FULMER CUP UPDATE: NEBRASKA'S PURIFY ARRESTED.

by Orson on May 7, 2007 10:02 AM EDT

We've got some major revisions to Fulmer Cup scoring as charges against four Penn State players have been dismissed in the apartment break in, beat-down case. More on that later today with the scoreboard post this afternoon, though the SAS Fulmer Cup page has Penn State revised to 21 points, halving their original tally in the case.

In simpler math: seven points. It's a touchdown for Maurice Purify, Nebraska wideout who was arrested Saturday night on two counts of assault and one of resisting arrest following an alleged bar fight in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Police say Purify and a friend were denied admittance by a doorman at a Lincoln bar Saturday night.

Later Saturday night, at a different bar, the Alley Bar, 1031 M Street, police say Purify saw the same doorman and confronted him.

Police say Purify threw a punch at the man. Police also say Purify also assaulted the man's girlfriend when she intervened.

You tell the manager that Maurice Purify is going to eat...his...family!

Total: seven points for Nebraska, whose coach Bill Callahan is "very concerned" about the incident.

At least his players aren't running naked around the halls, or god forbid roller-skating naked through them. That would be real trouble. (We don't see any football players in there, but given the pictures and alleged pictures of Notre Dame quarterbacks that have been floating around recently, we'd believe it if you told us one was in there.)

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Does anyone else smell that?

by RedDevilEA on May 7, 2007 10:42 AM EDT reply actions

So, looks like we’ve got a real race for number one once again. Here’s hoping [NAME REDACTED]’s recruiting machine will help pull in some winners!

by rusty on May 7, 2007 10:46 AM EDT reply actions

“How was work today honey?”

“Um, I was shit-canned.”

“What!!!?!? Are they down-sizing again?”

“Um. No. I was caught looking at videos of naked people on the web.”

“For god’s sake, I told you to get rid of that subscription to bunda.com.”

“That wasn’t it… it was a video of streaking Domers. Male streaking Domers… But it was funny!”

[sounds of profound beating…]

by DC Trojan on May 7, 2007 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

I am glad to see that college students haven’t forgotten the importance of time-honored rituals, but I have to ask: Where’s the challenge in streaking, if frostbite isn’t a hazard?

by PJ from NU in SF on May 7, 2007 12:08 PM EDT reply actions

Hate to threadjack this, but it bears notice.

Saturday night, I was in Vegas, and I met Joaquim Noah at one of the clubs. I didn’t get a chance to see him actually dance on the dance floor, but he was bouncing around by the bar like a silly little school girl. I decided that I had to have a picture with him. Normaly I don’t bother “celebs” when I see them (I managed to not even speak to A.I when I was standing by him, when I really wanted to, but I was scared he’d have someone shoot me)…anyway, Noah took the pic with me (that subsequently didn’t turn out, damn it. I think he may be a vampire or something) and was nice about it.

So while he may be extremely terrible and spastic, he was actually very nice, so props to him. One of the girls by me asked if he was in the NBA, noting that he had to be famous or rich, because the girl hanging on him was WAY out of his league.

Finally…he was NOT wearing a dress. Though I was too drunk to remember much else, I remember that much. Thought the EDSBS folks would like to hear that story. Unsure of what to do next, I called TX Gal immediately after to inform her of the meeting. I then washed my hands, and proceeded get wasted enough to think that losing more money at blackjack at 7 am is a good idea.

Vegas.

by RaginCajunRebel on May 7, 2007 12:10 PM EDT reply actions

The charges against Maurice are bogus…at least that’s what Lawrence Phillips told me just before he pushed me down the stairs.

by Orangeblood on May 7, 2007 12:48 PM EDT reply actions

A Nebraska RB’s on a rampage? Somebody hide Kate McEwan and Scott Frost.

by Brewster Crew on May 7, 2007 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

This isn’t a Nebraska RB, it’s a wide receiver. And let’s face it, when’s the last time anyone’s been afraid of an NU wide out?

by Albino Tornado on May 7, 2007 3:54 PM EDT reply actions

Maurice Purify is makin’ a mockery of the Source Awards.

by Phil K. on May 7, 2007 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

The Zahm Hall Bun Run is a time honored ND tradition…they go through the hesburgh library too. one of many memories from ND will always be freaking out about an organic chem final on the 2nd floor, and being disrupted by 30 naked men running through the library.

oh… and yes, PJ, they do it the sunday before finals in the fall semester as well, during peak frostbite season.

by Tommy O on May 7, 2007 5:06 PM EDT reply actions

oh. and speaking of homoeroticism and brady quinn, Brady lived in Zahm his first two years at ND. Unfortunately, ladies, he only acted as “security” his freshman year, clearing the way (clothed) with other Zahmbies so that the streakers had a clear pathway.

by Tommy O on May 7, 2007 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

#8: 1995, when Riley Washington was charged with attempted murder.

I think Frank Solich was afraid of wideouts too, but for different reasons.

by Rob on May 7, 2007 9:07 PM EDT reply actions

And Abdul Muhammad was a gangbanger. See — it’s 1995 all over again, baby!

Well, I suppose underage girls with Winnebagos were afraid of Shevin Wiggins, but that’s a whole other story.

by Albino Tornado on May 7, 2007 10:37 PM EDT reply actions

For the record, RaginCajunRebel, you also told me you bumped into Allen Iverson. And that you got a picture with Joaquim, but your buddy’s phone messed it up. I would have loved to have seen that photo.

I’m glad to know you made it back alive.

by Texas Gal on May 7, 2007 11:27 PM EDT reply actions