A quick roundup of all the quote action you can handle, since that’s the only college action you’re getting for over hundred days. Think of it less as “meaningless words devoid of reference to actual games,” and more as “hot tongue action.”

Al Borges talks about Brandon Cox’s below-the-waist problems. Borges, Auburn’s offensive coordinator, says he’s sleeping well at night thanks to having a senior quarterback. He also blames Cox’s down year in 2006 to “below-the-waist injuries,” which we all suffered at one point in college, no? At least while we were dating the school’s one and only female hammer thrower?

With the news that Cox is returning, Georgia’s sleeping well, too.

FLORIDA WANTS COOKIE!!! Ramon “Cookie” Buchanan, who one coach describes as the next Reggie Nelson. If true, we truly do want cookie.


Cookie!!!

Bruins Nation’s Mullah Nestor issues the yearly fatwa on Karl Dorrell, calling 2007 his “show-me” year. 11-1, beating USC, and a Pac-10 championship. And a pony, too! Gimme gimme gimme gimme!

The Nestor/Karl Dorrell explosion index may have to be this year’s Notre Dame Suicide Watch EDSBS Featured Graphic of Dubious Scientific Value.

MZone’s cranking through Michigan’s greatest players by number, and also would like you to know that they would not sleep with Sophia Loren at the age of 74.

Bill thinks the ‘Canes possible move to Pro Player Stadium 30 miles north of their existing location in the stinking, fetid, piss-reeky Orange Bowl would demean the traditions of the Miami program. The Orange Bowl has become to college football stadiums what Keith Jackson was to college football coverage in 2005: a creaky legend desperately in need of retiring. That’s a matter of consensus opinion in most places.

Advantages of the move, though, should be considered. You could change the demographics of Miami fans in one move, drawing a few more of the northern burb-y types into the fold. Pro Player isn’t out in Yeehaw Junction; like most sprawly Florida cities, it’s part of the concrete coastline, and adjacent to the vast northern suburbs of Broward county. Not bad, especially considering these are the guys showing up to your games now and rooting on the FAU FIU/Miami fight last year:


YEAHHHH! This is better than that last UFC fight, dude.

Getting further away from them can’t be bad, which leads us to our second point: for a program priding itself on being professional prep school for the NFL, tradition doesn’t matter. There’s nothing besides winning and money at Miami, and moving from the Orange Bowl will allow them to sell more luxury boxes without cashing out the treasury on a new stadium. And that “in-town” fanbase? They don’t come to games that don’t matter, as evidenced by scads of empty seats for many non-conference games.

What could be more Sunshine State compatible than commuting 30 miles to your job to work in a soulless corporate dungeon? That’s what everyone who watches Miami does. Making the players do it would be sweet, ironic justice and also make economic sense for all concerned.