EDSBS LIVE!!! BAMAFINEBAUMTROJANSEDITION
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…if you want your brain exfoliated.
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600. We’re having real, live RADIO PROFESSIONAL PAUL FINEBAUM ON TONIGHT, just because we want to feel bad about ourselves. (Low self-esteem = more drinkz0rz yay!)
What: Tonight’s special guest is…Paul Freakin’ Finebaum, Alabama journalistic provocateur and current Saban-watcher. We’ll ask him if he’s interviewed Saban and find out if the new coach has had time for that shit or not.
We’re also going to talk USC football, the other goliath under discussion tonight, with Scout.com’s beat writer Garry Paskwietz, who will tell us how Pete Carroll gets those kickin’ abs.
Finally, we’ll have BearMeat’s creators on, since we can’t talk megaprograms without discussing…Baylor.
Finebaum: currently diagramming your next five outrages at him, Alabama fans.
Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe. Texas. Something about the power of livestock compels us.
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
FSU. The lone consistent brown streak in the clean white undies of the 1990s Florida story. We say consistent to rule out that little 1996 Fiesta Bowl thing ouch bleed thanks for the pain, asshole.
3. Little program you wish was a big program? USF. They’re on the way, but Tampa trash gone college gonzo would be just epic.
4. Name an overrated hottie. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us. Personally, we’d prefer to fight for Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) from X-Men, if only because she looks a little too excited when Wolverine assaults her in the first one.
Filed under: Big 12 Conference, College football, EDSBS labs presents..., Pacific 10 Conference, People we love, Southeastern Conference, Uncategorized, edsbs socializin', fine piece of meat by Orson Swindle
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75
I couldn’t squeeze in tonight, clearly too much Finebaum, but here are your correct answers:
1) The U. They have earned our awe because every time you think their reputation has become undeserved, even one teeny bit, they always prove us wrong in mind-blowing ways. 7th Floor Crew. Michael Irvin every time he opens his mouth. Clint Portis telling us we should shut the fuck up about the dogfighting already. The brawl. Those guys are clinically fucking insane.
2) I was very upset to hear Jebus squeeze on the show, then promptly get this question wrong. There may not be a single decent program who’s ever been more antagonized by a fellow conference team than Iowa has by Michigan over the last 20-25 years. I don’t have room or time to go through it all, but the 1986 loss on a last-second field goal following an Iowa fumble at midfield isn’t even in the top 5. It’s been awful. There probably hasn’t been a Hawkeye since the class of ‘82 who hasn’t had his heart ripped out by Michigan.
3) William & Mary. How awesome would it be if they went huge, just so we could hear recaps like “…and Virginia Tech was routed, 35-16, by Bill and Mary.” I don’t even know what their team nickname is. Is it the William and Mary Wedding Registry?
4) 3-for-1 shot here: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu. Fucking come on. It’s Charlie’s Angels, not Charlie’s Dead-Eyed Coke Whores. When Farrah Fawcett was a freshman at UT, guys lined up around the block just to meet her. But now, I wouldn’t cross the street to fuck Drew Barrymore if it meant saving my own life. Signing those three rickety bags of bones was a complete disservice to America.
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise — May 23, 2007 @ 12:12 am
74
#61
Mark Dantonio isn’t at Cincinnati anymore - he’s at Michigan State.
Comment by CFB Authority — May 22, 2007 @ 10:30 pm
73
You know what’s sad? People who tune in to the show and don’t have the balls to interact with other human beings. Call in and/or chat with us, motherfuckers.
