THINGS WE KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT OTHER FANS.

4A. Wayne is real.

Oh, man this is gonna be bad…what a huge can of worms to open up…Thanks OS.

AU fans hate it when you bring up the “swine research” building on their campus.
Vols wear orange tracksuits to church.
A sun dress on a co-ed @ Ole Miss will give you a heart attack.

Ohio State fans are sunshine-pumpers of the Nth degree, loyal, screaming fandogs

I was driving past The Corner here in Charlottesville with my windows open. I stopped to let someone cross the street, and he looked at my license plate on the way by. Then he looked straight at me and screamed “O-H!” at the top of his lungs.

Even UVA undergrads from Ohio who are in the middle of their finals apparently can’t resist the opportunity to go crazy when they see someone who they think might possibly share their sympathies.

Ohio U fans are more likely to run “band smack” than any other fan base in the country. For the uninitiated, the Marching 110 is a unique outfit — particularly by Midwestern standards — that exists as a curious blend of Stanford-level drinking, FAMU-style stepping, and an early Sly and the Family Stone sound. They’re good (it pains me to admit it) but can verge on self-parody at times. ESPN.com’s David Fleming once described them as “a bunch of white guys in black polyester trying to shake it like Christina Aguilera.”

The 110 is also banned from travel to Oxford, Ohio after getting into a post-halftime fight with the Miami football team a few years back. If they had been on the field during “The Play,” the tuba player would have clocked the Cal ball carrier — and then probably pulled a hidden beer out of his jacket pocket and popped the top.

Still, the undeniable pride that all OU alums are required by law to show in that band is remarkable. For many years, the Marching 110 was the only thing worth seeing at Peden Stadium, and it was common to see the student section fill up shortly before halftime and empty shortly thereafter. Even now, in the brief interregnum between Solich’s hiring and the Devil coming to collect souls on Court Street, more OU alums can tell you about the band than about the football team.

For all OU fans there is a direct relationship to how many teeth they have and how many cousins that have had “marital relations with”, the fewer teeth the more cousin notches on the old bed posts. This of course explains why Sooners blow so much, they are well suited to the task.

Nutter, if you have no visual evidence to prove this, then this has to be discarded. This is science, dammit!

Michigan: Post-schism Rome
Ohio State: Pre-invasion Barbarians

Pac-10 fans, in general, will bandwagon to highly obnoxious levels. Some schools are better than others, but there is just a blatant lack of consistency or respect for tradition.

Also, fans for teams from private university will always deserve the hatred they get from public universities. I used to sell parking up near Memorial Stadium @ Cal. We saw Porsche Cayennes and Lexus SUVs once a year – whenever USC or Stanford was playing up in Berkeley. Any group of schools with fans that come to a college football game in a car that has more value than an average American annual income, wear crewnecks that don’t match the team colors, etc. should just be rounded up and given their own freakin league so the rest of us don’t have to deal with it.

Alabama fans will buy the most absurd amount of fan paraphernalia than any other SEC fans; a Bammer will not think twice about having his dining room covered with at least 4 framed Danial A. Moore paintings, with absurd titles like “Return to Glory” and the like; not to mention that they will make sure their kids, cars, homes, trailers, etc. are covered in all things Bama….this is just an observation.

The state of South Carolina is the exception that proves the rule regarding stereotypes of the state business & liberal arts school versus the traditional A&M school.

1. Clemson, the traditional A&M school, is a far better academic institution than South Carolina, the business and liberal arts school. Our good friends at US World and News Report, Princeton, and whomever else ranks schools, overall, will agree with me. Clemson also has a better business undergraduate department, which is hilarious to me.

2. Clemson owns South Carolina in football, historically speaking. Recently, as well, as Clemson has gone 22-8 versus South Carolina in the last 30 years. Show me a rivalry where the A&M school leads the series. Michigan leads MSU, Texas leads A&M, Alabama leads Auburn, UGa leads Tech, Oklahoma leads OSU, etc, etc. etc.

3. South Carolina fans like black denim. It cannot be denied. While there, unfortunately, are some at Clemson that will still wear orange overalls to football games, so sad, South Carolina fans, more than my friends will admit, wear black denim to games.

4 Finally, while Clemson’s alma mater is a hair too in tune to athletics, which makes so much sense since something like 2% of all students are student-athletes, the South Carolina alma mater is played to the tune of, “Away In A Manger.” Sadly, their alums will not cop to it.

You stole your alma mater from Baby Jesus. May God have mercy on your soul.

Wait…shouldn’t “Cocaine!!!” also be applicable to the Idaho-ish region?

Incidentally, Orson, it sounds like you’re pretty familiar with Toby Keith’s “work” yourself.

Like 70% of Oklahoma man-fans wear visors. It’s ridiculous. It’s like they are mimicking Stoops

Penn State fans are still deeply suspicious of the Big Televen. Things haven’t been the same since joining and there don’t seem to be enough brains to eat to right the ship for a steady five-year return to glory.

All the white in world won’t make up for this.

Coop—true, true, true on the black denim.

Aerobab—no, not now that the sole coke dealer in Idaho has been arrested.

Orson,

Decency prevents me from providing proof of the actual act. However, I suggest you check out the Red River Shootout sometime to confirm my findings, but until then here you go.

http://www.aeispeakers.com/images/headshots/Switzer-Barry.jpg

http://www.repmanblog.com/photos/uncategorized/brian_bosworth.jpg

Alabama fans will take advantage of any opportunity (TD/Int/Fumble Recovery) to launch a cup full of Bourbon into the lower areas of the stands

Re #2. Most AU fans know Ham Wilson Research Lab as a place to get inexpensive pork products (i.e, bacon, tenderloin, and other tasty cuts of pig) as well as fresh eggs. My Tiger Club Card (thanks, dad) was swiped many times there. I would hardly use ‘hate’ in my description of said swine research.

By the way, Dreamland gets their pork from AU. Suck that…

RedDevil—Wikipedia’s an amazing thing, but we remember music titles and songs compulsively. Both contribute to our deep knowledge of Mr. Keith’s catalog.

Remember: we may like Toby Keith. Not must.

Except for the 25,000 strong that show up to the Metrodome on Fall Saturdays, people in Minnesota have never heard of this “college football.” They tell me Packers-Vikings is a bigger rivalry than the Iron Bowl…and then they ask what is the Iron Bowl?

From 54b of BON:

http://www.burntorangenation.com/story/2006/2/3/05721/10025

lawtool, you forgot the casket… we gotta have the casket with the big red script A on it (or if you’re one of those non-allumni rednecks, the one with tthe big elephant head logo).

Officially, though, ND fans buy waaaaay more stuff than even Bama fans (I know that seems impossible, but it’s true.)

Orson—You are incorrect about Idaho and cocaine. May I remind you of the troubles just a few hours away in Bozeman, MT. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2700646

And those are just the dumb ones who were caught. There’s more than one kind of snow in those mountain towns.

I grew up in MT, in a town where when someone warned you not to eat the powder sugared candy in the candy dish—it wasn’t a joke.

Aerobab, look for that Cocaine title to move to the Arizona area

Oklahoma fans are really LOUD.

2002. Bama at OU. The stadium was under construction so I think the capacity was probably around 75K. The Bama faithful drank the Franchione Kool-Aid and showed up in our white shirts ready for the upset. We had a great turn-out and must have had 15K at least so I’d put the OU contingent at 60K.

With the game seemingly in hand, what looked like a midget RB for OU takes the ball 80 FREAKIN YARDS DOWN TO THE TWO! TACKLE HIM FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!? NOOOOOOOO!!!

