EDSBS LIVE!!! BAMAFINEBAUMTROJANSEDITION
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…if you want your brain exfoliated.
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600. We’re having real, live RADIO PROFESSIONAL PAUL FINEBAUM ON TONIGHT, just because we want to feel bad about ourselves. (Low self-esteem = more drinkz0rz yay!)
What: Tonight’s special guest is…Paul Freakin’ Finebaum, Alabama journalistic provocateur and current Saban-watcher. We’ll ask him if he’s interviewed Saban and find out if the new coach has had time for that shit or not.
We’re also going to talk USC football, the other goliath under discussion tonight, with Scout.com’s beat writer Garry Paskwietz, who will tell us how Pete Carroll gets those kickin’ abs.
Finally, we’ll have BearMeat’s creators on, since we can’t talk megaprograms without discussing…Baylor.
Finebaum: currently diagramming your next five outrages at him, Alabama fans.
Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe. Texas. Something about the power of livestock compels us.
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
FSU. The lone consistent brown streak in the clean white undies of the 1990s Florida story. We say consistent to rule out that little 1996 Fiesta Bowl thing ouch bleed thanks for the pain, asshole.
3. Little program you wish was a big program? USF. They’re on the way, but Tampa trash gone college gonzo would be just epic.
4. Name an overrated hottie. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us. Personally, we’d prefer to fight for Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) from X-Men, if only because she looks a little too excited when Wolverine assaults her in the first one.
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1
Herb says:
1) Bama – 92,000 people at the spring game? I mean, come on.
2) FSU – all the basketball beat-downs in the world can’t make up for what they did to the rest of the ACC in football in the ’90’s.
3) NC State – my Domer girlfriend’s thoughts on our program as we watched the Pack lose to a Reggie Ball QB’d team with 70,000 other people in red in the freezing cold: “it’s terrible you have such a terrible team with such great fan support.”
4) Beyonce – I didn’t use to think so, until I saw her try to dance next to Shakira.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:02 pm
2
jon says:
1) USC — men in loincloths and swords, plus Carroll does schedule pretty well while juggling on the unicyle
2)Louisville hasn’t had a consistent big-time rivalry over the years(Kentucky isn’t big time, nor do they cause anguish), so I’ll go with the anal-stretchings administered by Penn State in the 90’s
3)Rutgers — though I am already sick to death of Greg Schiano, another big team in the Big East is good for all, plus a NYC media market team will make us al lhat ESPN even more.
4) Mariah Carey–looks like an overinflated Christmas Elf.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:04 pm
3
Herb says:
Btw, I hate Finebaum on principle, but there’s something inherently likable about a guy diagramming a play in the Wishbone.
I could have said Navy at 3 as well. Cause more athletes need to pull their weight and go all Ted Williams/Pat Tillman on our enemies, and then we’d get to see Paul Johnson’s flexbone option offense at its glorious finest on national TV.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:06 pm
4
PeterPumpkinhead says:
1.) To keep from getting that Homer label, I’ll say Oklahoma… mainly because I’ve been there and they have a great atmosphere with great fans
2.) Florida under Lord Vader… I mean Spurrier… All those SEC championship games we lost between the 92 and 99 games…
3.) Appalachian State… have you been to Boone?
4.) Fergie
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
5
larry burns says:
i am missing live tonight because i have a graduation form hebrew highschool(not reg high school, ig o once a week)
oh and my answers are
1. texas: just because i love vy
2. notre dame (every time they win i have anguish)
3. northwestern (to see if shanoff jumps back on)
4. your answer is wrong because nobody thinks dunst is hot. I am going to go with fergie.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
6
jon says:
fergie is actually a man
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:18 pm
7
VolNavy says:
1. Miami: No, school does a better job of faithfully representing their community.
2. Florida: For most of the 90s the season was ruined by September.
3. Montana State: Imagine the debauchery with big time recruits and boosters.
4. Eva Longoria: the non-makeup pictures scare me.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
8
Brewster Crew says:
1) Is there a big program that really deserves to be awed? Maybe Nebraska, since it’s such a football hotbed there.
2) Michigan. If there was a God, Michigan would get swallowed into the earth right as California slid into the ocean. We’ve only had the jug twice during my lifetime.
3) Army/Navy. They deserve to be great at football, considering what they have to do after they finish school.
4) Gwen Stefani. I used to think she was hot. But I’ve also had about 10 concussions, too.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:24 pm
9
Signal to Noise says:
1. USC – mostly for homer reasons, but also because they seem to jack several top recruits and have overload on positions near every year, putting them at the top of everyone’s polls. I think Florida is a close second the way Urban swipes talent from under other coaches’ noses.
