Some names are too legendary, too genuinely special to let go. Tennessee's recognized that and responded promptly by hiring on former third stringer Jim Bob Cooter as a graduate assistant, keeping the name close to where it belongs: Knoxville.
Cooter returns. Alleluia.
Between Cooter and Mike Hunt, the vajayjay-themed humor quotient in the SEC just went, like, Trevigintillion-big.
"Cooter's keeping cool in the heat with a new hairstyle: shaved."
"Ainge has learned a lot from Cooter: where to put it, when to go deep, when to go short, and most importantly, when to pull it out and run."
"Weather's going to be an issue today, especially with communication between the coaches and the quarterback. Cutcliffe's in the box, which is dry. But Ainge has a very wet Cooter on the sidelines to help him get what he needs."
"Ainge throws a pick! And wow, that'll make Cooter hot every single time."
Thanks to Tennessee's human resources division for making this happen. We needed new jokes to drive into the ground, and lo, like pennies from heaven, they've arrived.