BLOGTOBERFEST! BOBBY BOWDEN WILL NOT LET YOU GO TO TENNESSEE EDITION.

by Orson on May 1, 2007 2:58 PM EDT

Blogtoberfest! We'll let you transfer wherever you want to go, baby.

Brandon Warren cannot play this Division 1 football you speak of, sir. Beginning the long list of things we'd at least like to mention...Bobby Bowden refuses to grant a release of scholarship to TE Brandon Warren, who initially signed on with the Seminoles before flaking out mid-semester and leaving school to take care of his ailing mother.

Google Image: making the symbolism just a bit too easy.

Seminolians claim Warren's just homesick and dredging up his mother's illness to excuse himself from his contractual obligations to FSU, all the while convincing the only recruit he was in charge of showing around the campus to make a firm commitment to the University of Tennessee.

That, for the record, is not Florida State, the school he played a smidge of football at this past year.

Warren...um, Warren-ites claim he's got a legitimate case. An FSU review board didn't think so, so Warren's on to pleading his case with the NCAA for a hardship (prognosis: meh) or to playing for a D-1AA or NAIA team. Carson-Newman, raise up!

Sit down: we're actually going to give Bobby Bowden the benefit of the doubt here, since we're unsure on whether FSU as a whole are being dicks to a kid who just wants out of a place he obviously didn't like very much. We are sure, though, that today will involve a nap for Bowden under a soft blanket in a quiet, cool room. That's a certainty.

Las Cronicas... continue for Boss Hawg. Hootens has a video interview with Nutt. His mannerisms are something a reader captured better than we can:

Just watch it. I'm a cop and I'm telling you his nervous mannerisims reek of deception.

Houston, don't take the poly. Just don't you may think you can beat the machine by flexing your ass muscles, but it won't work. Trust us here. A drug charge in Malaysia's hard to beat, but we only did it with a suitcase full of cash and the help of wily Nigerian we only knew as "Harabe." The lie detector, though, worked just fine.

Michiganders and Vicodin. No charges, but two Michigan football players pulled over in a car with marijuana and Vicodin (the capital v is for "Very, very numb") only adds a nettle to the thorny offseason Michigan's endured already. Lloyd presumably closed practice in order to strip search players for contraband. Lab results are pending, but according to Jim Delany, Big Ten football players are smart enough to do their own lab work, and will have them processed shortly. Too bad SEC players steal the lab equipment in plain sight and then outrun them.

NCAA cracking down on prep schools. More Pete Thamel digdugging through the pay-to-play prep system used very successfully by basketball schools and to a lesser extent by football programs. The greatest beneficiary? Junior colleges, who already salivating over the chance to pick up the slack:

Byrnes also said those benefiting the most from this rule were junior colleges.

"They went from eating Caesar salad to prime rib," Byrnes said.

Prime rib's awfully fatty. Then again, so are many linemen moving slowly up the juco ladder to big programs, so the metaphorical fit is an apt one.

Finally, a chance to read half-assed commentary about cricket. We're slowly but surely starting up the Fanhaus, the cosmopolitan freakshow section of AOL's Fanhouse focusing exclusively on the wild, wacky, and often virally contagious world of international sport.
Did you know that a funeral service sponsors the World Lawn Bowling Championships? Or that Aussie cricket players live like Colin Farrell, minus the herpes and half-assed homemade porno? You do now.

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“Lab results are pending, but according to Jim Delany, Big Ten football players are smart enough to do their own lab work, and will have them processed shortly. Too bad SEC players steal the lab equipment in plain sight and then outrun them. "

ROTFLMAO!!

Well played, sir.

by Beergut on May 1, 2007 3:26 PM EDT reply actions

Mountain Dew all over my new tie. Thanks Orson.

by Hook'em Tide on May 1, 2007 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

Didn’t Tammy Bowden refuse to let CJ Spiller transfer to Florida?

by Out of Conference on May 1, 2007 3:58 PM EDT reply actions

This reeks of the Devard Darling debacle.

by ChompEmGators on May 1, 2007 4:10 PM EDT reply actions

PSU just announced a game time for the September 8th (evidentiary hearing) match up against notre dame. 6:00pm kickoff – the parking lots will open at 8am 8am – 6pm? PODH – peak outdoor dancing hours.

I (still) need a dancefloor!

by PSUgirl on May 1, 2007 5:17 PM EDT reply actions

From the ‘who says ASU grads can’t do research?’ department, here’s a juicy quote from Papa Bowden via the Tallahassee Democrat:

“When Brandon came by my office in January 2007 to tell me he wanted to transfer from FSU, I told him I would not even consider it. If players are allowed to break a contract whenever they wish, we do not need the national letter-of-intent. Without it, we would allow unscrupulous coaches to steal players from other schools. It would cost thousands of dollars every time this occurs.

“I would like to see Brandon become a man and honor his commitment.”

On top of all of this, he can’t play division 1 football at FSU since he hasn’t completed his academic requirements set forth in the LOI. It’s not good to be Brandon Warren, apparently.

http://www.national-letter.org/faq/

by Big Jon on May 1, 2007 5:18 PM EDT reply actions

Warren hasn’t completed his academic requirements to play D-1 ball at FSU? Am I to assume that he needs to partake in one of the following to be eligible: discharging a weapon, assault a young girl, get caught driving recklessly while under the influence, or commit grand theft auto?

by Rome on May 2, 2007 1:28 AM EDT reply actions

You forgot stealing shoes.

by blackertai on May 2, 2007 2:50 AM EDT reply actions

PSUgirl, that dancefloor will be ND’s sideline, right after we beat them like they lived in a State College apartment.

by Chadwick on May 2, 2007 6:35 AM EDT reply actions

Oh yeah….Nutt is TOTALLY covering something up.

Kinda looks like Renfield from “Dracula” or that guy in “Reefer Madness” who keeps saying “play Faster! FASTER!!!”

by Blue on May 2, 2007 6:50 AM EDT reply actions

“PSUgirl, that dancefloor will be ND’s sideline, right after we beat them like they lived in a State College apartment.”

Wouldn’t start dancing on the sidelines just yet……..

by cuss on May 2, 2007 10:40 AM EDT reply actions

Not to be a homer, but there’s a reason for this….as does why Bobby called Fulmer last January telling him to quit contacting his players. Of course, laws preclude FSU from commenting on the situation.

FSU has allowed players…many of them good…to transfer all over the country, including Vannez Gooch to Florida of all places.

Clarence Ward went to Texas Tech, sure could use him now.

Lorne Sam went to UTEP.

by NoleinTexas on May 2, 2007 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

If your memory was better, you’d know that Gooch had to basically lie to Blobby about his destination school to get the transfer. Otherwise that fat man would have never signed his release.

by Jason on May 2, 2007 5:39 PM EDT reply actions

Orson Swindle, thanks for mentioning Carson-Newman, my alma mater! The Newman has the distinction of being the only church camp that grants a four year degree. It makes perfect sense that he’d go there. I hope they don’t convince him that Jesus wants him to play out his eligibility in Jefferson City, though.

by CrazyVolFan on May 5, 2007 9:21 PM EDT reply actions

my cousin is very talented at playing foot and can play football he did a lot a good things for fsu but, theres no place like home everything happens for a reason now i dont like what this article says about my cousin now he left because my aunt got really sick and now he’s a vol but, he has no regrets and if he did have a regret it would be that he wasted a year of his time going to florida state and being a Seminole but he most likely dont regret that so stop hating and show my cousin some b dub love thanks

by bradons cuzo on Oct 11, 2008 12:57 PM EDT reply actions