EDSBS LIVE! PARADISE EDITION.
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio.
Why listen? Again–because the season finale of The Deadliest Catch isn’t on until 9:00 p.m. eastern? And without men, crabs, and cold salt water, what the hell else do you have to talk about?
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which, again, remains damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600.
Who: Sunday Morning Quarterback, who will be discussing the WAC and especially focusing on rising hottness in the form of the Hawaii Warriors.
Our four questions… As always, the format for short attention spans for the show:
1. What year was paradise for your team? What time is it right now? Yes, that time. The previous apex for the Florida Gators had been somewhere around January 4th, 1997 prior to this year’s Fiesta Bowl. But given the basketball/football bifecta, it’s difficult to argue with this year’s overall afterglow of opponent-incinerating Ricky Bobby-urine excellence, even if it was unfairly chomped from the plush, beer-fed asses of a single unfortunate team, TEH Ohio State Buckeyes.
2. What does your gameday utopia look like? Begin with the temperature–above 90 degrees with fifty percent humidity, preferably. If Football Zeus is kind, it will rain gouts beginning in the second half. Everyone will have consumed at least three beverages of sickening strength; when animals attempt to consume their dregs out of garbage cans, all cleanup worker will find are squirrels, rats, and hapless voles with four dead legs rising stiff into the swampy air.
The rest will be heat, volume, and four hours of incessant screaming done with circular breathing done with the fury of a Roman crowd inflamed with gladitorial bloodlust. Do not sit. Do not relent. After all: this is Sparta.
3. Describe the perfect game - situation and score.
340-0, Florida v. Florida State. 12 INTs. 23 Fumbles. We knock out five of their quarterbacks, forcing them to use their punter under center, who simply takes the ball and falls directly on his ass twice before punting on third down…and having it blocked for a touchdown. Bobby Bowden resigns in the second quarter; interim coach Mickey Andrews follows in the third. Governor Charlie Crist cedes the entire university to Mexico to excise the shame of the loss before the close of fourth. Afterwards, FSU’s players quit in unison, burn their uniforms, and take up lives of noble public service or join the clergy.
4. What’s your favorite show/movie/book that has to do with Hawaii?
Duh. The show that taught us that if you had to not be an embittered, antisocial vigilante superhero for a living, you may as well have a best friend with a helicopter.
Another lesson we learned from Thomas Magnum: sometimes, you just have to shoot a nun.
Talk to you tonight.
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