Speaking of our newest catchphrase…A HUNDRED COCKTAILS to IGN for the easily embedded video and A HUNDRED MORE for the programmers at EA.
The Statue of Liberty Cometh. Oklahoma Sooners fans, shield your eyes. (HT: The Sporting Orange.)
Joe Namath, before he was known to a younger generation as the guy who wanted to make out with Suzy Kolber and stated so publicly and in Ms. Kolber’s presence, was the most charismatic 50 percent passer you’ve ever seen and a “Nightlife Decathlete” for the ages in the 1970s.
Namath lived through it, though sadly his Fu Manchu mustache did not. We mournz it.
Click after the jump for more awesome Namath-ness. Really, if a random internet search turns up this much in just pictures, the reality of Namath’s leisure time from 1968–1982 or so had to be extremely hard to believe without seeing it. (more…)
New coach Nick Saban and Les Miles have used text messaging and other new technologies to try to get the edge in recruiting. But the two coaches, now bitter rivals in the hotly contested SEC West, have resorted to an old but reliable method of getting their message across to a recruiting base more attuned to the sound of the streets than the cheery bromides of a middle-aged white coach.
“Dawg, I thought he was clownin’, but dude’s got flow,” says Memphis area mixtape impressario B-Crack90. “His first joint is my second leading seller, right behind T-Nutz’s Xerox Me Your Thickness/ Da Remix featurin’ Akon. Say-Bann got the streets bumpin’ and you heard that.”
Whuppin that trick on the dance flo’: MC Say-Bann.
Saban made the tape on the advice of his players, who suggested that it was an appropriate response to Les Miles referring to the Crimson Tide as “Fucking Alabama” in an LSU booster meeting. Production was handled by several anonymous Alabama players, including one known only as “DJ Longshanks,” and was completed in typically prompt Saban fashion.
“He dropped, like, 38 tracks in two hours, man,” said DJ Longshanks, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “He was mailing them in, like, bam bam bam. We were astounded.”
Sporting a delivery somewhere between Slick Rick and Eminem, Saban taunts not only Miles and LSU fans, but most of the big names in the football world on the leadoff single, “I Ain’t Got Tyme (4 This Shit)”
(Warning: extremely adult language.) (more…)
This week’s update needs some updating itself–therefore find updates and errors after the big board.
Corrections, updates, and errata:
Errbuddy in da car gettin’ tipsy! USC safety Josh Pinkard, last seen “failing to tackle Vince Young,” as Signal to Noise so eloquently put it, whiffs on a tackle at sobriety during a very key roadside encounter with a police officer. And again, it comes at a very critical time, as in during the middle of a breathalyzer test.
Pinkard’s DUI arrest occurred on May 18 at 3:44 a.m., giving further credence to the idea that if you are in the public eye and out at three in the morning, you should probably get your ass home as soon as possible. Unless, of course, you’re out with Peter O’Toole having ONE HUNDRED COCKTAILS and preparing to steal a train. If this is the case, please proceed with all due speed.
I stole a train with Albert Finney.
Two Fulmer Cup points for standard DUI, though we reserve the right to award bonus points for Pinkard’s BAC total if it approaches Lohan/Yeltsin territory.
Florida cornerback gives a boot the boot. What Peter O’Toole is to drinks, we were to parking tickets during our term at the University of Florida. Occasionally we feel a tickle in the back of our throat; after a vigorous series of coughs, a vintage 1995 UPD parking ticket floats from the sky. The now-defunct ‘89 Ford Escort station wagon that made it through three years of our outright negligence was festooned with the little yellow blessings on an hourly basis, impounded, booted, towed, and on one occasion experienced a near miss from an RPG employed by UPD to take care of particularly noxious offenders like ourselves.
But for the water, we probably would have parked on Lake Alice.
Florida corner Dorian Munroe might be the official player of Orson Swindle for the 2007 season, since he’s following in the grand tradition of funding the college educations of UPD officers singlehandedly by racking up enough tickets to get his car booted on campus. This presents no problem if you don’t take the boot off and stick it in your trunk, as Munroe did, prompting a police summons to UPD offices on May 22nd where Munroe admitted removing the boot and gave it back to the officers.
The real problem comes with the 3rd degree felony charge accompanying the theft of anything between $300 and 5,000 in value. Munroe actually went to the county jail for this, and will have to find a way to avoid a felony charge sticking to his record.
Two points for the whole thing, what with the felony charges and all. At least they didn’t use the RPG on you, Munroe. Those Blackwater contractors are merciless in “eliminating the parking problem through any means necessary.”
You will park in the orange 3 lot only, sir, or face consequences of an extreme nature.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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