2. Nebraska – in my teenage years in Colorado, the damn Huskers rarely failed to beat Buff butt.
3. Northwestern – so my dad can recover from the comedown after the Gary Barnett era and die a relatively happy Wildcat alum with at least a few bowls named after fruit.
4. Eva Longoria. I trust you all have seen those non-makeup pictures of her.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:25 pm
10
fred says:
i don’t see what’s so bad about flat chests and snaggled teeth. i think she’s hot.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:27 pm
11
Harris says:
Calling Dunst a “sunken chested lamprey-woman” is harsh. Accurate. But harsh.
I’ll go with Julia Roberts. Duck lipped, bug-eyed, a forehead you could use for Cinemascope and a bony, bony ass.
Even better, Jenna Fischer. Fame does not equal beauty, people. You can find at least a dozen women at least as attractive in every office park in America. Pasty, lipless and an ass like a coffeetable.
(Yes, I’m an ass man and yes, I’m black. I refuse to believe those facts have anything to do with each other. Racist.)
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
12
Jerkwheat says:
Well I’m going to miss the broadcast again so here goes…
1) USC – I have no option but to choose them after the whippings they put on my boys the past two years. Although, I hope they’re taking Beck with Mitch.
2) Tennessee – It’s not Texas b/c my Hogs have been relatively successful against the Horns in my lifetime – but I hate the Vols for breaking my 10 year old heart at the 1990 Cotton Bowl and destroying what remained of my soul in 1998 when Stoerner put it on the ground
3) Any service academy – but specifically Navy. I heart the option above all else.
4) I don’t know that I hear her called “hottie” much, but I have an intense, irrational dislike of Julia Stiles.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
13
jon says:
now, now, snaggle- tooth does not equal un-hottness
case in point: Jewel
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:34 pm
14
Stranko Montana says:
# 5… Does the former duchess Sarah Ferguson actually qualify as a Hottie?
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:38 pm
15
Herb says:
I’m an ass man and I’m not black. Although my girlfriend only dated black guys before me and I have a big…wait a minute. I need to call my old teacher at the school for the blind…
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm
16
PeterPumpkinhead says:
I haven’t actually seen those Eva non-MU pics… I’m trying to decide if I want someone to post a link, or if I’d rather go on living with my delusion.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm
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Orson Swindle says:
Harris–you do not like ass because you are black. You like ass because it is good.
Jerkwheat–we have no idea why Julia Stiles is on film.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm
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larry burns says:
peter you do not want a link, it is scary.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:42 pm
19
Jerkwheat says:
Thank God I’m not alone in my dislike.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:44 pm
20
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Stranko, I expected someone to make that joke 5 comments ago… and actually, that Fergie was pretty cute in her prime
Julia has an attitude problem, not a looks problem.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:48 pm
21
VolNavy says:
I am hoping they finally kill Julia Stiles in the newest Bourne movie. I have kept my fingers crossed throughout the last two.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
22
Stranko Montana says:
I was surprised it was still available for the making.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
23
PeterPumpkinhead says:
I just discovered everyone’s still in the “How to make love to a Florida Fan” post trying to recover… hence the availability of such an obvious one
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
24
matt says:
1. Nebraska – the Osborne coached husker teams were scary, and their fans are great
2. Tennessee- losing to the Vols every year but two since ‘95 would be bad enough even if they had some saint like richt for a coach, losing to a team coached by that fat slob is absolutely unbearable
3. Ole Miss…
4. Scarlett Johansson – a big chest doesn’t make up for fat thighs and poor facial bone structure
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
25
Herb says:
Stranko, her face says no, but her ass says yes.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
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Oops Pow Surprise says:
Don’t you fucking talk like that, matt. Scarlett’s ass in Lost in Translation was nearly enough to make Mr. Surprise throw up in my pants.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:04 pm
27
Jim Harbaugh Scramble says:
1. USC – national championships, heisman winners, john wayne, the juice, etc.
2. Ohio State – simply put i HATE them, and their fan base makes hoards of visigoth warriors seem civil.
3. Michigan State – that way the inevitable sparty swoon and sparty meltdown would get much more attention than it does now.
4. i can’t think of another one right now, but i strong agree with the snagle tooth (kirsten dunst) pick.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
28
Jeff from LA says:
1. Since I can’t be a homer…………..Nebraska. Because even though I tried, there is no way I could ever put ND.
2. I have to say Texas, just because they’re the only major program to put the hurting on us recently. That darn VY, he still haunts my dreams.
