The big board is in need of some updates. Follow along below.

First, old business. A weekend of Vegas debauchery delayed this score, but Bobby Maurice Purify polished up an already impressive resume of offseason naughty (two counts of assault, failure to comply, resisting arrest and trespassing five weeks earlier) with an arrest on suspicion of drunk driving at 12:25 am last Friday. Purify, already Nebraska’s leading scorer for 2007 without putting on a single pad, racks up another two points pending further details on the incident. Coach Bill Callahan has indefinitely suspended him and offered no further comment other than that he remains smarter than you can ever hope to be, you fucking redneck.

UGA’s Fulmer Cup points never come from a dark, malevolent quarter of human nature. Judging from their charges, Athens is a town of students driving uninsured vehicles without licenses, occasionally falling asleep drunk on bar bathroom toilets, and maybe–if it’s not too hot–getting in the odd bar fight or two. (It’s scarily accurate, right?)

The pattern continues this year as good ol’ boys never meaning no harm do their thing, as Blake Barnes and Tripp Chandler not only score the highest ever whiteness rating achieved in two simple names, but rack up four points worth of drunk ‘n sloppy in Athens.

Barnes, the third-string quarterback, was arrested on charges of an open-container violation and furnishing alcohol to minors.

Chandler, the starting tight end, was arrested on charges of underage possession of alcohol and open container.

Would that we could say the same about Florida’s offenses, which bring up the rear in this recap. Brandon James, waterbug running back and kick returner whose best work last season was nullified by blocking and holding penalites, was arrested on marijuana possession charges this weekend along with basketball bit player Brandon Powell.

James charges are a bit misleading, but serious nonetheless. From the police report:

According to the arrest report, GPD acted on a source tip that had the source going to an address of 1402 Northwest 39th Drive to allegedly sell the two defendants certified cannibus taken from an evidence vault at GPD. The informant allegedly sold approximately .6 grams of cannibus to the defendants in exchange for $20. The sale was recorded on video and audio.

So it’s not as dreadfully serious as we thought initially–HOLY HELL UF PLAYERS CAUGHT IN SORDID DRUG/EXOTIC ANIMAL RING!!!–but rather a pretty banal weed purchase possession charge. Nevertheless, James faces possible felony charges for having the dumb luck and dumb lack of sense for purchasing a relatively petty amount of weed that just happened to come from the Gainesville Police Department.

This gets him three points plus the obligatory bonus point for being a dumbass wearing the jersey of this blog’s alma mater. (Really, we’re not trying to win it–we have enough trophies at the moment. ) To say Florida doesn’t have some kind of discipline problem would be lying. For Christ’s sake, it’s starting to affect the environment, dammit.


Ht: Brent.