Needless to say, the bedlam that ensued after that long run and eventual game leading TD was unbelievable. I have been to games at UT, Barn, UF and others and this was the loudest damn place I’ve ever been. Those OU folks have some pipes.

lawtool is right; I have DM prints everywhere, but they are all the same: The Kick.

Bottagetta, that explains why Dreamland has become a tourist trap and people in Tuscaloosa who want real Bar-B-Q go to Archibald’s.

@ #10:

I’m pretty sure UNC leads NC State. But that’s merely the exception that tests the rule.

aTm fans.

Well, then never lose halftime.

RE #10:

I can’t decide which is more offensive, referring to Georgia Tech as an A&M school or lumping us in with Michigan State, Auburn, Oklahoma State, and Clemson.

I prefer the term “Land Grant institution” to A&M school. Plus, we Auburn fans don’t count all time records vs the Turds, we only count the past 24 years since the playing field was leveled.

WVU fans are not permitted to have more than 14 teeth total and must love the taste of moonshine in the morning. Research hasn’t confirmed if the two are related.

Uh, I freely admit that I’m reposting this from a different blog’s comments section. However, I am the orginal author and, as such, have no interest in redrafting my brilliant thesis:

Let’s get onboard with what I like to call my “Social Trickle-Down Theorem”: about 160 years ago the good citizens of the State of Michigan looked around and thought, “you know, we have a lot of unsavories in this here state,” so they gathered up all of the criminals, thieves, and generally bad people and drove them over the southern border of this great state; hence the populations of Indiana and Ohio.

You see, Ohio is Michigan’s Australia.

Well, some time later Indiana and Ohio looked around and thought, “Damn, we have a lot of bad people here” and – following the lead of there intellectual and thrifty Northern brethren (barely related) – they created what we now know as the population of Kentucky.

Kentucky eventually learned their own lesson and discarded their relatively unsavory individuals leaving us with Tennessee. Tennessee in about 20 years created Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia and – in time – those three states gave us…

Florida, the brine of the genetic barrel and source of the election debacle.

To further illustrate my point, every state listed above (with the exception of Michigan, of course) is responsible for the shame that our nation endured during the ’04 election – though some began the slow journey back to righteousness in ’06.

USCe fans leave after the 3rd quarter. Always.

That assessment of tOSU fans is right on point. My example of this is after the Fiesta bowl two years ago I went to a bar to see my friend who is a Buckeye. I congratulate my friend on the win and we talk about the game. I say I like the way ND is recruiting now and the way the program is headed. My friend starts to yell at me about OSU recruiting, then his brother and cousin come over and start yelling at me as well. Now I have a family reunion yell at me about recruiting. So yeah they are batshit crazy.

32- We’re still waiting on the brilliant part of the thesis.

Re: Mosby

Leave it to a tech fan to get angry about being lumped in with better teams.

32—or it could just be people traveling south because they needed sunlight. Rickets ain’t fun, yo.

Well, Mist-er “I sure as heck think I’m a hoot” Swindle, you sure could do a lot worse than watching some football with people from the Upper Midwest, don’cha know.

Put down the barbecued chicken and pass me the jar of pickled herring, the box of Triscuits and a Grain Belt, there!

Go lutefisk yourself.

Louisville fans are really nice and civil. I was there for the blowout at USF a few years ago and they were very mellow and quite accepting of what was a nasty turn of events.

In contrast, USF fans are remarkably unsure of what to do when they win, even in the student section. The University is still figuring out how exactly they should act.

Georgia Tech fans are nerds and will readily admit to same. Also there are no girls there.

Tennessee fans have big hair. I agree with you that “redneck” slurs directed from one SEC school to another are almost invariably pot/kettle, but if you’re talking about specific redneck characteristics, UT fans cling most loyally to the borderline pompadours (male) and bangs teased up in the air to an almost architectural degree (female) that, for the rest of the country, were pretty much completely dead around the time Bush I left the White House.

By the way, I am going out and buying a pair of red pants this week specifically BECAUSE you mentioned it in this post.

Sean, that is funny, and we really are LOL.

Remember the tradeoff: drop rickets, but pick up malaria.

As a Penn State fan – I have to think about this – do I know anyone other than Penn State fans? I know a lot of different types of PSU fans… Is there such thing as a non-PSU fan? nah.

That’s what a Penn State fan is like.

FACT: WVU fans shit in opposing band’s seats.

Tommy Bowden Corollary to the Chan Gailey Theory: Whereas Chan will always go 7-5, Clemson & Tommy will always go 8-4. It’s a law, like Democratic Peace.

Also, Clemson fans still think it’s 1981. In both clothes, hairstyle and in football.

ahh…remove that “both.”

The Alabama memorabilia one if dead on.

Another from my observations a few years ago, all USCocks fans look like Steve Tanneyhill.

i.e. – http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/328/tanneyhillyr0.jpg

We would say that all male South Carolina fans could plausibly be called “Red” by their buddies.

It’s a look thing.

USCe also has the most nasty, vile filled blue hairs I have ever met. Have you ever seen to 60+ year old women engage in a good ole fashion donnybrook…I have, and it ain’t pretty.

Hey, I take offense to that, Orson and Jason. I’m a “bo.”

How about “Randy?”

I know Orson has to be civil because Florida just beat the tossers like red-headed step children, and its cruel to kick your bitch, but never trust a bucknut. If given a chance a these poisonous nuts will spit chaw into your coffee and throw a brick through your car window.

Nah, brother is Randy. Real name’s Duayne.

The Grand Bull Moose Award for the most obnoxious and self-righteous fans? Ole Miss, by a landslide.

We MSU fans hold no delusions about our place in the SEC, so far as football goes. Basketball & baseball are another matter altogether. As Danny Ford told the late Charley Pell back in 78, “if you don’t win a national champsionship at Florida in five years, you’re out of there. Here (at Clempson), all you have to do is go 8-3 and win a bowl game and you’re God.”

If MSU can win 8, make it to Atlanta once every 10 years, we’ve done good by historical standards. Ole Missy has had its head in the sand since Archie left and really, really believes they’re a first tier SEC FB program. Just ask one. And Coach Zero too.

One thing we are good at is getting coaches fired. UF owes us kudos for this past year.

A huge “meh” over Kentucky? You’ve obviously never seen the huge ad looming over I-65 proclaiming Louisville “The best college sports town in America.”

re: #32

“Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia and – in time – those three states gave us…
Florida, the brine of the genetic barrel and source of the election debacle.”

Ever been to South Florida aka “NYC South”?

yoyofutbawl—I’m glad that you and your cowbell ringing brethren are content sucking in football. You’re doing a bang-up job, too. Thanks for sharing your opinion; as one of the two Moo-U students able to understand the internets, you are representing your people well.

I can confirm #21. Texas A&M does in fact lead the nation in school bumper stickers per capita.

Maybe I’ve had Kids In The Hall on the brain lately, but #44 made me think of the “It’s a Fact!” girl.

Did an Auburn fan really comment on the Minnesota fan base?

I only answer to those with a full set of teeth.

#20, there are College football fans in Minnesota, but we’re forced to hide due to the godless whorde who follow the yojimbo in purple and try to hunt us for sport, doncha know eh.

Michigan fans are smart? Brian is the exception. My dog knows as much about football as most Michigan fans, and she spends saturday afternoons napping. (Which, coincidentally, allows her to make more noise snoring than is produced by fans in the Big House).

Wisconsin fans drink anything they can get their grubby mitts on- Beer, wine, hard liquor, grain alcohol, varnish. It doesn’t matter to them.

