FULMER, THE CUDDLY SIDE.

Amen. Seeing as this got a post of its own, and I probably won’t follow the rules anyway…I’m switching my designated coach-to-hate-on back to my old standby – Bobby Bowden.

Further prood that the real Orson is still waiting in line for the Rio seafood buffet.

What!?! No post regarding the laughable disciplinary system and PSU? Two players arrested with possible felony and misdemeanor, and they were “expelled” from school for the second term of summer school. Accoring to their lawyers, they will be able to practice in the fall and will be eligible to play during the season. That is, unless they are convicted by the court!!!!!

What a joke.

Your regularly scheduled evil blogger will return shortly following this brief dose of reality.

How did my world not spin right off it’s axis after reading that?

Barry Alvarez’s son microwaved a parrot. Just saying in case, you know, you want to hate Wisconsin.

wertz—it’s on the way. It’s famine season, we have to ration out the food a bit.

I get most of your references, which is either a credit or disgrace to my many years of public education, but I do not understand the Solomon Grundy reference.

I thought SG = the Orgeron. Is that not correct anymore, or is SG merely representative of somebody who is big and dumb and causes destruction and refers to himself in 3rd person?

Solomon Grundy SMASH! Solomon Grundy KILL!

Well Orson, there goes the 2007 rules. I know Phil is an easy target (and I fully support blasting Gene Alphabetsoup), but didn’t you agree to keep it to 1 coach this year?

You are an addict sir.

Well, Barry Alvarez’s son gets my vote for Most Hilarious Animal Abuse 2007.

Pete, I think it happened about 10 years ago. I was just making up for the karmic imbalance caused by Fulmer doing something go…goo…not wrong.

That was a carrot, not a parrot.

“You are an addict sir.”

My name is Orson Swindle, and I…I have a football problem. And a drinking problem. Oh, and I’m addicted to Brazillian prostitutes. And co-fucking-caine! Ahh, fuck it…let’s go bowling.

[/Swindle]

Don’t forget NCAA and Mercenaries.

BTW, Stranko’s keeping track of our violations of the rules. So we’re already down one point.

Mmm….chicken in bread pin picking out dough….

You could’ve at least mentioned that the phone Fulmer uses to call the kids has cheese doodle smudges on it. Sheesh.

Despite our well-formed and culturally acceptable dislike, loathing and burning hate for the coaches of all of our respective foes, most of these folks are genuinely decent to good guys. They are competitive, obviously, and can’t let Coach Hoeppener make them look bad.

Except, of course, for (fill in the blank) and (fill in the blank).

Orson, if a man is not evil-hearted, are his anger-oily tits not still as big?

This is Orson Swindle. He’s a rock and roll clown. He does cocaine. Thats all we know about him.

“Don’t forget NCAA and Mercenaries.”

There really should be an Official EDSBS NCAA 08 Tournament.

Oh, and Mercenaries BOOM!

Jerkwheat—we bounce up and down in our chairs every time we think about that game’s impending release. We’re jonesing to bring down a huge airstrike on a single, helpless sim.

Mercenaries 2 and NCAA 08 (specifically the 99 rating for McFadden and inclusion of the Wildcat) are going to lead to me finally purchasing a 360 or a PS3.

I now share your orgasmic joy with each new trailer for M2. Perhaps TCOAN and Miss Wheat will need to form a support group.

Surely this is an elaborate plot concocted by Satan’s retarded cousin (AKA Phil)? Dammit. Did I just give Fulmer credit for an elaborate plot? Impossible! Universe… collapsing… on itself… must… reconcile… irreconcilable!…

Orson doesn’t like cocaine, he just likes how it smells.

Re #11: No, that was a real, live (well, at least it started that way) parrot. I linked the particulars in my Fulmer Cup pre-season preview. I still consider that to be one of the seminal events of the pre-Fulmer Cup era.

http://www.miamihawktalk.com/home/news/story/4142/

Swindle, something tells me you’ll find your way back to the Hateration Freeway (it’s real) juuuuuust fine.

Gotcha. I’m just ripping off the Bud Light pirate commercial.

As for Phat Phil, I’ll paraphrase something I’ve heard John (“Junior”) Feinstein say about Bobby Knight: “Just because he helps little old ladies across the street nine times, he thinks you should ignore it when he kicks one the tenth time.”
 
Similarly, Phil’s charitable works — as admirable as they may be — don’t give him a free pass on the other more ethically challenged aspects of the Tennessee program.

Lest we forget that Gene Bottom Line of an Eye Chart is a UT grad. And a Cubs fan. And a Sadist. And Bald. And an Employee of ESPN. And a Republican.

EZ,

As though it’s admirable to be called a democrat? I mean who the fuck goes around admitting that?

Hey I’m a democrat. I like union dues, affirmative action, and Nancy Pelosi!

Guys, consider the source, here. Gene Wojohoweverthehellhespellsit would take a bullet for fat boy. This is just a propaganda piece.

I felt you always made a mistake by not just counting Phil as your ad hominem attackee from the beginning. Your attacks on Phil have always outnumbered your attacks on Bowden. Gotta play the odds, Swindle!

PaulC – it’s too bad the need for Fulmer to call Pelosi’s parens hasn’t come up yet.

Not that I wouldn’t do her. I’m just saying…

May I steal a line from Cosby about his parents?

He’s old and he’s trying to get into heaven now!

Maybe kids in Tennessee woudln’t be depressed if Phil’s “student athletes” weren’t robbing them, raping them, or breaking their jawbones into smithereens.

Screw the fat bastard !

1. 16,

Cheese doodle smudges are fittingly orange.

Phil’s real good at raising money. How do you think he pays his players?