Comment by PeteJayhawk — May 22, 2007 @ 10:29 pm
72
#52:
Yeah, when Peet took off her shirt in The Whole Nine Yards…wow, pretty mean spirited move by the editors when they left that one in
1) USC; championships, recruiting, innoculations/relief efforts…proud to be a part of that
2) Texas; NEVER FORGET
3) UNC
4) Kim Kardashian for kind of looking like Master Shake in the South American surgery episode
Comment by juanmiguel — May 22, 2007 @ 10:03 pm
71
1. Nebraska, duh.
2. UM or FSU, take your pick because I hate them both.
3. Any service team for obvious reasons.
4. Even if i was a lesbian, I wouldn’t take teri hatcher.
Comment by CornHuskinChick — May 22, 2007 @ 10:00 pm
70
I’d like to see Wazzou become big. B/c if your school is going to have such a nickname, it ought to be pretty big. Ditto for Mizzou.
Comment by MCab — May 22, 2007 @ 9:58 pm
69
Oh, and I think “mediocre, midly retarted douchebags” is the best description i’ve ever heard of Lee Corso and Mike DuBose
+ 10, a fuckin 10
Comment by TheGoldfishCowboy — May 22, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
68
1) I should say Michigan, for in-law reasons, but I’ll go with Nebraska. I still think they will regret experimenting with this “forward pass” and Callahan, but I would like to see the friendly red borg crowd in action.
2) If this was 1995, I’d say Notre Dame (13 years of hurt) but it isn’t, so it has to be Texas. It was a one off, but it stung like a motherfucker for 24 hours, which is about 23 hours longer than most losses bother me. Beer soothes, and quickly.
3) Stanford, bless their little Cornell extension campus hearts
4) Ashlee Simpson for giving Oklahoma fans a reason to pretend they were leaving the Orange Bowl on grounds of crimes against music, and then trying to surgically overtake her sister for the attention of their twisted father.
Comment by DC Trojan — May 22, 2007 @ 9:28 pm
67
#61
Hey, It’s my good buddy tOSUBuckeyes…did you ever answer my question? be a man about it, little buddy..go by the name you bet on..
Comment by CapstoneAlum — May 22, 2007 @ 9:27 pm
66
Yo, is there a way to listen to past shows?
Comment by TheGoldfishCowboy — May 22, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
65
A bearcat is almost as cool as a bear throwing a shark.
Comment by MCab — May 22, 2007 @ 9:19 pm
64
1. LSU because they pay me.
2. LSU because they are so up and down.
3. University of Montana. Hey, it’s a wish, isn’t it?
4. Eva Longoria. What does she do beside sleep with a NBA guy?
Comment by jeneria — May 22, 2007 @ 9:16 pm
63
Crazy Tom,
What bars are you going to, cause damn I wanna go there. Alba (pre-anorexia) was fine.
Comment by Kakistocrat — May 22, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
62
#59
What did he say??? I missed the show. I have been waiting for him to turn on Saban; has it started yet??? He welcomed him with open arms, but I know it is a setup so that Paul can burn him at the cross when things go sour.
#61 - typo - “how could I forget” not “how could I forgot.”
Comment by tOSUBuckeyes — May 22, 2007 @ 8:46 pm
61
Homer alert!!!
1.) The Ohio State University. Tied with USC for the best BCS record in the country 4-1; only two teams in the country have fewer losses in the last 5 years; owners of the only 14-0 BCS National Championship, snapping Miami’s 34 game win streak in the process; Only team ever to play in THREE 1 vs. 2 games in one season and only team to win two of them; makes an annual bitch out of Michigan; willing to play anyone anywhere (played texas, USC, Miami, and VT are all scheduled in home and home series); with its only blemish in the past 5 years being 1 bad loss to an SEC team it’s hard for me not to put them here (ignore my nickname it had zero bearing on my decision. Throw in the history 7 Heisman and 7 National Championships for good measure. Oh and how could I forgot, only 3 Fulmer Cup points ever.
Other mentionable teams: Florida, USC, Auburn (has great record against SEC teams), and of course Texas. I guess you could put OU in there - people forget just how much they’ve had to over come lately.
2.) Alabama - nothing makes my stomach turn more than Bama fans. Words can not express the deep seeded, carry it to my grave hatred that I have for everything and anything Bama related. If losing to Florida in the NCG every year kept Bama out of playing in it I would gladly bear that cross.
