EDSBS LIVE!!! BAMAFINEBAUMTROJANSEDITION
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…if you want your brain exfoliated.
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600. We’re having real, live RADIO PROFESSIONAL PAUL FINEBAUM ON TONIGHT, just because we want to feel bad about ourselves. (Low self-esteem = more drinkz0rz yay!)
What: Tonight’s special guest is…Paul Freakin’ Finebaum, Alabama journalistic provocateur and current Saban-watcher. We’ll ask him if he’s interviewed Saban and find out if the new coach has had time for that shit or not.
We’re also going to talk USC football, the other goliath under discussion tonight, with Scout.com’s beat writer Garry Paskwietz, who will tell us how Pete Carroll gets those kickin’ abs.
Finally, we’ll have BearMeat’s creators on, since we can’t talk megaprograms without discussing…Baylor.
Finebaum: currently diagramming your next five outrages at him, Alabama fans.
Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe. Texas. Something about the power of livestock compels us.
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
FSU. The lone consistent brown streak in the clean white undies of the 1990s Florida story. We say consistent to rule out that little 1996 Fiesta Bowl thing ouch bleed thanks for the pain, asshole.
3. Little program you wish was a big program? USF. They’re on the way, but Tampa trash gone college gonzo would be just epic.
4. Name an overrated hottie. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us. Personally, we’d prefer to fight for Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) from X-Men, if only because she looks a little too excited when Wolverine assaults her in the first one.
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51
Willet says:
Sarah J Parker=Baltimore Ravens
Bad helmet good uniform
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:43 pm
52
Albino Tornado says:
Big Program: Nebraska. Sure, there’s the homer factor, but we actually are that freaking polite to guests — why be dickish when you really expect you’ll win? We’re 4th all time, and we were mediocre before 1962.
Anguish-causer: Tie — FSU/Miami. I can’t count the number of national championships lost to those two, but I know it’s at least three. Hell, beating NU in Lincoln put FSU on the national map in the mid-80s.
Little Program I Wish Were Big:
Non-BCS: BYU. Who doesn’t miss LaVell Edwards and possession receivers?
BCS: Duke. They haven’t even been remotely interesting since Darth Spurrier got called back home.
Overrated Hottie — I don’t know whether or not she qualifies, but I’ve seen enough of Amanda Peet — and her dumpy little tatas — for one lifetime.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:48 pm
53
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Personality Goes a Long Way:
Sarah Jessica Parker is sort of hound-doggish, but at least she and Pamela Anderbossom have some sort of personality.
But, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Courtney Love have zilch personality….and just suck
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
54
MM says:
RE: 47
Cal still has some catching up to do:
Big Game History
Stanford – 54 wins
Cal – 44 wins
11 ties
In case you forgot, Stanford also won from 1995-2001. At least even up the series before writing us off.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:53 pm
55
Willet says:
Stacy Kieb-If a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road is personality then SJP is freaking Ric Flair
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:55 pm
56
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
wooooooooo!!!!!!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:06 pm
57
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Hospitality: Where is it Orson?
Laughing snidely as your radio show guest Paskweweitz spilled his guts about how awful the Texas loss was was CRUEL!, CRUEL! Evan Texas’ Bean was somewhat restrained.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:19 pm
58
CalFanMos says:
54, I’m well aware of the all-time record, and I didn’t write you off, the Stanford AD did when Buddy Teevens was hired.
I’m saying it wouldn’t hurt for the Big Game to actually mean something in terms of Bowl/Title implications for BOTH teams. (Hence “big” game).
While FB stock has never been higher in Berkeley (actually just among Cal fans…the city Berkeley can go to hell via chainsaw and firewood), the opposite trend in sentiment seems to be happening in Palo Alto. I should know; I live there, and its not pretty. The average Stanford fan seems to be either on dialysis, a long-time shopper in the “security briefs” section of Safeway, or deceased of old age.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:21 pm
59
AlexTuscaloosa says:
i really wish paul finebaum would have said motherfucker
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:53 pm
60
BC Eagle says:
1) USC- That program is football sex.
2) Miami- We’ve only beaten them once in my lifetime, and I was 1. To paraphrase the bearded guy from Fever Pitch, when BC plays Miami, we don’t just lose, we raise it to an art form. I’d rather see us beat the U this year than ND.
3) UNC- That football program is the sleeping giant of the East Coast and the entire football operations office needs to be purged like a bunch of suspicious Red Army generals for their failure to turn UNC into a powerhouse.