If you see an attractive Auburn female student at a game, there is a 99% chance she is from the state of GA, because Auburn was her back up school when UGA denied her. We send our second-tier hot girls to Auburn.

Auburn fans say stuff like: “we Auburn fans don’t count all time records vs the Turds, we only count the past 24 years since the playing field was leveled.”
Knowing full well that Auburn has been on probation more times than any other program not named Texas A&M.
They don’t care about what happenned when we consistently kicked their ass, and they’re damn proud.

A few things:

1) I believe the Grizzard quote was in a Barnhardt column recalling the 80 Sugar Bowl against Notre Dame. It was in response to his wife/date/??? (could be all three with Grizzard) asking him to calm down, it was just a football game.

2) SEC fans love to call the other SEC team’s fans rednecks, it goes with the bourbon.

3) I am dying laughing at the mention of Georgia Tech as an A&M school. North Avenue Aggies, I love it. I think the last cows and hogs left Midtown Atlanta when Sherman’s men drove them to over to the Varsity, where they are still tasty and being served to this day.

4) However, Tennessee still wins hands down for:
a) the aforementioned hairstyles on males, females and the transgendered,
b) the shiny, silky orange jackets that went out of style in 1983
c) the tight, really blue bluejeans on underclassmen
d) the wispy mustache (young males, old females, and transgendered),
e) the Conway Twitty sideburns (older males)
f) the round-faced look of the co-eds in the stands that have had several too many Krystals and moon-pies since leaving Soddy Daisy, McMinnville, etc.
g) the male students dress much better, with skinny sock ties, members-only jackets, and cowboy boots, sometimes accomponied by rodeo belt buckles

The best description of Tennessee comes from a friend of mine that went to a Knoxville bar following a game. The entire bar was inhabited by Vol fans that were rednecks, but didn’t know they were rednecks. If you understand this, you get it. If you don’t, you would probably have enjoyed yourself at this bar.

The best part of Rammer Jammer (it’s a book) is how Alabama fans look down on Auburn fans. And everyone else looks down on both of them.

West Coast Smack:

Interesting reading about college football in the South, and other parts. But, at least you guys only have to put up with the opposing team jokers a couple of times a year, since they are typically in neighboring states or cities (GA, GTech being an exception).

Imagine living in Los Angeles and having to deal with your !# rival every day. The city is dominated by USC fans, but there are enough Fucla fans to make things interesting. There are mixed marriages, mixed relationships, blah, blah, blah. I remember arguing in grade school about this USC-ucla stuff.

Although USC fans can be annoying (like me sometimes), they are not nearly as obnoxious as ucla fans.

Most obnoxious fans in the South? My guess ’Bama fans.

#55, instead of a “meh” it should be a big “Weeeeee!!!” over Kentucky, especially in Derby season.

Louisville fans (i’m one) also don’t seem to know how to act some days. There are approx 20,000 die hards from the past 30 years who are seeing prolonged misery pay off with the OB win, but there are also a lot of jackass fans who seem to be wildly overconfident about the place in the pecking order of college football. Beating hell out of rival UK helps I suppose. Patience is a virtue (can anybody read?)

Miami fans, when unearthed, are dirty:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38201000/jpg/_38201942_miami300.jpg

(Note: It took until the fourth page of a “miami hurricanes fan” Google image search just to return that one picture.)

Great stuff. A couple of things.

Please remove that exclamation point from the first “Dude”. It’s way too aggro-East-Coast-intensity to be a true reflection of California. Replace with a standard “Dude” or perhaps even a mellow/baked “Duuudde”.

You most definitely need METH on that map somewhere, preferably in the MIdwest, perhaps in place of a BORING.

A Jort-wearin’ Gator dogging Gerogia boys for wearing red pants is some seriously delicious Pot & Kettle stuff. I have never rocked the red pants, although my ex hand made me some ricking red/black plaid pants that I wore for a few years before they had to be sacrificed in the post breakup throwaway and smash shit. That being said, I would much rather rock red pants than jorts.

And remember- the red pants worn by Georgia dudes are always DICKIES. Although there may be a few pairs of DUCK HEADS circa early 1990s still in circulation.

Oh, and Georgia Techies are total nerds with no women on their campus who all sneak up to Athens whenever they want to have a much better time and see much finer women than exist at their sorry little school, or when they want to see fine women at all. Or women at all.

That myth is 1000% true.

Coop #10 – you know most of that is just bullshit- well except 1-4. It may sound like Away in a Manger to you, but when your momma takes her tit out of your mouth and puts it back in her orange coveralls she bought at the Jockeylot, then you’ll realize that there’s more to life than Christmas carols and Santey Clause. Speaking of stealing school claims – where did the nickname Tigers come from?

Adam – wtf, was the guy that dumped you that you thought was Mr. Right, from Columbia, or something?

True about Clemson and 1981

#62. Stunningly, The Blind Side has the same kind of amazing tales of irony, only about State and Ole Miss fans.

I’m down with Bama fans and being willing to buy anything, and I mean anything, somehow Bama oriented. Daniel Moore is like frickin’ Picasso down here and people have “Bama Rooms” full of the old Bear Bryant Coke bottles, Daniel Moore’s, signed pictures of every coach (with Fran upside down) 3 Crimson coolers, Crimson walls, Houndstooth trim, and a framed license plate saying 1992 National Champs – that’s just how we roll

I’ve also noticed that Auburn fans are increasingly wearing hideous technicolor Orange slacks with striped Orange and Blue ties to games – this trend must be attributable to Georgia somehow and is bleeding into the SEC West

While UCLA does not lead the West Coast in bumper stickers (Cal) or Acura Integra’s (UC-Irvine), they somehow manage to lead the world in bumper stickers placed on Integra’s.

Weird.

RCR-
  Tell me again when OM has even had a whiff of Atlanta?

Drogue,

No, no need: I “lutefisked” your girlfriend, and she said “Uff da!”

I totally agree with the ND write up. I am pushing 30 and now feel the need to wear some type of ND polo tucked in to my Kahki shorts to the games. The jersey just doesn’t seem dressy enough anymore. I feel the need to be really adult at games. It is strange.

Sad really. I might just be me. I think I need help.

Also, I got into an argument with my cousin from Columbus this weekend about how the Big Ten is really the third best conference in college football. Two minutes into it the entire family was yelling at me. It was about how I was wrong. I walked away and they were still just yelling at each other about how awesome Ted Ginn is and how they would have one the MNC if he would have played. I didn’t have the strength or loud enough voice to even get in the battle. Sorry college football fans. I have been living with this my entire life. I just don’t have the strength anymore.

Ole Miss fans are obnoxious and wear khakis, loafers and no socks to footbaw games.

LSU fans throw the best tailgate spread, although you can’t understand a damn thing they say.

Alabama Fans still think it’s 1974 and they are just about to win another 5 national championships. They name their kids “Saban” before the new coach signs his contract and dress 10 year olds in “Got 12” T-shirts, a reference to national championships supposedly won in glory days that were a memory before junior was conceived. They believe they are the best college program in the country and have tuned out the laughter aimed at them.

And LSU fans smell like corn dogs.

Random thought for our friends to the south – all female Miami fans have a sun damaged, freckled upper boob region.

I’m not sure what things are like in Baton Rouge, but the LSU fans we encountered at the Sugar Bowl could be divided in to three categories:

1) Older fans, starting in the mid-20’s and up who were nice before and after the game, including offering us a Tigers t-shirt in the elevator after the game so we could go out on Bourbon in something other than our tear-and-Hurricane-stained Samardjiza jerseys.