3.) UC - University of Cincinnati - I know, I know, but Mark Dantonio is all class and a great coach, and I would love to see him take the Bearcats to the next level. Plus I love that name Bearcats.
4.) Kendra Wilkinson - Hugh can do better.
Comment by tOSUBuckeyes — May 22, 2007 @ 8:41 pm
60
1) USC- That program is football sex.
2) Miami- We’ve only beaten them once in my lifetime, and I was 1. To paraphrase the bearded guy from Fever Pitch, when BC plays Miami, we don’t just lose, we raise it to an art form. I’d rather see us beat the U this year than ND.
3) UNC- That football program is the sleeping giant of the East Coast and the entire football operations office needs to be purged like a bunch of suspicious Red Army generals for their failure to turn UNC into a powerhouse.
4) Jenny McCarthy– Utterly retarded and plastic might have worked when I was 11 but not anymore. Time to start the death watch.
Comment by BC Eagle — May 22, 2007 @ 7:59 pm
59
i really wish paul finebaum would have said motherfucker
Comment by AlexTuscaloosa — May 22, 2007 @ 7:53 pm
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54, I’m well aware of the all-time record, and I didn’t write you off, the Stanford AD did when Buddy Teevens was hired.
I’m saying it wouldn’t hurt for the Big Game to actually mean something in terms of Bowl/Title implications for BOTH teams. (Hence “big” game).
While FB stock has never been higher in Berkeley (actually just among Cal fans…the city Berkeley can go to hell via chainsaw and firewood), the opposite trend in sentiment seems to be happening in Palo Alto. I should know; I live there, and its not pretty. The average Stanford fan seems to be either on dialysis, a long-time shopper in the “security briefs” section of Safeway, or deceased of old age.
Comment by CalFanMos — May 22, 2007 @ 7:21 pm
57
Hospitality: Where is it Orson?
Laughing snidely as your radio show guest Paskweweitz spilled his guts about how awful the Texas loss was was CRUEL!, CRUEL! Evan Texas’ Bean was somewhat restrained.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — May 22, 2007 @ 7:19 pm
56
wooooooooo!!!!!!!
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — May 22, 2007 @ 7:06 pm
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Stacy Kieb-If a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road is personality then SJP is freaking Ric Flair
Comment by Willet — May 22, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
54
RE: 47
Cal still has some catching up to do:
Big Game History
Stanford - 54 wins
Cal - 44 wins
11 ties
In case you forgot, Stanford also won from 1995-2001. At least even up the series before writing us off.
Comment by MM — May 22, 2007 @ 6:53 pm
53
Personality Goes a Long Way:
Sarah Jessica Parker is sort of hound-doggish, but at least she and Pamela Anderbossom have some sort of personality.
But, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Courtney Love have zilch personality….and just suck
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — May 22, 2007 @ 6:51 pm
52
Big Program: Nebraska. Sure, there’s the homer factor, but we actually are that freaking polite to guests — why be dickish when you really expect you’ll win? We’re 4th all time, and we were mediocre before 1962.
Anguish-causer: Tie — FSU/Miami. I can’t count the number of national championships lost to those two, but I know it’s at least three. Hell, beating NU in Lincoln put FSU on the national map in the mid-80s.
Little Program I Wish Were Big:
Non-BCS: BYU. Who doesn’t miss LaVell Edwards and possession receivers?
BCS: Duke. They haven’t even been remotely interesting since Darth Spurrier got called back home.
Overrated Hottie — I don’t know whether or not she qualifies, but I’ve seen enough of Amanda Peet — and her dumpy little tatas — for one lifetime.
Comment by Albino Tornado — May 22, 2007 @ 6:48 pm
51
Sarah J Parker=Baltimore Ravens
Bad helmet good uniform
Comment by Willet — May 22, 2007 @ 6:43 pm