Golf is a worthless game, and nothing approximating a sport. It’s croquet with more expensive equipment; it’s hockey without defenders, ice, and with an undersized goal. It’s hurling for sissies. If given the choice between watching an entire golf tournament or being kicked in the balls and then being free to leave, we’d take the Rochambeau happily. Adding twenty bucks to the offer on the golf side adds nothing.
We hate hate hate hate hate hate hate golf.
We also hate it because we remain convinced that without its siren song, Steve Spurrier’s offense would have actually invented, implemented, and perfected every possible offensive scheme in the years between 1990 and 2000 and averaged eighty points a game, instead of merely obliterating most opponents by twenty-eight and only winning one national championship.
Damn whoever sent this to Will Leitch first–but Steve Spurrier just did the only worthwhile thing that’s ever happened in the history of the game, aside from that time Colin Montgomerie raped a chicken in front of a cheering crowd during the U.S. Open.
Steve Spurrier pissed on Augusta National.
Spurrier improves the game of golf by one zillion percent. Golf sucks.
We really can’t describe the awesomeness of the rap song attached to the footage in this video, but we’ll approximate by citing the evidence we can remember off the top of our brain:
–Referring to the WV state bird as “The middle finger.”
–Daring to use John Denver as a hip-hop chorus.
–this quote: “staying in the hills ’til the day I die.”
–And this one: “You get burned like them couches down in the W.”
–And the fact the lead rapper sounds like he forgot to take his retainer out.
It’s by someones named Profit Money and D-Why, whose webpage is here. We have given you your gift for the weekend. Now enjoy it.
Mike V, who was really, really old by Tiger standards, died sometime during the night at his habitat at LSU. Mike was seventeen, and hopefully is now shredding muntjac and wild boar on the hunting fields of the afterlife.
Considering the $25 million LSU shelled out for the mascot’s habitat, they’re undoubtedly looking for a new Mike as we speak. Animal rights activists be damned–having a live tiger on campus is just badassness no matter how you cast it, and no one’s gone more out of their way than LSU, which has constructed what amounts to a mini-zoo for their pampered mascot.
There’s a Roy Horn joke somewhere in here, but we just can’t find it. RIP, Mike.
We’ve been carpet-bombing Friday Cheesecake something fierce the past three weeks, so he bar is raised as to quality and quantity. We balance the two by first giving you our Friday Cheesecake Selection, this time from ace South American Torta Correspondent Kleph, who recommends Tilsa Lozano, Miss Playboy Peru, who comes in both static and animated varieties.
EDSBS Store Live it. Love it. Wear it until it's ripped from your body by envious hordes of tailgaters.
Locker Room
About us
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Contact
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
Lake The Posts Northwestern football, which is purple and smarter than you and no thank you would NOT like a ten win season at the cost of academic integrity, thank you very much.
Maize ‘n Brew And still yet another strong, funny, and literate Michigan blogger. Embarrassment of riches over there, really.
MGoBlog The horribly, admirably partisan Kodiak Bear of UM Blogs
Loading ...
