EDSBS LIVE!!! BAMAFINEBAUMTROJANSEDITION
What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen…if you want your brain exfoliated.
Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600. We’re having real, live RADIO PROFESSIONAL PAUL FINEBAUM ON TONIGHT, just because we want to feel bad about ourselves. (Low self-esteem = more drinkz0rz yay!)
What: Tonight’s special guest is…Paul Freakin’ Finebaum, Alabama journalistic provocateur and current Saban-watcher. We’ll ask him if he’s interviewed Saban and find out if the new coach has had time for that shit or not.
We’re also going to talk USC football, the other goliath under discussion tonight, with Scout.com’s beat writer Garry Paskwietz, who will tell us how Pete Carroll gets those kickin’ abs.
Finally, we’ll have BearMeat’s creators on, since we can’t talk megaprograms without discussing…Baylor.
Finebaum: currently diagramming your next five outrages at him, Alabama fans.
Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.
1. Big program you really think deserves the awe. Texas. Something about the power of livestock compels us.
2. Big program which has caused you the most personal anguish.
FSU. The lone consistent brown streak in the clean white undies of the 1990s Florida story. We say consistent to rule out that little 1996 Fiesta Bowl thing ouch bleed thanks for the pain, asshole.
3. Little program you wish was a big program? USF. They’re on the way, but Tampa trash gone college gonzo would be just epic.
4. Name an overrated hottie. Kirsten Dunst is a sunken chested lamprey-woman. Why Spider-Man goes to any lengths to save her mystifies us. Personally, we’d prefer to fight for Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) from X-Men, if only because she looks a little too excited when Wolverine assaults her in the first one.
Filed under: Big 12 Conference, College football, EDSBS labs presents..., Pacific 10 Conference, People we love, Southeastern Conference, Uncategorized, edsbs socializin', fine piece of meat by Orson Swindle
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Stranko, her face says no, but her ass says yes.
Comment by Herb — May 22, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
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1. Nebraska - the Osborne coached husker teams were scary, and their fans are great
2. Tennessee- losing to the Vols every year but two since ‘95 would be bad enough even if they had some saint like richt for a coach, losing to a team coached by that fat slob is absolutely unbearable
3. Ole Miss…
4. Scarlett Johansson - a big chest doesn’t make up for fat thighs and poor facial bone structure
Comment by matt — May 22, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
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I just discovered everyone’s still in the “How to make love to a Florida Fan” post trying to recover… hence the availability of such an obvious one
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — May 22, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
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I was surprised it was still available for the making.
Comment by Stranko Montana — May 22, 2007 @ 3:53 pm
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I am hoping they finally kill Julia Stiles in the newest Bourne movie. I have kept my fingers crossed throughout the last two.
Comment by VolNavy — May 22, 2007 @ 3:53 pm
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Stranko, I expected someone to make that joke 5 comments ago… and actually, that Fergie was pretty cute in her prime
Julia has an attitude problem, not a looks problem.
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — May 22, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
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Thank God I’m not alone in my dislike.
Comment by Jerkwheat — May 22, 2007 @ 3:44 pm
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peter you do not want a link, it is scary.
Comment by larry burns — May 22, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
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Harris–you do not like ass because you are black. You like ass because it is good.
Jerkwheat–we have no idea why Julia Stiles is on film.
Comment by Orson Swindle — May 22, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
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I haven’t actually seen those Eva non-MU pics… I’m trying to decide if I want someone to post a link, or if I’d rather go on living with my delusion.
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — May 22, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
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I’m an ass man and I’m not black. Although my girlfriend only dated black guys before me and I have a big…wait a minute. I need to call my old teacher at the school for the blind…
Comment by Herb — May 22, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
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# 5… Does the former duchess Sarah Ferguson actually qualify as a Hottie?
Comment by Stranko Montana — May 22, 2007 @ 3:38 pm
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now, now, snaggle- tooth does not equal un-hottness
case in point: Jewel
Comment by jon — May 22, 2007 @ 3:34 pm
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Well I’m going to miss the broadcast again so here goes…
1) USC - I have no option but to choose them after the whippings they put on my boys the past two years. Although, I hope they’re taking Beck with Mitch.
2) Tennessee - It’s not Texas b/c my Hogs have been relatively successful against the Horns in my lifetime - but I hate the Vols for breaking my 10 year old heart at the 1990 Cotton Bowl and destroying what remained of my soul in 1998 when Stoerner put it on the ground
3) Any service academy - but specifically Navy. I heart the option above all else.
4) I don’t know that I hear her called “hottie” much, but I have an intense, irrational dislike of Julia Stiles.