2) College-aged female fans who certainly carried the “Southern women are so hot” torch well.

3) College-aged male fans, who generally filled the polo-wearing, Southern frat stereotype about as well as they possibly could while screaming random things all of the time.

True—the upper boob region turns into charred, moll-speckled canyon by the age of 35, resembling nothing so much as a wicked ski slope photographed in summer.

BamaCPA, who does not wear khakis and loafers to football games? That is the uniform for, basically, every day, outside of church and work scenarios.

Wow, I’m surprised we made it a whole 30 posts before the obligatory yet predictably bad WVU redneck joke. Excellent work!

#78
But the women are so hot @ Ole Piss.

Baton Rouge is awesome…food..beverages..knife fights..best tailgates ever

Wyoming football = Beer. At every game, you’re likely to hear the semi-legendary “Beer Song”

“In heaven there is no beer
That’s why we drink it here
And when we’re gone from here
All our friends will be drinking all our beer”

Also, Wyoming/Colorado State (The Border War) is one of the most underrated rivalries in CFB. Nothing like 30,000 people in subzero temperatures all yelling “F-U CSU!” in one accord.

1. - I agree on Baton Rouge tailgating. The fans are awesome before the game. Last year we were fed Boudin, Jambalaya, and fresh grilled fish for hours before the game while both sides gave each other a hard time. Still, I don’t see it being quite as friendly in two years when we go back

Hey RCR – what is this “internets” thing? Is it in a parallel universe to The Internet?

As for football content, I’ll take ours over yours right now.

And, finally – “What weighs 5,400 lbs. and has an IQ of 120?”

Two Chi-Os from Oxford in daddy’s SUV.

Penn State fans are a marriage of the obnoxiousness of Philly fans with the brazen cluelessness of Steeler fans.

I say this as an Eagles fan and a (sort-of) PSU fan (I just like college football and want them to play well since they’re shown more often), stuck in the midst of Steeler fans.

And before any Steeler fan grips about how much they know, name your offensive line without looking it up.

Prosecution rests.

Women are hot everywhere in the SEC, except Knoxvegas. It ain’t like the Rebs patented that or anything.

LSU Fans smell like Corndogs and enjoy being called “coonass”.

yoyofutbawl—the “internets” is the same thing as “The Internet.” Glad you caught on to my slight sarcasam. Or did you?

As for football content—good. Keep yours.

As for the “joke”: let’s not cast stones. I’ve been to Starkghanistan, and I can promise you that there is no shortage of sorority chicks in daddy’s SUVs there, either.

I agree with everything said about Alabama fans. I grew up in ‘Bama and I knew a guy who had a watch where each hour was replaced by a year that they’d won a championship.

I really wish I was making that up.

And though I am loathe to admit it, I agree with #64 about Tech’s status as a “agricultural and mechanical” school.

Also, going way back at to #4 – Troy fans have the worst band smack. Before we played them last year, we had a flood Troy fans come on the big Tech message board and brag about how their band was better than ours. Tech fans, of course, do not give a damn about the band as long as they play the fight songs and “The Budweiser Song” at the end of the 3rd quarter. Even my roommates who were in band didn’t really care. Talking band smack to a school that (literally) doesn’t have any music majors is somewhat ineffective.

RE: blackertai

Those schools having better teams is debatable. Those being our peers academically is laughable.

Leave it to UGA fans to need to have things spelled out for them. For instance, “I would like the fries with my order.”

Band smack – evidence that your team sucks.

A lot.

Atomic Dog: don’t get ahead of yourself. The fact that MSU went to Atlanta sometime around 10 years ago, and that Ole Miss hasn’t been, doesn’t change the fact that for the last 5 years, the Egg Bowl has been as ass kicking contest between two one-legged retards.

We both suck. So let’s not get into a “who’s less shitty” argument.

All the Tech stories are true. All geeks, no girls. My friends who go to tech will defend themselves saying “Hey! there’s girls at tech! I know both of them…”

and those two girls date UGA guys.

I agree that Tech has nothing to do with the “A” in A&M, but I think everyone understood the gist of what I meant.

Tech is the science and math school in Georgia, and it certainly qualifies for the “M” portion.

AU fans are more concerned w/ Bama then worrying about themselves.

#66-You want to know the most obnoxious fans in the South? The FLOREEEDUH GAYTURDS.

1. is correct. The intermingling over USC-UCLA is at levels that are tough to fathom — especially when such combinations seem to last through it.

What it says for dedication that avowed enemies in college sport are willing to shack up for life, I’m not sure.

National Champions wear jean shorts.

1. - Wyoming? seriously? that was Florida’s cupcake opening game in 2005

Mosby, a little touchy about academics between Teck and Georgia? How’s your law school doing? Or maybe journalism or medical research? We all can’t major in Industrial Engineering.

things to do before I die :

1. see an SEC game!

Agreed RCR. 2 wins for us at best. However, y’all ignited this whole mess it with your writing on the eBays.

  At least the chase for the Golden Egg is on TV this year. But is that a good thing? Is it possible we can both scare recruits away with amazing displays of ineptitude?

#99: Probably because there’s a lot more to worry about on that side of the state.

Oops, meant to say #100 not 99.

RCR – yes I done git yer drift on dat inty-nets.

I got me a double whammy of eddy-kashun when I got me one o’ dem M and BAs from Bammer.

Let’s not forget the WORST fans on earth – UNC basketball idiots (yes, my youngest daughter is included. As well as my oldest – a bammer – who would not talk to me until Xmas this year).

Non-SoCal residents probably don’t realize that the USC-UCLA fan bases tend to be regionalized. Orange County, (particularly Newpot Beach), Pasadena, and Palos Verdes tend to be overwhelmingly USC areas. UCLA gets West LA, Santa Monica and most of the San Fernando Valley. Economically USC dominates in the higher and lower income areas and UCLA has a niche in the middle. And black people avoid UCLA like the plague these days it seems.

// Penn State fans are a marriage of the obnoxiousness of Philly fans with the brazen cluelessness of Steeler fans. //

As a Penn State fan who has lived in both Philly and Pittsburgh, sir, I applaud you. That’s really good, and sadly true.

I feel like I’ve witnessed the opening of the Ark of the Covenant.

When this site is on, its ON. Very funny.

“Women are hot everywhere in the SEC, except Knoxvegas.”

Ever notice how everyone has an ____vegas? I’ve heard Nash-Vegas (for both Nashville, TN and Nashua, NH), Knox-vegas, and many more.

#32-“Well, some time later Indiana and Ohio looked around and thought, "Damn, we have a lot of bad people here" and – following the lead of there intellectual and thrifty Northern brethren (barely related) – they created what we now know as the population of Kentucky.”

Probably would have been a better point had you used the correct version of ‘their’ in that ‘brilliant thesis’.

PS – GT grad. I am a nerd. Who gives a fuck when you grow up?

Jeebus … clemson fans talking about game day attire?

As a Gamecock fan, I cringe at the thought of black denim, but, at least from a distance, that can pass as decent attire.

Orange overalls = completely inexcusable.

Oh, and my inside info says this on the overalls: You can’t buy the overalls orange, oh no. You have to buy them white, then dye them orange yourself.

Who says there’s nothing exciting going on at clemson?

Nashvegas for Nashua NH??!!! What? NH is hemoraging young people for a reason. Not even the Boston bedroom community of Nashua rates anything close to --vegas.

UGA fans only come back saying Tech fans are nerds and they have no girls. That’s all they have.

