Everyday Should Be Saturday

May 1, 2007

EDSBS LIVE! BARNHART BARNHART BARNHART

Click here to join the show!

What: EDSBS LIVE online radio Click that or the banner thingy to your right to listen.

Where: At NowLive, where you can chat with each other and the show hosts throughout the broadcast in the online forum (which has gotten damn lively). To phone in to the show, just call (310) 984-7600.

What: Tonight’s special guest is Tony “Mr. College Football” Barnhart, a columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and author of “Southern Fried Football: The History, Passion, And Glory” BARNHART! BARNHART! BARNHART! We’re obviously excited.


Tony F’n Barnhart: on EDSBS Live! tonight.

Four Questions: As always, our four questions for the night.

1. Which sportswriter gets under your skin the most? Besides Matt Hayes and Skip Bayless, because that is just cheating, you scoundrel, you.

2. Tell us a sportswriter you like who others seem to underrate and/or unfairly bash?

We’re on the fence with Simmons, but that’s a deep, deep topic for bloggers. It’s kind of hard not to feel like Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner confronting his maker: you want to push his eyeballs into his brain, but he did sort of make you, no?

3. You get to pick one writer who doesn’t currently cover sports to become a sports writer.

Neal Stephenson. We just want to see him try it once.

4. Because our show is so dependent on juvenile humor, the obligatory sex question: What’s your lovin’ song?

If we hear “Untitled” by D’Angelo, we’re making love to someone, dammit. It might very well be ourselves, but our inner Mutombo starts sexing anything in sight when it comes on. We can’t wait to see someone say a Mastodon song is their lovin’ music.



Filed under: Blog Buddies, edsbs socializin', media whoring  by Orson Swindle

BLOGTOBERFEST! BOBBY BOWDEN WILL NOT LET YOU GO TO TENNESSEE EDITION.

Blogtoberfest! We’ll let you transfer wherever you want to go, baby.

Brandon Warren cannot play this Division 1 football you speak of, sir. Beginning the long list of things we’d at least like to mention…Bobby Bowden refuses to grant a release of scholarship to TE Brandon Warren, who initially signed on with the Seminoles before flaking out mid-semester and leaving school to take care of his ailing mother.


Google Image: making the symbolism just a bit too easy.

Seminolians claim Warren’s just homesick and dredging up his mother’s illness to excuse himself from his contractual obligations to FSU, all the while convincing the only recruit he was in charge of showing around the campus to make a firm commitment to the University of Tennessee. (more…)



Filed under: Atlantic Coast Conference, Big 10 Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, I have sugar problems, media whoring, ncaa as evil regulator, yor failed career as a badass  by Orson Swindle

DROOL, MONKEYS, DROOL: TWO OPENING GAMES YOU SHOULD WATCH FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS

With spring behind us and only the long, slow, sad hibernation of summer ahead of us, the college football fan has options now. You could focus on your job, spend quality time with your family, or even volunteer your time for a local nonprofit of your choice. Or you could grow tomatoes? Ya ever thought about that?

Of course you haven’t, because some grubby dude in a field is working his balls off right now spraying gallons of deadly, carcinogenic insecticide on zillions of tomatoes baking in the subtropical sun just to get you a huge beefsteak to crown your hamburger. We didn’t crawl from the muck to grow our own food. We did it because as fish with protofeet and sprouting lungs, we had the dream that one day we could cruise Rivals.com all day slobbering at the hypothetical games we’re going to be watching, being the unproductive monkeys all mudskippers dream of being.

And for us, graduate mudskippers, 2007 will be large, large, large. Like Maradona 2007 large. But like Maradona, you’ll get fat not just on quality nutrition, but on the junk food of the schedule, too. Here’s our pair of fattening, non-value games from week one that you’ll watch anyway for all the wrong reasons.


Like, Maradona-large. England points and laughs.

Washington at Syracuse. 8 p.m., ESPN.

Animal, mineral, or vegetable? Vegetable. But it’s the first day of the season, so trainwrecking will pass for entertainment. Syracuse’s horrible, no good, very, very bad offense (worst in the Big East) meets Washington’s crapulent defense (worst in the Pac-10, unless you count Stanford, which we don’t.) This means you may be experiencing physical pain at the end of the second quarter. Breathe deep and push through it, since the ending will likely entail something so gorily inept you’ll kick yourself for not seeing it. This year’s version of Iowa/Syracuse 2006, where you may remember the only goal line stand we’ve ever seen where we didn’t so much credit the defense as excommunicate the offense from the church of decent offense.

Animal correlative: Like watching a toothless old mountain lion attempt to eat a porcupine. Whoever loses last, wins.

West Virginia vs. Marshall. ESPN/ESPN2, TBD.

Animal, mineral, or vegetable?VROOM! Mineral, as in hammered steel pistons pumping out record lap times at Talladega. What had been a slightly substantial rivalry has dimmed to an annual skullknocking with last year’s 42-10 headkicking being a prototypical example of what happens to Marshall when they play a Rich Rodriguez team.

Everyone loves a good sprinting slaughter, though, which this promises to be. Let us remind you that Steve Slaton, repaired wrist and all, will be back with Pat “Meow” White, Darius Reynaud, and incoming phonics champion Noel Devine taking the field in one capacity or another. We haven’t even touched on West Virginia’s improving wideouts. Though Marshall knows exactly what West Virginia will do–run, run, run, run–a team that went “4-7…in the highly competitive Conference-USA” stands little to no chance of getting out of the first quarter without tasting the jet wash of Slaton or White busting multiple sixty yarders on the defense.

Ask the Wannstache, and he will say the same, twitching his mustache all the while.

Animal correlative? A leopard seal ripping a penguin in half.



Filed under: Big East Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Mid Major Conferences, Pacific 10 Conference, bamf!, bizarro superman says you're welcome, hangovers of staggering intensity  by Orson Swindle

ATTEMPT TO IGNORE THE MAGIC MAN.

We’ll have some actual content up in a moment. Please, for the moment, accept the wonder that is Alabama’s Magic Man, rocking out here to Laid Back’s classic “White Horse.” He points! He smiles! He displays the best crotch grab we’ve seen in Tuscaloosa since Mike Dubose’s!

The yellow caution tape? That’s to keep his sexiness from stunning you cold.



Filed under: Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Blog Buddies, conan thinks your tailgate is weak, woo!  by Orson Swindle

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