EXPERTS: DOLPHINS, BERMAN BIGGEST DRAFT LOSERS.

by Orson on Apr 30, 2007 1:30 AM EDT

The NFL Draft is done, and experts now begin the long work of picking apart each team's successes and failures. One day after most experts do agree on the two biggest surprises of the draft: the Miami Dolphins' surprise drafting of Ted Ginn Jr., Ohio State wide receiver and kick returner, with the ninth pick of the draft, and Chris Berman's reach for an unidentified blonde at the ESPNZone Manhattan Afterparty during the sixth round late Saturday night.

"It was an absolute shocker," said Mel Kiper, Jr, who had Ginn going on the first day but not anywhere close to the top ten. "Cam Cameron thinks he's getting the best offensive weapon on the board, but that's a lot to spend for someone who's basically your number three receiver and is coming in with an ankle injury."

"And as far as Berman goes...well, that was shocking, too. He's found better prospects than that in the past."

Draft analyst Sean Salisbury agreed with Kiper's assessment. "Miami really reached with that pick. Aside from Michael Griffin's selection by the Tennessee Titans, it was undoubtedly the reach of the draft. And that chick Berman had on his lap? Like Larry "Bud" Melman with tits. Hey, have I shown you this picture of me on my cell phone?"

Fox Sports Analyst Kevin Landry echoed the shock within all camps regarding Berman's picks. "I understand that things get a little fuzzy during the sixth round of any party, but that was surprising given Berman's stellar past track record. She was thick in the lower body in the way you like, and her upper body was strong through the chest. But above the neck she had issues, and not in the way Brandon Meriwether does. A real reach, if you ask me."

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Nice job. Berman got the beer goggles a little early in the afterparty and wound up literally being with leather.

by Signal to Noise on Apr 30, 2007 3:28 AM EDT reply actions

As a Chargers fan, I have to say that I couldn’t be more thrilled about picking up Brandon Siler. I think he’ll turn out to be a huge steal and a player of his caliber is more than welcome in San Diego. I was shocked to see him fall that far, but it worked out great for us!

by Oski and ye shall receive on Apr 30, 2007 3:55 AM EDT reply actions

The real question is, if Berman were on Sportscenter describing his encounter with that gal, which classic rock songs would he modify/allude to/ruin in the process?
3 possibilities:
Fool For Her T*tties (the city) -Foghat
Flirtin’ With SportsCASTER - Molly Hatchett
Little Fling — Jimi Hendrix

by PDXGoneGator on Apr 30, 2007 4:36 AM EDT reply actions

now, now orson. let’s not speak ill of the dead. and let’s be honest, calvert deforrest could do a hell of a lot better than a woman who looked like chris berman.

by kleph on Apr 30, 2007 5:05 AM EDT reply actions

It’s ok, Brady. It’s ok. Wipe away your tears and come sit in the Commissioner’s suite. We’ll fix you up with some milk and cookies. Aarron Rodgers won’t mind.

by SeaTrojan on Apr 30, 2007 8:03 AM EDT reply actions

You’re with me, Naugahyde.

by drogue on Apr 30, 2007 8:27 AM EDT reply actions

Chris Leak? Where did he go? Oh … awkward …

by LemmeHearYaSayWarEagle on Apr 30, 2007 8:50 AM EDT reply actions

According to that picture, that woman was smuggling pepperoni in her dress

by gosouthgohard on Apr 30, 2007 9:02 AM EDT reply actions

Nine other Florida Gators got drafted. And Leak was bound for Arena League Greatness from the start, so no tears there.

by Orson Swindle on Apr 30, 2007 9:04 AM EDT reply actions

That sound you hear? The rest of the League giving the boys from the 305 a long, slow golf clap. Worst. Pick. That I can remember. (b/c Ever is a long time).
(and this has nothing to do with what TG,J could do in the league- they drafted the guy in a terrible position, when they could have traded down for more picks and still got Ginn later- gigantic what the fuck moment, as shown yesterday on deadspin w/ the video of the Fins fan going apeshit).

by italiangator on Apr 30, 2007 9:41 AM EDT reply actions

It’s like Chris Berman always says, “son, you don’t look at the mantle while you’re poking the fire place.”

by Todd on Apr 30, 2007 9:42 AM EDT reply actions

Chris Berman is living the American Dream. That man is not the least bit handsome. Yet he hooks on with what was basically a community access sports show, rides its meteoric rise, and can woo the ladies with “You’re with me leather.” Is capitalism beautiful or what?

by maskedavenger on Apr 30, 2007 9:45 AM EDT reply actions

Capitalism is a lot prettier than either Berman or his draft choice.

by DevilGrad on Apr 30, 2007 9:53 AM EDT reply actions

actually, as smq pointed out earlier today, leak signed with chicago. now no more of that ‘arena league’ nonsense. it’s only sex cannon jr. jokes from here on out.

by kleph on Apr 30, 2007 10:00 AM EDT reply actions

It looks to me that Berman has 5 choices in that picture.

by maskedavenger on Apr 30, 2007 10:01 AM EDT reply actions

take off her glasses, get her to a hairstylist, a little makeover action and then I think we’ve got ourselves a late 90s teen movie!

by Jerkwheat on Apr 30, 2007 10:11 AM EDT reply actions

I’ve yet to understand why Berman gets such a rough rap. I just don’t see it. Is there something I’m missing?
At worst he is a kind of oafish host type who says mildly amusing things and has some nice guy type things to say when someone dies or something bad happens. He doesn’t really express an opinion.