4) Jenny McCarthy– Utterly retarded and plastic might have worked when I was 11 but not anymore. Time to start the death watch.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:59 pm
61
tOSUBuckeyes says:
Homer alert!!!
1.) The Ohio State University. Tied with USC for the best BCS record in the country 4-1; only two teams in the country have fewer losses in the last 5 years; owners of the only 14-0 BCS National Championship, snapping Miami’s 34 game win streak in the process; Only team ever to play in THREE 1 vs. 2 games in one season and only team to win two of them; makes an annual bitch out of Michigan; willing to play anyone anywhere (played texas, USC, Miami, and VT are all scheduled in home and home series); with its only blemish in the past 5 years being 1 bad loss to an SEC team it’s hard for me not to put them here (ignore my nickname it had zero bearing on my decision. Throw in the history 7 Heisman and 7 National Championships for good measure. Oh and how could I forgot, only 3 Fulmer Cup points ever.
Other mentionable teams: Florida, USC, Auburn (has great record against SEC teams), and of course Texas. I guess you could put OU in there – people forget just how much they’ve had to over come lately.
2.) Alabama – nothing makes my stomach turn more than Bama fans. Words can not express the deep seeded, carry it to my grave hatred that I have for everything and anything Bama related. If losing to Florida in the NCG every year kept Bama out of playing in it I would gladly bear that cross.
3.) UC – University of Cincinnati – I know, I know, but Mark Dantonio is all class and a great coach, and I would love to see him take the Bearcats to the next level. Plus I love that name Bearcats.
4.) Kendra Wilkinson – Hugh can do better.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:41 pm
62
tOSUBuckeyes says:
#59
What did he say??? I missed the show. I have been waiting for him to turn on Saban; has it started yet??? He welcomed him with open arms, but I know it is a setup so that Paul can burn him at the cross when things go sour.
#61 – typo – “how could I forget” not “how could I forgot.”
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:46 pm
63
Kakistocrat says:
Crazy Tom,
What bars are you going to, cause damn I wanna go there. Alba (pre-anorexia) was fine.
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:55 pm
64
jeneria says:
1. LSU because they pay me.
2. LSU because they are so up and down.
3. University of Montana. Hey, it’s a wish, isn’t it?
4. Eva Longoria. What does she do beside sleep with a NBA guy?
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
65
MCab says:
A bearcat is almost as cool as a bear throwing a shark.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:19 pm
66
TheGoldfishCowboy says:
Yo, is there a way to listen to past shows?
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:20 pm
67
CapstoneAlum says:
#61
Hey, It’s my good buddy tOSUBuckeyes…did you ever answer my question? be a man about it, little buddy..go by the name you bet on..
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
68
DC Trojan says:
1) I should say Michigan, for in-law reasons, but I’ll go with Nebraska. I still think they will regret experimenting with this “forward pass” and Callahan, but I would like to see the friendly red borg crowd in action.
2) If this was 1995, I’d say Notre Dame (13 years of hurt) but it isn’t, so it has to be Texas. It was a one off, but it stung like a motherfucker for 24 hours, which is about 23 hours longer than most losses bother me. Beer soothes, and quickly.
3) Stanford, bless their little Cornell extension campus hearts
4) Ashlee Simpson for giving Oklahoma fans a reason to pretend they were leaving the Orange Bowl on grounds of crimes against music, and then trying to surgically overtake her sister for the attention of their twisted father.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:28 pm
69
TheGoldfishCowboy says:
Oh, and I think “mediocre, midly retarted douchebags” is the best description i’ve ever heard of Lee Corso and Mike DuBose
+ 10, a fuckin 10
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:47 pm
70
MCab says:
I’d like to see Wazzou become big. B/c if your school is going to have such a nickname, it ought to be pretty big. Ditto for Mizzou.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:58 pm
71
CornHuskinChick says:
1. Nebraska, duh.
2. UM or FSU, take your pick because I hate them both.
3. Any service team for obvious reasons.
4. Even if i was a lesbian, I wouldn’t take teri hatcher.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:00 pm
72
juanmiguel says:
#52:
Yeah, when Peet took off her shirt in The Whole Nine Yards…wow, pretty mean spirited move by the editors when they left that one in
1) USC; championships, recruiting, innoculations/relief efforts…proud to be a part of that
2) Texas; NEVER FORGET
3) UNC
4) Kim Kardashian for kind of looking like Master Shake in the South American surgery episode
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:03 pm
73
PeteJayhawk says:
You know what’s sad? People who tune in to the show and don’t have the balls to interact with other human beings. Call in and/or chat with us, motherfuckers.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:29 pm
74
CFB Authority says:
#61
Mark Dantonio isn’t at Cincinnati anymore – he’s at Michigan State.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:30 pm
75
Oops Pow Surprise says:
I couldn’t squeeze in tonight, clearly too much Finebaum, but here are your correct answers:
1) The U. They have earned our awe because every time you think their reputation has become undeserved, even one teeny bit, they always prove us wrong in mind-blowing ways. 7th Floor Crew. Michael Irvin every time he opens his mouth. Clint Portis telling us we should shut the fuck up about the dogfighting already. The brawl. Those guys are clinically fucking insane.
2) I was very upset to hear Jebus squeeze on the show, then promptly get this question wrong. There may not be a single decent program who’s ever been more antagonized by a fellow conference team than Iowa has by Michigan over the last 20-25 years. I don’t have room or time to go through it all, but the 1986 loss on a last-second field goal following an Iowa fumble at midfield isn’t even in the top 5. It’s been awful. There probably hasn’t been a Hawkeye since the class of ‘82 who hasn’t had his heart ripped out by Michigan.
3) William & Mary. How awesome would it be if they went huge, just so we could hear recaps like “…and Virginia Tech was routed, 35-16, by Bill and Mary.” I don’t even know what their team nickname is. Is it the William and Mary Wedding Registry?
4) 3-for-1 shot here: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu. Fucking come on. It’s Charlie’s Angels, not Charlie’s Dead-Eyed Coke Whores. When Farrah Fawcett was a freshman at UT, guys lined up around the block just to meet her. But now, I wouldn’t cross the street to fuck Drew Barrymore if it meant saving my own life. Signing those three rickety bags of bones was a complete disservice to America.
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:12 am
76
bruinhoo says:
1) Texas. Some measure of nostalga as the team I grew up rooting for, some little bit to piss off the USC crowd.
2) USC. Whether it be the only game I have ever voluntarally left early (trailing 48-7 at the Rose Bowl), or the horror of a 40-2 2nd quarter deficit and a beer can shower being the last of my student memories, the condoms sure knew how to fuck us over in my day.
3) San Jose State. If Stanford can be a major conference team, then why not the Spartans?
4) Paris Hilton. Solid but unspectacular body (for LA), busted face. That there are hotter women in my law school class really says it all.
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:05 am
77
Beergut says:
Fulmer Cup Alert: LSU Backup QB Ryan Perriloux caught with a fake ID.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/05/22/lsu.perrilloux.ap/index.html
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:45 am
78
Brian says:
As if anyone will read this all the way down in the high 70s…but I feel i must keep the streak of participation alive.
1. Texas is a good answer, They have so much home grown talent (in allllll areas) they have no excuse not to get great kids and they have excellent resources year in and out.
2. UGA, UGA, UGA…with lots of help from Reggie 5th down Ball.
3. Id like to see SMU return to prominence, since my sister goes there.
4. Maria Sharapova is overrated in my opinion, she isn’t that hot if you ask me, shes a good athlete, but I don’t weight athleticism in my ranking scheme.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:31 am
79
mark says:
OSUBuckeyes, 40-57-6 does not equal “annual owning.” History does not stop and start at your convenience.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:32 am
80
Jmuthaf'nT says:
1. Florida
2. Goergia
3. UCF
4. I agree with everything mentioned so far -kim k for the awesome vid and paris from house of wax stripping in the tent. ditto cam d doing the booty dance and turning over her shoulder and smiling..you know what I’m talking about. I think Jenn Sterger is way overrated for the level of talent present in florida schools. Anyone ever been to UCF or Rollins or Valencia Community College (Where the really hot ones who are too dumb to get into a proper school go and people like me take summer classes in remedial math to “tutor” them..)
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:06 am
81
Odell 51 says:
WFVU- Speed Slaton and Pat White are my favorite things about the upcoming season. I am in awe of them more than the program
tOSU- Good lord the Ohio State Buckeyes have caused me more anguish than I can possibly write down.
The University of Cincinnati- Just becasue Kelly seems like he is all offense and wants UC to be Big East Champions
Lindsay Lohan- Eating Disorders and Coke habit’s used to make a girl attractive. Not any more.