Tzu, it all depends on your perspective. I’m not saying I think it is one, but I’ve heard it referred to as that.

1. and #61 – I had a geography professor who specialized in segmenting the country into regions by “interesting” similarities. What he found was that almost any redneck function created the same results – drinking, gun ownership, gun crime, etc. etc. – always peaked in the former Confederate States, Northern California, and ALL OF MICHIGAN.

I’m just sayin’.

1. - you know, it’s funny, because I only ever see Auburn and Notre Dame fans bring up Alabama and the 70s together around here. Wonder why that is.

“Random thought for our friends to the south – all female Miami fans have a sun damaged, freckled upper boob region.”

Great thought, NoleInTexas, but did FSU not produce ole “Leatherbags” herself? Talk about sun damaged, freckled, leathery upper boob region…which of course I’d still hit.

This whole thing reminded me of this:
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have

As Mountaineer fan I can attest that while our official colors are Old Gold and Blue, our unofficial colors, as seen on any brisk fall day, are Carhartt brown and RealTree.

Coop said in post #10:
“Show me a rivalry where the A&M school leads the series.”
Purdue annualy beats the snot out of Indiana. VA Tech owns Virginia. Georgia/Georgia Tech is a dead heat.

Michigan is surrounded by large inhospitable bodies of ice-cold water, potentially hostile Canadians, and Buckeye fans. It stands to reasons that those folks are armed to the teeth.

118- Orange coveralls are issued at many federal, state, and local institutions.

Women are hot everywhere in the SEC, except Knoxvegas.

I OBJECT.

Over ruled

Actually #120, we get to say that you’re nerds and have no hot chicks while we got 4-5 years being outnumbered by smart hot chicks before we go onto our great jobs. Oh, and our football team kicks your ass and our basketball coach isn’t known as “the Bill Self/Mark Gottfried of the ACC.” Georgia > the Blight on North Avenue.

To add a few more things to Kanu’s points: not only to the Gators wear jean shorts, but they also wear tank tops, gold chains and have mullets. If you spot one driving a red Camaro, you’d think you were in southern Indiana. How ’bout that AJ Foyt!

Oklahoma State fans will forever be convinced that their program is “on the rise”.

Texas A&M fans fall into 2 categories:

1) Cultist – The dog, the chants, the yell-practice, the dog scoreboard, the towels, the dog graveyard, the 12th man lawsuits, did I mention the dog?
Despite this weirdness, I have to respect the fan that would rather stay behind and practice yells after a loss instead of hustling off to the bar for some alcohol-induced amnesia.

2) Closet Homosexual – I’ll give you 3 pieces of evidence and let you decide.
-They have no cheerleaders… anywhere
-They will only kiss members of the opposite sex in the dark (midnight yell-thingy)
-SQUEEEEZZEEE AGS!!! http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=2640

Actually, as much as we hate all things Vol, Tennessee women somehow evade the pervasive anorexia passing as hotness in places like Athens and Oxford. In fact, we’d put them right up against LSU, which gets first place because we’re afraid and simultaneously aroused by the possibility of a real, live “voodoo woman.”

Thank You #87 for making me remember the late-great John Hartford.

GTBoo {120}-

Sorry, we’re forgetting to mention one thing: we also beat your ass in football every year.

Truth be told, we have only beaten you in 13 of the last 16 years, with all 3 of your wins later being nullified/vacated by the NCAA due to rampant cheating on the part of your athletic department, and one of those “wins” coming on a referee fuckup so egregious that has been acknowledged by all parties, winning team, losing team, officiating crew, and SEC.

I don’t know if the tangent of “3***-13 since 1991” is -1, 0, or 1, but whatever it is, it isn’t pretty from where you are sitting mi amigo.

Keep your badass math & science skillz, and we’ll keep the superior football, women, campus, atmosphere, party scene, and academic variety. We are perfectly happy with the distribution of assets as they currently stand.

gtboo (#121):

How about six in a row, 13 of 16, 58-36-5, and you have no girls and are nerds?

Sorry GTBoo, one more thing:

Although we are the dumbass hicks that you GT intelligentsia love to look down your noses at, our quarterbacks – each and every one of them- can count to four.

Rutgers fans are still pessimistic & prone to panic. But if last year was not a fluke, I have a feeling in a few years they will be widely disliked. Why? Because a lot of them are also Yankee fans, and the arrogance and sense of entitlement will come through as soon as they get a chance. Plus, ESPN will do their best to shove RU down everybody’s throats because they’re the only team in the NY area.

And this, no doubt, leads to three hours of independent study credit in mathematics.

Georgia Tech fans will immediately fall back on academics in response to a superior football power. Unfortunately for them, no one cares.

Especially the beautiful UGA girls they’re desparately trying to nail.

Re: #97

I think I just busted a spleen. As a Bama fan, whenever I feel down, I just look across the state line and feel better (except this year, when we got kicked in the Jimmy by MSU).

Re: #126

Ryan, how exactly is 58-36-5 in favor of UGA a dead heat?

If Notre Dame football is theology, a ND fan treats Charlie Weis as the Messiah. Charlie Weis is a genius and you aren’t. Even Ohio State fans are critical of Sweatervest sometimes but Jabba can never go wrong.

Their warped sense of reality turns any positive things into why Charlie is responsible for it and negative stuff as the result of Daviengham era ( Davie, Willingham).. A typical conversation… Their sense of entitlement and failure to see the world from an objective standpoint probably differentiates them from other fans…

NDFanboy1: Hey did you see the grasses are short on the field?
NDFanboy2: Coach Weis is a genius. He did it to neutralize the speed of the other team.
Observer: But won’t both the teams slow dwn?
NDFanboy1: Typographical mistake. Go and learn some English. Typical redneck.

Observer: Hey. If he was a genius how come he’d go for a fake punt vs LSU which gave the momentum to LSU?
NDFB1: That was a genius call. It worked against Penn State! Except that it didn’t work against LSU.
Observer: But you were up by 70 points vs PSU when Charlie went for a fake punt.
NDFB2: You must be a Michigan fan. Carr is a douche. Michigan is Alabama of the North.

(Around last October)
NDFB1: Did you see Mel projected 5 of our players to go into the NFL Draft 1st round – Brady, Samaralphabets, McKnight, Zibby, Abiamari.
NDFB2: I think it’s wrong. I legitimately see 8 people going into the first round.
( After LSU stomping them)
NDFB1: Daviengham’s recruits!!. Watch out till we see Weis’ recruits in action. Speed baby. Return to glory..
Observer: But Weis hasn’t won a relevant game except maybe against Penn State.
NDFB2: Minter’s defense… and Daviengham’s recruits.
Observer: Weis…?
NDFB1: is a genius.

NDFB1: Media shows a clear anti-ND bias except NBC which is objective. Mark May is the biggest douche. How dare he diss ND. Coach Holtz shuts him up everytime that its not funny.
Observer: But the media anointed the same team #2 in preseason and literally gave the Heisman to Brady Quinn.
NDFB2: Well.. it’s a huge conspiracy. It happens every year.. They anoint us so high that America loves us falling from the top. Bigots!
Observer: But if only the media is at fault, why would Emu came to his announcement in a Limo? Isn’t is exhibitionism.
NDFB1: Mere mortals like you can’t understand that strategy. That was Charlie’s strategy to make ND appealing to other recruits. Jimmah anyways has 3 Heismans and you 0. ZILCH.