Why does nobody like this guy?

by KevinFromNB on Apr 30, 2007 10:15 AM EDT reply actions

#17

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=1406#comment-11226

Grab a case and chew on this for a while.

by drogue on Apr 30, 2007 10:27 AM EDT reply actions

While Chris Leak was picked up by the Bears, I hear that Evil Chris will play for the Berlin Thunder and demanded the right to wear a cape.

by LemmeHearYaSayWarEagle on Apr 30, 2007 10:28 AM EDT reply actions

Did Chicago not learn anything from the last time they signed an overrated QB from UF?

Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results each time.

by Aerobab on Apr 30, 2007 10:45 AM EDT reply actions

Pretty hard to feel sorry for any athlete dropping from a higher 8 figure contract to a lower 8 figure contract.

Other than that Quinn was just as lucky as the Browns. Not a chance anyone was going to put the equivalent of Thomas on his O-line with Cleveland’s 2008 #1 pick. And one year early.

Thanks Wayne! What do you take for a Ginn hangover?

by canuck on Apr 30, 2007 10:55 AM EDT reply actions

Fuck it – Chris is going moderately deep

by Jerkwheat on Apr 30, 2007 10:56 AM EDT reply actions

No. 17: Here are my three reasons:

1) Chris Berman thinks he is the cat’s meow to anything NFL or Floozy.

2) Fred Flintsone-like barking announcer (all hat no cattle)

3) His schtick (nicknaming all) is as old as his casual dress wardrobe (from the disco dancing era)

by Harvey Wireman on Apr 30, 2007 11:01 AM EDT reply actions

Canuck: Frady Brady Quinn Losing $33 million dollars plus on draft day….even millionaires would wince at that one…Plus,
Charlie lost a lot of credibility….
Plus, lots of ND fans crying and crying (Blue Gray Sky)….

by Harvey Wireman on Apr 30, 2007 11:05 AM EDT reply actions

Berman doesn’t care about the face. He’s going to hit it from the “back BACK BACK BACK.”

by DevilGrad on Apr 30, 2007 11:53 AM EDT reply actions

Harvey Wireman:

“Lots of Miami Dolphin fans crying and crying”

Fixed.

by ProfKid93 on Apr 30, 2007 12:01 PM EDT reply actions

And on cue…

If Berman does hit it from the BACK BACK BACK, he’ll surely make the WOOP! noise when he “slips” into the number two draft slot in the orifice lottery.

by Orson Swindle on Apr 30, 2007 12:22 PM EDT reply actions

Prof Snot Kid 93:

I am no ND fan, of course, but this Miami fan’s reaction makes your point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Cn91riFzg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edeadspin%2Ecom%2F

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Apr 30, 2007 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

HW,

Winced is an understatement when athletes watch contracts drop by 8 figures, but why should fans ever wince about smaller 8 figure paydays. Nor does Weis’s credibility hang on Miami’s Ginn hangover.

Naive posters live on every board including BGS. First round picks on QB’s are always high risk. The number of teams who have more to lose (i.e. jobs) by not picking a QB can usually be counted on thumbs.

Thomas or equal wouldn’t have come from next year’s pick, so Brown fans, ND fans, and Quinn fans got lucky. So sad for Quinn’s agents and investment houses

by canuck on Apr 30, 2007 12:30 PM EDT reply actions

Kiebler Elf -

Enjoyable, although nothing really matches Jets fans reacting to draft picks.

by ProfKid93 on Apr 30, 2007 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

DevilGrad and Orson: +1 to both of you, and a note that I now to clean the coffee off my monitor.

by Signal to Noise on Apr 30, 2007 3:29 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t feel bad for Brady as: Hummer+Nike+EAS+Subway+XBOX=Ca$h !!!! I feel bad for Darius Walker, he left early (only two classes short of his degree) but never got drafted. He was picked up as a FA for DaBears !!!!! but he got some bad info……..Though his draft status probably wouldn’t improve, atleast he’d have another year !!!!

But watching Brady on draft day was painful……learning experience……No matter how good you think you are, it’s all about supply and demand in the NFL !!!!!

by cuss on Apr 30, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

Again, to #25 and #27 -

In the post-draft interview with Suzy Kolber, Butterface commented on Berman’s combine skills: “Unfortunately, he slipped down the board a bit, because he was rumbling, bumbling, and stumbling a lot at the end.”

by Signal to Noise on Apr 30, 2007 3:56 PM EDT reply actions