CLERGY FIGHT! ISU WANTS A CHAPLAIN.

Speaking of Religion, all the Bama fans have switched denominations. They’re all CathoNicks now.

First p0st thread jack, bitches!

Uh, and the druidic arborphiliac was inadvertently omitted… after all, isn’t this all about getting a football woody?

1. Cal got dibs on all of them.

He just wants to make sure somebody’s listening when he asks, “Oh my God, why the hell did I take the Iowa State job?”

That brings up an interesting subject. Who best represents your team’s chaplain?

So far we have:
Florida : Mola Ram
Cal: High Druid of Arborphilia

I could see the entire Power Team for WfnVU

I’ve tried and tried to think of something else for fellow Sooner fans, but I keep coming back to the ridiculously loud Sunday morning tele-evangelist that just wants you to save you for 200 dollars or so.

Good for Chizik.

If someone wants to raise private funds to hire a zoroastrian heart snatcher and/or mormon, then more power to them.

Georgia has dibs on South Park’s Satan. He. So. Rocks.

Am I the only one waiting for an entry from any given Florida paper with the news about Billy D. and a caption by Orson that simply reads “Well Fuck!” ?

#9: I believe Orson doesn’t GAF about basketball. (It does rank above golf, but maybe not Spurrier peeing at Augusta.)

P.S. The ISU petition has 7% of the faculty, not the student body. 7% of the student body would actually be somewhat impressive. 7% of the faculty is pretty pathetic, given that, on average, at least 40% would sign anything that suggested the administration was doing something wrong.

“–If Iowa State does it, every other single team needs to do it, as well.”

I don’t know if this is still the case, or if this is the case at other schools, but I do know that at some point Nebraska’s players did attend optional services on game day. Atheist though I may be, the bottom line is that the majority of this country is religious to some extent, and I really don’t see anything wrong with pregame services or a team chaplain as long as it’s made clear to these guys that they aren’t required to take advantage of what’s being offered to them.

Also, I am all for an Aztec war cleric.

“Do you have any pride, Danny?!?!?”

Although it has absolutely nothing to do with this post, this video from FOXXY News definately belongs on this site for a multitude of reasons (e.g., non-latina cheesecake, Friday YouTubage, Pro-Gator, Anti-tOSU, etc.)!

Haven’t seen this one posted here either. Classic, complete with the metaphorical (literal?) UF bitchslapping of tOSU.

Tenn has snake handlers. For real. That’s not even a joke.

yeah, i would totally ask for a satanist. and not the stupid, goth kid middle schooler satanist. i would want the “i worship the dark lord because i’ve rationally decided this” type. those are awesome.

Notre Dame takes Battle Pope and his dimwitted sidekick, Jesus H. Christ.

http://www.newsarama.com/ImageComics/BattlePope/BattlePope01issue.htm

Texas already has Jeff “Mad Dog” Madden, an Archimandrite of the Cult of Swol’ Up…

Auburn calls the Farting Preacher.

I’m going to express the dissenting opinion on Mola Ram here. He was taken down rather quickly by an archeology prof, a two bit whiny showgirl playing the Asian Tour, and a 10 year old Chinese street urchin. Yes, the rip-out-your-heart-and-show-it-to-you-while-it’s-still-beating gambit was pretty good, but he sounds like the Pitt Panthers of religious leaders. Sure, he can run up the score on chumps like Akron, but when faced with a challenge, he folds like a house of cards. Give him to Bama, he and Saban would be two peas in a pod.

RaiderRed— Don’t you think you’re being unfairly dismissive of Mola Ram? Indy wasn’t just some archaeology prof—the guy was lethal with a whip. A fucking whip. Even that little Chinese kid was scrappy, like some sort of super-undergrown David Eckstein.

I mean, that’s like saying Ohio State was garbage last year because they got taken down in the championship by 22 kids who can’t even read. While that’s technically true, the Gators are also very fast, and Troy Smith has all the composure of a deer crossing a highway whenever a defensive end gets within six yards of him.

Rutgers will take Denis Leary’s ex-priest cousin from Rescue Me.

Adam…“…because I have rationally decided this”…I love that, especially when grouped with a non-‘rational’ topic.

Katy, was not expecting Auburn’s contributions so soon. Gives new meaning to “fire and brimstone hurled from the pulpit”.

Paging Indiana Weis for Mola Ram.

OPS – I can’t even escape the scrappiness of David Eckstein on EDSBS anymore?!!?

Who cares… lets see have some cheesecake

Per #26, yes lets…and let it be UGA in nature, please?

