EDSBS LIVE!!! BAMAFINEBAUMTROJANSEDITION
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…if you want your brain exfoliated.
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600. We’re having real, live RADIO PROFESSIONAL PAUL FINEBAUM ON TONIGHT, just because we want to feel bad about ourselves. (Low self-esteem = more drinkz0rz yay!)
What: Tonight’s special guest is…Paul Freakin’ Finebaum, Alabama journalistic provocateur and current Saban-watcher. We’ll ask him if he’s interviewed Saban and find out if the new coach has had time for that shit or not.
We’re also going to talk USC football, the other goliath under discussion tonight, with Scout.com’s beat writer Garry Paskwietz, who will tell us how Pete Carroll gets those kickin’ abs.
Finally, we’ll have BearMeat’s creators on, since we can’t talk megaprograms without discussing…Baylor.
Finebaum: currently diagramming your next five outrages at him, Alabama fans.
Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe. Texas. Something about the power of livestock compels us.
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
FSU. The lone consistent brown streak in the clean white undies of the 1990s Florida story. We say consistent to rule out that little 1996 Fiesta Bowl thing ouch bleed thanks for the pain, asshole.
3. Little program you wish was a big program? USF. They’re on the way, but Tampa trash gone college gonzo would be just epic.
4. Name an overrated hottie. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us. Personally, we’d prefer to fight for Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) from X-Men, if only because she looks a little too excited when Wolverine assaults her in the first one.
Filed under: Big 12 Conference, College football, EDSBS labs presents..., Pacific 10 Conference, People we love, Southeastern Conference, Uncategorized, edsbs socializin', fine piece of meat by Orson Swindle
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1. USC. Though, there were a few contenders(OSU, Michigan, Miami). USC has just looked scary in recent years.
2.FSU. Having a number of “friends” that went there only increases the pain of a late season loss.
3.Florida Atlantic. It would be cool to see Schnellenberger in the limelight one more time.
4.Since Kirsten Dunst was already mentioned(she’s annoying as hell), Lindsay Slohand. How she just topped Maxim’s Hot 100 list is beyond me.
Comment by BDoc — May 22, 2007 @ 6:40 pm
49
I’d love to listen in but the friggin site keeps freezing up the damn laptop everytime i click it
Comment by HotlantaBill — May 22, 2007 @ 6:31 pm
48
Answers…..
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe.
Homer answer - USC Trojans
Non-Homer answer - Florida Gators
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
Texas (Vince Young was the Man that awful day)
(Notre Dame does not qualify as a “Big Program” anymore. More like a mid-major)
3. Little program you wish was a big program?
Boise State - The Smurfs played one of the most exciting games I have ever seen - not involving USC(west), of course. They should be moved into the Pac-10 and Stanford should be let go…
4. Overrated Hottie.
Tyra Banks - I think her boobs and general look is pretty good, but I have had it up to here with her nagging, heftier, “girlfriend from the hood” recent self.
Comment by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me — May 22, 2007 @ 6:21 pm
47
1. Bama. If 500 motorhomes descended on my town, I’d run.
2. USC. Lose. LOSE DAMN YOU!
3. Stanford. So the Big Game can live up to its name for once.
4. Cameron Diaz. A shaved head and she looks like Gollum.
Comment by CalFanMos — May 22, 2007 @ 6:02 pm
46
1. I’m in awe of Florida
2. Hate Florida - thanks for the September losses
3. Illinois
4. Pamela Anderson - How, after this long, can people still think she’s amazing?
Comment by CFB Authority — May 22, 2007 @ 6:02 pm
45
1. As much as I hate hate hate Mack Brown, I gotta say Texas. Their ability to sign every elite player still yet unborn in the Lone Star state is pretty awe-inspiring.
2. As a Pac10 fan, I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to say anyone other than SC here. Bastards kept us out of the national title game in ‘04 and the Rose Bowl in ‘06.
3. San Diego State. Partially out of love for the Alma Mater of Tony “fat man” Gwynn, partially just home town love, but being in one of the most fertile recruiting grounds in the country, it just seems bizarro that SDSU wouldn’t field a quality team.
