TENNESSEE GRABS COOTER.

Yesterday, Mike Hunt; Today, Cooter.

Well, this site just got a little bluer, huh?

Just think: If only Cooter had followed in the footsteps of fellow UT quarterback Casey Clausen and gotten on as a grad assistant at Mississippi State, Cooter would be coaching Mike Hunt right now. And if Lucious Pusey transferred to MSU, you’d have Pusey, Cooter, and Mike Hunt in the same conference — nay, the same division — as the always-entertaining Dick/Nutt/Johnson trifecta. The annual MSU-Arkansas battle would never be the same.

“Cooter worried about late visit from family, Aunt Flo due into Knoxville just before game”

Wonderful, as usual… genius out of the mundane.

I was in lawschool with a Dick Gazinya… take that! Although he actually preferred Rick.

“We’ll see how Ainge performs in Cooter’s spread formation.”

Orson,

Just the other day someone was printing out an FTC report and I saw the name Orson Swindle. Whats the connection to the former FTC commissioner and now Hunton & Williams partner?

“oh, he’s in the coach’s doghouse for sure. And that Cooter might not ever let him out.”

“Jim Bob has also proven to be quite the zealous advocate for health and safety. Said Ainge, ‘I won’t even go near that Cooter without a helmet.’”

I hear Boss Hawg is recruiting Chris Weinke’s grandson to battle the Dicks and Johnson.

I went to elementary school with a kid named Earl Gibbs Moorehead.
I wish I was making that up.

Damn, Doug beat me to it… I was going to point out the glory that could be SEC media days if Nutt/Dick/Johnson showed up on the same day that Cooter and Mike Hunt were there… not to mention all the guys walking around with ’Cocks caps on… it would just be too much… too much.

Actually went to church with two girls named Patience & Hope Head back in the late 60s. Their mother & father should have been shot. Almost as bad as my cousin, Robin Crowe, who now goes by Rob.

We got a millyun of em gud names in Mississippi.

I once knew a guy named Paul Biggerstaff. No joke.

I ran track in middle school against a kid named Forrest Andrew Gay. True story. (And how his parents escaped getting gunned down in a brutal double homicide I just don’t know…)

My best friend’s name is Rodney Scott Wood.

Rod Scott Wood. COMEDY GOLD.

Aigne all ears while Cooter flaps lips

Went to school with a Mike Kuntz. Played tight end. I swear.

His play calling is magical; I wonder what kind of cunning stunts Cooter has tucked up his wizard’s sleeve.

Orson Swindle is a big McCain supporter, too. I signed up for email updates from all the candidates, and it was quite bizarre to see “Orson Swindle supports John McCain” roll across my Gmail. I read the note Swindle wrote and laughed my ass off at the unintended irony.

Went to school with a dude named Ben Toff.

Yeah, he got made fun of a lot.

I cant wait until we (MSU) play UPig. Imagine – “Casey Dick goes back to pass…and Dick is intercepted by Mike Hunt!!!. Boy, will Nutt get all over Dick for that!!!”

Walrus –
“Aigne all ears while Cooter flaps lips” LMAO!

BTW – Lucius Pusey has legally changed his name to Lucius Seymour. Too bad he didn’t change it to Seymour Pusey.

I hereby nominate that, like West Virginia should only be referred to as West Fuckin’ Virginia, Jim Bob Cooter should heretofore only be referred to as Jim Bob Fuckin’ Cooter, or JBFC for short.

Hmmm, where I come from, the Cooter is, let’s say, a bit east of the va-jay-jay. My Arkansas great-grandmother’s famous quote was, " Well bloss my cooter." Which, of course translated to, “Kiss my a**”."

The other day I went to an Office Max in Oakland and my cashier’s name was Fashionette.

Also, true story:

My friend is a medical student at Baylor. During rounds, he went out to the waiting room to call the next patient in and looked down at the chart and couldn’t believe what he saw. He asked the woman sitting there, “ma’am what’s your daughter’s name?” She said, “It’s Vagin-AY”. It was spelled v-a-g-i-n-a.

“Dick is in the spread with Johnson to his left. Play action, and Dick is back to pass, looking, looking, he’s going deep! Johnson has it! Johnson at the 25, the 20, and oh no. Mike Hunt is all over that Johnson and smothers it. Both of the Nutts are really disappointed in Johnson for getting caught up by Mike Hunt.”

I figured you guys would have actually gone with Tennessee Snatches Cooter as your headline.

Kid in my neighborhood growing up was named Brad Reddick.

His father? Harry.

Oski,
I have a similar story. A woman in the town I grew up in named her daughter Shithead (shuh-TEED). I heard there was another member of the family named Asshole, but I don’t believe that.

I went to McMaster University. The water polo team was called the Bators.

http://wiki.toreuse.pl/McMaster%20University

My wife’s maiden name is Fagg, she lived on a street in LA with the Fairy’s and the Gay’s, and I work with a guy named Harold Dick. Now that’s a guy whose parents should have been locked up.

Not “dirty”, but still in the crazy names dept:

I went to jr. high with a Reid Page. Middle initial was “A.”

http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/kuntz_pat00.html

A few years ago, there was a running back from Ashtabula Harbor High School (Ohio) whose name was Adam Baum. Local newspaper would typically decry, “Baum Explodes for Touchdown” or something just as inane. True story. Always wondered if he had a sister named “Hydrogen.”