CATCHING UP: KENNY IRONS, MIDGET LOVER.

Just when I’m certain that I will never be as entertained by an Auburn Tiger as I’ve been by the Brothers Irons, Kenny jumps back into the fray.

Clearly Kenny is assimilating well into the Bengals organizational culture.

Solid. Even as a bama fan, I always had great respect and admiration for the Irons bros. I hope they stay “loose” and don’t let the NFL PR guys but a brake on their fun.

All easily explainable:
1. Jamarcus doesn’t know “words.”

2. Everyone disses Keyshawn.

3. SInce Trey Smith is like 5 feet tall, now we know why Kenny Irons wanted Trey to live with him on a deserted island. (too lazy to look up interview link, maybe someone can verify)

Thank you, good Sir, for reviving the ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS morsel of delight! I had damned near forgotten about that. Your promise to ensure that it doesn’t die remains true.

OK, but seriously, who doesn’t bring a midget with them on trips?

Here you are EZ:

http://auburntigers.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/062805aaa.html

Please see the third question down. Read this late in the day as you’re brain shouldn’t be too active for such a well-thought rhetorical question/answer session.

I’m certain Mr. Daddy Irons is so proud over in the peach state just now. Would he hold a party for this, too?

To be fair, most every interview I’ve watched with K. Irons he sirs everyone in the building. I became an old codger when I said, “Now there is a polite young man.” But there it was nonetheless.

Yeah, but he’s “never been to Europe or Paris”.

They should have known better then to try to get a conversation out of JaMarcus. It takes time to say anything in Old Entish.

The responses given by Mr. Irons in that Q & A makes it sound like he is a 10 year old. Enamored with snacks, having sweet go carts, a bigger bed, and so on.

He studied in the James Brooks Reading Room inside the Auburn “library.”

Enamored with snacks, having sweet go carts, a bigger bed, and so on.

Umm…no comment.

Yeah Brian, if those comments sound like they come from a 10-year old, I guess I qualify for “likes to finger paint with his own poop” age group.

Dammit Brian, if you were from any other school in the SEC I’d say “Scoreboard, bitches” but you went to Tech.
SIW!

Well unless by go-kart he means Italian sports car, by bigger bed he meant to add “for his harem” and by snacks he really was saying “Delicious Barbecue” then I stand by my comment.

Did anyone read Tre Smith’s hypothetical? Well, here it is:

“What if a team was on the 50-yard line and they had to kick a field goal to win the game and you had somebody like Carl Stewart who has a 42-inch vertical? If the team kicks the ball and they are barely going to make it and it is just going to graze inside the goalpost and you have Carl jump up and block it before it gets there, would that be OK? And would they count that? What could they do? That is a really good question because there is no goaltending in football so they couldn’t do anything about it because Carl just jumps up and blocks it.”

Thoughts, comments? Seriously, is this an option?

Wouldn’t it be a higher percentage move to just try to block it at the line of scrimmage though?

Herb – the percentages get real high if it’s Jarvis freaking Moss doing the blocking.

1. … ha! You said Jarvis Moss. And you said herb.

I think this is the best :

Q: What is your favorite Auburn tradition and why?
A: "The rolling of Toomer’s corner because I had never experienced something so amazing in my life. When I came to Auburn I saw all of these people huddled around this tree and I was like, ‘What is this?’ You have all of these people and they have all of this toilet paper. They have soft toilet paper and every kind of toilet paper and they are all throwing it at a tree. I was like ‘Why are they throwing all of this toilet paper at a tree?,’ and they told me that they were rolling Toomer’s corner. I asked who is going to clean all of this mess up and they told me that the wind would blow it all away or the rain would wash it down. They said sometimes they have people come clean it up and I said that I wouldn’t want to have to clean up all of this toilet paper."

I have never been able to read that without laughing.

OoC, yeah, real high. (thank you, God).

…and Orson, midgetfucking geniuses bearing typhoons of joy…man that cracks me up!

#20, if only another team had been able to convince him that he would have had to clean up the toilet paper, they could have snagged the Irons boys.

All I know is that the orange line between AU running backs and the mother fucking Cincinnati Bengals is alive and well.

He’s the second coming of James Brooks and you all better recognaze, recogneze…..recognize.

I am buying his jersey.
WHO DEY!!!!

Fuck you Tra Smith…and #16! According to Rule 6-3-3:

When a scrimmage kick that has crossed the neutral zone touches a player of the receiving team who is inbounds, any player may catch or recover the ball. (Fair catch exclusion to this rule applies in a punting situation.)

FGs and Punts are scrimmage kicks, so it sounds to me like if Carl Stewart can bat the ball from crossing, then it’s fair game. The problem is that his team must then obtain posession and get the ball out of the endzone, otherwise its an easy TD for an observant kicking team.

(2-25-9-2 points to an untouched ball, so 2-25-9 isn’t aplicable in this case which is why I deferred to 6-3-3.)

The only decent citizens the Bengals have or have had on their team are the Auburn players.

Thanks Aerobab. So even if he doesn’t CATCH the ball, he still needs to gain possession and get out of the endzone? If he does gain possession and is tackled in the endzone, it is a safety? What if he blocks it and it goes out of bounds in the endzone?

Do they have horse socks?

Damnit, it never fails…totally disregard #25.

Clear answers are in Sect. 9-4-1 (I-IV).

Re #20: Read that entire Toomer’s corner/toilet paper quote in a Ralphie Wiggums voice and it sounds perfectly natural.

Oh, he’s just having a little fun.

Re: Endzone/banana story

Tell me this doesn’t deserve some sort of t-shirt, like “we’re gonna make a sandwich out of your banana!”

Damn, he’s funny. I hope he keeps up those great interviews.

Even though it was a joke, for my own sanity I am assuming that he’s talking about a female midget. (Possibly with a flat head, but that’s another discussion.)

The only thing in this world that I fear are the midgets.

Undoubtedly majored in Sociology.

Much like Manny Ramirez, we here in Alabama just say," That’s Kenny being Kenny."

Aerobab…

So if the blocking player catches it, it’s legal (but there’s still the question as to whether he can kneel for a touchback or if that would be a safety). 9-4-1(vii)

If the blocking player bats it and doesn’t catch it, it’s either a safety (ball out of bounds or recovered by blocking team), a TD (ball recovered in end zone by kicking team) or the result of the play (ball recovered by either team out of the end zone can be kicking team’s ball + half the distance, in lieu of a safety at kicking team’s option). 9-4-1 (i-iv)

Do I have it right now?

Get ready, Greater Cincinnati Mensa Club, you’ve got another Barner alum on the way !

And when, pray tell, will the EDSBS Store be updated with a T-shirt that will allow me to proudly display my respect for Mssr. Irons by sharing his latest bon mot with the world?

First off….War Eagle.

Secondly….how much of a dick can a midget suck?

Now a drawf on the other hand….??

I’m surprised Terry Bowden agreed to travel in his luggage.

1. wins the thread. Well met, sir.

1. Game, set and match to you sir. Orson this entire article is outstanding.

1. - Holy God. Wow.

We always referred to Kenny as “Skittles,” since CLEARLY candy is the most important thing in the world to him.

This is exactly the type of story that an actual college football season could over-shadow and thus be lost in the traffic. Thank you for conveying college football in it’s purest ‘essence’ even if it means that midget might have to self induce vomiting .

That’s not toilet paper hanging in that tree. Those are Sociology degrees.

That Kenny. He’s just so AUsome.