LIGHT STRETCHING: THE A.M., POST-VACATION, OUT OF VODKA ROUNDUP

I too will be playing my way into shape today. It’s post holiday Tuesdays like this that make me wish I’d listend to my parents and become a professional golfer.

The intriguing part of Bernie’s proposal is that he wants to spread the postseason wealth to all 119 D-1 schools, instead of just letting the greedy BCS-conference bastards hang on to it. So if Bernie gets his way, it’s not like the SEC would get a one-sixth share of the new money… or keep all of what it’s already been getting.

That ought to go over well.

Not that it matters, but…

“Officials on Thursday gave no indication that Auburn’s recruitment of Fairley or Williams is under investigation by the NCAA or that anyone affiliated with Auburn is connected to the grade changes.”

Interesting headlines and stuff.

“Roscoe’s House O’ Cheatin’ Bastards.blogspot.com.”

I think the Whois trace on that takes you to Nitro, West Virginia.

I love it when you tell a USF fan that the “bull horns” finger sign is actually the Texas “longhorns”. They’re so disappointed. On the bright side, the State Legislature thinks they’re as good as FSU in academics. Third place no more!

From what I understand, Auburn isn’t accused of any wrongdoing – the grades were changed before the kids signed.

Auburn fans—corrected. We blame society for the error.

Auburn cheats? NOOOO WAYYYYY!

:)

If USF ever won a BCS-level bowl, the fires from trailers housing meth labs that would explode after a crazy-ass party would make you think the apocalypse just broke out in Pinellas Park. On the note about the horns . . . yeah, most of the intelligent fans know that it’s totally stolen. USF’s been around ten years, what do you expect? They can only steal stuff at this point.

I don’t think that even the word “badonkadonk” describes what Serena’s packin’ back there — you might need to add on an extra “adonk” to do it justice.

“Drink-slammed liver swoons”? Try “vagina-sanding alcohol deficiencies.” Man up, nancies.

When was Arizona “good”? I believe it’s had two ten-win seasons in the last 20 years (1993 and 1998), both immediately followed by losing years, and I know it’s the only school in the Pac Ten (or Big Ten, for that matter) that’s never been to the Rose Bowl. I’m going to guess the only New Year’s Day game Arizona has ever appeared in was the ’93/94 Fiesta Bowl, when Bruschi et al beat the snot out of Miami, the game that got them the crazy, extremely wrong SI #1 cover the next year.

We’re hoping for it with every atom of our being, mostly because the trailer-park alumni the Bulls could pull out of the Tampa metropolitan area would make Alabama’s look like a crowd of Bertie Woosters in comparison.

Boorishness at an American football match? Out of the Q, Jeeves. Simply out of the Q.

Thanks for the correction on the Auburn stuff, but “2nd quarter of ’06” does not qualify as “at the last minute” for kids that signed in February ’07 to enroll in school in the fall of ’07.

Couldn’t agree more #12. Arizona has been trying to rebuild the glory year(s?) of 1993 and the desert swarm for going on 14 years now. Its has been fun to watch (see Uof A/LSU 2006).

I did tons of extra credit. I earned those grades.

“…a playoff system would likely generate in excess of $100 million more, a figure that might sway the thinking of some presidents and leagues.”

Ahhhh…The suppositions of people with Excel and a basic knowledge of econometrics. Those numbers are rarely good guesses, and the real ones never as high as you hoped.

You’re not doing too bad for a post-holiday Tuesday. I fully expected to see 3 videos and about 8 lines of text.

My vodka ran out as well, but there’s still more than enough coursing through my bloodstream.

even more illiterate fucks playing football on the plains…shocking

SMQ is my hero. Thank you for pointing out the ongoing irrelevance of the football program in northern Nogales. And by-the-by — they’ve been “up and coming” for about 4-5 years now and they’ve still won a combined 14 games in that time span. There’s a reason all the official cheer at football games is “Oh yeah, well just wait till basketball season!”

We apologize again. See: vodka.

Hey, if they can hand a diploma to an illiterate mongoloid what’s the difference if they fudge some rules to get a couple of kids who can actually sign their letter of intent?

War Sociology!

Two kids from two different schools change grades from the same quarter to become eligible for college. The only common thread is AgBarn, but it is just a coincidence. They of the inflated APR, SACS accreditation scare, and Sociology grade handout had nothing to do with this episode of academic impropriety. Agent Mulder wouldn’t buy it.

Actually Auburn wasn’t a common thread, because the conflicting transcripts came before either of them committed to Auburn and about eight months before they signed with Auburn. This is just the REC trying to kick up as much dust as they can (especially given the published reports of recruiting violations by Sa6an). Five in a row will do that.

Guess they had no idea who they would sign (or mark with an X) their letter of intent with at that point.

Where the fuck was Reverend Chette? What the hell kind of second rate bagman do you people have down there?

AgBarn not the common thread? Then I guess there were other instances in Mobile County where college-bound scholarshipped athletes had phony transcripts? What about at the players’ high schools? Nobody else? The REC did it. Yeah. Next, you’ll say it is all Bear Bryant’s fault.

I think it’s funny that while I see these last two responses, there’s an ad at the bottom of the page with 4 hands all holding up 5 fingers.

That’s what it’s all about, folks (including the pathetically attempted smear campagin on the team chaplain). That’s why nothing is sticking, because it’s all smoke.

Interestingly, one of these guys was a bama lean during the time in question.

P.S.:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/05/30/auburn.recruit.ap/