Notre Dame deserves one of those a-hole Irish priests from The Magdalene Sisters.

“You are not a man of God!
You are not a man of God!
You are not a man of God!”

(Sorry for the obscure reference, that had popped into my head yesterday for some reason.)

sb – Doesn’t it though? I myself attend the Church of Jim Beam. We meet every Saturday (and sometimes Sunday through Friday as well) in the Fall. We’re recruiting new members if you’re interested.

Chaplain, chaplain, we don’t need ne stinkin’ chaplain!

Where’s the ’cake?

Yesterday it was mixing politics and sports. Today, religion and sports. What is next?

Cows and the color orange are sacred in Hinduism, so Texas ought to have a vedic swami.

Oklahoma State can get a shaman from Choctaw Bingo.

LSU? Do the voodoo that you do so well.

sorry Jerkwheat. It’s early after last night’s Witnessing, and the only short scrappy football player I could think of was Drew Tate. In retrospect, Dat Nguyen would have been a far better choice than Mr. Scrappyhustle.

#31, Harvey,

I think Monday it should be something like ‘Euripidean Elements in the Music of the Rolling Stones’ and sports.

Katy, yes indeed. I have long been a follower of Brother Jim, whose rye and corn squeezins have made my eyes bleed in holy supplication. Please count me in, and though I be a lowly Gator, at least the colors are mostly the same (assumin’ yore a war damn eagle).

UT up by seven, yes, seven TDs. Perfect time to blitz!
Blame it on Gary Barnett like everything else.

Notre Dame automatically gets the main priest dude from The Exorcist. That guy kicked ass.

The ’Canes definitely get the santorian priest…

sb – So it begins, then! The orange and blue nations will meet for a ceremonious baptism in the amber holy water of our bretheren on the 29th day of September in the Year of our Lord, followed by a Tiger-on-Gator battle of epic proportions. Let’s hope gas gets cheaper by then so I can make it to Gainsville. Birmingham’s a long way away.

My vote for UGA’s “spiritual advisor” is Dean Martin’s drunk-priest character from Cannonball Run.

fun fact, the priest from the Exorcist was from Georgetown. Actually I’m pretty sure he was my friend’s thesis adviser.

I’m pretty sure ND would never willing associate itself with Jesuits though…

Holy Shit, I just got this video in an email today, this has got to be da U’s Preacher, you won’t find a better one.

http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/200

Georgia Tech Calls Dr. Martin Luther King on the grounds of home-town hero, and that no one would ever give us lip on that choice.

“I’m pretty sure ND would never willing associate itself with Jesuits though…” — SEE ND is so arrogant they hate within their own religion.

#15…“snake-handlers” awesome.

I nominate John Calvin as the spiritual leader of ’Bama. Their overwhelming sense of entitlement is just too similar to predestination.

A&M is totally represented by the Hare Krishnas. Fairly benign but undeniably weird.

Duke and FIU are probably the atheists of the bunch, chossing to not believe in the exsistence of College Football

For MSU, I nominate a Seventh-Day-Adventist. We keep waiting for something big to happen on Saturday, but so far…nothing.

And #28. Bleakest. Movie. Ever.

The Arizona State delegation selects Thulsa Doom.

#43:

Uh, thanks, but I think I’m going to take my chances up north from here on out.

— Rev. Martin

“My vote for UGA’s "spiritual advisor" is Dean Martin’s drunk-priest character from Cannonball Run”

Outstanding… These bleads? Up this nose?

And I take umbrage at Orson’s post. Everyone knows the Wiccan priestess would be wearing a This Mortal Coil t-shirt…

Katy, so it is written, so it shall be… and bring the preacher, have faith that his gas shall propel you the vast distance between our fair cities.

You know most team’s, including Florida, already have real chaplains, right?

Chg, please grant me this one little fantasy? I am looking forward to spelling Zoroastrian pyro-technician (sp).

UGA’s drunk Dean Martin priest…I think that guy married us…wasn’t that the guy, honey? Honey?

I think Arkansas would have Zuul. We were expecting a monster, they end up bringing an overgrown creampuff.

#47, nice shot. “Crucify him…on the Tree of Woe”

He also was able to turn a snake into an arrow, neat little trick. Although that little move DID backfire on him. (You don’t kill Amazon Woman HOF member Valeria, especially when she’s Conan’s girlfriend.)

Jay: Mola Ram and cheescake, whitlow, what else could you aks for? Sammie, remember the priest we had in middle school? (jay whitlo) mola ram is a strong remembrance/resembalnce: whitlow says: Go jayhawks(ers)!
eric y
jay whitlow