NDFB1: Brady Quinn deserves a Heisman because he’s the third coming of the QB god after Peyton and Brady. Coach Weis says he’s better than Peyton and Tom Brady at the same point in time.
NDFB2: And Coach Weis made Tom Brady. Quinn is 2 years ahead of Tom Brady.
Observer: But the same argument can be made that Tom Brady made Charlie Weis. Tom Brady had 25 starts for Michigan and won 2 bowl games. How many did Brady Quinn win?
NDFB1: You are smoking pot, aren’t you? LOL.. Everyone knows that Weis made Brady. He was a 6th rounder wasn’t he. But Brady Quinn was a first rounder. He’s better than Tom Brady.
Observer: Tom Brady had the intangibles and pocket presence. Brady Quinn chickened in the games that mattered.
NDFB2: You must be a disgrunted Michigan fan and your jealousy of ND shows. The above message was your last in this message board. Return to Glory. Hail Weis.

Re #140: I’m not a Tech fan, but I know a cheap joke with a grain of embedded truth when I see one.

Besides, when you get to be my age, the smack back and forth tends to be less about who gets to nail hot chicks and more about whether your rivals’ best prospects for funding their offsprings’ education is to get promoted to head claims adjuster. But, as long as you’re young, go for it!

Okay, so the end of the post was a joke, but the beginning was solid fact. EVERY Tech fan I talk to falls back on academics. The thing is, that argument doesn’t hold a lot of weight anymore: UGA is a good school.

Tech is a good school as well, but only if you’re into engineering. And if you don’t finish high in your class at Tech, welcome to the wonderful world of Information Technology!

I love you, Johnny Drama.

Wow, lot of angry D-o-g-s in here, with a couple of really stupid Tech fans….

Praise the Lord, Georgia had Reggie Ball for four years, but for all of your top 10 recruiting classes- you only beat us b/c HE did something horribly stupid- EVERY YEAR.

#105, you want medical research-exactly where is the Medical College of Georgia in Athens.

I’ll see your cow cloning,
and raise you
ibb.gatech.edu, nanotechnology, and optics/photonics center. Plus that whole IE school streak….

But hey you’ve got Broad Street Bar and Grill and Tasty World…darn it I have to go the Roxy and the Fox….

We build your roads, your power grid, and generally keep the little towns you claim to love more than ATL connected to the rest of the world—-you can have football.

Now go throw a bomb into Hamilton E. Holmes’ car and start a riot…AGAIN

Arizona fans use crazy logic to dismiss their gridiron ineptitude. Ridiculous stuff like “we were 3-8 last year, 3-8 this year, but we’ve turned the corner” and “we’d rather not go to a bowl than go to a low-tier game in Hawaii.” This from a group of clowns that haven’t gone bowling since 1998. Like GTech and academics, they are always quick to change the subject of a college football arguement to include basketball and women’s softball statistics.

25% of Arizona State fans are clinging to the ghosts of Frank Kush and Jake Plummer while constantly proclaiming that THIS is the year ASU turns it around, gets 10+ wins, and goes back to the Rose Bowl. The local obsession with being better than UofA in any aspect (closet little brother syndrome) keeps mediocrity acceptable, since mediocrity is virtually unattainable in Tucson. This is why Dirk Koetter was allowed to be the head coach for so long.

The other 75% of Sun Devils don’t really care about anything but partying. My beloved alma mater is plagued by fair weather and the fans that accompany it. Doug from Hey Jenny Slater summed us up best in his CFB/Simpsons post from awhile back (paraphrasing): ASU=Duffman- they arrive on the scene with a ton of fanfare and a bevy of hot women, but in the end they’re usually exposed as nothing but a bunch of drunks.

Georgia girls are smart? Since fucking when?

South Carolina fans are Cubs fans, but for college football.

#91

Don’t let your hatred of the football program take over your honesty. Knoxville and UT have tons and tons and tons of hot women.

Most everyone I’ve ever known went to VPI. It made a difference in their lives and is good for my beloved Commonwealth. Can I comment on their football fans qua football fans yet?

Even Clemson fans uninformed enough to believe GT is an agricultural school love to brag ’We’uns smarterest than y’all, accordin to what them writin yankees tollded evybody in them fancy magazines. Ain’t got nothin to do with the engineerin and whatnot neither. We’s just bornded thataway.’

Before the lottery, GT was higher rated academically than UGa. If the SC lottery is as successful as demographics suggest, middle class and upper class kids will soon take advantage of the regressive tax on the stupid to propel USC past Clemson. But nobody can ever take your orange overalls away from you.

WVU fans are not permitted to have more than 14 teeth total and must love the taste of moonshine in the morning. Research hasn’t confirmed if the two are related.

If that teeth thing is true, then I’m having second thoughts about my unrequited love for CBG.

Also, the map should say “Soap?” over Hawai’i.

1. correct about Rutgers. I was in attendance for the annual Bobby Petrino squat to pee game at Rutgers. When they beat UL, the fans didn’t rally know what to do. Didn’t really talk smack to the UL fans in attendance, as most had only learned that RU had a team the preceeding week. I was expecting way more Camaro drivers and wispy moustaches in satin yankee jackets.

Eff it- I’m gonna say it.

VPISU Fans:
1. Don’t like it when you call it “VA Tech.” It’s on the band uniforms. If you don’t like it, take it of the uniform.
2. Seem completely unaware of the existence of other schools. To hear the average VT fan talk, you’d think no other school had a fight song, an interesting mascot, or school spirit. At last year’s UVa-VT game, we were getting dump-trucked, but finally scored. We all linked arms and sang the Good Old Song, and the group of Hokies near us looked genuinely confused, with looks on their faces like “Wait, WE are the ones who love OUR school. People at other school like their school too? Does not compute.”
3. In the same vein, know very little about college football outside of VT, even less about college football before 1999, and nothing before 1995.
4. Only want to talk about football and engineering, as though those are the only two legitimate purposes a university serves. Basketball? Medicene? Baseball? Law? Wrestling? Business? Having more women than men at your school? “Those things are for effete UVa a**holes.”

Obviously, while I hope the go 0-fer in sports, I would never wish any of them ill.

And yes, people at UVa wear khakis with V-Sabres emroidered all over them. And bowties. Yes, to football games. It’s strange.

Ok, I can’t stand it any more. This is FACT.

1) All male UNC-Chapel Hill students are gay. All of them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
2) UNC-CH has more Wal-Mart fans than any other school. Whenever you see some toothless idiot in an interview on TV (“… and then the whole trailer just burst into flames!”), chances are high they will have a Tarholes hat on. They couldn’t find the state of NC on a map of the Carolinas, but they love their ‘Heels.
3) All UNC-CH females are hot. I ought to know, I married one. (That’s what us Wolfpack men do, we know where the hotties are, and that ain’t at the respectable landgrant institutions)!

Ok, I feel better now.

Indiana Football games consist of the following:
1. People who actually watch the game (former football players and parents of children 8 and under)
2. People who tailgate through the first half and stumble into their seats during the second half (alumni and parents of students)
3. People who don’t really think there is a game, only a giant tailgate (students)

They all still wonder why the university doesn’t just cover the field in hardwood and plant the goals a little closer. Maybe then they could fill the stadium.

#132,

 I disagree on point #2 on the closet homosexuals: if you think the men only kiss women in the dark, you’ve never watched a September football game at Kyle Field, where the members of the Aggie Band enjoy getting shown on television, playing tonsil hockey with their dates in sun dresses.
 Who can forget Dan Campbell’s infamous qute in 1998: “Im just happy I go to a school where men like women, and women like men.”

 t-sips are pathetic bandwagon blowhards who know next to nothing about football. When Mack Brown became the head coach in December of ‘97, he had to tell the ’sips to “Come Early, Be Loud, Stay Late, Wear Orange”. They even had t-shirts made up with this, said ’texas tradition’ on it.
 Everywhere else, they know how to be fans; in Austin, they needs lessons and need to be reminded of what to do.
 Last year, they started the “Make Texas Proud” campaign, in an attempt to stop the ‘sips from being their boorish asshole selves at games.
 That has to be a first.
 Even the hooligans of Bucknut Nation and the drunkards of LSU don’t have marketing campaigns to regulate behavior.