3. Little program you wish was a big program: UCLA, just so that that rivalry would mean more on a national stage, a la USC-ND. Although, I guess they kept us out of the championship game last year, so I guess the rivalry game did change the national landscape.
4. Fergie is too obvious, so I’m going to go with Britney Spears. Pre-Federline, she was darn hot. Post-Federline, she burns my eyes whenever I see pics………
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
29
Travis Swenson says:
1. Ohio State…fear the sweater vest.
2. LSU…think Ga Tech v. Cumberland at halftime.
3. Mississippi State…that plucky little SEC school that’s languishing post-Jackie Sherrill under the harshest penalties the NCAA can dole out: Sylvester Croom.
4. Terry Hatcher…Skeletor meets Cat Woman
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
30
Devin McCullen says:
Re: Famke Janssen. Don’t forget, she was also Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye, who’s got a very good argument as hottest/sluttiest Bond Girl ever. Also, check out Season 2 of Nip/Tuck.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
31
parker91 says:
1. Nebraska – Lincoln on game day is specacular. This is despite wondering all day whether everyone really is THAT friendly.
2. Michigan – siting at the top of the Big House for the Lloyd the Clockkeeper game was the stomach punch of all stomach punches. Paterno isn’t retiring until he beats Michigan.
3. UConn – That’s how you build a program from scratch. Doesn’t help to have all that basketball money lying around either.
4. Anyone from from Desperate Housewives, except for the female half of Filliam H. Muffman.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
32
crazy tom says:
1: If I’m not allowed the homer answer, none.
2: USC. The torture of that fucking band is quite simply unbearable.
3: In the words of the Roman Senate: Fuck the poor. Lets build statues of ourselves.
4: Jessica Alba. Slightly hotter than the hottest chick I’d see at the bar on an average night, and that’s about it.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
33
Rex Cramer says:
1. As much as it pains me, I’ll have to go with Texas. Not so much for there achievements, since they only got the one MNC of late, but for the overall atmosphere surrounding the program.
2. Notre Damn. Again, not so much for their achievements – since..well..there aren’t any in the past 15 years – but because of the nauseating way their fans and the WWL ride their jock each year as the “comeback” year. And Weiss is really fat.
3. Oklahoma State. Their mascot, the guy with the 5 o’clock shadow, chaps, and guns exemplifies everything great about America. God bless.
4. Fergie, she’s man baby!
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:49 pm
34
CouchBurnin'Girl says:
pumpkinhead – go to withleather.com. There was post about her up there today (or was it yesterday?). Caveman always links to the no-makeup pics.
1. I’ve always kind of been in awe of LSU. No particular reason. Probably b/c we don’t have to play them.
2. Pitt beating WVU on Thanksgiving night in 04 nearly had me in tears. But Alabama coming after our coach this past December… I couldn’t fucking sleep at night. There was considerable personal anguish involved.
3. Marshall, so that (worthless) game would actually mean something and so that people outside of Huntington would actually care.
4. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us.
Agreed – I think she’s gross.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:52 pm
35
Hook'em Tide says:
“Don’t you fucking talk like that, matt. Scarlett’s ass in Lost in Translation was nearly enough to make Mr. Surprise throw up in my pants.”
Comment by Oops Pow Surprise
Dear God, I just crapped my pants I’m laughing so hard
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
36
oc phil says:
1) USC…duh. I guess if I have to give a non-homer answer I’d say Florida.
2) Nobody has beaten USC twice in awhile so it is hard to get too worked up. I guess I’d have to say Notre Dame for the hell that was the long losing streak in the 80’s-90’s.
3) San Diego State.
4) Has nobody said Paris Hilton yet? She’s odd looking more than hot and seems too obvious of an answer to me.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:59 pm
37
Seven Years in Gainesville says:
1. Auburn. Might not be the biggest program, but I went to the loss last year and I was tremendously impressed with the whole atmosphere.
2. Miami. My dream is to become wealthy enough to give the University of Miami a endowment, conditioned on the immediate and permanent disassembling of the athletics program there.
3. USF. During one Zook year, I went to more USF games than UF games. Part of the thrill, though, is the sheer unpredictability of watching the Bulls – it’s almost like high school ball.
4. Brittany Murphy… does she count as hot?
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:05 pm
38
MCab says:
1. Notre Dame – Name another college that has WORLDWIDE appeal. When they allow players to be paid, ND will crush with Kompressor might.