Comment by Jerkwheat — May 22, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
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Calling Dunst a “sunken chested lamprey-woman” is harsh. Accurate. But harsh.
I’ll go with Julia Roberts. Duck lipped, bug-eyed, a forehead you could use for Cinemascope and a bony, bony ass.
Even better, Jenna Fischer. Fame does not equal beauty, people. You can find at least a dozen women at least as attractive in every office park in America. Pasty, lipless and an ass like a coffeetable.
(Yes, I’m an ass man and yes, I’m black. I refuse to believe those facts have anything to do with each other. Racist.)
Comment by Harris — May 22, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
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i don’t see what’s so bad about flat chests and snaggled teeth. i think she’s hot.
Comment by fred — May 22, 2007 @ 3:27 pm
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1. USC - mostly for homer reasons, but also because they seem to jack several top recruits and have overload on positions near every year, putting them at the top of everyone’s polls. I think Florida is a close second the way Urban swipes talent from under other coaches’ noses.
2. Nebraska - in my teenage years in Colorado, the damn Huskers rarely failed to beat Buff butt.
3. Northwestern - so my dad can recover from the comedown after the Gary Barnett era and die a relatively happy Wildcat alum with at least a few bowls named after fruit.
4. Eva Longoria. I trust you all have seen those non-makeup pictures of her.
Comment by Signal to Noise — May 22, 2007 @ 3:25 pm
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1) Is there a big program that really deserves to be awed? Maybe Nebraska, since it’s such a football hotbed there.
2) Michigan. If there was a God, Michigan would get swallowed into the earth right as California slid into the ocean. We’ve only had the jug twice during my lifetime.
3) Army/Navy. They deserve to be great at football, considering what they have to do after they finish school.
4) Gwen Stefani. I used to think she was hot. But I’ve also had about 10 concussions, too.
Comment by Brewster Crew — May 22, 2007 @ 3:24 pm
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1. Miami: No, school does a better job of faithfully representing their community.
2. Florida: For most of the 90s the season was ruined by September.
3. Montana State: Imagine the debauchery with big time recruits and boosters.
4. Eva Longoria: the non-makeup pictures scare me.
Comment by VolNavy — May 22, 2007 @ 3:21 pm
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fergie is actually a man
Comment by jon — May 22, 2007 @ 3:18 pm
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i am missing live tonight because i have a graduation form hebrew highschool(not reg high school, ig o once a week)
oh and my answers are
1. texas: just because i love vy
2. notre dame (every time they win i have anguish)
3. northwestern (to see if shanoff jumps back on)
4. your answer is wrong because nobody thinks dunst is hot. I am going to go with fergie.
Comment by larry burns — May 22, 2007 @ 3:14 pm
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1.) To keep from getting that Homer label, I’ll say Oklahoma… mainly because I’ve been there and they have a great atmosphere with great fans
2.) Florida under Lord Vader… I mean Spurrier… All those SEC championship games we lost between the 92 and 99 games…
3.) Appalachian State… have you been to Boone?
4.) Fergie
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — May 22, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
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Btw, I hate Finebaum on principle, but there’s something inherently likable about a guy diagramming a play in the Wishbone.
I could have said Navy at 3 as well. Cause more athletes need to pull their weight and go all Ted Williams/Pat Tillman on our enemies, and then we’d get to see Paul Johnson’s flexbone option offense at its glorious finest on national TV.
Comment by Herb — May 22, 2007 @ 3:06 pm
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1) USC — men in loincloths and swords, plus Carroll does schedule pretty well while juggling on the unicyle
2)Louisville hasn’t had a consistent big-time rivalry over the years(Kentucky isn’t big time, nor do they cause anguish), so I’ll go with the anal-stretchings administered by Penn State in the 90’s
3)Rutgers — though I am already sick to death of Greg Schiano, another big team in the Big East is good for all, plus a NYC media market team will make us al lhat ESPN even more.
4) Mariah Carey–looks like an overinflated Christmas Elf.
Comment by jon — May 22, 2007 @ 3:04 pm
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1) Bama - 92,000 people at the spring game? I mean, come on.
2) FSU - all the basketball beat-downs in the world can’t make up for what they did to the rest of the ACC in football in the ’90’s.
3) NC State - my Domer girlfriend’s thoughts on our program as we watched the Pack lose to a Reggie Ball QB’d team with 70,000 other people in red in the freezing cold: “it’s terrible you have such a terrible team with such great fan support.”
4) Beyonce - I didn’t use to think so, until I saw her try to dance next to Shakira.
Comment by Herb — May 22, 2007 @ 3:02 pm