Auburn fans are obsessed with Alabama. The earlier comments about Dreamland buying its pork from the Auburn pig research building/sorority house should be proof enough. Plus the fact that all of the “myths” about Auburn involve Alabama.

Re: #10.

Coop, you are a typical Clemson fanboy who believes the hype. I feel soiled to have even read your drivel, but nevertheless I feel compelled to dispel the garbage you posted here.

Clemson is not a better academic institution than South Carolina, and your assertion that Clemson’s business major is stronger is laughable. The rankings you cite are also laughable. Do you actually believe anyone with any sense pays attention to those? I wouldn’t want to work for anyone who did. Average starting salary figures are pretty much all that matter.

Are you seriously trying to make a fashion critique directed toward another fanbase…as a Clemson fan? Have you ever been to a Clemson game? If so, are you blind? I have seen things there that crack me up at random times to this day. Don’t think for one second that Clemson has escaped the well-founded stereotypes just because the school has marketed itself into dubious recognition as a legitimate research university.

For the record, the South Caorlina alma mater is set to the tune of “Flow Gently, Sweet Afton,” which sounds nothing like “Away In a Manger,” unless of course one is a drunken, tone-deaf, moronic Clemson fan like yourself.

As to the historical football dominance, aided mightily by multiple egregious infractions cases, let’s see how that works out in the next 10 years or so. I don’t think history is going to do you much good against SOS.

Since Now__hoo started it, I’ll pile on VPI a little.

1) If you’re not going to the game, take the flags and oversized decals off of your truck. Now.

2) Florida State is not your rival. They are king of the ACC mountain, sure, but they pay you no mind. Stick with UVa and WVU.

3) Did you make a special trip to the Bass Pro Shop to get those turkey calls? Please take them out of the bar.

4) You’re still living off the legacy of one good year based on one amazing player eight years ago but yeah, whatever, Beamer is the greatest coach alive.

A couple observations:

1.The generalization of tOSU fans being rabid is completely founded. I live in Florida, but am a Michigan fan. I came home from work one day, and noticed we had new neighbors with a Jeep and an OSU sticker on the back. I parked my truck(I said I lived in Fl) in the driveway next to his. I guess he noticed the block “M” sticker on my truck, because 15 minutes later, he was banging on my door, WEARING AN OSU FLAG AS A CAPE, screaming O-H-I -O !!
2. The BEST tailgate is prior to a U of Hawaii game, hands down. Starts about 4 hours before the game, and you get the best of both worlds: BBQ AND seafood. Nicest fans ever there. I love Ahi poke.
3. ALL SEC schools have ridiculously hot girls there, the only caveat being Vandy.
4. U of F’s colors are not Orange and Blue. The colors are Realtree camo. Orange and Blue are the secondary unis.
5. To the poster that complained about the sun damaged boobs…the best thing about that is there’s new sets arriving each year. You can discard the old ones.

Wow, I can’t believe I read the whole thing.

I dont’ know any Bama fans who bring up the 70’s. It’s always opposing fans who say we’re living in the past.

As if any college team in America would have tolerated another year of Shula’s impotent offense.

And thanks to Miss State for firing Shula last year.

Re: #159 about Indiana football games, you forgot one-
When OSU is in town, it becomes a home game for OSU.

And Penn State fans seem to have a little brother/ anti-PSU conspiracy thing, at least lately. Can’t really say I blame them, just combine the 1994 shaft of an NC, the B11 joining and forced pitiful “rivalry” against MSU, and the fact that they have been “meh” at best since joining (and “meh” would actually be an improvement vs. UM), and you can see why…

Oh, and #32, you are definitely FOS…not to get overly political, but if you are actually still whining that douchepump Kerry wasn’t elected you need to eliminate the word “brilliant” from your thesis, or at least add a negative modifier…

Even as an ND alum, I gotta say that Johnny Drama pretty much nailed it. Goes to show that even a Michigan fan can be right once in a while (although apparently never after uttering the sentence, “This is the year Carr beats Tressel.”)

WVU fans are not permitted to have more than 14 teeth total and must love the taste of moonshine in the morning. Research hasn’t confirmed if the two are related.

I have all my teeth. I swear.

Bama_Buck,

You guys are always mentioning the seventies, whether you use the word ‘seventies’ or not. “Got 12” is an implicit reference to the Tahd’s glory days, which centered around the seventies. (Implicit means it is required to be true by the statement and need not be explicitly stated.)

Now the question is, do you really have 12? Like the years where you lost your bowl game or lost the SEC or lost three games, how can you actually look yourself in the mirror and be proud of believing that?

That’s the joke. That’s why we Aubs are always mocking you. You actually believe that stuff. You really don’t hear other people mocking you. “Michigan is the Alabama of the north” – I never heard that before but I know it wasn’t a compliment.

This shit is getting good. We’re actually getting some anger, hurt feelings, and vengeance in the mix. The post rate is slowing down, though.

Bama-Buck

You don’t know any bama fans who bring up the 70’s?

Do you know any who just paint about them?

http://www.thedowntowngallery.com/moore.html

“As if any college team in America would have tolerated another year of Shula’s impotent offense”

As if any college team in America, with the supposed tradition of bama, would ever have hired shula in the first place.

West F’n Virginia fans love starter jackets and Al Gore.

West F’n Virginia fans love starter jackets and Al Gore.

I voted for Gore, but WV went red that election year, so I don’t really get that one. Are accusations of being a democrat insults in Alabama, Erik???

I do not, nor have I ever had, a starter jacket.

And as an addendum to my above post, I’ve never tasted moonshine. But I do enjoy other varieties of alcohol first ting in the morning. Especially on game day.

Georgia fans are WEIRDLY superstitious. Athens is a funky place and so is being between the hedges. But I knew this GA fan that would wear an actual GA helmet during the entire game on tv. He lost paper rock scissors to go pick up some food at half time, and wore the helmet as he drove his car through the drive through at Chick FIl A. This was in Texas mind you. He looked like a fucking idiot.

Fact: Auburn fans are obsessed with Bama. It’s the denial of the little sister/inferiority complex. They’ll never be Bama and it bothers them. You can tell.

Re #87

What’s this talk of “likely to hear” and “legendary beer songs”?? The only school I know of that can claim that is UMaine. Heck, our school song is called The Stein Song!

“Fill the steins to dear old Maine.
Shout till the rafters ring!
Stand and drink a toast once again!
Let every loyal Maine man sing.
Drink to all the happy hours,
Drink to the careless days.
Drink to Maine, our Alma Mater,
The college of our hearts always.”

That’s 4 drinks, a toast and a stein-filling all in the first section.

And does UMaine have a football team? You bet, we’re I-AA (or whatever the NCAA is calling us now). Our only football claim to fame of late has been the 10 seconds we received on SportsCenter for humiliating Mississippi State at home.

(By the way, I attended UGA as well, so I’m a closet Georgia fan…)

Re: #160

Typically Agroid in your perceptions, let me fix a couple of points for you:

1. Mack Brown came in and worked to restore pride and interest in a Longhorn fan-base that had been demoralized and run off by John “I Bet I’ll Coach Better With a Concussion” Mackovic. And, just as a reminder, Mack Brown’s Longhorns are 7-2 against aTm.