2. Florida – And as long as Urban is at the helm, FLA will be giving me steady Maalox moments like the IDF did for Nasser in the early 70’s.
3. USM – They really punch above their weight. Best called a “bantam” team. It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder why the BCS keeps em’ under.
4. Sarah Jessica Parker – Hasn’t changed from “Square Pegs” in my book.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
39
lilac-a-go-go says:
1. Awe? No team carries that with them year to year. RESPECT, Penn St certainly, Nebraska probably & Bama before Bear died. Georgia’s pretty close.
2. LSU…damn those bastards. Tailgating is top notch though + hot women.
3. Small program…who freaking cares?
4. No hottie is overrated when she’s standing on her head.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
40
Beergut says:
1. Since I can’t be a homer, Florida under Meyer.
2. texas. Although 12-7 has made this offseason particularly sweet.
3. University of North Texas/SMU
It would be nice to have a bigtime program in the Metroplex.
4. Paris Hilton.
She’s look VERY ragged lately, and this is before prison.
#3,
It would be a better diagram if it wasn’t an illegal formation. There are only 6 men on the LOS.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
41
Harris says:
“You like ass because it is good.”
Truer words were never spoken, Orson.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
42
lilac-a-go-go says:
Oops. I forgot that I wanted to be first in with what I expect will overload your servers tonite.
Finebaum is a real jackhoile & really, really sucks. Your listeners will be even dumber for having tuned in.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm
43
jon says:
speaking of ass and goodness, I am still shaken from the Governor of the 7th biggest economy of the entire fucking world’s discussion of ass in Brazil.
I recall a line from the Onion years ago: “Schwarzeneggar Elected Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse”
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:27 pm
44
PJ from NU in SF says:
1) Michigan – all that history and stuff.
2) USC – for the same reason.
3) Chicago – Go Maroons!
4) Almost all of them. HD media is going to cut through the current crop like a lawnmower at Augusta National.
Oh, and Stranko, just so you know… Sarah is still a duchess, she simply lost the “HRH”. And your instincts are correct. The York girls are turning out quite lovely.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm
45
Oski and ye shall receive says:
1. As much as I hate hate hate Mack Brown, I gotta say Texas. Their ability to sign every elite player still yet unborn in the Lone Star state is pretty awe-inspiring.
2. As a Pac10 fan, I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to say anyone other than SC here. Bastards kept us out of the national title game in ‘04 and the Rose Bowl in ‘06.
3. San Diego State. Partially out of love for the Alma Mater of Tony “fat man” Gwynn, partially just home town love, but being in one of the most fertile recruiting grounds in the country, it just seems bizarro that SDSU wouldn’t field a quality team.
4. Jennifer Aniston. She’s cute…I guess…but I know plenty of girls who are hotter than her. I just never got the hype.
matt, there will forever be an asterisk next to your name. Sir, with comments like that, you’re letting the terrorists win.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
46
CFB Authority says:
1. I’m in awe of Florida
2. Hate Florida – thanks for the September losses
3. Illinois
4. Pamela Anderson – How, after this long, can people still think she’s amazing?
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
47
CalFanMos says:
1. Bama. If 500 motorhomes descended on my town, I’d run.
2. USC. Lose. LOSE DAMN YOU!
3. Stanford. So the Big Game can live up to its name for once.
4. Cameron Diaz. A shaved head and she looks like Gollum.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
48
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Answers…..
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe.
Homer answer – USC Trojans
Non-Homer answer – Florida Gators
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
Texas (Vince Young was the Man that awful day)
(Notre Dame does not qualify as a “Big Program” anymore. More like a mid-major)
3. Little program you wish was a big program?
Boise State – The Smurfs played one of the most exciting games I have ever seen – not involving USC(west), of course. They should be moved into the Pac-10 and Stanford should be let go…
4. Overrated Hottie.
Tyra Banks – I think her boobs and general look is pretty good, but I have had it up to here with her nagging, heftier, “girlfriend from the hood” recent self.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:21 pm
49
HotlantaBill says:
I’d love to listen in but the friggin site keeps freezing up the damn laptop everytime i click it
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:31 pm
50
BDoc says:
1. USC. Though, there were a few contenders(OSU, Michigan, Miami). USC has just looked scary in recent years.
2.FSU. Having a number of “friends” that went there only increases the pain of a late season loss.
3.Florida Atlantic. It would be cool to see Schnellenberger in the limelight one more time.
4.Since Kirsten Dunst was already mentioned(she’s annoying as hell), Lindsay Slohand. How she just topped Maxim’s Hot 100 list is beyond me.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:40 pm