BONUS TUESDAY CHEESECAKE: UNIVERSE EDITION

What? That’s the best competitor we could field? She’s like “The girl working the checkout line at Kroger was cute” kinda hot. She didn’t “stand” a chance in hell even without the blunder. Our hotties are slipping as quickly as our basketball prowess. Only one I actually care about.

College football tie-in with Ms. America – she was (still is?) a sweatshirt model for Rivals.

There’s a pic of Ms. Brazil in the swimsuit competition on CNN.com that would easily put her in the EDSBS Cheesecake HOF.

EDSBS Cheesecake GoogleMap updated.

Amurrrrica, fuck yeah!

Re: Ms. Angola: Angola used to be a Portuguese colony. Brazil used to be a Portguese colony. Surely that’s close enough for a one-time extension of the boundary for cheesecake? I mean this isn’t exactly scientific. Is it?

That’s actually Miss Brazil. Google image of Ms Brazil gives a quite different result.

And when you consider that the Portuguese method of colonization was basically “breed with the natives until they’re us”, Miss Angola is probably genetically as Latina as Miss Brazil.

NB: The Portuguese method is in stark contrast to the Spanish method: “go back to Spain? screw that, we don’t have to lisp here”…

Top 5 Miss Universe Beauties Dept:

1. Mzzz Brazzill wuzz robbed!!! I thought she had the thing won from the very beginning.

2. Miss Venezuela looked as good as Mzzz Brazil in a bikini. The contestant that came after Ms Venezuela in the bikini competition looked like a litte boy by comparison. (Swimsuit, why do they use that word? Dump them in water then show shots of them coming out, now that would be a swimsuit!)

3, 4, 5. The other three (Korea, USA, Japan) were pretty women, but did not have that “hot booty-licious” look. Perhaps because some of the judges were women, did the crown not go to the rightful babe. Booing Ms. USA was out of line. She was classy all the way.

Rachel Smith and Rivals link:

http://www.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=657516

Miss Mexico was totally channeling Jessica Rabbit – except that Jessie has much larger ta-tas.

I’ll admit that I did watch much of the competition – and i exclaimed to a higher power when she fell, on her butt – I haven’t seen that since a miss teen USA 3 million years ago – it was timeless. She was a favorite going into the competition, but the anti-USA sentiment and her lame-brained “I worked with Oprah” answer to a lob from Tony “if I could turn back time” Romo really lost it for her.

I too thought that Miss Brazil would win – but there’s probably some “south & central america can’t win every year” clause. Ms Japan had the best “fans” in the audience – I so need a sequin studded PSU flag (would look gorgeous next to the outdoor dancefloor).

Kahuna, given the overall competence of Portuguese colonial governance, I think it was less a deliberate plan that led to them schtupping the locals – more likely it was that someone forgot to bring any women from Lisbon, except for 2 burly mono-browed ladies who mostly kept to themselves. Calling it “lusotropicalism” was just a fancy label to explain away the love of local badonkadonk.

oooh maju, i still only have eyes for you.

I think Miss USA was just doing her impression of U.S. foreign policy over the last four years.

Anyway, as much as I enjoy the Latina cheesecake, I have to stand up for my Slavic sisters back in the motherland — i.e. Miss Montenegro, Miss Croatia, and — shockingly — Miss Kazakhstan. Has Borat been lying to us this whole time?

Kleph, when people ask me why I am abandoning my wife and children for a life on the lam in Peru, I shall produce a copy of Maju in the red leather jacket and hot pants, cropped turtleneck, and crown. No further explanation shall be required.

Future Mr Theuriau: note the absence of a Miss Uzbekistan and draw your own conclusions about who is underwriting Borat.

I was a big fan of Korea and Philippines

Vikings vs. Slavs Dept:

No. 14: Regarding the quality level of the Slavic Babes, I must agree. They rocked. Amazing, beautiful women.

But, what happened to the Nordic women? They were either missing in action (Ms. Sweden) or just regular looking. A complete letdown from last year.

But, in this competition, the Latin babes seem to dominate year in and year out.

South/Central America are like the SEC of the Miss Universe competition. They’re always going to be a big factor. You just can’t deny them.

Eastern Europe and the former Soviet bloc are like the Big 10 — they haven’t gotten nearly as much attention lately as the Nu Hottness has been taking its due, but they’re consistent. You can always turn to them for some quality talent.

Asia is the Big 12 or Pac-10 — made some major noise recently, yes, but aside from one or two regular contenders you can’t think of a whole lot else.

And if Scandinavia has indeed fallen off big-time this year, I guess that makes them the ACC.

EDSBS: The only sports blog that compels me to buy Rosetta Stone

I don’t think anyone that refers to Kazakhstan as a Slavic nation is allowed to comment on foreign policy.