Blogtoberfest! We’ll let you transfer wherever you want to go, baby.

Brandon Warren cannot play this Division 1 football you speak of, sir. Beginning the long list of things we’d at least like to mention…Bobby Bowden refuses to grant a release of scholarship to TE Brandon Warren, who initially signed on with the Seminoles before flaking out mid-semester and leaving school to take care of his ailing mother.


Google Image: making the symbolism just a bit too easy.

Seminolians claim Warren’s just homesick and dredging up his mother’s illness to excuse himself from his contractual obligations to FSU, all the while convincing the only recruit he was in charge of showing around the campus to make a firm commitment to the University of Tennessee. That, for the record, is not Florida State, the school he played a smidge of football at this past year.

Warren…um, Warren-ites claim he’s got a legitimate case. An FSU review board didn’t think so, so Warren’s on to pleading his case with the NCAA for a hardship (prognosis: meh) or to playing for a D-1AA or NAIA team. Carson-Newman, raise up!

Sit down: we’re actually going to give Bobby Bowden the benefit of the doubt here, since we’re unsure on whether FSU as a whole are being dicks to a kid who just wants out of a place he obviously didn’t like very much. We are sure, though, that today will involve a nap for Bowden under a soft blanket in a quiet, cool room. That’s a certainty.

Las Cronicas… continue for Boss Hawg. Hootens has a video interview with Nutt. His mannerisms are something a reader captured better than we can:

Just watch it. I’m a cop and I’m telling you his nervous mannerisims reek of deception.

Houston, don’t take the poly. Just don’t you may think you can beat the machine by flexing your ass muscles, but it won’t work. Trust us here. A drug charge in Malaysia’s hard to beat, but we only did it with a suitcase full of cash and the help of wily Nigerian we only knew as “Harabe.” The lie detector, though, worked just fine.

Michiganders and Vicodin. No charges, but two Michigan football players pulled over in a car with marijuana and Vicodin (the capital v is for “Very, very numb”) only adds a nettle to the thorny offseason Michigan’s endured already. Lloyd presumably closed practice in order to strip search players for contraband. Lab results are pending, but according to Jim Delany, Big Ten football players are smart enough to do their own lab work, and will have them processed shortly. Too bad SEC players steal the lab equipment in plain sight and then outrun them.

NCAA cracking down on prep schools. More Pete Thamel digdugging through the pay-to-play prep system used very successfully by basketball schools and to a lesser extent by football programs. The greatest beneficiary? Junior colleges, who already salivating over the chance to pick up the slack:

Byrnes also said those benefiting the most from this rule were junior colleges.

“They went from eating Caesar salad to prime rib,” Byrnes said.

Prime rib’s awfully fatty. Then again, so are many linemen moving slowly up the juco ladder to big programs, so the metaphorical fit is an apt one.

Finally, a chance to read half-assed commentary about cricket. We’re slowly but surely starting up the Fanhaus, the cosmopolitan freakshow section of AOL’s Fanhouse focusing exclusively on the wild, wacky, and often virally contagious world of international sport.
Did you know that a funeral service sponsors the World Lawn Bowling Championships? Or that Aussie cricket players live like Colin Farrell, minus the herpes and half-assed homemade porno? You do now.