the internet who are probably p*ssed that #4 put a few 6’s on them. Jus’ sayin’.

by Danny M. on Jun 30, 2007 9:47 PM EDT reply actions

Jon—

Yup. And heaven knows we know nothing about China, especially compared to someone who lives there! OMG!!! Geography makes you an expert automatically.

by Orson Swindle on Jul 1, 2007 3:21 PM EDT reply actions