2. You’re a ballsy one to suggest that Longhorn fans need “lessons and reminders” on how to be fans. Aggies require a practice sesson before each and every game to remember how to perform their ridiculous chants. I’m sure the Corps has regular private practice sessions for their group ball squeeze as well.

3. You’re even ballsier to call Longhorn fans “boorish” (and have a surprisingly large vocabulary for an Ag). Quick quiz: Which school had a supporter a) hit a fan of the opposing school with a cavalry saber and b) fling a shovel-full of manure at the band of the opposing school?

One last question, just for fun: Why is aTm in “College Station”? A: Because early Aggies were too stupid to know to get off the train at the Bryan Station.

CBG – I don’t recall Erik saying that being a democrat is an insult, but loving Al Gore certainly ranks as pretty rude in South Carolina when describing someone. I’m sure it’s the same in Alabama.

I won’t bother breaking down the Sakerlina=Harvard of the South assertion above — the numbers speak for themselves. However, a lot of the GaTech related smack seems to be predicated on the notion that it is a less snowy MIT. It is not. The folks who think it is live on the same planet where Notre Dame is a first-tier university.

I am waiting for one, count them, one South Carolina fan to make an objective point regarding how the University of South Carolina is remotely competitive with Clemson, academically, and, in football.

Please go get your incoming SAT scores and compare them to ours. Please go get any rankings system and compare yours to ours.

Again, not only are we a far superior university, overall, but, again, we have a superior undergrad business department.

If we did not, why is it that in every ranking put out we are ranked ahead of you?

As for football, you won one in five years. Congratulations. You people were saying the same thing in 2001. How did that turn out, again?

You have always been losers, and you will remain losers until the end of time.

One game does not change anything.

Tennessee fans think that every year they have the talent to win a national championship. And I mean every year.

They must also be color blind, because they’ll have a Tennessee shirt and a UT hat on with two separate shades of orange.

the vast majority Miami fans did not attend UM

The vast majority of Miami players are felons.

Coop – Wide left still stings doesn’t it. It’s OK. We’ve all been there.
I think you forgot to mention your Ag Ddepartment kicks South Carolina’s ass as well, and your Imitation- I mean Industrial Engineering degree program. Oh, and who can forget the Packaging Engineering Degree you guys offer. Tops in the country from what I gather. Oh, and your jetski team using booster provided jetskis sans breathalyzer tests are slaying anyone that stands in their way as well I noticed. Thumbs up man, you guys rock!

1) As per the earlier comment about Auburn girls and Georgia, yes, you are correct, sir. An addendum: my mother (Huffman ’77) said the girls from Huffman that went to Auburn were total sluts.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t see being a “total slut” was a bad thing.

2) Re: USC vs. Clemson smack, I ask everyone to visit Clemson, and the cow pasture trek it takes to get there. Then visit Carolina, marvel at the hottest girls in the South and enjoy one of the best college scenes out there. For whatever else, I don’t trust a school where the girls wear orange overalls to football games.

1. - Those orange overalls give the Clemson players quicker and easier access to a nutritious halftime energy snack, so I suppose it’s a uniform requirement kind of thing.

Saw this guy in College Station walking up to Kyle Field when Nebraska came to town last season. I had my brother snap a picture just because no one would believe me when I told them about him.

I actually thought he was a mascot until I saw him get into line infront of me with a ticket.

And yes, that is an actual ear of corn in his pocket.

http://tamu-and-baseball.com/pics/huskerguy.jpg

The big thing to me about Notre Dame fans is the smugness. I’ve always wanted to capture a time-lapse video of a ND fan throughout the course of a particularly bad defeat, whether a 30-point drubbing at the hands of a USC or Michigan or yet another loss to BC. The ensuing video would probably somewhat resemble a melting ice cube.

#177—this isn’t a college hockey blog, so I won’t get started on Maine fans. I’m still wondering when the Keith Johnson episode of Dateline will be aired.

re: #54

Ole Miss is to Mississippi State what the Clintons are to Rush Limbaugh. If you ever meet a State fan, start up a conversation – any topic – and see how long it takes for them to bring up Ole Miss. If it’s a non-sports topic, they’ll mention Ole Miss within the first 5 minutes. If you’re talking sports, it shouldn’t take more than 30 seconds.

Everything they do and say seems to be focused on their uppity cousins from Oxford. Just last weekend, the president of their fine institution brought up the fact that Ole Miss had lost a baseball game to Tennessee…..during commencement exercises.

And, contrary to what my Bulldog friend claims, we are quite aware that we do not have a top-tier football program.

Since I’m here…..

Bama fans – 92,000 for a spring game is an impressive showing of support. However, showing up decked out in your full game day gear, paint on face, and pompoms in hand……for a scrimmage……is a little over the top. I live in Alabama. I hate Bama fans.

Auburn fans – Much like State fans (though, not quite to the same degree), Auburn fans are somewhat obsessed with what goes on in Tuscaloosa.

LSU fans – Sure, they’re obnoxious. But, they know how to have a good time. I appreciate that. This is kind of like choosing smallpox over yellow fever, but I’d have to say the Tigahs annoy me less than any other fanbase in the SEC West.

Ark fans – They’re like the neglected son who was adopted. I don’t necessarily hate them like I do others. But, I’m still not sure they really belong in this family and they do and say some weird shit from time to time.

UT fans – annoying, orange, hillbilly, trash

UGA – Ole Miss on steroids (with much more on-field success in the last 30 years). I hate to admit this, but red pants can be found aplenty in the Grove as well. Though, it’s not required dress as it seems to be in Athens.

UF – I’ve only really dealt with Gator fans on 3 occasions. The first was at the SECCG in Atlanta in 99 (I was with Bama fans). I was highly unimpressed with the Florida contingent at the Georgia Dome that night. They were way outnumbered. They were way more quiet. They almost seemed apathetic about the whole situation. I’ve always told myself you people deserved the two years you endured under “you know who”. You became way to complacent.

Overall, I have no problem with Florida fans. We had a good experience in Gainesville in 03 and the Florida fans who came to Oxford in 02 were great.

Carolina – I don’t know enough about these people to comment. I will say I, myself, have noticed the black denim seems to be popular in Columbia.

UK – They think basketball is better than football. That’s all I will say.

That’s my view of SEC fans. It seems like I’m forgetting one of them. Oh well, maybe I’ll think of it later.

Almost all Texas fans that talk shit have a friend that knows a guy that went to UT and/or partied on 6th street “that one time”. When arguing with OU fans about which is better: more chapionships or a series record they somehow get on the topic of Texas academics and something like the school’s superior law school they never attended…not to mention they probly couldn’t get into either OU or UT.

You can identify these people by: Looking for portions of a huge Texas flag on their body somewhere, wielding a bottle of “lonestar” beer, jamming out to Pat Green, and if faced with facts or a inteligent conversation imediatly turns to violence….like….how the Texas flag is unorigional because it looks exactly like the Chile flag….they’ll pop an effing vein and maybe threaten to kill….some will probly try.

1. is pretty funny – OU is the capital of the non-alum (or no college at all) fan. I swear that they must do some kind of brainwashing there, because everyone that I meet from Oklahoma (the state, not the school) turns into a freakish monster when watching OU football. To date, I’ve only run into one OU fan who actually went to OU, but half the people on my street have OU flags out in front of their house for the entire fall. And I live in Texas, as close to Austin as to Norman.