4. Jennifer Aniston. She’s cute…I guess…but I know plenty of girls who are hotter than her. I just never got the hype.
matt, there will forever be an asterisk next to your name. Sir, with comments like that, you’re letting the terrorists win.
Comment by Oski and ye shall receive — May 22, 2007 @ 5:45 pm
44
1) Michigan - all that history and stuff.
2) USC - for the same reason.
3) Chicago - Go Maroons!
4) Almost all of them. HD media is going to cut through the current crop like a lawnmower at Augusta National.
Oh, and Stranko, just so you know… Sarah is still a duchess, she simply lost the “HRH”. And your instincts are correct. The York girls are turning out quite lovely.
Comment by PJ from NU in SF — May 22, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
43
speaking of ass and goodness, I am still shaken from the Governor of the 7th biggest economy of the entire fucking world’s discussion of ass in Brazil.
I recall a line from the Onion years ago: “Schwarzeneggar Elected Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse”
Comment by jon — May 22, 2007 @ 5:27 pm
42
Oops. I forgot that I wanted to be first in with what I expect will overload your servers tonite.
Finebaum is a real jackhoile & really, really sucks. Your listeners will be even dumber for having tuned in.
Comment by lilac-a-go-go — May 22, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
41
“You like ass because it is good.”
Truer words were never spoken, Orson.
Comment by Harris — May 22, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
40
1. Since I can’t be a homer, Florida under Meyer.
2. texas. Although 12-7 has made this offseason particularly sweet.
3. University of North Texas/SMU
It would be nice to have a bigtime program in the Metroplex.
4. Paris Hilton.
She’s look VERY ragged lately, and this is before prison.
#3,
It would be a better diagram if it wasn’t an illegal formation. There are only 6 men on the LOS.
Comment by Beergut — May 22, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
39
1. Awe? No team carries that with them year to year. RESPECT, Penn St certainly, Nebraska probably & Bama before Bear died. Georgia’s pretty close.
2. LSU…damn those bastards. Tailgating is top notch though + hot women.
3. Small program…who freaking cares?
4. No hottie is overrated when she’s standing on her head.
Comment by lilac-a-go-go — May 22, 2007 @ 5:07 pm
38
1. Notre Dame - Name another college that has WORLDWIDE appeal. When they allow players to be paid, ND will crush with Kompressor might.
2. Florida - And as long as Urban is at the helm, FLA will be giving me steady Maalox moments like the IDF did for Nasser in the early 70’s.
3. USM - They really punch above their weight. Best called a “bantam” team. It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder why the BCS keeps em’ under.
4. Sarah Jessica Parker - Hasn’t changed from “Square Pegs” in my book.
Comment by MCab — May 22, 2007 @ 5:07 pm
37
1. Auburn. Might not be the biggest program, but I went to the loss last year and I was tremendously impressed with the whole atmosphere.
2. Miami. My dream is to become wealthy enough to give the University of Miami a endowment, conditioned on the immediate and permanent disassembling of the athletics program there.
3. USF. During one Zook year, I went to more USF games than UF games. Part of the thrill, though, is the sheer unpredictability of watching the Bulls - it’s almost like high school ball.
4. Brittany Murphy… does she count as hot?
Comment by Seven Years in Gainesville — May 22, 2007 @ 5:05 pm
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1) USC…duh. I guess if I have to give a non-homer answer I’d say Florida.
2) Nobody has beaten USC twice in awhile so it is hard to get too worked up. I guess I’d have to say Notre Dame for the hell that was the long losing streak in the 80’s-90’s.
3) San Diego State.
4) Has nobody said Paris Hilton yet? She’s odd looking more than hot and seems too obvious of an answer to me.
Comment by oc phil — May 22, 2007 @ 4:59 pm
35
“Don’t you fucking talk like that, matt. Scarlett’s ass in Lost in Translation was nearly enough to make Mr. Surprise throw up in my pants.”
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise
Dear God, I just crapped my pants I’m laughing so hard
Comment by Hook'em Tide — May 22, 2007 @ 4:55 pm
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pumpkinhead - go to withleather.com. There was post about her up there today (or was it yesterday?). Caveman always links to the no-makeup pics.