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:24 am
82
crabs says:
1. LSU. Talent out the wazoo in LA – and they own it all.
2. Bama. Not because they win consistently, but when they do happen to get a big win (or even a little one) I have to hear about it for the next 12 – 17 years.
3. Vandy. Smart guys who can also kick your ass are scary.
4. I have to agree on Kirsten Dunst – but Paris Hilton and her lazy eye (or is it just her eye lid) makes me want to vomit.
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:30 am
83
Alex F. says:
1. FSU. Went down there last October (my first road-trip to a big time school, another side benefit of leaving the Big East for the ACC) and was simply amazed.
2. BC. We beat ourselves more than a 13-year-old boy who just stumbled across MyFreePaySite.com
3. The service academies obviously, but since everyone’s said them, I wouldn’t mind seeing Syracuse return to relevance. Also, Tulane.
4. Evangeline Lilly (Kate from Lost). Don’t get me wrong, I’d slam the shit out of her, but people make her out to be an 11 when in reality she’s about an 8.
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:46 am
84
Harvey Wireman says:
#83 – Gimme a break! Evangeline Lilly-Kate-from Lost is the hottest woman on TV. She looks hot even all full of gunk. Plus, she is good with guns and knives and stuff. She would have to rank as number 1 in the probable babe ‘EDSBS’ woman category next year(babes with guns and knives) replacing the Latin big ass babes of this year. The canucks need equal time.
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:58 am
85
jon says:
what kind of world do we live in where an 8 is considered “overrated”?
Fuck you Alex F (just kidding. sort of. or not)
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
86
Alex F. says:
An 8 is overrated when everyone thinks she’s a 10. Just like a 3 is underrated if everyone thinks she’s a 1 (but I’m not gonna damage brain cells trying to think of an example).
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:08 am
87
NoleinTexas says:
1. Notre Dame. Sure they’ve blown recently, but they’re still the biggest name in the sport and have the catchiest fight song. #1 stadium I want to visit before I kick it, and I’ve dated hispanic women, so that could happen anyday now.
2. Pretty obvious – Miami. 02 Wide Left was when I discovered that you’re supposed to cut with the vein, not across it.
3. Baylor. Family reasons, and I grew up when they were pretty good. I can still sorta remember Mike Singletary making 28 tackles against Kentucky in 1980.
4. Courtney Cox. Best known for being the chick that makes Jennifer Anniston look even better.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:17 am
88
tbmd96 says:
tOSUBuckeyes – You might want to update your list of Big 10 coaches. Dantonio is now at MSU and UC has Brian Kelly (sp?).
So, you probably don’t want Dantonio to do very well now. If you do, you are a traitor.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 am
89
jon says:
Alex F, all this talk of 1’s and 3’s makes me think that you live with the Mole People far, far underground.
Seriously what is a 1? Do they still have all fingers and toes? all the requisite DNA for being a homosapien?
Not that I’m judging, but your analogy made me curious.
So your Miss Lilly reference might be similar to my feeligns on Jen Aniston– I acknowledge that she’s pretty, just not cover of every fucking magazine in the universe pretty. In my happy place, that room would be reserved for Rosario Dawson, Selma Hayek, and Jennifer Connelly (when she still had a little meat on her).
but I could talk about cheesecake all day. when are we getting back to conversation about margins and the Long Tail of ESPN viewership?
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:43 am
90
Oops Pow Surprise says:
jon – I don’t know what a 1 would be. I’d have given Terry Schiavo a 2.5 before they yanked the tube.
Speaking of which, I’m going to go “yank the tube” right now just thinking about Selma Hayek.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:55 am
91
Anonymous IV says:
1. Florida – just for the reason of owning both the men’s bball and football championships over Ohio State. Thank you Gators.
2. Nebraska – what happened?
3. North Texas/SMU/TCU – With its population and money there is no reason that the Metroplex should not have three solid teams every year.
4. So many good, or bad, examples have already been posted that my comments would contribute nothing.
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
92
Albino Tornado says:
#91. What happened to Nebraska?
A promise Tom Osborne kept to Frank Solich.
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
93
jon says:
i don’t know if i could go for terri Schiavo–I like girls to play “hard to get.”
If anyone needs me, i’ll be on the express elevator to hell
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:44 pm
94
Alex F. says:
89, I give you a 1:
http://www.pinheadnation.com/fattable.jpg
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
95
jon says:
well played, sir
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:56 pm
96
Nick Saban says:
I don’t have time for this shit.
May 25th, 2007 at 9:08 pm