ADIOS, ELLIS T. JONES

O, you failed to note that ETJIII’s conviction isn’t just robbery…rather ARMED robbery. Nice.

ETJIII is a career man. He picked a direction and is intent on becoming the best of the best. Gotta admire that kind of single-mindedness of purpose. And kudos for honoring him with the name of the award… credit where it’s due, etc.

On another note, teflon is a requirement of a successful program. Not that I would wish to emulate anything reFSU does, but it is worthy of note that due to Blobby Bowden’s unmistakable ability as a fellatist reFSU has remained unbelievably teflon for an exceptionally long period, with only some minor pitfalls for resurfacing.

I can’t wait for the inevitable story:

“Ellis T. Jones Shanks Man in Prison”
Visalia, CA; AP

In what seems to be only the next logical chapter in a story of one man’s chase at criminal supremacy, Ellis T. Jones has been charged with stabbing a man in prison. Jones, a former SJSU student athlete, is accused of filing down a toothbrush in his cell, taping it to a broken broom handle, and using it as a weapon against his fellow inmates.

Jones allegedly lured inmates to his cell with promises of “some smokes and hand loving,” before brutally stabbing them and trying to flush their bodies down his tiny toliet. When reached for comment in prison, Jones stated, “Tell all my lawyas that ETJ III is still reppin hard for da real lawyas in da streets. I just need space. Space, bitches. What?”

Jones’ former coach at SJSU, “Dick” Tomey, when informed of the latest trouble, responded, “He stabbed WHAT? I told you that boy was dedicated. Yeeeah, clickclack.”

Jones is expected to be paroled late next year.

addendum:

Jones has already been offered a scholarship by Coach Dennis Erickson at Arizone State University, provided he is released by 2008, when Coach Erickson is expected to leave ASU for another coaching position.

Ellis T. Jones vs. Maurice Clarett
Tonight at the Bellaggio
Undercard:
Donna Bragg vs. Paula Jones

I’d kill a snitch. I’m not saying I have. I’m not saying I haven’t.

Whatever. You kids dont know shit.

Red Devil, could we somehow throw in the crazy astronaut lady to the undercard as well?

RCR, you’re en fuego!

italiangator-Round Card Girl, perhaps? Someone’s got to be there to throw the metal folding chairs into the ring.

How do affray charges get dropped when they cannot identify who started the altercation? My understanding is that crux of an affray charge is the public disturbance that is caused by the fight, not the fight itself. I got one myself for watching (not participating in) a fight in Athens one night.

Thread jack: WTF is going in on the “Rejected by eHarmonry” Ad??

eHarmony tends to filter out the non-traditional and irreligious. I guess Chemistry is where you go to find the freaky people who want to find that certain someone.

That woman does have that look to her like she was following Manson or kicking it on Jim Jones’ acreage.

That runaway bride bitch from the ATL (Dunwoody was it?) should be on the Rejected by eHarmony ad. Maybe they should sponsor the Clarett v. ETJ fight. ‘Cuz freaks need lovin’ , too.

All that ad makes me want to do is join eHarmony to find “good southern baptist girls” who’re freaks in the sack…and then break their hearts.

It must be great being a prosecutor in G’ville… go watch practice, drop a few charges, go watch cheerleading practice, go get a beer…

Brian, here’s what you do: Lure them into the bedroom, wherein you convince them to engage in the most outlandish, deviant, paraphiliac sex acts imaginable. Whips, chains, spanking, peeing, threesomes, fivesomes, ball gags, everything you’ve ever thought about doing and then some. Then the next time they approach you about “taking the relationship to the next level” or even simply going out on another date, you shuffle your feet apologetically and tell them, “Look, I’m sorry . . . but I only date nice girls.”

Save yourselves an e-mail, feminists and/or “sensitive guys” — that idea was suggested to me by my little sister.

here’s a great chemisty ad

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XsSNo38E6EU

Doug-

Only a woman could come up with that. That’s the real reason lesbians never break up— women know what other women are capable of, and choose not to risk it.

Seriously, though, nonsense like that can lead to the girl posting a video on You Tube where she’s pegging the daylights out of you.

I see TCOAN has been browsing the world of soccer stars’ sex lives, eh?

Minor point for RCR:
Jones allegedly lured inmates to his cell with promises of "some smokes and hand loving,"

Wouldn’t it be the loving first and the smokes second? Maybe it’s a little different in jail…

Why oh why can’t this trend have spread to Central PA? We’re as hip to that jive as the next homey. so unfair.

TCOAN, your comments never cease to raise the hairs on the back of my neck… y’know, for years it never occurred to me that people thought, much less that they thought that way. Now you’ve got me lookin’ over my shoulder!

I’m guessing that if there isn’t already an ETJ IV, there isn’t going to be as ETJ III will likely be spending a majority of his remaining days in a single sex environment…

What a shame?

Not necessarilly true, Turf…as RCR so eloquently stated above, ETJIII apparently has quite the prowess for persuasion of others. I can certainly forsee him wooing a female jailer for a quick ride on the Love Train. IV could be soon to follow.

Poor, poor Stefan Postma. Google it and watch, if you’re not at work or looking to get fired.

That’s the real reason lesbians never break up– women know what other women are capable of, and choose not to risk it.

Are you sure it’s not just the moving costs?

DC Trojan:

Do not think so….Postma’s ex leaked a video of her wearing a strap-on and has him bent over like a little *.

Oh, it’s bad. Just awful, in fact. South Park couldn’t make up a scene that would seem as embarrassing as Postma’s getting pegged by his girlfriend.

I hadn’t heard tell of Postma and the post-mount, but that is slightly embarrassing. I don’t know whether it’s any more homoerotic than all those English soccer players who insist on sharing women among 3 or 4 at a time – “it just slipped in, Rio, I swear!”

Where do I send contributions to Ellis T. Jones’ commissary fund?