1. I’ve always kind of been in awe of LSU. No particular reason. Probably b/c we don’t have to play them.
2. Pitt beating WVU on Thanksgiving night in 04 nearly had me in tears. But Alabama coming after our coach this past December… I couldn’t fucking sleep at night. There was considerable personal anguish involved.
3. Marshall, so that (worthless) game would actually mean something and so that people outside of Huntington would actually care.
4. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us.
Agreed - I think she’s gross.
Comment by CouchBurnin'Girl — May 22, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
33
1. As much as it pains me, I’ll have to go with Texas. Not so much for there achievements, since they only got the one MNC of late, but for the overall atmosphere surrounding the program.
2. Notre Damn. Again, not so much for their achievements - since..well..there aren’t any in the past 15 years - but because of the nauseating way their fans and the WWL ride their jock each year as the “comeback” year. And Weiss is really fat.
3. Oklahoma State. Their mascot, the guy with the 5 o’clock shadow, chaps, and guns exemplifies everything great about America. God bless.
4. Fergie, she’s man baby!
Comment by Rex Cramer — May 22, 2007 @ 4:49 pm
32
1: If I’m not allowed the homer answer, none.
2: USC. The torture of that fucking band is quite simply unbearable.
3: In the words of the Roman Senate: Fuck the poor. Lets build statues of ourselves.
4: Jessica Alba. Slightly hotter than the hottest chick I’d see at the bar on an average night, and that’s about it.
Comment by crazy tom — May 22, 2007 @ 4:35 pm
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1. Nebraska - Lincoln on game day is specacular. This is despite wondering all day whether everyone really is THAT friendly.
2. Michigan - siting at the top of the Big House for the Lloyd the Clockkeeper game was the stomach punch of all stomach punches. Paterno isn’t retiring until he beats Michigan.
3. UConn - That’s how you build a program from scratch. Doesn’t help to have all that basketball money lying around either.
4. Anyone from from Desperate Housewives, except for the female half of Filliam H. Muffman.
Comment by parker91 — May 22, 2007 @ 4:31 pm
30
Re: Famke Janssen. Don’t forget, she was also Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye, who’s got a very good argument as hottest/sluttiest Bond Girl ever. Also, check out Season 2 of Nip/Tuck.
Comment by Devin McCullen — May 22, 2007 @ 4:29 pm
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1. Ohio State…fear the sweater vest.
2. LSU…think Ga Tech v. Cumberland at halftime.
3. Mississippi State…that plucky little SEC school that’s languishing post-Jackie Sherrill under the harshest penalties the NCAA can dole out: Sylvester Croom.
4. Terry Hatcher…Skeletor meets Cat Woman
Comment by Travis Swenson — May 22, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
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1. Since I can’t be a homer…………..Nebraska. Because even though I tried, there is no way I could ever put ND.
2. I have to say Texas, just because they’re the only major program to put the hurting on us recently. That darn VY, he still haunts my dreams.
3. Little program you wish was a big program: UCLA, just so that that rivalry would mean more on a national stage, a la USC-ND. Although, I guess they kept us out of the championship game last year, so I guess the rivalry game did change the national landscape.
4. Fergie is too obvious, so I’m going to go with Britney Spears. Pre-Federline, she was darn hot. Post-Federline, she burns my eyes whenever I see pics………
Comment by Jeff from LA — May 22, 2007 @ 4:20 pm
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1. USC - national championships, heisman winners, john wayne, the juice, etc.
2. Ohio State - simply put i HATE them, and their fan base makes hoards of visigoth warriors seem civil.
3. Michigan State - that way the inevitable sparty swoon and sparty meltdown would get much more attention than it does now.
4. i can’t think of another one right now, but i strong agree with the snagle tooth (kirsten dunst) pick.
Comment by Jim Harbaugh Scramble — May 22, 2007 @ 4:10 pm
26
Don’t you fucking talk like that, matt. Scarlett’s ass in Lost in Translation was nearly enough to make Mr. Surprise throw up in my pants.
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise — May 22, 2007 @ 4:04 pm